This could be a really good time for me to start a practice of forgiving more easily. I think I have needed some distance (time) to even experience anything beyond the hurt and dismay someone has caused me before moving outwards ( or doing a U-turn) to see both – what I experienced objectively, and what they may have experienced that led them to speak and behave as they did.
A realisation that we all have our own paths and restrictions and focusing on mine is a relief to my senses and body. I have one life to live and that’s mine , knowing that others in my have theirs too frees to concentrate on what makes me happy and to let go of disappointment and loss guilt free. Without the guilt I have more space to explore by own paths and feeling more joy which I can then pass on to others around me. Potentially my whole environment and relationships have a sense of ease.
The effort and time sometimes needed to let go of judgment and blame resonated with me. I thought that I had healed from the hurt of chronic blame and judgment until a recent event left me drowning in feelings that were familiar from long ago. I see that I have still more work to do…
Thank you for this timely and sage reminder.
Cindy Mcatee, Social Work, Greenwood , IN, USAsays
What a great set of videos:) In my opinion, these are skills desperately needed prior to marriage and having children. They have an ability to change generations. To be able to understand what’s behind the judgment and frustration so that the unidentified/unmet emotional need may be met. We are the agent of change in our own transformation and being equipped to know “how to best drive the bus,” when triggered us huge!
I would be living more in the moment, open to the present without feelings of lingering resentment or hurt by actions of others, both in the past and going forward. I would be lighter hearted and like myself more.
Sounds like a great program! Not right timing for me. Hopefully you will offer it again ( even though I heard you say you wouldn’t. If you spent so much time on it I would think you would want to offer it again)
I understand what you were saying in this video- and though I know that other person is wounded from things this person never worked through-then poured into her children that her happiness is above all things-thus the manipulation etc. My question is when a person gets to that place of softness and compassion for that person, it does not mean you allow them to continue to hurt you? This is a person who is older and never really seen how she treats her kids etc. It is such a fine line, to forgive, not forget, yet keep healthy boundaries and compassion for the person at the same time.
Donald Nickerson, Counseling, Kingston, MA, USAsays
I could be creative and write about what I’ve learned and research it’s place in our body of knowledge. I could stop the trail of hurt, aloneness, self condemnation and disease that plagued my family and our world. But it seems like a uncrossable chasm right now. But I know that if I move forward in faith a pathway through the inscrutable wall off in the distance will miraculously appear!
Excellent information and exercise to move toward freedom. So very timely for me at this time in my life. I look forward to practicing and learning more for myself and those that I serve
I would be a more joyful person, with lots of energy to put in much more fun stuff for my life, free to connect with my creative side again and with all around me, instead of the bitterness and sadness I carry every day being angry or worrying.
As I’m traveling on the train, I’ve listened to your video. I’ve always been very interested about this subject because I know it’s part of my problems in relationships and work. More less wif I have to se the relations with my daughters. Which make me think that I’m more open hearted with them. I’ve done a Master degree in Mindfulness, and I’ve thought that part of my self blames were behind, but recently since I’m having issues with my partner I can see the same pattern of hate and blame which ends in aa loop of self devaluation. All of these it’s a repercussion to my work quality. Thank you for thinking and design such a valuable tool. Namaste 🙏🏻 Tidy
I have already seen the changes that can happen when you practice compassion towards the person who hurt you in the past. The person becomes gentler because they feel loved and safe with you.
Thanks for showing how our blame keeps us stuck in our fears. This is a very helpful, specific process that worked immediately as I thought about the ways I was blaming someone else for my own inadequacies. Very powerful. Many thanks.
Someone who is free to experience healthy relationships with others and life. Giving me confidence to move forward in life without always being crippled by fear.
