Hi everyone, I found it very difficult to think kindly & bring kindness to myself. I’ve had such a traumatic time in losing my job & relationship & the guilt & feeling I’m to blame for all this. I know being more kind & compassionate to myself will help me to move forward with a feeling of confidence & an energy to try new experiences & opportunities.
I’m very emotional & hyper sensitive to what’s going on in this world. Practice for me is key & along with my 40 day Mindfulness course & these videos, I can overcome all self doubts.
I also want to fight this anxiety of letting myself & others down & comparing my life with others & their success.
I also really like how the courses are short which helps me to focus & absorb the content more easily.
I felt a huge amount of comfort. It eased the anxiety that some life experiences are bringing. Thank you! I’ll be adopting this useful practice and perhaps helping others with it once I feel more practiced.
Claire Yaeger, Counseling, San Francisco, CA, USAsays
I felt resistance and I felt frozen in my discomfort. I felt the need to act and then judged myself for not allowing myself to break free of the self judgement. I am in an acute place of visceral judgement toward myself, however I know that I can break out of it I’m just unsure if it is available in this moment.
After 13 years of working as an Emergency Room Nurse I was given an amazing opportunity to work for a company Monday-Friday, no weekends and no holidays. This will allow me the be necessary time that I need in order to practice self care and I will finally be able to spend time with my family. After accepting the position I felt extremely unworthy and was filled with self doubt. I am happy to have this gentle reminder regarding kindness and compassion
Good afternoon, I’ve only recently started with a therapy to love myself as I am and to accept myself as I am. I love to hear what Tara teaches and to apply her life lessons.
My recent romantic rejection triggers the very last thing you said- I have evidence I am flawed. With Rejection of any kind, romantic, professional, social.. it seems the evidence of being flawed is there. With other issues, like lifestyle (things we are alone in) I can muster a little self compassion.
Kimberly Konvalinka, Another Field, Canal Winchester, OH, USAsays
I too have been on a journey of opening my heart space to loving kindness, compassion and accpetance of self. It has been an arduous journey to say the least. Having an extremely complicated past, that has caused me to remain imprisoned by those who saught to do me harm, and I regret to say there were many. I have tried several methods, even within the meditation world. It wasn’t until I found you, Tara, that I noticed a true shift happening within me! I thank you so much for your love, guidance support and dedication to the betterment of humankind, and the great, wide world.
I am working through the challenges of taking a pause and being present for myself, no matter what arises in those moments. It is SO uncomfortable most of the time, even after so many years of practice. But I am finally seeing the veil lifting and I can be present for my body and self in a way that isn’t self-harming or defeating. Bringing kindness to my parts is so very challenging, but so incredibly worth it!! If I don’t show up for myself, who will?
I experienced chills and cold sensations moving from my feet upward through my legs and hips and into my abdomen while doing this process. At first I was afraid, since it was such an uncomfortable sensation. But I reminded myself it was not painful, just different and that empowered me with the freedom to embrace the sensations and allow my body to speak to me. It’s been speaking for years!! I’m just so grateful that I am finally listening. I have you to thank for that!
Thank you Tara, for all that you are and for all that you do! You are an amazing spirit and I am so thankful for your guidance through your talks and videos.
I’m in a relatively new relationship (at nearly 70) and can say that although it is so wonderful, the trance has gotten kicked up for sure by deeply loving someone else for a first time. Old messages and feelings come to a head, beliefs from childhood and trauma resurface. So this was a great reminder to be with it, to not run from it. My daily practices help. But having additional reminders helps even more. I have known Tara’s work for decades, having visited the Bethesda sangha and her you tubes, so her work is always helpful. Thanks for the share! The nudges are helpful in my getting over myself in a way–in a good way. Perspective is so very important. There is so much to be grateful for, and yet we also have old conditioning too which tells us otherwise. Learning to turn toward the Light of love while not ignoring suffering is the trick, isn’t it? Compassion and kindness are essential as we go about our lives. And to wake up, each and every day, each and every moment. I think that my practice is helping me appreciate this new relationship even more than those in my past. I am optimistic that it will guide me to be awake in ways not known to me before. And to know how to love more deeply–both him, me and us.
