I gave my wounded self a loving hug, to reassure, to let the part of myself in pain know I am loved, that I’m lovable, I’m ok. The type of hug and words of affection I give freely to others I finally gave to me.
I had a sense of softening towards my self and started to touch a deep sadness that I had neglected this internal self often in my life. I have realised before that I am often motivated by negative self feedback and that I’m critical of others that held mask the feelings of inadequacy that I feel underneath my presented self.
The feeling of emptiness/lonliness got stronger at first. Tears turned into sobbing, but I felt safe. I’m aware of the knowledge that the pain I felt/feel is temporary and that there is love. It’s hard to put into words, but your phrase of “my heart still ached, but it felt lighter” rings true. The pain deepened, but there was also awareness that it would/will end. That it’s OK. That I’m OK.
It required both intention and effort to focus inward and allow myself to bring kindness. When I felt that this was finally accomplished there was a much-appreciated feeling of calm.
When I sunk into the feelings, they were swirling and storming like a hurricane. When I offered compassion, the swirling slowed, pieces broke off and were entering in the compassion. The colors shifted from hot to cooler tones. Wow. That was helpful. But the evidence! Next step please –
I started sobbing. The softness of the loving, compassionate presence gave me permission to allow the ugly stuff to have company. The shame is so strong though and the pain feels overpowering. I want the shame and ugliness to go away. The compassionate presence just sits with it and allows it be as it is. I see my resistance, this war within me so clearly. One side can be compassionate, while the other resists and condemns….
It didn’t work. I feel so desperately sad after suffering from a painful chronic illness for 30 years I just feel I’m missing out on so much potential joy. I just cancelled going to the opera tonight because I am suffering pain and great sadness because someone close to me keeps telling me I’m developing problems with my mind, yet I think I’m trying so hard.
As you might have guessed, I am my own harshest critic. I use meditation and mindfulness practice daily, and it has helped. Offering myself compassion is key to being centered and balanced in a difficult world.
Interestingly I have had this experience today as I felt hurt by my supervisor not supporting a talk I was giving and I felt I am qualified to do this but I felt from her response I may not be ? I questioned my knowledge and skills, I felt sad today. When I looked inside I found the feeling was sitting in my solar plexus, like a sickness. When I tried to be kind to this feeling it made me smile almost straight away. It’s still there but feels better.
A softening and sense of this situation of anger and frustration is not my fault (or anyone’s really) and i dont need to feel guilty for being angry or judge myself. Its just a real human experience
My shoulders and upper body muscles released and I felt held in the moment by my own strength and protection. So much like a breakthrough moment in therapy.
Synchronicity …I was experiencing this “trance ” so deeply , and with despair my default way to go .
I began thinking about how i may have gotten “there” , and observed deeply but with judgment ….
I felt so overwhelmed by the suffering
then I went to my email and discovered Tara’s announcement for this most essential video ,…
Synchronicity ….Thank you for Everything !
Thank you first of all for your video. I hadn’t realised how much I needed to see it until I started to watch.
I’ve been dealing with depression and feeling of anxiety for two years, since my partner of ten years passed away. Even though I’m on medication, I get days where I still feel so low, mixed with so many emotions. I put on a brave face and seem normal to others around me, but inside I’m upset, unhappy and feeling lost.
I listened to the first part of your video and although I listened through it, at times I felt emotional as my thoughts took me back to how I felt a couple of years ago. I always feel like I’m drifting in life but I don’t feel emotionally ready to live and work in the real world.
I noticed my tiredness and deep exhaustion along with sadness and hardening around my heart, shallow breathing. After allowing kindness and compassion I felt more like I was resting in my tiredness, I could breathe lower into my pelvis, my heart softened. Thank you so much. I want to learn more for myself and my relationship with my family. So grateful for this this morning.
I burst into tears and admitted how I have been feeling. I had been working hard to suppress the painful emotions. Admitting it to myself allowed me to practice kindness and offer the hurt part of me compassion and understanding.
I was experiencing not feeling equal to the writing I am trying to do. I concentrated on the feeling, imagined bringing kindness (as I would to a friend in the same state) to myself and all of a sudden I hear “well, if you were more disciplined, it might be better” and that followed with a bunch of “if only” and “what can you be” statements that were far more criticism than statement. Right back where I started.
I felt lighter, like the tension in my whole body was allowed to be released. I began to imagine I was being held and nurtured in a way I would have loved to have been as a child.
Thanks for your sharing such valuable insights Tara. I felt some easing..lifting of the weight of self judgment — feeling flawed. It helps to know I’m not the only one with those feelings.
The part that is/was difficult to be with is: a fear of being truly alone, on my own, separate. Can I be with this fear and this part with kindness and understanding ? I will work on this. Thank you!
Thank you too for the idea of “trance of unworthiness.” Unaware of what I chase while still chasing something is tiring. Worthy. Oneness. Not separate.
I want to feel kindness and I do because I know why I have behaved in such a volatile way-trauma response. But even if I feel good about myself, my relationships with family may never heal and I may be alone for the rest of my life!
