I felt tearful, which I also associated with melting (/release). But it also brought up feelings of ambivalence…how hard forgiveness can be, not just for self (due to guilt) – but for others, when we have been deeply hurt. It brought up thoughts about what we see as right and wrong. About the dichotomy between holding firm, and forgiveness. I think I’m going to be sitting for a great deal longer!
This is my practice already.
I am a Transactional Analyst and what you describe here is the true meaning of the TA philosophy I am OK you are OK. I have been teaching students and clients for decades that the first step is self care and love.
I love this video and I am sad that the TA organisations have not done something like this in the half century or more since Eric Berne first wrote about it.
I find it really hard to connect to my inner feelings and to feel emotions in my body. I have experienced a lot of trauma in my life and think I have subconsciously blocked myself from my real emotions. How do I break free from this?
hi ,
I guess it could be partly my ” good mood” today
or practicing your methods (and other practices of allowing) for a very long time that I feel expansion when listening to the video.
first image I got was the wings of a manta ray expanding.
second was a raw power of wanting to live, an animal like strengths like a big wild cat. wanting to be here with my body, in my body.
thank you!
I recognised myself in Tara’s description of the hiking trip & how she felt about & treated herself. When I closed my eyes and felt into my experience, I found fear, regret, blame, shame and disappointment – all sitting within me, woven & entwined through every part of me. Attempting to meet these with kindness and understanding triggered tears and a strong wave of emotion, along with the need to be held by someone or something. It was hard to be with this for more than a few moments but I felt that I caught a glimpse of myself underneath it all – the true self that struggles and tries to do right – even if it gets it wrong – and deserves to be recognised and loved for this. I think I saw hope.
My body felt lighter and started to feel more grounded also my heart started to feel warmer and I had a sense of gold light coming into my heart, I felt a little more relaxed and a little more vulnerable I felt like I was listening to me.
greetings again..the idea of these sensations being ha virtual give me a sense of letting go of my self judgement…giving myself permission to acknowledge the pain as if observing and not so much victimized.
I felt a bit blocked/numb – feeling or thinking that I cannot do this or it’s not working. I find it hard to fully embody the experience of self compassion.
I got in touch with my vulnerability. My strong reaction to the feelings had more to do with my negative self belief than the actions of the person who triggered it.
Shocked that when I first asked “can I be with this?” the inner answer was a clear and resounding “no”!!! accompanied by “you need to….”
I was not expecting that! When I was able to shift to acceptance in the next instant, what a release!! My body immediately relaxed and my breath freed up. Now very curious about that initial response and where else it’s operating without my being conscious of it.
Bringing kindness softened the experience for me. I agree so strongly that what this world needs is love, compassion and kindness; the perspective that it begins with giving that to ourselves as well is so helpful. I saw myself in your story and will work towards becoming my own best friend
I felt a sense of relief, that there are ways I can practise to help myself face , accept, and relieve, in time, the constant feelings of not being good enough….which I’ve carried/believed all of my life..I am in my 70’s!!!!!
I do practice mindfulness on a daily basis and really consciously try to infuse compassion to every act. Yet I do have a very difficult family member with mental illness whom i assist and take care of, who does not respond in a normal healthy way. this exercise reminded me that not only can i elevate my compassion for an individual who is not well, i can also share the practice with even someone who is difficult. i felt a wave of enlightenment.
I felt myself sit taller and breathe deeper which I was initially surprised by. I lifted my chin to access more breath which felt really good…to actually fill my lungs.
when I brought loving kindness in to the experience of something that brought up a lot of trauma from me recently old trauma that surfaced, I felt myself go into my heart space and I felt that the child part of me felt more relaxed and I felt connected. the connection with beating myself up for something that I didn’t do wrong is very much embedded within me but this is the way to heal it or at least one of the ways in this way is very powerful
Thank you kindly for this opportunity. This video is a great reminder as to where true peace resides, in the breath of each moment. My thoughts tend to swing from past regrets to future worries; it’s only when I center on my breath and become aware of the present moment that I feel a peaceful calm and clarity of thought. Compassion is a very powerful force, a person first needs to practice it on one’s self. Isn’t that the case, we’re always hardest of the people close to us; ourselves included. Always, peace and calm.
The last week has been a difficult one, and I didn’t feel like my normal self. But when I was able to be with the present, I felt a smile and warm emotions wash over me. Thank you.
I have been feeling angry most times for not being able to control certain aspects in my life. When I brought kindness to this awareness, I experienced softness in my body and sensation of anger. Thank you so much. It is valuable for me and for the clients I work with.
I am reminded that there is a larger force of unworthiness that moves through the collective and therefore also through me. It helps me to understanding that this pattern is a collective force that affects us all equally and not as my mind likes to believe, an individual flawed self I must fix or solve. I find this challenging as we live in a world that sells improvement and progressing our self as the success model. It takes focus, courage and commitment to stay clear sighted and detach from this false belief. RAIN has been pivotal to releasing myself from this enmeshment. Thank you for your world work.