Jan Carpenter, Another Field, Ashland, VA, USAsays
I would be less worried, more free to just let things be as they are, more content, friendlier, more open, less concerned with fairness, more loving and kind
As a child, I was the self object for my parents. They used me to feel happier about themselves through my achievements and my appearance. They were terribly injured parents, both surviving the Holocaust. As an adult, I forgive them. My husband does the same, feeling better about himself by my accomplishments or my appearance, frequently commenting or bragging to others. He too has been deeply injured by his mother. The tool I learned today will help
me become aware of how it would be better for me to shower us both with compassion when I get triggered in these situations
Maria Chah, Health Education, Boynton Beach, FL, USAsays
When I made a U-turn I felt an overall sense of ease in my body and mind. A a showering of acceptance of self where I felt I no longer had to prove something in order to be right about it… letting go of the thought to be right allowed me to breath a bit easier because I realized that what i was holding on to really would not have made anything better….because just thinking and constant worrying kept me tight and upset.
I began to cry because my mother left me in my early teenage, not physically but she did not care anymore. The result was that I became very lonely with depression. My parents were divorced and I had no relation with my father because he was not able to be a father.. I always wished another father.
Both my parentes hade an unsecure childhood.
Thank you for encouraging me to find a way out of blaming which leads to not judging the person who has hurt me. I love the gentleness of this practice and thank you for enabling me to hear it. Thanks Tara.
Lorraine
Im feeling awful for dragging up old greivances and hurting old friends for saying things which break safe boundaries. I need to forgive myself. I will be a kinder person then.
I would be more relaxed, happy and confident.
I’d experience less anxiety and fear of future and could get off the roller coaster ride of self blame and anger about what’s happened
Tears flowed as I felt the grief for what I’d wanted to receive from the other person, but which I didn’t. The beginnings of an opening to self-compassion.
I would be someone who felt worthy, lovable and able to love others.
Thank you sooo much Ruth with the series presented by Tara Brach, eye opening as well as confirmation of issues sensed.
Wanda 🐸
I enjoyed it very much. I forwarded it to my husband. Hope he watches it but even if he doesn’t, it really resonated deeply within my own life.
This could be a really good time for me to start a practice of forgiving more easily. I think I have needed some distance (time) to even experience anything beyond the hurt and dismay someone has caused me before moving outwards ( or doing a U-turn) to see both – what I experienced objectively, and what they may have experienced that led them to speak and behave as they did.
look forward to using this practice.
A realisation that we all have our own paths and restrictions and focusing on mine is a relief to my senses and body. I have one life to live and that’s mine , knowing that others in my have theirs too frees to concentrate on what makes me happy and to let go of disappointment and loss guilt free. Without the guilt I have more space to explore by own paths and feeling more joy which I can then pass on to others around me. Potentially my whole environment and relationships have a sense of ease.
The effort and time sometimes needed to let go of judgment and blame resonated with me. I thought that I had healed from the hurt of chronic blame and judgment until a recent event left me drowning in feelings that were familiar from long ago. I see that I have still more work to do…
Thank you for this timely and sage reminder.
What a great set of videos:) In my opinion, these are skills desperately needed prior to marriage and having children. They have an ability to change generations. To be able to understand what’s behind the judgment and frustration so that the unidentified/unmet emotional need may be met. We are the agent of change in our own transformation and being equipped to know “how to best drive the bus,” when triggered us huge!
I love the U turn practice. I felt the healing begin
I would be free.
I would be happier and at peace with myself.
I would be living more in the moment, open to the present without feelings of lingering resentment or hurt by actions of others, both in the past and going forward. I would be lighter hearted and like myself more.
I would be by absolute true self, able to make clear choices and love openly with one another.
A loving heart, almost free of suffering…
In Open Heart More consistently
Sounds like a great program! Not right timing for me. Hopefully you will offer it again ( even though I heard you say you wouldn’t. If you spent so much time on it I would think you would want to offer it again)
I would be softer, gentler, less reactive and more at peace with myself.
more peaceful
Thank you for the 2 resources which i will practise. Caroline
I understand what you were saying in this video- and though I know that other person is wounded from things this person never worked through-then poured into her children that her happiness is above all things-thus the manipulation etc. My question is when a person gets to that place of softness and compassion for that person, it does not mean you allow them to continue to hurt you? This is a person who is older and never really seen how she treats her kids etc. It is such a fine line, to forgive, not forget, yet keep healthy boundaries and compassion for the person at the same time.
Thank you Tara..this reflection gave me some wonderful insights.
More open to love and gratitude.
