I felt an openness in my heart, a softening. Tears arising, but no crying (yet). I have experienced a strong dislike towards some of my reactions in the last few days and a feeling of shame because even though knowing better ways to deal with stress I was reacting in harmful ways too often. The video reminded me of taking a pause while posing those powerful questions to myself. Thank you.
I felt my fear and then when I opened to it, it lessened. I am so grateful for your teaching and sharing. I learn so much from “wounded healers” who teach and who share with humility their own struggles and what they have learned.
Blessings to you and all of us on this journey.
I have named my nit-picky self critic the “can’t sing choir”… when I tune into the voices I hear in- harmonious noise. It makes me laugh, and I invite them to leave like in the old gong show. I watch them file out in their self important way. I try to watch with gentle humor and kindness.
Unfortunately, I also experience the “Unholy Choir” still haunting me from my traumatic childhood. This, I’m not so good at. I’m very fearful of this inner critic and tend to let it run rough shod over who I want to be. I am trying to stand up to this voice. It’s hard to ” be with it”. I’m working on it.???
During meditation I feel my higher self come and comfort me. It is sustaining the state of mind I struggle with. The flicker of that voice saying, you are the problem.
I love how the universe works on our behalf. Embarrassingly, last night I had two margaritas and it brought up some deep-seated insecurities. I kept repeating to my husband, I gotta be me I gotta be me… and what I meant was I long for deep relationships but sometimes I feel like people have an aversion to me. So then I tried to please them, that doesn’t work. I just have to be who I am, someone who loves beautiful things and is blessed with them, someone who loves gardening and cooking and present them in a beautiful way and host wonderful parties. I am blessed to be able to travel to wonderful places. I shouldn’t have to shrink back and not have people over and not cook beautiful things I just have to love who I am and who I am blessed to be and then I will attract people who will appreciate it. I have to be true to who I am.
My partner Cecelia and I have spent quite a while discussing your presentation… the things we unconsciously hide – now a bit clearer, the things we consciously push down… all the ways we knowingly or unknowingly keep ourselves from being all that we can be. Thank you for your words.
I felt some softening towards self-blame and resentment but I also felt as though I was running up against a very thick wall. I feel as though I need more time and practice to bring kindness to my feelings of unworthiness.
It feels foreign and I’m not sure I’m succeeding at it. Either way it doesn’t last. It’s so brief and doesn’t seem to create any lasting effect that I’m so desperate to feel. That I’m ok.
When I asked myself what was happening, I immediately started to cry, because I identified with everything you were saying about feeling unworthy and not good enough. To show kindness, I spoke to my inner child and told her that I loved her and that she was not only good enough, but amazing. I felt myself relax and calm down.
Thank you for your invitation… I needed to be reminded again today. To be kind to myself. I’ve practiced “being with” so often … and the experience when I’m truly able to allow myself to STAY there… is amazing, I experience great peace deep inside. And yet, often, I cut short the experience… allowing the judgment of self or the other to distract me. What helps me then is to fully embrace myself with all of that and then,, to let go… I want to share a practice I’ve developed through the years for myself and my clients or spiritual directees. I call it NOEL, which in French is the celebration of the birth of Jesus. NOEL – rebirth… Name it, Own it, Embrace yourself fully, and Let go – surrender.
Thank you
Mercedes Rojo
I experienced a sense of guilt and shame for putting myself ahead of others. I’ve been conditioned to believe that you should put other people before yourself. When I think about putting myself first it makes me feel like I’m being selfish and/or ungrateful.
I experienced a myriad of all the things/feelings I hate about myself. It felt like they were going to explode out of me. My whole body felt overwhelmed and full of nauseating bilious matter. As I tried to extend compassion to myself I noticed a very slight softening in my body. However, the thoughts kept intruding and sabotaging any feeling of softening.
I found it easier with the least emotional fears and anxieties and I could sense my own essence ….. but I didn’t want to stay with the deep fear.
I so look forward to your next video and feel very grateful for all your talks.