When what I’m experiencing is more mild, I can get in touch with compassion for myself, and tell myself comforting things, reminding myself that how I react to my “mistake ” is more important than having made it in the first place. Nobody is perfect, and that’s the reality of being human.
I could so relate to the feelings of loneliness and not living my truth. also to the continuing feelings of not good enough. I gave myself a hug and some supportive words. I’ve been read a devotional from my Al-Anon book that talked about us doing our fourth step, a fearless and thorough inventory of ourselves, and feeling like I wasn’t doing it good enough. Then the writer shared her awareness that those feelings of self condemnation are the very traits and behaviors she was trying to bring into awareness to work on. The power of identification with her experience was very comforting to me. Thank you for this workshop to help me on this journey of self-compassion.
I found it hard. I have this guilt about something that I’ve done for which I feel I must be punished. Months of trying to cultivate kindness and love towards myself have softened the anger and shame and self hatred. I have the feeling I could overcome this one day with more practice.
Thank you for all your wonderful free resources, I regularly use your meditation videos and enjoy your talks. When I did this exercise I felt a sense of happiness and lightness, as if a small weight had lifted from me. I’d like to use this exercise with my counselling clients when they feel they are ready, I work in a programme with small groups of women who always enjoy conversations which serve to enhance their self esteem.
First I would like to thank you for all your generous and so very helpful resources online!! Thank you!!
Kindness to myself is becoming more and more my friend, its a journey though.
I felt tearful, which I also associated with melting (/release). But it also brought up feelings of ambivalence…how hard forgiveness can be, not just for self (due to guilt) – but for others, when we have been deeply hurt. It brought up thoughts about what we see as right and wrong. About the dichotomy between holding firm, and forgiveness. I think I’m going to be sitting for a great deal longer!
I felt a sense of wondering if I’m doing t this right
I wonder if I can trust this feeling that I’m ok.
Thank you for this reminder 🥰
This is my practice already.
I am a Transactional Analyst and what you describe here is the true meaning of the TA philosophy I am OK you are OK. I have been teaching students and clients for decades that the first step is self care and love.
I love this video and I am sad that the TA organisations have not done something like this in the half century or more since Eric Berne first wrote about it.
I find it really hard to connect to my inner feelings and to feel emotions in my body. I have experienced a lot of trauma in my life and think I have subconsciously blocked myself from my real emotions. How do I break free from this?
hi ,
I guess it could be partly my ” good mood” today
or practicing your methods (and other practices of allowing) for a very long time that I feel expansion when listening to the video.
first image I got was the wings of a manta ray expanding.
second was a raw power of wanting to live, an animal like strengths like a big wild cat. wanting to be here with my body, in my body.
thank you!
When I tried to bring kindness to what I was feeling, I was overcome with a sense of forgiveness for myself …..and I had many tears.
I had images , talking heads of those people I feel judged by
Slightly panicky feeling in my throat
Trepidation and feel a bit sick/nervous
I recognised myself in Tara’s description of the hiking trip & how she felt about & treated herself. When I closed my eyes and felt into my experience, I found fear, regret, blame, shame and disappointment – all sitting within me, woven & entwined through every part of me. Attempting to meet these with kindness and understanding triggered tears and a strong wave of emotion, along with the need to be held by someone or something. It was hard to be with this for more than a few moments but I felt that I caught a glimpse of myself underneath it all – the true self that struggles and tries to do right – even if it gets it wrong – and deserves to be recognised and loved for this. I think I saw hope.
My body felt lighter and started to feel more grounded also my heart started to feel warmer and I had a sense of gold light coming into my heart, I felt a little more relaxed and a little more vulnerable I felt like I was listening to me.
greetings again..the idea of these sensations being ha virtual give me a sense of letting go of my self judgement…giving myself permission to acknowledge the pain as if observing and not so much victimized.
hi Tara…I’ve been struggling with loneliness feelings but your suggestions gave my a fresh outlook and freedom to self care.
I have been enjoying your utube and email presentations. I hope you are blessed every day.
I felt a bit blocked/numb – feeling or thinking that I cannot do this or it’s not working. I find it hard to fully embody the experience of self compassion.
I got in touch with my vulnerability. My strong reaction to the feelings had more to do with my negative self belief than the actions of the person who triggered it.
More relaxed and feeling of contentment it has taken me 80 years to get here and it comes and goes
A softening ….been judging myself and other for so long now!
Only a glimpse my mind is powerful but feel hopeful x
Shocked that when I first asked “can I be with this?” the inner answer was a clear and resounding “no”!!! accompanied by “you need to….”
I was not expecting that! When I was able to shift to acceptance in the next instant, what a release!! My body immediately relaxed and my breath freed up. Now very curious about that initial response and where else it’s operating without my being conscious of it.
The experience intensified
Just what I needed to find in my inbox today! Thank you!