When I tried to bring self compassion to my feelings it felt incredibly expansive, like I was suddenly transported momentarily to a different realm.
It only lasted for a Nano second but that’s enough, having followed Tara for a few months now, to let me know more is possible. Thank you Tara Brach 🙏
When I asked myself “Can I be with this with kindness”
I could feel confusion arising,in the form of “I don’t know how to be kind to myself”
What does that look like?
and then some resistance and fear to moving away from an uncomfortable but seemingly safe place, that felt like my normal state, even though it’s unmanageable most of the time
George Jacobs, Counseling, Kerhonkson, NY, USAsays
I’ve tried, over and over, to bring kindness to that hurt inner child, but here I am at 80 years, after decades of struggle, still caught in the trance of unworthiness and feeling like giving up and dying.
I had a negative experience with sisters. By focusing on self compassion I realized this was a pattern I had been dealing with since our youth. They would gang up against me. My goal is to continue to have a relationship with them so I just distanced myself from them, did not say anything and took time to heal myself. I realize the problem is their jealous issues. So I will forgive and go on without guilt and not try to fix it.
I thought about your words and adding kindness to the anxiety I was feeling. I decided to say to myself the things I would say to someone else, as I am preparing a home for a huge holiday get together. Doing all the work of cleaning, preparing and worrying about being judged and it being good enough. I decided to be my own best friend and compliment my hard work and love that I was showing by doing all the things I was doing. I also said No to going to a get together so I could not be so stressed for time. Thank you! I made a resolution to be my own best friend this year and you reminded me. I am glad I took the time this morning.
I think the biggest thing is actually allowing myself to be aware of my anxiety churning under the surface and my racing thoughts. I usually pretend they are not there. So for me to be kindly present was a brave step!
As I was preparing for my day and thinking of client appointments, I was watching this video. When I stopped to notice there was an existing heaviness in my chest. After I focused on being with the intent to bring kindness, I realized once again how important it is to get caught up in whatever. Thank you, Tara, I will be bringing this to my practice in session. It always amazes me how we forget to do that.
I actually felt more anxious.
I’ve struggled with this my entire life.
This is the last piece of my healing journey I need to work on.
And I sense it won’t be easy.
I had some awakening doing Vipassana, hearing myself again and again say sorry for my perceived mistakes, and then saying sorry to say sorry… I finally realized that I had to stop apologizing for being me. It was a long journey and today I am working and living a very satisfying life. I write this message from an island, my window facing the ocean. I will share this video to my patients. Thanks so much!
Thank you I’ve gotten loads from Vipassana as well and whole heartedly support and endorse anyone curious about exploring its methods or trying one of their short silent retreats
Nama Ste
I thank you for these words of insight and wisdom. I have moving too fast as of late. This reminds me to sit with myself, again, and to be kind to myself. I’ve been on the journey of self-love, self-compassion, and self-acceptance for over 30 years. The lack of it still arises when I am going through a change. That’s where I am right now. Your words are a great reminder to return to “the way” of compassion for myself as I give it so freely to others. Thank you.
Feeling hopeful. And gratitude to you Tara. I will try and practise turning towards the feelings I am probably keeping busy to avoid. And examine. With kindness. And I will do this earlier in the day, ( or more often) as I often find I end up going to bed feeing heavy, weighed down, critical, unworthy…..Not a good recipe for rest and rejuvenation 🙏🏼❤️
Excellent talk. Exactly the kinds of things I’ve been thinking about, both for myself, and for my clients. Thank you, Tara! Can’t wait for the next video 💜. – Theresa
Hello there. Paul here. I tried to allow my depressed emotions to be visited by kindness. It didn’t work for me. Maybe I didn’t try hard enough to allow that. Thank you.
