I have acquaintances but no strong friendships. I believe this is because I don’t like myself, therefore I don’t expect others to want to spend much time with me. I recently lost my sister to pancreatic cancer & feel more alone than ever. While I wish I had friends I could spend more time with, I really don’t mind being alone that much. I think being being kind to myself would help me feel alive again. Thank you so much for your programs.
It felt uncomfortable and painful with the realization that I’ve been treating myself unkindly for so long. Also felt a glimpse of hope and love I hold for my inner being.
It seems that I am task orientated and when I stop and consider why this is, it may be because I don’t want to feel that vulnerability when I offer myself kindness.
It does feel calming and reassuring when it is offered.
I was quite distracted, and when I asked can I be with this with kindness I didn’t really have a strong feeling at that point.. although wen on the video Tara described the first wing as seeing and recognising what is happening and not adding judgement, the not adding judgement moved me and made me think of a friend only this day who’d been so non judgemental to my non coping behaviour – a relationship break up and I’d felt I was being pathetic and had responded ‘like a doormat’ and then been angry, etc, .. she was just so kind and accepting of me and every feeling I was experiencing, whereas I was angry with myself and felt stupid! So short answer I guess, is my mind went to the kindness of experienced from a friend! Thank you x
Initially on going inwards I felt very agitated, telling myself come on you should be up and about not just laying here watching a video. Then as I focused on my breathing and experimenting with bringing kindness to that feeling I began to relax and gave myself permission to just allow myself to rest, and as I sank into allowing myself to rest a feeling of great peace emerged.
Being in the middle of my seventh decade I guess it’s ok to just rest for a bit and gather my senses.
I’m not sure I can really describe the feeling. Because of a recent loss in my life I have been trying to practice selfcare and compassion. Learning to practice mindfulness and meditation is helping me navigate this journey of grief and suffering. I’m learning to forgive myself for seeming flaws and let go of feelings of unworthiness. I have been listening to Tara for a year or more now and am grateful for her caring, her wisdom and her generosity to share. Blessings.
I was feeling at peace when I did this exercise so I felt how pleasant that was and thought I want more of this more of the time. It felt peaceful and satisfying.
I have been doing this for a longer period and still tears come up. It cannot be a quick fix, but a repreated practice where more qnd more layers of memories and feelings come up. I decide to get some help. so I had a support group and fellow life coach to share with. Isolation is not a good thing and we need trustworthy fellow travelers. So often I have heard from others” Aren’t you over that yet!” in an accusing tone. Whether it was teh death of my mom when was 14 years old. or an abandonment story with a first husband, and when we hear disapproval of processing sorrow if heard often eneough, we adopt that belief and treat outselves that way. Kindness with self–I wish I had learned it earlier in life. I have oodles of therapy but the “analytical ” and “give it piils” type. Fortunatley the world of therapist is changing . Namaste!
I am a 55 year old woman who walks with an unusual life story. I suddenly went from professional dancer/choreographer to epileptic at age 34. It was the greatest physical, mental and spiritual journey of my life. What it asked of me was mind/body/spirit altering. Inside the journey I was forced to recognize how much my mental experiences were impacting my physical ones. It required that I reexamine my entire understanding of the physical world. In my journey of healing, one of the most crucial steps for me was embracing my illness and consciously transforming it from adversary to friend. As I still walk with seizures, longing to dance again, I fall into judgement of myself and my life. I consider it all a worthless effort and me an awful failure. It is hard for me to pull myself away from this mental space into self affirmation. I will say, “If I have to affirm myself, then I am a failure!” I long for affirmation, especially from a parent, but since both my Mom and Dad abused me; that’s not possible. I have turned to alcohol at times, as I cry out to God, “What the hell do you want from me? Where do I go now? I’ve done my best, but it’s never enough. It’s not fair!”
I became aware of a strong sense of fear that I was inadequate. Whe I brought kindness to that I felt a tenderness for this vulnerability as if I was witnessing a small child.
My understanding of just how much I have been hurting in this lifetime was deepened, and I felt so much love for this suffering soul. Brings tears to my eyes to be present to this.