Thank you xxx
I have been moving through waves of grief and unworthiness in relation to a homosexual romantic situation in my life that turned into narcissistic manipulation, homophobia, and deception that there was never a chance for us from the other person, triggering within me this deep sense of not being good enough. this story is ancient for me, as a feminine person in a male body. i tried to bring compassion and awareness to the sensations of unworthiness, heartbreak, and self-hatred — but i can still feel myself rejecting it. something within me is needing to grieve, and grieve, and grieve. i have moments where the love and compassion is accepted, but there’s a resounding depression and disappointment from being treated this way without any accountability or apology. it is systemically oppressive, and a denial of truth, while i chose to be vulnerable and sincere about my feelings. i know my compassion for him can come from an understanding that he too feels unworthy and self-hating, but that will take time, because right now i need to feel the feelings of being abused, and harmed.
My feeling overall was tightness in the abdomen mostly from negative feelings “experienced/learned in the past”. However recently I have faced new and trying experiences which have resulted in some anxiety, but to my relief no self-criticism. I am working on this to maintain and grow a good sense of self as I continue this latest journey.
Thank you Tara, I am learning to be kind to me. I notice it really helps in the ever changing situations I find myself in. I have started saying “it’s ok” a lot. It’s changing how I think. I notice if I’m aware enough to catch myself and bring love and kindness to myself I seem to handle the situation better, it feels more true. It’s ongoing, but I thank you for helping to shine the light on what I’ve got, my true essence. ?
I have recently left a facility to treat mental illness. I have come out feeling fairly destabilised and not myself although much better than than when I get as first admitted. I feel a lot of shame and wish to put this aside to deal with some physical health issues and return to my creative pursuits both through work and outside of work.
I know it isn’t intentional but I am reacting badly to my partner’s surprise and criticism of my slightly out of whack adjustment back in to the ‘real world’. It’s automatic to me to set the bar high and judge myself as never being able to achieve what I think is the ‘best and correct way’ to reach the desired outcome come. Kindness is reserved for others. Thank you for these talks.
Thank you for this kind teaching.
I acknowledged this tendancy for self blame and also self sabotage.
Ability to stay with that in kindness softened my chest- heart region and melted the separated parts of me.
The realization that I know it’s not me. That this behavior that I’m struggling with is a result of stress and therefore I must be compassionate with myself. I shouldn’t add more stress even though I want to stop the unhealthy behavior. But I need to do this through ways of releasing stress, finding rest and relaxation so that my nervous system can have time to respond verses react and learn to be calm again.
Thank you for this teaching. Tears, tears and more. I forget to be kind to myself especially when I most need that. I’m insecure about what other’s think of me and I realize I can start by thinking well of myself.
I appreciate your telling your story.
You are so loving I realized how isolated I have been this last year (Sad) and yet I felt your loving kindness pouring over me.
We all need kindness and love to feel peaceful.
A deep, deep sadness wanting to have self care and compassion for where I am at this moment, but not knowing how or if I could accept where I am at this time.
I felt an immediate sense of relief… my body wasn’t so contracted and tight. Also I felt a little lighter within… as if I could begin to open my heart to the ‘me’ I am in constant battle with.
I experienced some feeling of relief and relaxation and then a clenching – that part of me needing kindness does not fully trust the kindness being offered although it very much wants to be treated with kindness.
When I allowed myself to feel the experience and bring kindness to it the power and “weight” of it loosened it’s hold on me. It was still present but it lost it’s power.
I experienced a sense of ease and calm
When I attempted to bring kindness to the strong swirling feelings I had about myself, kindness seemed strange and foreign and didn’t fit in.
I felt an openness in my heart, a softening. Tears arising, but no crying (yet). I have experienced a strong dislike towards some of my reactions in the last few days and a feeling of shame because even though knowing better ways to deal with stress I was reacting in harmful ways too often. The video reminded me of taking a pause while posing those powerful questions to myself. Thank you.
When I asked if I could be with this with kindness, the answer was “yes” but I felt how deeply I feel the need for more of it.
Thank you for your wisdom and your honesty which gives us all courage to introspect and feel ok to look at ourselves in truth and authenticity.
ST UK
I felt my fear and then when I opened to it, it lessened. I am so grateful for your teaching and sharing. I learn so much from “wounded healers” who teach and who share with humility their own struggles and what they have learned.
Blessings to you and all of us on this journey.
