I felt a softening and opening to where I have been in my stance towards myself and realized that truly I am not stuck there. That the field of being is so much larger than my fears of constriction. And a sense of compassion and patience. “Success” is so conditional.
When I was able to bring awareness to my feelings, I felt a momentary sense of peace and stillness. Oh, to be able to feel like that most of the time. I realized that the things I say to myself, I would never say to anyone else. Being my own best friend is a goal that have have a lot of work to do to achieve.
It has always been difficult for me to understand where I went wrong or why I am not as close to my loved ones as I wanted and yearned to be. I am in the helping profession and help a lot of people, but have difficulty getting close to my own. As I ponder about this and try to be kinder to myself, l feel a little better, but it is still like being lost!
I feel so fortunate. I am a long term Vipassana meditator, and it has helped immeasurably. What I found inside was a feeling of deep peace and gratitude.
When I got in touch with my feelings of unworthiness, then asking myself if I could be with them with kindness, I felt lighter as if I was letting go of something. But right after that came the same feeling of unworthiness because I felt I was simply ignoring the reality of unworthiness rather than letting it go in a healthy way.
I would not have sent the negative message to the company who sent my package to my billing address, not my shipping which as delayed the package for about 4 days. Oh well. I didn’t need to emphasize the negativity.
Thanks Tara! I am inspired by your words. I love how you quote from many different faith leaders. I have struggled with caring what other’s have thought of me and wanting to please and solve everyone’s problems for years! When I think of issues of trouble in my life now ,and then practice allowing kindness to envelope them, (although sometimes it is quite a mental challenge) I feel a sense of peace. Thank you for this valuable tool!
Thank you! I am a very best friend for many people in my life. I care about them and I love work with people. Sometime people hurt me, and I think I deserved that, just because I forgot to love myself and to live in friendship and acceptance with my true “self”.
This exercise gave me space to observe moodiness and restlessness instead of being sucked into these feelings.
Bringing kindness towards myself helps me to wake up and be more conscious. Maybe there is a totally new experience possible instead of reacting to moods & feelings.
Also, for the first time in my life I am interested in journaling. I’ve always run away from opportunities to write!
I CAN be w/my own sadness! And I can give comforting words/feelings to it & that calms me down! Then I can move forward w/lighter energy! Thanks, Tara!
Tears. I’ve been here before. Why do I keep slipping back into the feeling of unworthiness? the unforgiving nature of being so unkind to myself. I live with chronic pain, and I live with so much self criticism. I felt very tired when I tried to bring kindness to the terror and self-disgust I’m experiencing today.
I felt shaky and anxious and through Tara’s words about being kind to oneself I thought how can I help myself feel better. I decided sitting with the emotion was key to beginning my transformation.
I felt the utter shame, and listed all of the evidence, internal and external, to validate my uselessness. I was not able to bring kindness, just the repetitive cycle of self-loathing.
I have been experiencing depression off and on since my teenage years. I began withdrawing from people and responsibility since then, and it has escalated into numerous hospitalizations and suicide attempts. I have been so out of touch with my feelings that it has turned into self loathing and more withdrawing. I have an amazing husband that has stood by me for almost 33 years of marriage and have 2 beautiful daughters that are happy and emotionally healthy despite it all. I credit my husband for this, though I know I have something to do with it too. I have a hard time complimenting myself and receiving compliments. Over the years I have developed a strong internal critic in my mind and it’s hard to change it. Also I don’t do change well. I felt some hope when watching this video. I believe I need to begin to interact with others and start taking a chance and open up to trust others and be vulnerable in sharing my experiences and look to help others in some way.
I am not able to be kind to myself. I continue ti find my flaws and feel that I am less than, comparing mysrlf to other people.
I struggle liking myself and seeing my accomplishments.
I felt comfort and release when I was able to bring care and awareness. Just acknowledging what was going on inside me brought a sense of permission to let go.
The experience of bringing kindness occurred, not during this video but at anther time. I was feeling sad, victimized and angry for that feeling. Bringing awareness to those feelings, breathing the kindness into myself, brought the release of the anger, and helped me to sit with and recognize that I am not a victim. The sadness resolved, I felt lighter and subsequently a conversation I had not looked forward to was actually very lovely. ?
Hi Tara , firstly I wish to say you have brought so much to my life over the last 15 years when a friend recommended your first book…. Along with Pema Chodron I would not be alive today without all your talks videos and books
And today when I listened to this particular talk I saw something that has been staring me in the face for soooo long my own trance of unworthiness and although I have worked on my self worth for so long you spoke to me today in a different way or maybe I just heard it differently either way I’m so grateful and wanted you to know that ❤️ janerichardson31@hotmail.com
A tug of war. The new way of thinking felt like a fog dissipating and going into problem-solving mode, while the old way was still freaking out about lost income.