From time to time in my life I have realized, and then ignored these feelings, and sometimes have given up, telling myself I am just not very good with relationships, usually thinking about relationships with others, and lately about the relationship with myself.
I have an Aquarius moon, so it is hard for me to receive nurturing or even to understand what that might feel like or how to nurture myself.
This experience opened me to myself in a way that goes beyond understanding – I felt so much love and compassion in my heart! Thank you Tara!
Such a great reminder to offer kindness to myself. This time of day (4:00 pmish – 6:00 pmish) is a very unsettling part of the day for me. I often want to escape my restlessness through other means, such as food, TV, shopping, exercise, etc. I was grateful to find this in my email right at the exact time I need to offer kindness to myself because I feel unsettled. I am reminded of a saying by another, ” Be okay with not being okay!”
I cried when you told your story. When I brought kindness to how I was feeling, it felt like God was with me. I just lost a group of friends. They are into the channeler Abraham-Hicks and the “law of attraction” Personally, I find it harmful. I have lost my friends and found mySelf. Thanks again for truly helping others.
I am having a lot of fear due to things happening in the life of my child, but also due to being afraid of abandonment. I was with that and told myself it’s OK to be afraid. I sat with that for a bit then asked – ok, what do we do about this?
At first I felt my tense edges and holding places in my body, and then a sort of softness and presence, ease and expansiveness. As though I could open up to feeling the sweetness and richness and beauty of just being alive in this moment.
A few breaths ask for your inward understanding offer self care no matter how scary it may be.
Self compassion and awareness is the best care you can give yourself.
Thanks for reaching out to me when I most need it.
It always make a difference in my life.
Now I can offer the same to others🙂❤️🩹
When I tried the exercise, the voice I know so well said, “well, this will work for everyone else, but I’ve already tried this stuff before and failed.”
This is a very hard one for me. I feel a block that arises as I try. I am going to try it again, only with a relaxation technique first and see if that will help me get past that block of cement.
I embraced my fears with loving compassion, and I felt a release of anxiety as if a weight had been lifted from me. I felt myself fall into a deeper presence (of peacefulness and positive possibilities for living more fully).
I love ALL you do Tara! Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️. I went from fear to excitement! I am going through a period of transition? Semi retirement , newly certified Life Coach! These exercises are so very helpful! 🥰⚓️✌🏼🙏
Tom: The voice said, “It’s just one more thing to try that probably won’t work.”
Barbara: Some shame came up; “I didn’t listen carefully enough and was distracted, and now I can’t switch out of the unworthy feelings and get to the kindness.” I want to listen to the video again.
There was that inner critic at first who told me that I have nothing to offer to a partner, because I suffer from mental illness and have several health problems. That I am unworthy of love. When I tried to bring kindness to these feelings I realized that I am doing it from a position of a teacher or a therapist who have helped me with a great amount of respect but I always feel there’s a great distance between us. That I can’t call them after the session and that they won’t be always there for me. Then I realized what I need the most is the unconditional love and presence and a warm hug which only I can give myself right now. A great shift happened inside of me – the critical voice disappeared and I heard something like : You have so much to offer. You are a wonderful person.
I have acquaintances but no strong friendships. I believe this is because I don’t like myself, therefore I don’t expect others to want to spend much time with me. I recently lost my sister to pancreatic cancer & feel more alone than ever. While I wish I had friends I could spend more time with, I really don’t mind being alone that much. I think being being kind to myself would help me feel alive again. Thank you so much for your programs.
I felt lighter. My head felt lighter. Thank you!
Thank you Tara. When I recognised my feeling of loneliness and gave it care I felt comforted and relaxed.
It felt uncomfortable and painful with the realization that I’ve been treating myself unkindly for so long. Also felt a glimpse of hope and love I hold for my inner being.
It seems that I am task orientated and when I stop and consider why this is, it may be because I don’t want to feel that vulnerability when I offer myself kindness.
It does feel calming and reassuring when it is offered.
