I experienced fear of getting to know myself, of truly looking at the pain. I can identify feelings and their embodied presence, and their shifting, but I am not so good at being with them compassionately.
As I reflected on kindness and compassion, I realized that I do things that are unkind on a regular basis. To myself and others. I also realized that being a critic of oneself and others isn’t going to get me anywhere on a deep level. Control was a theme that visited me, I realize I try to control situations and people that are uncontrollable and I do so to try and give myself value. I also realized I really need to “let go” negative thoughts. Thoughts are thoughts and I need to accept them, embrace them, and approach them in a non judgmental manner. I need to be my own best friend and then I will be a better friend to others.
I realize I do a place/purpose and can participate/contribute to society as I am now. I am a part of the edgeless loving/tender awareness/being/energy of the universe. I’m complete/whole. Like in Tara’s book I’m that golden Buddha statue within the clay
The strongest mirror in ones life is family. Mine find me wanting which has created a sense of unworthiness. For males it’s about providing for the family. Of recent times may age has caught up with me and a health condition has added to my sense of being unworthy.
In response I have been reclusive and tend to be by myself most of the time. Not engaging with family. There is some peace for me as I can now turn inward and allow many past stored thoughts and emotions to resurface.
I’m not perfect. If I were I doubt I would have incarnated. A work in progress. Facing those thoughts and feelings which arrive. Many from my younger days is allowing me to review with wisdom from an older head. Like a father watching their young son. Allowing mistakes knowing it’s all part of life.
So, for now I am OK with me. I’m living knowing that tomorrow I will be a different person from today and that will be the same for every day thereafter. The family are developing life and I am learning to be a bystander for they have their own journeys and I’m letting go of my expectations and those projected at me. For the moment I wish to hone my mind and free myself from years of programming which no longer have value. Then I will rebuild based on greater wisdom. And grow a more authentic me, based on my inner being as the predominant partner, rather than the mind based flesh and bones part. To live a happy, content existence free of attachment. Knowing this offers in t’s own sense a feeling of release, an easing and a way forward.
Hello and thanks for the video.
A part of me was envolved in feelings and emotions but at the same time I could find space enough to host them in myself. Seeing them was a way of accepting myself and being kind instead of judging as it sometimes happens.
Thanks again
Wonderful feelings of warmth inside ! I’ve definitely become my own best friend a long time ago and it just gets better with age and my dedication to yoga and meditation has encouraged me to slow down and live in the present … knowing deeply inside that everything falls into place no matter what , letting go and going with the flow of life
Wonderful feelings of warmth inside ! I’ve definitely become my own best friend a long time ago and it just gets better with age and my dedication to yoga and meditation has encouraged me to slow down and live in the present … knowing deeply inside that everything falls into place no matter what , letting go and going with the flow of life
I felt pain in my body and some distant way of being with it. When I imagined the way I look at clients sometimes, I tried to look at my pain and felt my face relax and shoulders drop.
Difficult to find sense of self. However I noticed worry and fear there so summoned courage. Relaxation tequnique with body scan and breath awareness helped.
I continued to feel unworthy. Hard to feel kindness in the face of many things I have done wrong. Still if I cannot feel kindness for myself, who will?
Thanks for sharing your experiences, Tara. You help me feel less alone and more hopeful about being kinder to myself. I noticed my sadness arise when I turned to myself with compassion and allowed myself to shed some tears. I have been grieving and sometimes, instead of allowing myself to feel my sadness, or whatever else is going on, I take my feelings out on myself. Thank you for the reminder to work on being more tender toward myself.
I went inwards with compassion and reassured myself that I have been compassionate with myself. Just, nothing has paid off. Life is a struggle in many ways and I am doing a great job moving forward, feeling sensations of fear but not being overwhelmed by it, and taking the next step.
I am in a long-term relationship with someone that I feel I cannot leave nor can I stay with compassion and lack of judgment.
I am struggling to be compassionate towards myself and my partner, but often feel that I am failing. Your message resonates with me at the moment; however I feel that I will need frequent exposure to it and extensive practice.
I had been feeling I tightness in my upper right side. When I looked at what was going on in my life and added kindness, I smiled and soon noticed the tightness was gone.
Offering kindness to my experience of self-loathing and blame for the mess I’ve made in my marriage and other important relationships brought a rush of anxiety and tears, for the sadness, powerlessness, anger, and fear. My chest is swollen with my racing, pounding heart.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences, struggles and determination. For me to hear a soothing, kind expert such as yourself normalise the processing of harsh shame gives me hope for myself… thank you NICABM team for creating an oasis of “home” across the world, and helping me to internalise this sense of home within my own body.
