[1912] Radical Self-Compassion[3] PLC3 Confirmed [Tara Brach]

Part 1

Feelings of Unworthiness

Part 1

Feelings of Unworthiness

Part 2

Silence Self-Judgment

Part 2

Silence Self-Judgment

Part 3

Shift Out of Blame

Part 4

Radical Self-Compassion

Part 4

Radical Self-Compassion

Shift Out of Blame and Into Compassion

Who would you be if you let go of judgment and chronic blame?

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3,992 Comments

S T, Health Education, AU says

I’d be a lot less angry and more loving as a daughter and partner.

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Tita Nieves, Nutrition, Durham, NC, USA says

Thank you again Tara. This information assisted me to put in perspective my painful emotions around important people in my life. Despite my understanding of human behavior and spiritual contracts, I have been feeling anger and kept asking myself how could they done something like that.
After having a good cry the anger has shifted to compassion for myself and them!
My deepest gratitude to you Tara!

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Cati Blitz, Teacher, Nashville, TN, USA says

I’d be more responsive to people and circumstances rather than reactive, more present, peaceful and positive, curious and open to the flow of life.

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gloria bernard, Counseling, Chicago, IL, USA says

Myself

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J Lord, Social Work, CA says

I’d be much happier and more pressent and in the moment.

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Julie Thorstad, Social Work, Fargo , ND, USA says

I would find more peace …..

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David Newman, Delray Beach, FL, USA says

Thanks. Beautiful teaching. I have a practice of doing this, and you gave me nice metaphors.. I believe our vulnerabilities and sensitivities are our superpowers because they can open our heart.

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Deborah Alexis, houston , TX, USA says

I think I would be more present and loving in my current relationship. I do my best to be empathetic and see other people’s “wounded leg” but I can’t shake the feeling that I keep excusing or encouraging maladaptive behaviors towards me from the other person.

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Lesley Lacny, Psychotherapy, Lake Oswego, OR, USA says

Thank you for offering free resources. These videos are concise and to the point. A mindshift that we are all in need of.

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Fleurette, Other, CA says

Who would I be, you ask. I think I could become my true authentic self.. I would become More Myself. This will be hard work; however I am hopeful because after all, I have control over, and can change only ME. I’m reminded of the all encompassing Serenity Prayer. Than you!

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jodi canova-moore, Student, Griswold, CT, USA says

The shift out of self-judgement into self-compassion is difficult, but it is something I work at. I can be more compassionate for others than for myself. It’s the negative self-talk that immediately crops up in my brain that I am learning to change as well.

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Anonymous Woman says

I am very grateful to have this practice! I have several very anger provoking situations in my life, and I will now put these to use. Truly appreciate it!

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Julie Edgerton, Social Work, Columbus, OH, USA says

I can be a happy true authentic me!

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Jeannine Michel, Medicine, CH says

Since a very long time I try to figure out why my siliblings and I can’t love our parents. I feel really bad because of this and I can’t change my feelings toward my parents. It’s not hate, but no love. I’m trying with this course to free me from this bad feelings.
Thank you Tara for the gift of your teachings!

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Anonymous says

I found the U turn around helped me soften inside . I felt self compassion helped me
be more compassionate towards a few members of my family .

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Anonymous says

I have a long ways to go. I shut down my emotions as a way of dealing with lots of confusion and emotional trauma in my past. It brings me to tears whenever I tell myself it’s okay to feel because for so long I prided myself in not feeling. It mostly comes down to grief that I didn’t have a family who could love me and a self who could love me. I’m learning all of that now in my 40s.

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- Mary Howard, Coach, CA says
  
  I resonate with your story. the way you describe it is perfect: the confusion was too much for me. the grief still comes up sometimes. the tap used to flow and now it is more of a trickle. best thing I did was to accept and allow it to flow whenever I needed to (and could find a safe physical space for it
  
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- Kath Odon, Teacher, IE says
  
  I know that the hurt came from a person who themselves was hurt. The U turn helps with that.
  
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Nanette Levine-Mann says

very helpful.

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suza zim says

thanks so much tara . . ..i can always listen like new . . . I am sort of repeating it over and over again . .seems to be necessary, and each time like a new “turn” . . .and each time a relaxing body reaction – after teh intnesifying of the pain.
AM I PAIN addicted?????

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Sophie Costello, Another Field, AU says

I believe I would be a much kinder parent and calmer person. Perhaps I would soften my views on how others can expressive themselves.
The U turn shows me that I am confused and feel indignant and fearful of the future with newly emerging teenager to live with.
I feel powerless and that scares me.

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Marc Lippman, Social Work, Apalachin, NY, USA says

Thank you, Tara. Even before I participated in your Radical Compassion program a year or more ago, I’ve been moving toward that You/Me in that “You turn.” As I let myself move closer, I encounter, and, most importantly, but also painfully, FEEL how very painful and scary and sad my childhood and adolescence was, and its odten unhappy affect on the rest of my life. I know this is the way, or the way for me, just very difficult, especially in relationship to my wife who also has “her leg in a trap.” You have helped me to normalize this difficult journey, and encouraged me. Thank you for that.

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Anonymous says

Thank you, Tara. Been taking that “You Turn” even before I participated in your Radical Compassion program a year or so ago. I know this is the way…very difficult as I encounter and let my self feel how very painful and scary my childhood and adolescence was. I knew just about all the facts, the events, but I kept those very injured parts at a distance, a few very good, hard working protectors. And, of course regularly triggered by my wife with her “foot in that trap.” So just to say that you have helped me normalize, support thia difficult journey inside…and at times when I can let the tears go, I do feel, believe in that “Gold Inside.