I have named my nit-picky self critic the “can’t sing choir”… when I tune into the voices I hear in- harmonious noise. It makes me laugh, and I invite them to leave like in the old gong show. I watch them file out in their self important way. I try to watch with gentle humor and kindness.
Unfortunately, I also experience the “Unholy Choir” still haunting me from my traumatic childhood. This, I’m not so good at. I’m very fearful of this inner critic and tend to let it run rough shod over who I want to be. I am trying to stand up to this voice. It’s hard to ” be with it”. I’m working on it.???
I find it impossible to treat myself with kindness. I feel unworthy and unwanted. I treat others with compassion.
I find it impossible to treat myself with kindness. I feel unworthy and unwanted. I treat others with compassion.
During meditation I feel my higher self come and comfort me. It is sustaining the state of mind I struggle with. The flicker of that voice saying, you are the problem.
I felt the tight feeling in my chest loosen a bit and I was able to breathe a little bit better.
i felt a tension ease in my shoulders
then my dog barked and i felt resentful
I love how the universe works on our behalf. Embarrassingly, last night I had two margaritas and it brought up some deep-seated insecurities. I kept repeating to my husband, I gotta be me I gotta be me… and what I meant was I long for deep relationships but sometimes I feel like people have an aversion to me. So then I tried to please them, that doesn’t work. I just have to be who I am, someone who loves beautiful things and is blessed with them, someone who loves gardening and cooking and present them in a beautiful way and host wonderful parties. I am blessed to be able to travel to wonderful places. I shouldn’t have to shrink back and not have people over and not cook beautiful things I just have to love who I am and who I am blessed to be and then I will attract people who will appreciate it. I have to be true to who I am.
I started crying. I was sorry for not caring. It felt like nobody ever cared about how I feel, including myself.
My partner Cecelia and I have spent quite a while discussing your presentation… the things we unconsciously hide – now a bit clearer, the things we consciously push down… all the ways we knowingly or unknowingly keep ourselves from being all that we can be. Thank you for your words.
I felt some softening towards self-blame and resentment but I also felt as though I was running up against a very thick wall. I feel as though I need more time and practice to bring kindness to my feelings of unworthiness.
Tears flowed . I felt acceptance of self once I acknowledged my feelings of being scared and alone during this unfamiliar time. (Pandemic)
I felt a wave of relaxation when I offered myself kindness.
It feels foreign and I’m not sure I’m succeeding at it. Either way it doesn’t last. It’s so brief and doesn’t seem to create any lasting effect that I’m so desperate to feel. That I’m ok.
When I asked myself what was happening, I immediately started to cry, because I identified with everything you were saying about feeling unworthy and not good enough. To show kindness, I spoke to my inner child and told her that I loved her and that she was not only good enough, but amazing. I felt myself relax and calm down.
Possibility, hope
Thank you for your invitation… I needed to be reminded again today. To be kind to myself. I’ve practiced “being with” so often … and the experience when I’m truly able to allow myself to STAY there… is amazing, I experience great peace deep inside. And yet, often, I cut short the experience… allowing the judgment of self or the other to distract me. What helps me then is to fully embrace myself with all of that and then,, to let go… I want to share a practice I’ve developed through the years for myself and my clients or spiritual directees. I call it NOEL, which in French is the celebration of the birth of Jesus. NOEL – rebirth… Name it, Own it, Embrace yourself fully, and Let go – surrender.
Thank you
Mercedes Rojo
I experienced a sense of guilt and shame for putting myself ahead of others. I’ve been conditioned to believe that you should put other people before yourself. When I think about putting myself first it makes me feel like I’m being selfish and/or ungrateful.
I cried
I experienced a myriad of all the things/feelings I hate about myself. It felt like they were going to explode out of me. My whole body felt overwhelmed and full of nauseating bilious matter. As I tried to extend compassion to myself I noticed a very slight softening in my body. However, the thoughts kept intruding and sabotaging any feeling of softening.
I found it easier with the least emotional fears and anxieties and I could sense my own essence ….. but I didn’t want to stay with the deep fear.
I so look forward to your next video and feel very grateful for all your talks.