May I suggest that if you keep offering yourself kindness it will get easier, rather like persevering with physical excercise eventually shows us getting nearer to fitness.
Tara,
I am grateful to you for sharing this story of your self at the beginning of your journey. I identify with the feelings you shared as I too lived in the trance of unworthiness for many years. And I too have found that I can move through the pain I habitually experienced by bringing the core feeling of unworthiness and self judgement to my consciousness. I have sought help and found healing but not until I realized that “the problem” was within me. And the solution was within me too. I needed to love myself. As I looked deeper I could see that my need for love had been unmet for most of my life. I blamed myself for the wounding I felt, as though I deserved to be punished. It has been many years since I found the path of my recovery and I am on that path every day and night 24/7.
I walk the path of belonging, of safety,
of loving kindness every day.
I especially love your image of the two wings of mindfulness and compassion.
Thank you for this offering.
Mimi A
I relaxed into knowing how exhausted my body is & can see how the rest of the nights activities, brushing my teeth, getting ready for bed etc can be done with love & care, one thing at a time, rather than through gritted teeth & feeling it’s a chore…thank you. Heather (Australia)
I just regret not having these teachings at an earlier stage in my life and career. But I’ve also learned in this video, regretting will keep me stuck. Instead, I need to accept the imperfect me, nurture and love myself for whom I am.
My inner wisdom and healer says thank you so much because I needed this right now and it allowed me to catch myself and turn towards a kinder self dialogue and tolerance for imperfections of our human condition and how beautiful it is to feel and think with heart open and knowing pain and suffering and joy or on a spectrum and I can feel them all because it’s human. And I can live with this and be flawed and not need to let go of the second arrow.
I’ve really been working on reparenting the past few years. My inner child does feel safer but she does still struggle. She resisted the kindness, initially, but did open to it a bit and I did start crying. Will keep working through these challenges.
I have been working on self compassion for a while now and was pleased that I was able to welcome my anxiety wave (always anxiety in the first instance) with the words ‘of course I can be with you’. I smiled and had a sigh of relief… but I really need to stay with that feeling. as soon as i divert my attention away, the anxiety stays but not in such a welcome way
Hi everyone! Ruth asked me to share how I will use this content. I am joining the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program in Feb 23. While I am more or less at peace with myself by now, I have a dear friend who is struggeling quite a lot with her self relation. I will try to connect her as soon as my time and her availability allows it. This is going to be a primer for use in my own teaching, which will address people who are most likely to have similar issues. Thank you.
❤ deep sadness and loving and gratefulness. Thank you Tara sharing and these free courses qnd videos. They are very impirtant and useful for us who can’t afford.
I honestly felt worse. My husband has beginning stage alz and I am so
stuck in feeling angry at him and then pity for me. And of course then I feel shame and a sense of great disappointment myself.
I have listen to many talks by you, and Jack Kornfield , Pema Chodron. Anyway you get what I am saying.
I recall, almost obsessively, lately how i am unhappy with how i spoke, or more accurately didnt speak enough to explain why i needed to end a recently begun relationship. I can regard my ineptitude, my withdrawl into fear and tongue-tied inarticulate brevity with forgiveness for the moments i am practicing mindfulness. But in short order, often in response to the sadness that accompanies this decision, i again find thoughts of critical self-judgement surfacing in my inner dialogue. I think i need a bunch more of “wash, rinse, and repeat” in my intimate relationship with Me. 😘
Hi everyone, I found it very difficult to think kindly & bring kindness to myself. I’ve had such a traumatic time in losing my job & relationship & the guilt & feeling I’m to blame for all this. I know being more kind & compassionate to myself will help me to move forward with a feeling of confidence & an energy to try new experiences & opportunities.
I’m very emotional & hyper sensitive to what’s going on in this world. Practice for me is key & along with my 40 day Mindfulness course & these videos, I can overcome all self doubts.