First, thank you Tara for this kind offering.
What happened? At first I became aware in a deeper and more direct way of my own sense of sadness. This was a bit disarming, and there was a fleeting impulse to run away from that sadness. Instead I decided to just allow the sadness to be there. This was difficult, and a flash of “what’s wrong with you” arose and melted away, almost in the same moment. Still I remained with the sadness, deciding to embrace it, to care for it. The pain of it eased. I found myself understanding on a heart level that this sadness is the human condition. From there I did a little Tong Lin, acknowledging that while my sadness is my own, everyone everywhere has their own sadness as well, and that I could meet them in it and offer them the same love I had offered myself.
the feeling of sadness was overwhelming, it felt like sadness was cascading inside me , a strong flow falling into an abyss. but I also felt a sort of warmth, a slight consolation, as if i was being petted on my head or back
I felt a warm stream of love for myself in the circumstance I am in. I felt seen by me. I felt sorry for what’ve lost and felt the sadness and grief of that loss. But I honored myself at the same time. Found myself worth the respect and warmth I gave myself with one hand on my hart and one on my stomach. Truly loving myself
Thank you so for your insight. Have an ache in me – not belonging – repeating nightmare: lost my purse/no money – no way to prove who I am -where I live. Doing lucid dreaming I shift this: I am releasing false identity (inner child) to come home to me. Still some despair – an empath I feel world’s pain. Making inner shift: chaos is creating mega change -people like me re-identifying self, relationships – work- love is power, fear is lack. Key:ending blame- Owning my beauty and LUCK!
I gave my wounded self a loving hug, to reassure, to let the part of myself in pain know I am loved, that I’m lovable, I’m ok. The type of hug and words of affection I give freely to others I finally gave to me.
I had a sense of softening towards my self and started to touch a deep sadness that I had neglected this internal self often in my life. I have realised before that I am often motivated by negative self feedback and that I’m critical of others that held mask the feelings of inadequacy that I feel underneath my presented self.
I find it really difficult….
Often I habe the feeling to fail Even in Meditation, Although I Know I should Not junge myself again…
I cried. I am full of sadness, regret, and fear. I tried to give myself a hug and tell myself it is okay but it didn’t help
The feeling of emptiness/lonliness got stronger at first. Tears turned into sobbing, but I felt safe. I’m aware of the knowledge that the pain I felt/feel is temporary and that there is love. It’s hard to put into words, but your phrase of “my heart still ached, but it felt lighter” rings true. The pain deepened, but there was also awareness that it would/will end. That it’s OK. That I’m OK.
It required both intention and effort to focus inward and allow myself to bring kindness. When I felt that this was finally accomplished there was a much-appreciated feeling of calm.
I felt a slight easing of my feeling of abandonment and anxiety.
When I sunk into the feelings, they were swirling and storming like a hurricane. When I offered compassion, the swirling slowed, pieces broke off and were entering in the compassion. The colors shifted from hot to cooler tones. Wow. That was helpful. But the evidence! Next step please –
I cried.
After a lot finally I am enough, i am worthy and im true to myself .
I started sobbing. The softness of the loving, compassionate presence gave me permission to allow the ugly stuff to have company. The shame is so strong though and the pain feels overpowering. I want the shame and ugliness to go away. The compassionate presence just sits with it and allows it be as it is. I see my resistance, this war within me so clearly. One side can be compassionate, while the other resists and condemns….
I felt deep sadness and had to cry as I watched the video. I can be with that without judgement, but it seams to come back time and time again.
It didn’t work. I feel so desperately sad after suffering from a painful chronic illness for 30 years I just feel I’m missing out on so much potential joy. I just cancelled going to the opera tonight because I am suffering pain and great sadness because someone close to me keeps telling me I’m developing problems with my mind, yet I think I’m trying so hard.
As you might have guessed, I am my own harshest critic. I use meditation and mindfulness practice daily, and it has helped. Offering myself compassion is key to being centered and balanced in a difficult world.
Interestingly I have had this experience today as I felt hurt by my supervisor not supporting a talk I was giving and I felt I am qualified to do this but I felt from her response I may not be ? I questioned my knowledge and skills, I felt sad today. When I looked inside I found the feeling was sitting in my solar plexus, like a sickness. When I tried to be kind to this feeling it made me smile almost straight away. It’s still there but feels better.
A softening and sense of this situation of anger and frustration is not my fault (or anyone’s really) and i dont need to feel guilty for being angry or judge myself. Its just a real human experience
I felt incentivized to keep going…
My shoulders and upper body muscles released and I felt held in the moment by my own strength and protection. So much like a breakthrough moment in therapy.
Synchronicity …I was experiencing this “trance ” so deeply , and with despair my default way to go .
I began thinking about how i may have gotten “there” , and observed deeply but with judgment ….
I felt so overwhelmed by the suffering
then I went to my email and discovered Tara’s announcement for this most essential video ,…
Synchronicity ….Thank you for Everything !
Thank you first of all for your video. I hadn’t realised how much I needed to see it until I started to watch.
