Lovely to find empathy and compassion for the person with the “leg in the trap”…
We all have a leg in the trap!! Free our hearts ! I love that! Yes! We belong to each other! We can’t find peace because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ” It’s really ok to feel this.”… I needed that especially. u-turns are important.
Joseph Coykendall, Counseling, Torrington, WY, USAsays
As a young boy, going through major adverse childhood experiences, I always blamed myself for the dysfunction between my parents. I did not understand a whole lot for years and the substance abuse and self-hatred built up and my self-esteem suffered, looking for assurance from anybody. I eventually healed after major consequences for behaviors.
Tara is so correct in practice #2: “learning to see the vulnerabilities in others”. I am now in long-term recovery and couldn’t imagine living without seeing brokenness and suffering in others. This has become my mission.
Who would I be? A serious question.
At 17 I was barely able to function beyond instinct, so strong was my insecurity and self-doubt. Always a lingering affect, it followed me through a career, a family and now, after 3 stents from a heart event and a reoccurrence of prostate cancer to that rather grim word metastasis.
At 74 the affect, and effect, still peeks at me daily. I have wonderful, powerful children and am still with a highly performing and supportive partner, but those feelings of inauthenticity and insecurity, likely also shame, remain.
Both heavily challenged parents have passed, of course. Both at 96. Ha. And my blame and lack of forgiveness remains. What a shame. But, you have offered me serious food for thought. It’s perhaps still not too late for a possible Uturn.
L
I touched a deep feeling of insecurity and unworthiness due to a work conflict. And Sat with my hurt feelings and fear of the unknown and the future.
A lovely practice of caring and getting to know my vulnerability and need for self compassion.
Thank you Tara
I’m so relieved to have found this. I’m stuck in exactly a vicious cycle of hurting others and blaming myself for it. It’s downward spiral and only these videos and podcasts help me through difficult hours. So glad and grateful for this.
Greetings from Germany
when i let go of judgment my relationship would get much better, because we both suffer of old pain and fears we learned when we were young now we are mirrors and hurt each other sometimes without noticing.
So for me it is very important to learn letting go of judgment.
Dear Tara,
I thank you for all I have learned by you for several years now, it takes time.
I felt again softened and you gave me the inside of being closed to myself and others when I am angry and blaming and cannot construct.
With warmth, Hanna
I have found the techniques/teachings you talked about to be very profound and effective. I strive to incorporate them in my life. It’s not easy but so worthwhile.
If I could let go of judgment, rage, anger, guilt, fear, and chronic blame, it would change my life dramatically. I have deep issues from my past and also a troubled future if I don’t receive help for my anger and get in under control!! I’m afraid of how truly hateful I am. Needing to get to the root of the problem is how I need to begin my journey with letting things go and finding peace within myself. I can’t and won’t live like this anymore. Everyday is a struggle with rage and anger. I want to be happy, free and not learn how to deal with my issues in a healthy way.
Thank you Tara,
Touched compassion for myself. Brought up feelings of both anger and compassion for others, w/ the anger fear that if and when I show compassion I will continue to be hurt by them. Questions about how to hold compassion AND boundaries at the same time.
Touched right down into deep vulnerability, burst shortly into tears, like a flash, now feeling much, much lighter and peaceful and present and like being myself again.
Thank you Tara! To see in the other person the wish to be close, and accepted was so strong that he hurt me. I could see that during your questions and forgive. I was so ashamed that the person treated me like that at the time that I closed up and felt attacked.
Powerful to recognise the Emotion and reason behind it and then to Focus on feeling compassion for Myself. Also Interesting to look for the other’s leg in the trap But finding that hard to find still making it hard to open my heart to them but open to keep trying and have the feeling of how powerful that could be to find it
I’d be happier and more at peace. I have a habit of blaming myself when I notice myself judging others, so the self-compassion and letting go of judgement and blame of others truly come hand in hand.
I have been listening to your talks and I love the way you work. I am trying to change my relationship with one of my sons and this tralk has given me some strength to approach him.
thank you!
I would-be an openminded, free, happy and authentiek person.
Would love the audio recording, thank you
I would be me.
Sounds simple, but it’s not.
Lovely to find empathy and compassion for the person with the “leg in the trap”…
We all have a leg in the trap!! Free our hearts ! I love that! Yes! We belong to each other! We can’t find peace because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ” It’s really ok to feel this.”… I needed that especially. u-turns are important.
As a young boy, going through major adverse childhood experiences, I always blamed myself for the dysfunction between my parents. I did not understand a whole lot for years and the substance abuse and self-hatred built up and my self-esteem suffered, looking for assurance from anybody. I eventually healed after major consequences for behaviors.
Tara is so correct in practice #2: “learning to see the vulnerabilities in others”. I am now in long-term recovery and couldn’t imagine living without seeing brokenness and suffering in others. This has become my mission.
Joe
Who would I be? A serious question.