Thank you for offering this series. I think for Tara’s teaching to “sink in” I will need to listen to it again (and if I can, again and again). Tara asks, “What did you feel?” I felt anger and anxiety. I am in a stage of life where I almost always feel at least SOME anxiety, except maybe when I am swimming laps. I feel rushed most of the time too – gotta get things done. But anger – that is neck and neck with anxiety. I am aware of these feelings, I am also aware of at least some of what is making this anxiety and anger so prevalent. But I don’t know how to change that without, what would be for me, really devastating consequences. Thank you again for helping.
I saw the disappointment, depression, and unworthiness as a big block of rock that subtly transformed into a block of clay. It’s thick stuff, but not a rock. Clay can be shaved, manipulated, and transformed. I often find myself dealing with loneliness, depression, anger, and so on. My fear is that kindness will be perceived as a weakness and I’ll once again find myself alone and afraid that the judgments of others might be true.
first feelings of insecurity, defense, emptyness, loss of control, … then, momentarily, feelings of release, widening … but then .., sort of sudden cut, ending, … nothing …
Because I’m already engaged in attempting to bring this fully into effect, the struggle itself manifests as disappointment – self doubt & contraction. Resisting habits of judgment is a help
That is exactly the point I am reaching at!!! After suddenly experiencing some pleasant exchanges I am longing to find inside me a different way of being my true self…
I felt afraid that if I encourage myself to really feel my sadness about my separation from my husband, I will withdraw even more from friends. At least when I appear up, when with them, I can give attention and care to them.
I felt something holding me back from allow it, my nervous system shut down to protect me from rejection. After a few deep breaths it started to feel powerful,free and warm.
I recognized a bubbling anxiety unrelated to anything going on. As suggested I brought compassion to my feelings. I accepted the sensation as it was. My question is where did this come from and why.
I experienced fear of getting to know myself, of truly looking at the pain. I can identify feelings and their embodied presence, and their shifting, but I am not so good at being with them compassionately.
As I reflected on kindness and compassion, I realized that I do things that are unkind on a regular basis. To myself and others. I also realized that being a critic of oneself and others isn’t going to get me anywhere on a deep level. Control was a theme that visited me, I realize I try to control situations and people that are uncontrollable and I do so to try and give myself value. I also realized I really need to “let go” negative thoughts. Thoughts are thoughts and I need to accept them, embrace them, and approach them in a non judgmental manner. I need to be my own best friend and then I will be a better friend to others.
I realize I do a place/purpose and can participate/contribute to society as I am now. I am a part of the edgeless loving/tender awareness/being/energy of the universe. I’m complete/whole. Like in Tara’s book I’m that golden Buddha statue within the clay
The strongest mirror in ones life is family. Mine find me wanting which has created a sense of unworthiness. For males it’s about providing for the family. Of recent times may age has caught up with me and a health condition has added to my sense of being unworthy.
In response I have been reclusive and tend to be by myself most of the time. Not engaging with family. There is some peace for me as I can now turn inward and allow many past stored thoughts and emotions to resurface.
I’m not perfect. If I were I doubt I would have incarnated. A work in progress. Facing those thoughts and feelings which arrive. Many from my younger days is allowing me to review with wisdom from an older head. Like a father watching their young son. Allowing mistakes knowing it’s all part of life.
So, for now I am OK with me. I’m living knowing that tomorrow I will be a different person from today and that will be the same for every day thereafter. The family are developing life and I am learning to be a bystander for they have their own journeys and I’m letting go of my expectations and those projected at me. For the moment I wish to hone my mind and free myself from years of programming which no longer have value. Then I will rebuild based on greater wisdom. And grow a more authentic me, based on my inner being as the predominant partner, rather than the mind based flesh and bones part. To live a happy, content existence free of attachment. Knowing this offers in t’s own sense a feeling of release, an easing and a way forward.
Hello and thanks for the video.
A part of me was envolved in feelings and emotions but at the same time I could find space enough to host them in myself. Seeing them was a way of accepting myself and being kind instead of judging as it sometimes happens.
Thanks again
Wonderful feelings of warmth inside ! I’ve definitely become my own best friend a long time ago and it just gets better with age and my dedication to yoga and meditation has encouraged me to slow down and live in the present … knowing deeply inside that everything falls into place no matter what , letting go and going with the flow of life
Wonderful feelings of warmth inside ! I’ve definitely become my own best friend a long time ago and it just gets better with age and my dedication to yoga and meditation has encouraged me to slow down and live in the present … knowing deeply inside that everything falls into place no matter what , letting go and going with the flow of life
I felt pain in my body and some distant way of being with it. When I imagined the way I look at clients sometimes, I tried to look at my pain and felt my face relax and shoulders drop.
I feel my shoulders get a bit heavier and an overall feeling of ‘That’s not so hard.’
Sadness and some tears, followed by a feeling of releasing…
Softening, relaxing, smiling
Released, lighter, more confident
I felt a softening at the edges of my self judgement and sadness.