I’ve been dealing with depression and feeling of anxiety for two years, since my partner of ten years passed away. Even though I’m on medication, I get days where I still feel so low, mixed with so many emotions. I put on a brave face and seem normal to others around me, but inside I’m upset, unhappy and feeling lost.
I listened to the first part of your video and although I listened through it, at times I felt emotional as my thoughts took me back to how I felt a couple of years ago. I always feel like I’m drifting in life but I don’t feel emotionally ready to live and work in the real world.
my whole day is beautiful.
I sensed a feeling of embracing myself inside.
I felt unable to reach inside myself to find what was happening.
It felt like I hit a closed door.
I noticed my tiredness and deep exhaustion along with sadness and hardening around my heart, shallow breathing. After allowing kindness and compassion I felt more like I was resting in my tiredness, I could breathe lower into my pelvis, my heart softened. Thank you so much. I want to learn more for myself and my relationship with my family. So grateful for this this morning.
I burst into tears and admitted how I have been feeling. I had been working hard to suppress the painful emotions. Admitting it to myself allowed me to practice kindness and offer the hurt part of me compassion and understanding.
I was experiencing not feeling equal to the writing I am trying to do. I concentrated on the feeling, imagined bringing kindness (as I would to a friend in the same state) to myself and all of a sudden I hear “well, if you were more disciplined, it might be better” and that followed with a bunch of “if only” and “what can you be” statements that were far more criticism than statement. Right back where I started.
I realized if I can’t be caring to myself, who else would/could?
Hello Tara, thanQ for asking for our contributions yo your much appreciated thoughts – most feel slightly broken?
We really are a part of the whole! 🙂
fear ! of judgements of others and their negative perceptions and the outcomes, of this,
therefore feeling lack of control here.
Thankyou Tara and Nicabm
I felt lighter, like the tension in my whole body was allowed to be released. I began to imagine I was being held and nurtured in a way I would have loved to have been as a child.
A sense of relief and loosening of the tightness in my body
I felt a warmth and an opening of a little more space. A release of some constriction that I didn’t even realize was there.
relief..tears…breathing deeply..soft heart..compassion..remembering
A wave of pure water
Stress about recognizing the feelings of unworthiness that I constantly have. Then a softening and exhale, resulting in a calming release of tension.
Thanks for your sharing such valuable insights Tara. I felt some easing..lifting of the weight of self judgment — feeling flawed. It helps to know I’m not the only one with those feelings.
I have just survived a huge blood clot in both lungs. Acceptance is the word.
When I applied kindness to my hectic day and my hectic thoughts and feelings, I slowed down and enjoyed the change. Thank you, Dr. Todd
I felt a softening in my body. A flow of love and compassion for myself. Like a big warm hug❤️❤️
The part that is/was difficult to be with is: a fear of being truly alone, on my own, separate. Can I be with this fear and this part with kindness and understanding ? I will work on this. Thank you!
Thank you too for the idea of “trance of unworthiness.” Unaware of what I chase while still chasing something is tiring. Worthy. Oneness. Not separate.
I want to feel kindness and I do because I know why I have behaved in such a volatile way-trauma response. But even if I feel good about myself, my relationships with family may never heal and I may be alone for the rest of my life!
I cried a lot. But the 2nd question felt comforting somewhere.
I felt a shift in my inner experience from criticism (as a continuous background process) to inner peace and softness.
First, thank you Tara for this kind offering.
What happened? At first I became aware in a deeper and more direct way of my own sense of sadness. This was a bit disarming, and there was a fleeting impulse to run away from that sadness. Instead I decided to just allow the sadness to be there. This was difficult, and a flash of “what’s wrong with you” arose and melted away, almost in the same moment. Still I remained with the sadness, deciding to embrace it, to care for it. The pain of it eased. I found myself understanding on a heart level that this sadness is the human condition. From there I did a little Tong Lin, acknowledging that while my sadness is my own, everyone everywhere has their own sadness as well, and that I could meet them in it and offer them the same love I had offered myself.
the feeling of sadness was overwhelming, it felt like sadness was cascading inside me , a strong flow falling into an abyss. but I also felt a sort of warmth, a slight consolation, as if i was being petted on my head or back
Guilt, unworthiness, just feeling stuck lately. and when I acknowledge it, it’s like are we really here again?
my experience softens, I feel a softening.
I felt a warm stream of love for myself in the circumstance I am in. I felt seen by me. I felt sorry for what’ve lost and felt the sadness and grief of that loss. But I honored myself at the same time. Found myself worth the respect and warmth I gave myself with one hand on my hart and one on my stomach. Truly loving myself
First it was good and receiving. Not long it turned to disappointment. Felt defeated.
Thank you so for your insight. Have an ache in me – not belonging – repeating nightmare: lost my purse/no money – no way to prove who I am -where I live. Doing lucid dreaming I shift this: I am releasing false identity (inner child) to come home to me. Still some despair – an empath I feel world’s pain. Making inner shift: chaos is creating mega change -people like me re-identifying self, relationships – work- love is power, fear is lack. Key:ending blame- Owning my beauty and LUCK!