Thank you xxx
I have been moving through waves of grief and unworthiness in relation to a homosexual romantic situation in my life that turned into narcissistic manipulation, homophobia, and deception that there was never a chance for us from the other person, triggering within me this deep sense of not being good enough. this story is ancient for me, as a feminine person in a male body. i tried to bring compassion and awareness to the sensations of unworthiness, heartbreak, and self-hatred — but i can still feel myself rejecting it. something within me is needing to grieve, and grieve, and grieve. i have moments where the love and compassion is accepted, but there’s a resounding depression and disappointment from being treated this way without any accountability or apology. it is systemically oppressive, and a denial of truth, while i chose to be vulnerable and sincere about my feelings. i know my compassion for him can come from an understanding that he too feels unworthy and self-hating, but that will take time, because right now i need to feel the feelings of being abused, and harmed.
More awareness. Compassion.
I got more open, more comfortable, and also more alive
My feeling overall was tightness in the abdomen mostly from negative feelings “experienced/learned in the past”. However recently I have faced new and trying experiences which have resulted in some anxiety, but to my relief no self-criticism. I am working on this to maintain and grow a good sense of self as I continue this latest journey.
Thank you Tara, I am learning to be kind to me. I notice it really helps in the ever changing situations I find myself in. I have started saying “it’s ok” a lot. It’s changing how I think. I notice if I’m aware enough to catch myself and bring love and kindness to myself I seem to handle the situation better, it feels more true. It’s ongoing, but I thank you for helping to shine the light on what I’ve got, my true essence. ?
I have recently left a facility to treat mental illness. I have come out feeling fairly destabilised and not myself although much better than than when I get as first admitted. I feel a lot of shame and wish to put this aside to deal with some physical health issues and return to my creative pursuits both through work and outside of work.
I know it isn’t intentional but I am reacting badly to my partner’s surprise and criticism of my slightly out of whack adjustment back in to the ‘real world’. It’s automatic to me to set the bar high and judge myself as never being able to achieve what I think is the ‘best and correct way’ to reach the desired outcome come. Kindness is reserved for others. Thank you for these talks.
Thank you for this kind teaching.
I acknowledged this tendancy for self blame and also self sabotage.
Ability to stay with that in kindness softened my chest- heart region and melted the separated parts of me.
The realization that I know it’s not me. That this behavior that I’m struggling with is a result of stress and therefore I must be compassionate with myself. I shouldn’t add more stress even though I want to stop the unhealthy behavior. But I need to do this through ways of releasing stress, finding rest and relaxation so that my nervous system can have time to respond verses react and learn to be calm again.
Thank you for this teaching. Tears, tears and more. I forget to be kind to myself especially when I most need that. I’m insecure about what other’s think of me and I realize I can start by thinking well of myself.
I appreciate your telling your story.
Thank you Tara.
Val Columbia
You are so loving I realized how isolated I have been this last year (Sad) and yet I felt your loving kindness pouring over me.
We all need kindness and love to feel peaceful.
A deep, deep sadness wanting to have self care and compassion for where I am at this moment, but not knowing how or if I could accept where I am at this time.
I felt an immediate sense of relief… my body wasn’t so contracted and tight. Also I felt a little lighter within… as if I could begin to open my heart to the ‘me’ I am in constant battle with.
Thank you Tara, I find your words of wisdom very powerful.
Jean
It softened.
I experienced some feeling of relief and relaxation and then a clenching – that part of me needing kindness does not fully trust the kindness being offered although it very much wants to be treated with kindness.
I felt the need to place my hands over my chest to feel my heart… I felt relieved
I felt compassion to my self.
What can I say….. I burst into tears, and I know that says so much. Thank you.
Can I be with this.. with kindness?
No. I cant be with this. I have spent all my life trying not to be with ‘this’ because I cant bear it.
I felt a lightness and as I put my hand on my heart, a warmth without having to have my fear and lack having to leave.
I had a little to work to get my breath back to normal. And my eyes got very soft and teary, overflowing.
When I allowed myself to feel the experience and bring kindness to it the power and “weight” of it loosened it’s hold on me. It was still present but it lost it’s power.
I felt a calmness and peace with bringing kindness to my experience.
Tears … a sense of sadness, hopelessness …
Kindness brought some smoothing, a kind of caress.