Developing these new neuronal pathways takes A LOT of practice! It is very difficult to even recognize the ‘old’ thoughts at first. The three steps to freeing ourselves are really effective! Thank you for breaking down these ways of thinking and helping us examine each part carefully and mindfully.
As I went inward, I noticed that I’d become estranged from this man with whom I had not spent much time recently as I neglected my meditation practice, neglected my inward time alone with myself, and realized how ™ you lack of self compassion was also influencing my ability to interact lovingly with people with whom I had been in opposition.
I softened, and found that I wanted to take more care of myself one my opponents, as well.
Tears. So much deep sadness and loneliness. Guilt and shame about the realization that I have been blaming myself for my children’s difficulties in life for 20 years now. When I cultivate mercy for myself, I very quickly redirect to others that I think need it.
Pamela Matsuda Friar says
I felt a softening and opening to where I have been in my stance towards myself and realized that truly I am not stuck there. That the field of being is so much larger than my fears of constriction. And a sense of compassion and patience. “Success” is so conditional.
Anonymous says
I felt surrounded and held. Comfort.
Tasha Pera says
I also want to thank you, Tara, for these videos. Such a kind gift!!
Toni says
When I brought compassion to my feelings of sadness and fear, I felt heard and more saddened.
Tasha Pera says
I could feel a space being created in my heart and it seemed to neutralize the pain I was experiencing.
Susan says
A bit of needed ease…
anonymous other says
Momentary sense of internal space
Carol Sloinne says
When I was able to bring awareness to my feelings, I felt a momentary sense of peace and stillness. Oh, to be able to feel like that most of the time. I realized that the things I say to myself, I would never say to anyone else. Being my own best friend is a goal that have have a lot of work to do to achieve.
Anonymous says
Just being aware enough to ask the questions begins the process of befriending.
Jennifer says
Thank you for this beautiful series at a time when the world really needs this. I felt a tremendous sense of calm and openness listening to you.
Anonymous says
It has always been difficult for me to understand where I went wrong or why I am not as close to my loved ones as I wanted and yearned to be. I am in the helping profession and help a lot of people, but have difficulty getting close to my own. As I ponder about this and try to be kinder to myself, l feel a little better, but it is still like being lost!
Anonymous says
thank you
Kel says
Initial thought….”We’ll see about this…” Then a sense of relief as if I was self mothering w/ mother present in me.
John van Liew says
The freedom that vulnerability brings is in itself revealing of truer being
Judith Weiler says
I feel so fortunate. I am a long term Vipassana meditator, and it has helped immeasurably. What I found inside was a feeling of deep peace and gratitude.
Annie cinemannie@gmail.com says
I feel resistance ??
Anonymous says
When I got in touch with my feelings of unworthiness, then asking myself if I could be with them with kindness, I felt lighter as if I was letting go of something. But right after that came the same feeling of unworthiness because I felt I was simply ignoring the reality of unworthiness rather than letting it go in a healthy way.
Patricia Hauser says
I would not have sent the negative message to the company who sent my package to my billing address, not my shipping which as delayed the package for about 4 days. Oh well. I didn’t need to emphasize the negativity.
Anonymous says
Wondering if I was going to be able to do what was asked. A feeling of suspense in my stomach. Wanted to cry when adding “care” to this.
melinda wilde says
Thanks Tara! I am inspired by your words. I love how you quote from many different faith leaders. I have struggled with caring what other’s have thought of me and wanting to please and solve everyone’s problems for years! When I think of issues of trouble in my life now ,and then practice allowing kindness to envelope them, (although sometimes it is quite a mental challenge) I feel a sense of peace. Thank you for this valuable tool!
Monica Dutcas says
Thank you! I am a very best friend for many people in my life. I care about them and I love work with people. Sometime people hurt me, and I think I deserved that, just because I forgot to love myself and to live in friendship and acceptance with my true “self”.
Moira McRae says
This exercise gave me space to observe moodiness and restlessness instead of being sucked into these feelings.
Bringing kindness towards myself helps me to wake up and be more conscious. Maybe there is a totally new experience possible instead of reacting to moods & feelings.
Also, for the first time in my life I am interested in journaling. I’ve always run away from opportunities to write!
Deborah Temple says
I CAN be w/my own sadness! And I can give comforting words/feelings to it & that calms me down! Then I can move forward w/lighter energy! Thanks, Tara!
Bonnie says
Tears. I’ve been here before. Why do I keep slipping back into the feeling of unworthiness? the unforgiving nature of being so unkind to myself. I live with chronic pain, and I live with so much self criticism. I felt very tired when I tried to bring kindness to the terror and self-disgust I’m experiencing today.