I was quite distracted, and when I asked can I be with this with kindness I didn’t really have a strong feeling at that point.. although wen on the video Tara described the first wing as seeing and recognising what is happening and not adding judgement, the not adding judgement moved me and made me think of a friend only this day who’d been so non judgemental to my non coping behaviour – a relationship break up and I’d felt I was being pathetic and had responded ‘like a doormat’ and then been angry, etc, .. she was just so kind and accepting of me and every feeling I was experiencing, whereas I was angry with myself and felt stupid! So short answer I guess, is my mind went to the kindness of experienced from a friend! Thank you x
Initially on going inwards I felt very agitated, telling myself come on you should be up and about not just laying here watching a video. Then as I focused on my breathing and experimenting with bringing kindness to that feeling I began to relax and gave myself permission to just allow myself to rest, and as I sank into allowing myself to rest a feeling of great peace emerged.
Being in the middle of my seventh decade I guess it’s ok to just rest for a bit and gather my senses.
Thank you for the invitation to this course.
A softening and a need to offer more care to myself and a commitment to myself to do so, to be so.
I’m not sure I can really describe the feeling. Because of a recent loss in my life I have been trying to practice selfcare and compassion. Learning to practice mindfulness and meditation is helping me navigate this journey of grief and suffering. I’m learning to forgive myself for seeming flaws and let go of feelings of unworthiness. I have been listening to Tara for a year or more now and am grateful for her caring, her wisdom and her generosity to share. Blessings.
I was feeling at peace when I did this exercise so I felt how pleasant that was and thought I want more of this more of the time. It felt peaceful and satisfying.
Thank you Tara for all that you offer and for holding us.
I felt awareness of stress and unrealistic external expectations then a softening towards myself and a wish to take good care of myself. I am enough.
I have been doing this for a longer period and still tears come up. It cannot be a quick fix, but a repreated practice where more qnd more layers of memories and feelings come up. I decide to get some help. so I had a support group and fellow life coach to share with. Isolation is not a good thing and we need trustworthy fellow travelers. So often I have heard from others” Aren’t you over that yet!” in an accusing tone. Whether it was teh death of my mom when was 14 years old. or an abandonment story with a first husband, and when we hear disapproval of processing sorrow if heard often eneough, we adopt that belief and treat outselves that way. Kindness with self–I wish I had learned it earlier in life. I have oodles of therapy but the “analytical ” and “give it piils” type. Fortunatley the world of therapist is changing . Namaste!
I struggled to see myself as needing kindness…..only judgment of my failures! I am my worst and unkind critic!
I am a 55 year old woman who walks with an unusual life story. I suddenly went from professional dancer/choreographer to epileptic at age 34. It was the greatest physical, mental and spiritual journey of my life. What it asked of me was mind/body/spirit altering. Inside the journey I was forced to recognize how much my mental experiences were impacting my physical ones. It required that I reexamine my entire understanding of the physical world. In my journey of healing, one of the most crucial steps for me was embracing my illness and consciously transforming it from adversary to friend. As I still walk with seizures, longing to dance again, I fall into judgement of myself and my life. I consider it all a worthless effort and me an awful failure. It is hard for me to pull myself away from this mental space into self affirmation. I will say, “If I have to affirm myself, then I am a failure!” I long for affirmation, especially from a parent, but since both my Mom and Dad abused me; that’s not possible. I have turned to alcohol at times, as I cry out to God, “What the hell do you want from me? Where do I go now? I’ve done my best, but it’s never enough. It’s not fair!”
I became aware of a strong sense of fear that I was inadequate. Whe I brought kindness to that I felt a tenderness for this vulnerability as if I was witnessing a small child.
My understanding of just how much I have been hurting in this lifetime was deepened, and I felt so much love for this suffering soul. Brings tears to my eyes to be present to this.
From time to time in my life I have realized, and then ignored these feelings, and sometimes have given up, telling myself I am just not very good with relationships, usually thinking about relationships with others, and lately about the relationship with myself.
I have an Aquarius moon, so it is hard for me to receive nurturing or even to understand what that might feel like or how to nurture myself.
This experience opened me to myself in a way that goes beyond understanding – I felt so much love and compassion in my heart! Thank you Tara!
Was quite difficult to bring kindness to myself…easier if I imagined myself as a friend rather than myself
This really resonated with me – the harsh judge that is invisible but ever-present.
