I didn’t have any strong feeling, but was rather curious, although a bit skeptical.
When looking at the skeptical part and asked “Can I be with this with kindness”, I felt that it was ok to be skeptical. And the skeptical part of me felt acknowledged and didn’t need to defend itself and become negative, but just curious.
Interesting experience for me.
I felt more peace, more grounded. I found myself hitting replay to let the message seep in deeper. The tight spot in my neck released. My breathing was more relaxed. Thank you, Tara.
When i brought compassion and understanding into a sensation that was confusion, irritation, upset with my self ~ I felt release and relief and felt a voice saying “You don’t need to figure this out”.
I find it hard to separate whether these feelings of unworthiness, undeserving, and lack of compassion toward myself are internally driven or fed by the external forces and situations I’m in. I feel I’m a good person who works hard to help others but constantly find myself doubting whether I am who I think I am because of the perceived judgement and attitudes of a few around me.
This video just intensified those thoughts and has me back in the spiral of doubt.
I am turning 50 this year and my relationship with myself goes back and forth of self loathing, severe loneliness (I am married but don’t have children), not so much insecurities but seeing my self age and change I struggle with being my best. I am working on my inner self rather than just outer self. I am also caring for two aging parents one, my father, in a nursing home locked up in severe loneliness and then my mother who is living on her own and having her struggles. I see humans as all one and I am really confident in my metta practice but am too harsh with myself. We live in a much more angry world than ever before in my lifetime so when things around me seem afire or out of control I send compassion to others but I am missing it myself. And I feel drained.
As it always happens,I needed to hear these simple words of wisdom to move forward on my healing journey.
As I am facing again a low point that is opening a new opportunity to examine and go inward”what is going on” and can I sit with it or be with it”
Where the magic words and transformational for me today.
Thank you for your beautiful delivery and support.
Aviva.
I felt a little bit lighter, and can breathe a bit easier. Reminded there’s a difference from being lonely and being alone. That difference is self compassion.
Sometimes I find it possible to bring compassion to my unwanted emotions and they seem to dissolve but some other times I just feel a strong resistance towards the emotion and I’m unable to welcome it and when that happens the emotion seem to grow and grow and the emotion can get pretty scary and overwhelming and at those times I feel very helpless and get this narrative in my head that something is seriously wrong with me and can never be fixed
Uncertainty in how to do it sincerely and effectively. Growing up with a very critical mother, I found myself repeating the cycle by “marrying her” in metaphorical terms. My husband was like her in many ways. So that core belief of self-blame, judgment and blaming others and feelings of unworthiness lingered and lingers to this day.
I know demonstrating compassion, loving kindness through service to others is the fundamental task we, as humans on the planet, now and always have been commissioned to do….that’s our ultimate mission or purpose….but how and to whom?
The feelings of anxiety lessened, and I relaxed more. I had more ability to get on with what I needed to do, as opposed to just being “stuck” in the anxious feelings.
I cried. And I realized that even though I prize kindness in others as the defining virtue I look for in all my relationships- I have failed to give it to myself. Now, “Yes! You deserve kindness!” I told myself. Thank you for this, Tara. Your own story touched my heart too.
Dear Tara,
This practice is most powerful, one that I will do again and again as I and my clients grow towards self-compassion.
I just stepped out of Sesshin where there was a ‘grand opening’ of deep awareness. Awareness of what is ALWAYS present and awareness of how I have learned so well to block that awareness.
Earlier today I read an article by Sharon Salsberg of her conversation with the Dalai Lama about unworthiness. His response to her helped me realize that how this is from my upbringing & our society; always striving, not good enough, work harder, you can do better… and so on.
Thank you for sharing ‘The Wings’ of Mindfulness and Compassion, I have needed to hear this again and again and PLEASE BE KIND!
Your questions to self are most pertinent! They will be on my alter.
I felt my body relaxing, a smile came to my lips and I especially experienced a huge relief and felt a gentleness to that small little girl who abides within me.