Michael Cox says
I was actually able to do it. That is a great concept – Be kind to yourself!
Anonymous says
I felt shaky and anxious and through Tara’s words about being kind to oneself I thought how can I help myself feel better. I decided sitting with the emotion was key to beginning my transformation.
Bette Butler says
Very over whelmed and lonely. Too much stress.
Todd Rigg Carriero says
I felt the utter shame, and listed all of the evidence, internal and external, to validate my uselessness. I was not able to bring kindness, just the repetitive cycle of self-loathing.
Michael Dunne says
Thankfully, a calm acceptance
angela lunz says
i’D LIKE TO THINK i ALWAYS WORK KINDLY IF NOT ULTIMATELY HONEST, ESPECIALLY WITH MY SPOUSE OF 49 YRS.
Anonymous says
I felt an escape of urgency. The frustration of being stuck in a situation transformed into stillness.
Anonymous says
I have been experiencing depression off and on since my teenage years. I began withdrawing from people and responsibility since then, and it has escalated into numerous hospitalizations and suicide attempts. I have been so out of touch with my feelings that it has turned into self loathing and more withdrawing. I have an amazing husband that has stood by me for almost 33 years of marriage and have 2 beautiful daughters that are happy and emotionally healthy despite it all. I credit my husband for this, though I know I have something to do with it too. I have a hard time complimenting myself and receiving compliments. Over the years I have developed a strong internal critic in my mind and it’s hard to change it. Also I don’t do change well. I felt some hope when watching this video. I believe I need to begin to interact with others and start taking a chance and open up to trust others and be vulnerable in sharing my experiences and look to help others in some way.
Stella Souza Banasiak says
I am not able to be kind to myself. I continue ti find my flaws and feel that I am less than, comparing mysrlf to other people.
I struggle liking myself and seeing my accomplishments.
Deb Aubrey says
I felt an increased sense of patience and compassion; feelings quite foreign to my over-achieving, perfectionistic mode of being.
Daisy Williams says
I love listening to you…your knowledge, sincerity! You are an amazing teacher !!!!
Rachel Hellums says
I felt comfort and release when I was able to bring care and awareness. Just acknowledging what was going on inside me brought a sense of permission to let go.
Joyce Ashley says
The experience of bringing kindness occurred, not during this video but at anther time. I was feeling sad, victimized and angry for that feeling. Bringing awareness to those feelings, breathing the kindness into myself, brought the release of the anger, and helped me to sit with and recognize that I am not a victim. The sadness resolved, I felt lighter and subsequently a conversation I had not looked forward to was actually very lovely. ?
Jane Richardson says
Hi Tara , firstly I wish to say you have brought so much to my life over the last 15 years when a friend recommended your first book…. Along with Pema Chodron I would not be alive today without all your talks videos and books
And today when I listened to this particular talk I saw something that has been staring me in the face for soooo long my own trance of unworthiness and although I have worked on my self worth for so long you spoke to me today in a different way or maybe I just heard it differently either way I’m so grateful and wanted you to know that ❤️ janerichardson31@hotmail.com
Barb Crosby says
I thought, I will practice this starting today ?
Barb Crosby says
I enjoyed Tara; she has a way about her that invites one in.
I want to send to at least one of my clients.
Waiting for the next one!
Thank you, Barb love
Ginny says
Thank you for this video. Self compassion helps me remember that I am a child of the Divine, and that I am loved.
zou zouzouda says
great sense of love
thank you i like it
Jackie M says
A tug of war. The new way of thinking felt like a fog dissipating and going into problem-solving mode, while the old way was still freaking out about lost income.
anonymous says
Resistance and guilt
M says
Im struggling with finding my voice when communicating financial concerns with a new roommate.
CHERISH YUKE says
I found an immense sense of openness when I brought kindness to what was happening within. Thank you, Tara.
Lor A says
My whole experience shifted from ‘oh no, there is so much resistance, uneasiness, fullness in my body’ to ‘it’s all okay
Anne H says
Developing these new neuronal pathways takes A LOT of practice! It is very difficult to even recognize the ‘old’ thoughts at first. The three steps to freeing ourselves are really effective! Thank you for breaking down these ways of thinking and helping us examine each part carefully and mindfully.
Gary Tribble says
As I went inward, I noticed that I’d become estranged from this man with whom I had not spent much time recently as I neglected my meditation practice, neglected my inward time alone with myself, and realized how ™ you lack of self compassion was also influencing my ability to interact lovingly with people with whom I had been in opposition.
I softened, and found that I wanted to take more care of myself one my opponents, as well.
Anonymous says
Tears. So much deep sadness and loneliness. Guilt and shame about the realization that I have been blaming myself for my children’s difficulties in life for 20 years now. When I cultivate mercy for myself, I very quickly redirect to others that I think need it.