I felt a ligtening, a lightnes
Bringing kindness softened the experience for me. I agree so strongly that what this world needs is love, compassion and kindness; the perspective that it begins with giving that to ourselves as well is so helpful. I saw myself in your story and will work towards becoming my own best friend
i felt at ease
I felt a sense of relief, that there are ways I can practise to help myself face , accept, and relieve, in time, the constant feelings of not being good enough….which I’ve carried/believed all of my life..I am in my 70’s!!!!!
I felt a shift to growth and lightness.
I feel damaged because of what happened to me as a child. When I tried to stay with this feeling, I cried and experienced deep sorrow.
I could remember many times feeling that sadness of not acknowledging my self-worth…feeling tired and drained….
Nothing much; I still feel rattled
Tears formed, I felt softer towards myself, my hands move instinctively to my chest.
Thank you
It softened my brow, lowered my shoulders, released the anxiety that I carry in those two places; it softened me.
I do practice mindfulness on a daily basis and really consciously try to infuse compassion to every act. Yet I do have a very difficult family member with mental illness whom i assist and take care of, who does not respond in a normal healthy way. this exercise reminded me that not only can i elevate my compassion for an individual who is not well, i can also share the practice with even someone who is difficult. i felt a wave of enlightenment.
tara, you’re a gift to us
is like it boost my energy
I can’t do it!!! I can always bring kindness to others I can’t bring it to myself
I was able to settle and explore more deeply rather than ‘skimming across the surface’ on auto pilot.
I felt myself sit taller and breathe deeper which I was initially surprised by. I lifted my chin to access more breath which felt really good…to actually fill my lungs.
I felt a sense of calmness to the stress I am feeling. I’m stressed about financial situation and family.
I am able to be present in the moment to just be grateful loving the people I am with
when I brought loving kindness in to the experience of something that brought up a lot of trauma from me recently old trauma that surfaced, I felt myself go into my heart space and I felt that the child part of me felt more relaxed and I felt connected. the connection with beating myself up for something that I didn’t do wrong is very much embedded within me but this is the way to heal it or at least one of the ways in this way is very powerful
Thank you kindly for this opportunity. This video is a great reminder as to where true peace resides, in the breath of each moment. My thoughts tend to swing from past regrets to future worries; it’s only when I center on my breath and become aware of the present moment that I feel a peaceful calm and clarity of thought. Compassion is a very powerful force, a person first needs to practice it on one’s self. Isn’t that the case, we’re always hardest of the people close to us; ourselves included. Always, peace and calm.
The last week has been a difficult one, and I didn’t feel like my normal self. But when I was able to be with the present, I felt a smile and warm emotions wash over me. Thank you.
I have been feeling angry most times for not being able to control certain aspects in my life. When I brought kindness to this awareness, I experienced softness in my body and sensation of anger. Thank you so much. It is valuable for me and for the clients I work with.
can’t bring it
I am reminded that there is a larger force of unworthiness that moves through the collective and therefore also through me. It helps me to understanding that this pattern is a collective force that affects us all equally and not as my mind likes to believe, an individual flawed self I must fix or solve. I find this challenging as we live in a world that sells improvement and progressing our self as the success model. It takes focus, courage and commitment to stay clear sighted and detach from this false belief. RAIN has been pivotal to releasing myself from this enmeshment. Thank you for your world work.
When what I’m experiencing is more mild, I can get in touch with compassion for myself, and tell myself comforting things, reminding myself that how I react to my “mistake ” is more important than having made it in the first place. Nobody is perfect, and that’s the reality of being human.
I could so relate to the feelings of loneliness and not living my truth. also to the continuing feelings of not good enough. I gave myself a hug and some supportive words. I’ve been read a devotional from my Al-Anon book that talked about us doing our fourth step, a fearless and thorough inventory of ourselves, and feeling like I wasn’t doing it good enough. Then the writer shared her awareness that those feelings of self condemnation are the very traits and behaviors she was trying to bring into awareness to work on. The power of identification with her experience was very comforting to me. Thank you for this workshop to help me on this journey of self-compassion.
I found it hard. I have this guilt about something that I’ve done for which I feel I must be punished. Months of trying to cultivate kindness and love towards myself have softened the anger and shame and self hatred. I have the feeling I could overcome this one day with more practice.
Touched by having the feeling of emptiness recognized and the emptiness began to fill with a warm, joyful feeling.
Sadness for wasted energy of judging myself. Want to be peaceful and authentic.
Thank you for all your wonderful free resources, I regularly use your meditation videos and enjoy your talks. When I did this exercise I felt a sense of happiness and lightness, as if a small weight had lifted from me. I’d like to use this exercise with my counselling clients when they feel they are ready, I work in a programme with small groups of women who always enjoy conversations which serve to enhance their self esteem.
First I would like to thank you for all your generous and so very helpful resources online!! Thank you!!
Kindness to myself is becoming more and more my friend, its a journey though.