I have used meditation for years to guide me and give me self awareness. It helped me in so many ways to work with clients, to quit becoming defensive when doing supervision, and to feel better about myself at the end of a difficult day. It has given me many insights that I would not have gotten over the years, strengthened my sense of intuition and guiding my direction. I ask clients to always use it to start the day with it to expand their awareness and ask for the day to be fruitful with new insights, and end the day with thanksgiving for what worked well. Thank you for bringing this to everyone.
I felt like I’ve been hitting a wall recently. Filled with anger and anxiety. I’m deep in the underworld in my awakening process. Heading deep wounds and learning my archetypes and understanding and tuning them in my shadow work. This has brought me peace and support. I noticed I had taken a turn yesterday when I started asking my self how I feel instead of going on a rant in my own head. It’s helped tremendously. So not when I sat with my feelings and asked myself can I sit with this with kindness, it offered me support and peace. Thank you for this tool. I’m very grateful .
at first I felt a deep sense of sadness. when I asked am I willing to be with this? I felt an immediate sense of not being alone. It was a knowing that I am there for myself in loving kindness.
It’s difficult to not adding judgement to my unworthiness and useless self. But this is the key, i know.
I didn’t have any strong feeling, but was rather curious, although a bit skeptical.
When looking at the skeptical part and asked “Can I be with this with kindness”, I felt that it was ok to be skeptical. And the skeptical part of me felt acknowledged and didn’t need to defend itself and become negative, but just curious.
Interesting experience for me.
The ocean image brought it home.
We are it.
Dissatisfaction. Not self-hate, but a feeling that I’m not living up to who I can be, who I am called to be.
I felt more peace, more grounded. I found myself hitting replay to let the message seep in deeper. The tight spot in my neck released. My breathing was more relaxed. Thank you, Tara.
The grip on my self obsession began to loosen. The suffocating hold i am often so convinced is ‘my natural state’ faded ever so slightly
When i brought compassion and understanding into a sensation that was confusion, irritation, upset with my self ~ I felt release and relief and felt a voice saying “You don’t need to figure this out”.
Sadness, embarrassment, shame
A sense of calm, and compassion for myself and a sense that I could handle that uncomfortable feeling.
I find it hard to separate whether these feelings of unworthiness, undeserving, and lack of compassion toward myself are internally driven or fed by the external forces and situations I’m in. I feel I’m a good person who works hard to help others but constantly find myself doubting whether I am who I think I am because of the perceived judgement and attitudes of a few around me.
This video just intensified those thoughts and has me back in the spiral of doubt.
It softened
I felt self accusations.
I was experiencing anxiety and tightness in my forehead and jaw. When I brought kindness in I immediately felt tension release from those areas.
A feeling of security and groundedness within myself…
wow…Awesome
Thanks
I am turning 50 this year and my relationship with myself goes back and forth of self loathing, severe loneliness (I am married but don’t have children), not so much insecurities but seeing my self age and change I struggle with being my best. I am working on my inner self rather than just outer self. I am also caring for two aging parents one, my father, in a nursing home locked up in severe loneliness and then my mother who is living on her own and having her struggles. I see humans as all one and I am really confident in my metta practice but am too harsh with myself. We live in a much more angry world than ever before in my lifetime so when things around me seem afire or out of control I send compassion to others but I am missing it myself. And I feel drained.
As it always happens,I needed to hear these simple words of wisdom to move forward on my healing journey.
As I am facing again a low point that is opening a new opportunity to examine and go inward”what is going on” and can I sit with it or be with it”
Where the magic words and transformational for me today.
Thank you for your beautiful delivery and support.
Aviva.
At first I melted and agreed but seconds later I began to be too analytical .. the brain kicked in!
Interesting
Haven’t tried the steps yet
It softened the inside. Thank you.
a softening within that leaves room for both light & shadow
a softening within that leaves room for both light & shadow
I felt a little bit lighter, and can breathe a bit easier. Reminded there’s a difference from being lonely and being alone. That difference is self compassion.
It kind of softened the internal feeling
I felt very empty and unworthy.I immediately started worrying over things I should do,not have to,but a too do list ti distract myself.