I also want to fight this anxiety of letting myself & others down & comparing my life with others & their success.
I also really like how the courses are short which helps me to focus & absorb the content more easily.
Thank you
Not sure how to be with what’s going on with kind attention
I felt a huge amount of comfort. It eased the anxiety that some life experiences are bringing. Thank you! I’ll be adopting this useful practice and perhaps helping others with it once I feel more practiced.
I felt resistance and I felt frozen in my discomfort. I felt the need to act and then judged myself for not allowing myself to break free of the self judgement. I am in an acute place of visceral judgement toward myself, however I know that I can break out of it I’m just unsure if it is available in this moment.
After 13 years of working as an Emergency Room Nurse I was given an amazing opportunity to work for a company Monday-Friday, no weekends and no holidays. This will allow me the be necessary time that I need in order to practice self care and I will finally be able to spend time with my family. After accepting the position I felt extremely unworthy and was filled with self doubt. I am happy to have this gentle reminder regarding kindness and compassion
I refused to believe it..current actions prove me defishent
Good afternoon, I’ve only recently started with a therapy to love myself as I am and to accept myself as I am. I love to hear what Tara teaches and to apply her life lessons.
My recent romantic rejection triggers the very last thing you said- I have evidence I am flawed. With Rejection of any kind, romantic, professional, social.. it seems the evidence of being flawed is there. With other issues, like lifestyle (things we are alone in) I can muster a little self compassion.
I too have been on a journey of opening my heart space to loving kindness, compassion and accpetance of self. It has been an arduous journey to say the least. Having an extremely complicated past, that has caused me to remain imprisoned by those who saught to do me harm, and I regret to say there were many. I have tried several methods, even within the meditation world. It wasn’t until I found you, Tara, that I noticed a true shift happening within me! I thank you so much for your love, guidance support and dedication to the betterment of humankind, and the great, wide world.
I am working through the challenges of taking a pause and being present for myself, no matter what arises in those moments. It is SO uncomfortable most of the time, even after so many years of practice. But I am finally seeing the veil lifting and I can be present for my body and self in a way that isn’t self-harming or defeating. Bringing kindness to my parts is so very challenging, but so incredibly worth it!! If I don’t show up for myself, who will?
I experienced chills and cold sensations moving from my feet upward through my legs and hips and into my abdomen while doing this process. At first I was afraid, since it was such an uncomfortable sensation. But I reminded myself it was not painful, just different and that empowered me with the freedom to embrace the sensations and allow my body to speak to me. It’s been speaking for years!! I’m just so grateful that I am finally listening. I have you to thank for that!
Thank you Tara, for all that you are and for all that you do! You are an amazing spirit and I am so thankful for your guidance through your talks and videos.
Your fellow healing human,
Kimberly
I’m in a relatively new relationship (at nearly 70) and can say that although it is so wonderful, the trance has gotten kicked up for sure by deeply loving someone else for a first time. Old messages and feelings come to a head, beliefs from childhood and trauma resurface. So this was a great reminder to be with it, to not run from it. My daily practices help. But having additional reminders helps even more. I have known Tara’s work for decades, having visited the Bethesda sangha and her you tubes, so her work is always helpful. Thanks for the share! The nudges are helpful in my getting over myself in a way–in a good way. Perspective is so very important. There is so much to be grateful for, and yet we also have old conditioning too which tells us otherwise. Learning to turn toward the Light of love while not ignoring suffering is the trick, isn’t it? Compassion and kindness are essential as we go about our lives. And to wake up, each and every day, each and every moment. I think that my practice is helping me appreciate this new relationship even more than those in my past. I am optimistic that it will guide me to be awake in ways not known to me before. And to know how to love more deeply–both him, me and us.
When I tried to bring self compassion to my feelings it felt incredibly expansive, like I was suddenly transported momentarily to a different realm.