Such a great reminder to offer kindness to myself. This time of day (4:00 pmish – 6:00 pmish) is a very unsettling part of the day for me. I often want to escape my restlessness through other means, such as food, TV, shopping, exercise, etc. I was grateful to find this in my email right at the exact time I need to offer kindness to myself because I feel unsettled. I am reminded of a saying by another, ” Be okay with not being okay!”
The ego was saying all the time, not for you. It is nog going to work for you
The feeling softened, became less “scary.”
I’m starting to feel better
I cried when you told your story. When I brought kindness to how I was feeling, it felt like God was with me. I just lost a group of friends. They are into the channeler Abraham-Hicks and the “law of attraction” Personally, I find it harmful. I have lost my friends and found mySelf. Thanks again for truly helping others.
I am having a lot of fear due to things happening in the life of my child, but also due to being afraid of abandonment. I was with that and told myself it’s OK to be afraid. I sat with that for a bit then asked – ok, what do we do about this?
At first I felt my tense edges and holding places in my body, and then a sort of softness and presence, ease and expansiveness. As though I could open up to feeling the sweetness and richness and beauty of just being alive in this moment.
I relaxed, felt the contraction of anxiety release a little. Thank you!
Such a simple and powerful experience, brought a lot of tears to my eyes. I needed to feel that sense of kindness and holding. Thank you so much
I’m still crying. Reminding me to breathe.
Understanding feeling is not my forte.
I felt vulnerable feeling my feelings.
I felt a softening, palpable muscular softening. It was like I was holding my self, stiff muscles. Then they relaxed.
A few breaths ask for your inward understanding offer self care no matter how scary it may be.
Self compassion and awareness is the best care you can give yourself.
Thanks for reaching out to me when I most need it.
It always make a difference in my life.
Now I can offer the same to others🙂❤️🩹
I feel an opening up , a receptivity to love, a softening, sense of relief connecting energy
I began to relax.
I felt my heart open, a feeling of acceptance and able to explore the space
When I tried the exercise, the voice I know so well said, “well, this will work for everyone else, but I’ve already tried this stuff before and failed.”
I feel it is okay not having to be at my best all the time. Give up my needs for perfection
This is a very hard one for me. I feel a block that arises as I try. I am going to try it again, only with a relaxation technique first and see if that will help me get past that block of cement.
My body became softer. My jaw unclenched..
I embraced my fears with loving compassion, and I felt a release of anxiety as if a weight had been lifted from me. I felt myself fall into a deeper presence (of peacefulness and positive possibilities for living more fully).
I see myself more objectively
I love ALL you do Tara! Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️. I went from fear to excitement! I am going through a period of transition? Semi retirement , newly certified Life Coach! These exercises are so very helpful! 🥰⚓️✌🏼🙏
I really struggled to do it and wasn’t very successful
I could feel my heart softened just a bit.
This course is so needed
Mindfulness is the most wonderful tool for healing.
Just wanted to share a quote i cane across on a Therapist’s flyer recently …..
“Your Body Leads to your Feelings,
Your Feelings Lead to your Heart,
Your Heart Leads to your Soul”
Confusion at first then anger then vulnerability. Tightness in my chest. When trying to have self-compassion it causes an angry feeling. 🤮
I’m just crying. My tummy was in knots and the knots ceased a little.
Tom: The voice said, “It’s just one more thing to try that probably won’t work.”
Barbara: Some shame came up; “I didn’t listen carefully enough and was distracted, and now I can’t switch out of the unworthy feelings and get to the kindness.” I want to listen to the video again.
I accepted my pain and realized I could forgive the person who wounded me and accept our fate. I also realized I wished him well in his life.
It brought tears to my eyes when I was kind to my anxiety.
There was that inner critic at first who told me that I have nothing to offer to a partner, because I suffer from mental illness and have several health problems. That I am unworthy of love. When I tried to bring kindness to these feelings I realized that I am doing it from a position of a teacher or a therapist who have helped me with a great amount of respect but I always feel there’s a great distance between us. That I can’t call them after the session and that they won’t be always there for me. Then I realized what I need the most is the unconditional love and presence and a warm hug which only I can give myself right now. A great shift happened inside of me – the critical voice disappeared and I heard something like : You have so much to offer. You are a wonderful person.