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Anonymous says

Thank you Tara. The U Turn practice brings attention back to presence. These “triggers” are another opportunity to remember, recognize and acknowledge our core foundation!

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Fran Riemer, Coach, USA says

Very helpful advice for self compassion. I would feel freer to experience the present moment. Judgement is a position I take too often.

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Joanne Guimond, Counseling, CA says

I felt warmth inside.
Thank you

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J K Lanzer, Psychology, Phoenix, AZ, USA says

I currently have female clients yearning to break the pattern of blame anger and …..
Lic integrative coun/psych

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H H, VA, USA says

I’d be a more compassionate person and less self focused.

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Julie M, Stress Management, GB says

I felt a softening and kindness within myself and a desire to feel kindness towards the other.
Also aware of my feeling that I’m tired of this repeated attitude, possibly habit of behaviour from other.
More to work on.

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N Baxter, Marriage/Family Therapy, CA, USA says

as i begin to understand my unresolved grief i’m starting to see how blame and resentment can trap my leg and how that plays out in my life. the you turn helps along with recognizing the second arrows. thank you so much.

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Robbie Byrne, Counseling, IE says

If I let go of judgment and blame, I will have come home to myself.

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- J K Lanzer, Psychology, Phoenix, AZ, USA says
  
  I currently have female clients yearning to break the pattern of blame anger and …..
  Lic integrative coun/psych
  
  Reply
Kathy K., Santa Clara, CA, USA says

I might free myself from feeling one-down, and defensive if I could let go of judgment and blame!

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I Z, Social Work, GB says

Thank you, U turn practice is very powerful.

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Robert Marx, Psychology, GB says

unstuck

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Janet Webb, Counseling, St. Louis, MO, USA says

Thinking of my sister and the cruel things she has said about my husband. I also have shame from the way I handled our parents’ estate. I was able to remember her absence and judgmental comments as adults compared to her struggles when we were young. I began to feel compassion for her situation and for mine as well

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M B, Counseling, CA says

The videos are very helpful. I took a “U” turn from the grief story I was telling myself-due to my expectations from my brother and sister-in-law and their failure to meet them. Grief and resentment story got rooted and soon I was shooting myself and others with multiple arrows as I repeated my narrative to myself and others countless times! I have made a “U” turn and no longer see my brother and sister-in-law in the same way. I see them as people caught in their own realities and dysfunctional schemas and I accept them the way they are. I am letting go of “should be” “could be” and all harsh judgements of others. I forgive them and myself for the experience. I feel free and compassionate as I let go…

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Tea Ingvars, Psychotherapy, SE says

Blaming is so poisoning. I look forward to try using self compassion to heal. I suffer so much from anger towards one close person and so far I’ve actually felt helpless. Now I’m hopeful this teaching could take me in a new direction.

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Anonymous says

I spend more time blaming and punishing myself about being me than feeling anything else about myself self. It’s a lifelong habit and practice that I find almost impossible to change….. and I have tried, a lot and often. It makes me cry to realize that I have probably hurt myself more than any original hurt that I lived.

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Giedrius, Another Field, LT says

Thanks. It’s seems I find the key to open my locked relationships.

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Nadia Zayman, Psychotherapy, Weaverville, NC, USA says

There are some hurts that I cannot forgive, as they cut too derply at a tender age. What I would like to be able to do is not forgive, but accept, “yes, that happened, and I survived.”

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Merlinda Weinberg, Social Work, CA says

I especially appreciated recognizing the grief in relationships that underlies blame towards others. Thank you.

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- Mary Mohn, Teacher, DE says
  
  I love this perspective as I too feel a lot of grief of all the disappointments involved.
  
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M. M. Miller, Washington, DC, USA says

In listening to this workshop and doing the short practice, the need to understand the past and practice compassion has become clearer. The U-turn practice is very helpful, and brings a natural release. The image of the trap on the leg is another helpful tool.

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laurence mc kenzie, Social Work, CH says

i would be a bodhisatva, or at least, much more happy!

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Anonymous says

Thank you so much for these free videos. Tara, you covered some of the most critical areas that impact us all, in such a loving and compassionate way. I think there is a lot of help here for many who are so very lost.. I will be using this work in my practice as a therapist and in my personal life.

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Josi Chaves, CA says

Thank you for the guidance to reach some tenderness inside me. May we all be well.

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Anonymous says

Letting go of blame and shame helps me to recognized my freedom from destructive habits of the mind..

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Sian Pope, Psychotherapy, GB says

Thankyou for sharing these tools of relationship, so gently framed and easy to follow

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Jan Ar, Nursing, CA says

It is easier to have compassion for other when distanced from the incident but will be a struggle in the moment of hurt, feelings of rejection or abandonment or triggering of feelings of unworthiness. But possible.

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Sian Pope, Psychotherapy, GB says

I would be less reactive, clearer and more able to respond helpfully

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Tara Saia Lewis, Psychology, North Richland Hills, TX, USA says

I love the insights and practical methods shared by Tara. Very usable stuff! Thanks for putting it out there.

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Coby Macaulay, Marriage/Family Therapy, GB says

Free spirit. Free from ego trappings . Spontaneously. Compassionate

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Cynthia McGrath, Teacher, Rockford, IL, USA says

The image of a person with their ‘leg in a trap’ is so powerful. It has helped me access compassion for a particularly difficult situation and relationship. thank you so much!

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