It only lasted for a Nano second but that’s enough, having followed Tara for a few months now, to let me know more is possible. Thank you Tara Brach 🙏
Thank you, I added a soft hug to my self in this exercice.
When I asked myself “Can I be with this with kindness”
I could feel confusion arising,in the form of “I don’t know how to be kind to myself”
What does that look like?
and then some resistance and fear to moving away from an uncomfortable but seemingly safe place, that felt like my normal state, even though it’s unmanageable most of the time
a softening and warming
I’ve tried, over and over, to bring kindness to that hurt inner child, but here I am at 80 years, after decades of struggle, still caught in the trance of unworthiness and feeling like giving up and dying.
I had a negative experience with sisters. By focusing on self compassion I realized this was a pattern I had been dealing with since our youth. They would gang up against me. My goal is to continue to have a relationship with them so I just distanced myself from them, did not say anything and took time to heal myself. I realize the problem is their jealous issues. So I will forgive and go on without guilt and not try to fix it.
I thought about your words and adding kindness to the anxiety I was feeling. I decided to say to myself the things I would say to someone else, as I am preparing a home for a huge holiday get together. Doing all the work of cleaning, preparing and worrying about being judged and it being good enough. I decided to be my own best friend and compliment my hard work and love that I was showing by doing all the things I was doing. I also said No to going to a get together so I could not be so stressed for time. Thank you! I made a resolution to be my own best friend this year and you reminded me. I am glad I took the time this morning.
Felt more compassion and tenderness ..softening the harshness with self.
I think the biggest thing is actually allowing myself to be aware of my anxiety churning under the surface and my racing thoughts. I usually pretend they are not there. So for me to be kindly present was a brave step!
As I was preparing for my day and thinking of client appointments, I was watching this video. When I stopped to notice there was an existing heaviness in my chest. After I focused on being with the intent to bring kindness, I realized once again how important it is to get caught up in whatever. Thank you, Tara, I will be bringing this to my practice in session. It always amazes me how we forget to do that.
felt a sence that it (life) will be ok. Its okay to not be perfect and no one is exspecting me tobe.
Thanks
NONE of the video links work on 3/28/24
I actually felt more anxious.
I’ve struggled with this my entire life.
This is the last piece of my healing journey I need to work on.
And I sense it won’t be easy.
I had some awakening doing Vipassana, hearing myself again and again say sorry for my perceived mistakes, and then saying sorry to say sorry… I finally realized that I had to stop apologizing for being me. It was a long journey and today I am working and living a very satisfying life. I write this message from an island, my window facing the ocean. I will share this video to my patients. Thanks so much!
Thank you I’ve gotten loads from Vipassana as well and whole heartedly support and endorse anyone curious about exploring its methods or trying one of their short silent retreats
Nama Ste
Tara,
I thank you for these words of insight and wisdom. I have moving too fast as of late. This reminds me to sit with myself, again, and to be kind to myself. I’ve been on the journey of self-love, self-compassion, and self-acceptance for over 30 years. The lack of it still arises when I am going through a change. That’s where I am right now. Your words are a great reminder to return to “the way” of compassion for myself as I give it so freely to others. Thank you.
Hands together bowing, <3,
Angelina
I began to develop understanding
Feeling hopeful. And gratitude to you Tara. I will try and practise turning towards the feelings I am probably keeping busy to avoid. And examine. With kindness. And I will do this earlier in the day, ( or more often) as I often find I end up going to bed feeing heavy, weighed down, critical, unworthy…..Not a good recipe for rest and rejuvenation 🙏🏼❤️
Excellent talk. Exactly the kinds of things I’ve been thinking about, both for myself, and for my clients. Thank you, Tara! Can’t wait for the next video 💜. – Theresa
Just listening to her voice makes me feel calm and presence.
That’s all that matters to me.
Hello there. Paul here. I tried to allow my depressed emotions to be visited by kindness. It didn’t work for me. Maybe I didn’t try hard enough to allow that. Thank you.