Difficult to find sense of self. However I noticed worry and fear there so summoned courage. Relaxation tequnique with body scan and breath awareness helped.
It was easier to be with the anxiety i was feeling.
Relaxed, sighed and smiled
I continued to feel unworthy. Hard to feel kindness in the face of many things I have done wrong. Still if I cannot feel kindness for myself, who will?
I could feel a softening of my feels of unworthiness and stuckness.
Thank you for this gift.. I felt a sense of relief
I softened and became much lighter
Thanks for sharing your experiences, Tara. You help me feel less alone and more hopeful about being kinder to myself. I noticed my sadness arise when I turned to myself with compassion and allowed myself to shed some tears. I have been grieving and sometimes, instead of allowing myself to feel my sadness, or whatever else is going on, I take my feelings out on myself. Thank you for the reminder to work on being more tender toward myself.
I went inwards with compassion and reassured myself that I have been compassionate with myself. Just, nothing has paid off. Life is a struggle in many ways and I am doing a great job moving forward, feeling sensations of fear but not being overwhelmed by it, and taking the next step.
I am in a long-term relationship with someone that I feel I cannot leave nor can I stay with compassion and lack of judgment.
I am struggling to be compassionate towards myself and my partner, but often feel that I am failing. Your message resonates with me at the moment; however I feel that I will need frequent exposure to it and extensive practice.
Kindness always is difficult to show to me. I forget me is someone to love too. It is a work in progress. I pray I succeed. Thank you for your help.
I had been feeling I tightness in my upper right side. When I looked at what was going on in my life and added kindness, I smiled and soon noticed the tightness was gone.
Offering kindness to my experience of self-loathing and blame for the mess I’ve made in my marriage and other important relationships brought a rush of anxiety and tears, for the sadness, powerlessness, anger, and fear. My chest is swollen with my racing, pounding heart.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences, struggles and determination. For me to hear a soothing, kind expert such as yourself normalise the processing of harsh shame gives me hope for myself… thank you NICABM team for creating an oasis of “home” across the world, and helping me to internalise this sense of home within my own body.
Thank you for offering this series. I think for Tara’s teaching to “sink in” I will need to listen to it again (and if I can, again and again). Tara asks, “What did you feel?” I felt anger and anxiety. I am in a stage of life where I almost always feel at least SOME anxiety, except maybe when I am swimming laps. I feel rushed most of the time too – gotta get things done. But anger – that is neck and neck with anxiety. I am aware of these feelings, I am also aware of at least some of what is making this anxiety and anger so prevalent. But I don’t know how to change that without, what would be for me, really devastating consequences. Thank you again for helping.
Excellent teaching video. Thank you.
I saw the disappointment, depression, and unworthiness as a big block of rock that subtly transformed into a block of clay. It’s thick stuff, but not a rock. Clay can be shaved, manipulated, and transformed. I often find myself dealing with loneliness, depression, anger, and so on. My fear is that kindness will be perceived as a weakness and I’ll once again find myself alone and afraid that the judgments of others might be true.
i guess i forgot to do that … can‘t remember
I felt softer calmer when I offered kindness and acceptable to my feelings
first feelings of insecurity, defense, emptyness, loss of control, … then, momentarily, feelings of release, widening … but then .., sort of sudden cut, ending, … nothing …
Because I’m already engaged in attempting to bring this fully into effect, the struggle itself manifests as disappointment – self doubt & contraction. Resisting habits of judgment is a help
That is exactly the point I am reaching at!!! After suddenly experiencing some pleasant exchanges I am longing to find inside me a different way of being my true self…
I didn’t feel like it was possible but the thought of being able to gives me comfort. I am going to try and practice being kinder to myself.
Some relief though the anxiety stayed but less overwhelming
I find it so hard to be a friend to myself
I felt afraid that if I encourage myself to really feel my sadness about my separation from my husband, I will withdraw even more from friends. At least when I appear up, when with them, I can give attention and care to them.
What’s happening ? I notice a feeling of anxiousness .
Can I be with this feeling with kindness ? I felt some relief. Less tight.
Thank you .
The tightness in my solar plexus softened
I had a bit of a feeling that I could face what was happening by accepting it and moving on
I felt something holding me back from allow it, my nervous system shut down to protect me from rejection. After a few deep breaths it started to feel powerful,free and warm.
I felt held.
A softening and a feeling of acceptance. A peace .
A relaxed feeling
I recognized a bubbling anxiety unrelated to anything going on. As suggested I brought compassion to my feelings. I accepted the sensation as it was. My question is where did this come from and why.
I felt a small smile on my face and a light feeling of hope –Allyson, CA
Immediate relief and sense of connection, thank you!
A strong sense of sadness and then comfort as i allowed feelings of compassion