Can’t stop crying.
Thank you.
I felt a feeling of expansion rather than contraction.
Christ, my true friend, teaching me how to befriend myself.
This was so helpful thank you
Something changes. I felt a warm sensation all around my breast.
Feeling of strength and acceptance.
This is a critical issue for many people! Worthwhile to put forth for each person to look inside for this often shadow companion.
Sometimes I find it possible to bring compassion to my unwanted emotions and they seem to dissolve but some other times I just feel a strong resistance towards the emotion and I’m unable to welcome it and when that happens the emotion seem to grow and grow and the emotion can get pretty scary and overwhelming and at those times I feel very helpless and get this narrative in my head that something is seriously wrong with me and can never be fixed
There was a softening of the item and some gold light around it.
I felt hope. Hope that I could conquer the constant reappearance of the trance of uneorthiness
Uncertainty in how to do it sincerely and effectively. Growing up with a very critical mother, I found myself repeating the cycle by “marrying her” in metaphorical terms. My husband was like her in many ways. So that core belief of self-blame, judgment and blaming others and feelings of unworthiness lingered and lingers to this day.
I know demonstrating compassion, loving kindness through service to others is the fundamental task we, as humans on the planet, now and always have been commissioned to do….that’s our ultimate mission or purpose….but how and to whom?
The feelings of anxiety lessened, and I relaxed more. I had more ability to get on with what I needed to do, as opposed to just being “stuck” in the anxious feelings.
I cried. And I realized that even though I prize kindness in others as the defining virtue I look for in all my relationships- I have failed to give it to myself. Now, “Yes! You deserve kindness!” I told myself. Thank you for this, Tara. Your own story touched my heart too.
I accepted it, told myself it was okay to be this way. From that I felt I was alright in the moment
Thank you. Thank you.
Dear Tara,
This practice is most powerful, one that I will do again and again as I and my clients grow towards self-compassion.
I just stepped out of Sesshin where there was a ‘grand opening’ of deep awareness. Awareness of what is ALWAYS present and awareness of how I have learned so well to block that awareness.
Earlier today I read an article by Sharon Salsberg of her conversation with the Dalai Lama about unworthiness. His response to her helped me realize that how this is from my upbringing & our society; always striving, not good enough, work harder, you can do better… and so on.
Thank you for sharing ‘The Wings’ of Mindfulness and Compassion, I have needed to hear this again and again and PLEASE BE KIND!
Your questions to self are most pertinent! They will be on my alter.
Love, Only Love,
Calmness
Truly a sense of relief not to carry that particular baggage in such an unhelpful way!
I felt my body relaxing, a smile came to my lips and I especially experienced a huge relief and felt a gentleness to that small little girl who abides within me.
Thank you Self Compassion and Self Care
Lois Malloy
I have used meditation for years to guide me and give me self awareness. It helped me in so many ways to work with clients, to quit becoming defensive when doing supervision, and to feel better about myself at the end of a difficult day. It has given me many insights that I would not have gotten over the years, strengthened my sense of intuition and guiding my direction. I ask clients to always use it to start the day with it to expand their awareness and ask for the day to be fruitful with new insights, and end the day with thanksgiving for what worked well. Thank you for bringing this to everyone.
I felt uncomfortable at first but then a feeling of spaciousness and some freeing.
I felt sadness but strange sense of determination too.
I felt like I’ve been hitting a wall recently. Filled with anger and anxiety. I’m deep in the underworld in my awakening process. Heading deep wounds and learning my archetypes and understanding and tuning them in my shadow work. This has brought me peace and support. I noticed I had taken a turn yesterday when I started asking my self how I feel instead of going on a rant in my own head. It’s helped tremendously. So not when I sat with my feelings and asked myself can I sit with this with kindness, it offered me support and peace. Thank you for this tool. I’m very grateful .
at first I felt a deep sense of sadness. when I asked am I willing to be with this? I felt an immediate sense of not being alone. It was a knowing that I am there for myself in loving kindness.