May I suggest that if you keep offering yourself kindness it will get easier, rather like persevering with physical excercise eventually shows us getting nearer to fitness.
Tara,
I am grateful to you for sharing this story of your self at the beginning of your journey. I identify with the feelings you shared as I too lived in the trance of unworthiness for many years. And I too have found that I can move through the pain I habitually experienced by bringing the core feeling of unworthiness and self judgement to my consciousness. I have sought help and found healing but not until I realized that “the problem” was within me. And the solution was within me too. I needed to love myself. As I looked deeper I could see that my need for love had been unmet for most of my life. I blamed myself for the wounding I felt, as though I deserved to be punished. It has been many years since I found the path of my recovery and I am on that path every day and night 24/7.
I walk the path of belonging, of safety,
of loving kindness every day.
I especially love your image of the two wings of mindfulness and compassion.
Thank you for this offering.
Mimi A
I relaxed into knowing how exhausted my body is & can see how the rest of the nights activities, brushing my teeth, getting ready for bed etc can be done with love & care, one thing at a time, rather than through gritted teeth & feeling it’s a chore…thank you. Heather (Australia)
“happiness hopeful healed “
I feel a sense of care, love and grounding wash over me as I bring compassion to myself.
I just regret not having these teachings at an earlier stage in my life and career. But I’ve also learned in this video, regretting will keep me stuck. Instead, I need to accept the imperfect me, nurture and love myself for whom I am.
I dont like that different opinions are being met with hatred and anger. Thank you for your help to the world
I felt more grounded
I felt a sense of reassurance
the container within me widened and became lighter.
My inner wisdom and healer says thank you so much because I needed this right now and it allowed me to catch myself and turn towards a kinder self dialogue and tolerance for imperfections of our human condition and how beautiful it is to feel and think with heart open and knowing pain and suffering and joy or on a spectrum and I can feel them all because it’s human. And I can live with this and be flawed and not need to let go of the second arrow.
Namaste
I’ve really been working on reparenting the past few years. My inner child does feel safer but she does still struggle. She resisted the kindness, initially, but did open to it a bit and I did start crying. Will keep working through these challenges.
I have been working on self compassion for a while now and was pleased that I was able to welcome my anxiety wave (always anxiety in the first instance) with the words ‘of course I can be with you’. I smiled and had a sigh of relief… but I really need to stay with that feeling. as soon as i divert my attention away, the anxiety stays but not in such a welcome way
My mind kept skittering away….
Hi everyone! Ruth asked me to share how I will use this content. I am joining the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program in Feb 23. While I am more or less at peace with myself by now, I have a dear friend who is struggeling quite a lot with her self relation. I will try to connect her as soon as my time and her availability allows it. This is going to be a primer for use in my own teaching, which will address people who are most likely to have similar issues. Thank you.
❤ deep sadness and loving and gratefulness. Thank you Tara sharing and these free courses qnd videos. They are very impirtant and useful for us who can’t afford.
I felt the tightness in my chest lift and release.
Noticed less tension in my body. Gave myself a sense of opportunity to continue with my day. I felt love.
thank you for helping me to wake up
I honestly felt worse. My husband has beginning stage alz and I am so
stuck in feeling angry at him and then pity for me. And of course then I feel shame and a sense of great disappointment myself.
I have listen to many talks by you, and Jack Kornfield , Pema Chodron. Anyway you get what I am saying.
I am Not doing the work.
Lynn Frazer
I recall, almost obsessively, lately how i am unhappy with how i spoke, or more accurately didnt speak enough to explain why i needed to end a recently begun relationship. I can regard my ineptitude, my withdrawl into fear and tongue-tied inarticulate brevity with forgiveness for the moments i am practicing mindfulness. But in short order, often in response to the sadness that accompanies this decision, i again find thoughts of critical self-judgement surfacing in my inner dialogue. I think i need a bunch more of “wash, rinse, and repeat” in my intimate relationship with Me. 😘