At 17 I was barely able to function beyond instinct, so strong was my insecurity and self-doubt. Always a lingering affect, it followed me through a career, a family and now, after 3 stents from a heart event and a reoccurrence of prostate cancer to that rather grim word metastasis.
At 74 the affect, and effect, still peeks at me daily. I have wonderful, powerful children and am still with a highly performing and supportive partner, but those feelings of inauthenticity and insecurity, likely also shame, remain.
Both heavily challenged parents have passed, of course. Both at 96. Ha. And my blame and lack of forgiveness remains. What a shame. But, you have offered me serious food for thought. It’s perhaps still not too late for a possible Uturn.
L
I touched a deep feeling of insecurity and unworthiness due to a work conflict. And Sat with my hurt feelings and fear of the unknown and the future.
A lovely practice of caring and getting to know my vulnerability and need for self compassion.
Thank you Tara
I would be free
Thank you for your wisdom
I found it very enlightening and felt it is something I can do. I really need to learn to have self compassion and loss blame.
I would be someone who was able to act from my true self if I let go judgment and chronic blame. Thank you for this helpful video Tara.
I’m so relieved to have found this. I’m stuck in exactly a vicious cycle of hurting others and blaming myself for it. It’s downward spiral and only these videos and podcasts help me through difficult hours. So glad and grateful for this.
Greetings from Germany
This was very helpful as I get in touch with my own shame and blame connected with my partner’s addiction.
when i let go of judgment my relationship would get much better, because we both suffer of old pain and fears we learned when we were young now we are mirrors and hurt each other sometimes without noticing.
So for me it is very important to learn letting go of judgment.
This is a struggle for me, but I felt a shift toward compassion at the U-turn and will strive to be a more compassionate being.
I would be a healthy compassionate person.
Dear Tara,
I thank you for all I have learned by you for several years now, it takes time.
I felt again softened and you gave me the inside of being closed to myself and others when I am angry and blaming and cannot construct.
With warmth, Hanna
I would probably be a more free and happier person than I used to be.
Free
I would be the peaceful, loving, nurturing person I wanted to be as a child, who I most admired!
I kinder, less encumbered being.
I have found the techniques/teachings you talked about to be very profound and effective. I strive to incorporate them in my life. It’s not easy but so worthwhile.
I would be liberated from my self blame and liberated to love the other As Is-
I would be more peacefull.
I would be as I remember I was as a small child,carefree,trusting and full of love and life. How did I become so fearful judgemental and blaming
I would be at peace with others and myself.
If I could let go – I would run the world. The world of happiness within myself and those that I love.
I would be less anxious, but most of all more true myself: open-hearted, caring and compassionate
So helpful!
I will breath more fully and easly
More free, present and light
If I could let go of judgment, rage, anger, guilt, fear, and chronic blame, it would change my life dramatically. I have deep issues from my past and also a troubled future if I don’t receive help for my anger and get in under control!! I’m afraid of how truly hateful I am. Needing to get to the root of the problem is how I need to begin my journey with letting things go and finding peace within myself. I can’t and won’t live like this anymore. Everyday is a struggle with rage and anger. I want to be happy, free and not learn how to deal with my issues in a healthy way.
Thank you Tara,
Touched compassion for myself. Brought up feelings of both anger and compassion for others, w/ the anger fear that if and when I show compassion I will continue to be hurt by them. Questions about how to hold compassion AND boundaries at the same time.
Thank you. Lot of the thing is inside me!
Touched right down into deep vulnerability, burst shortly into tears, like a flash, now feeling much, much lighter and peaceful and present and like being myself again.
Happy
radiant
Thank you Tara! To see in the other person the wish to be close, and accepted was so strong that he hurt me. I could see that during your questions and forgive. I was so ashamed that the person treated me like that at the time that I closed up and felt attacked.
The “leg in a trap” awareness is mind-awakening.
i would be more natural, a better me, feeling free as i would no longer carry the heavy burden of of my hurts
Thanks for sharing there videos.
I would be more in peace.
Powerful to recognise the Emotion and reason behind it and then to Focus on feeling compassion for Myself. Also Interesting to look for the other’s leg in the trap But finding that hard to find still making it hard to open my heart to them but open to keep trying and have the feeling of how powerful that could be to find it
Someone who could use their time in a more understanding, free and loving way.
I’d be happier and more at peace. I have a habit of blaming myself when I notice myself judging others, so the self-compassion and letting go of judgement and blame of others truly come hand in hand.
I have been listening to your talks and I love the way you work. I am trying to change my relationship with one of my sons and this tralk has given me some strength to approach him.
thank you!
Thank you for offering your kindness and the practices in the 3 videos.
This is such an important question — I’ve written it down to focus on this for awhile. But, I’m feeling peace thinking of this.
I would be less stressed and able to live with more joy and presence.
Spend more time experiencing the person I want to be. Thank you for sharing these videos
I’d not only give my lambic system a break, but in doing so, I’d be a person I admire rather than loathe!
“ Whole-ly”… MYSELF