This is beautiful. Thank you.
Self Compassion is at the core of world peace.
I could be creative and write about what I’ve learned and research it’s place in our body of knowledge. I could stop the trail of hurt, aloneness, self condemnation and disease that plagued my family and our world. But it seems like a uncrossable chasm right now. But I know that if I move forward in faith a pathway through the inscrutable wall off in the distance will miraculously appear!
I would be happier and generate peace
Excellent information and exercise to move toward freedom. So very timely for me at this time in my life. I look forward to practicing and learning more for myself and those that I serve
I would be a more joyful person, with lots of energy to put in much more fun stuff for my life, free to connect with my creative side again and with all around me, instead of the bitterness and sadness I carry every day being angry or worrying.
Who would I be if I let go of judgement and chronic blame?……..I’d be the a part of the collective here to heal the world at this time.
More free and connected
Free
Hello
As I’m traveling on the train, I’ve listened to your video. I’ve always been very interested about this subject because I know it’s part of my problems in relationships and work. More less wif I have to se the relations with my daughters. Which make me think that I’m more open hearted with them. I’ve done a Master degree in Mindfulness, and I’ve thought that part of my self blames were behind, but recently since I’m having issues with my partner I can see the same pattern of hate and blame which ends in aa loop of self devaluation. All of these it’s a repercussion to my work quality. Thank you for thinking and design such a valuable tool. Namaste 🙏🏻 Tidy
I have already seen the changes that can happen when you practice compassion towards the person who hurt you in the past. The person becomes gentler because they feel loved and safe with you.
I feel that a burden has been removed.
Joy filled and free
Thanks for showing how our blame keeps us stuck in our fears. This is a very helpful, specific process that worked immediately as I thought about the ways I was blaming someone else for my own inadequacies. Very powerful. Many thanks.
I would feel free and responsible
Someone who is free to experience healthy relationships with others and life. Giving me confidence to move forward in life without always being crippled by fear.
I would be less worried, more free to just let things be as they are, more content, friendlier, more open, less concerned with fairness, more loving and kind
It’s so motivating to know there is hope for clients who suffer with this. Thanks for your generosity and wisdom 😇
As a child, I was the self object for my parents. They used me to feel happier about themselves through my achievements and my appearance. They were terribly injured parents, both surviving the Holocaust. As an adult, I forgive them. My husband does the same, feeling better about himself by my accomplishments or my appearance, frequently commenting or bragging to others. He too has been deeply injured by his mother. The tool I learned today will help
me become aware of how it would be better for me to shower us both with compassion when I get triggered in these situations
I would be a fewer, lighter, more joyful person
When I made a U-turn I felt an overall sense of ease in my body and mind. A a showering of acceptance of self where I felt I no longer had to prove something in order to be right about it… letting go of the thought to be right allowed me to breath a bit easier because I realized that what i was holding on to really would not have made anything better….because just thinking and constant worrying kept me tight and upset.
A person living in the present who open and giving
I felt my body soften. I will become a bigger heart for myself and others in the practice of the u turn.
I would feel calmer and more at ease with myself.
Happier, and free
Tara and Ruth, You are offering a precious gift to our world and planet…and to me! Eternally grateful, Jean
I began to cry because my mother left me in my early teenage, not physically but she did not care anymore. The result was that I became very lonely with depression. My parents were divorced and I had no relation with my father because he was not able to be a father.. I always wished another father.
Both my parentes hade an unsecure childhood.
Thank you for encouraging me to find a way out of blaming which leads to not judging the person who has hurt me. I love the gentleness of this practice and thank you for enabling me to hear it. Thanks Tara.
Lorraine
Im feeling awful for dragging up old greivances and hurting old friends for saying things which break safe boundaries. I need to forgive myself. I will be a kinder person then.
i would be happier.
I would be more relaxed, happy and confident.
I’d experience less anxiety and fear of future and could get off the roller coaster ride of self blame and anger about what’s happened
Tears flowed as I felt the grief for what I’d wanted to receive from the other person, but which I didn’t. The beginnings of an opening to self-compassion.
I would be someone who felt worthy, lovable and able to love others.