I had just offered similar messages to a client, and found myself more able to offer myself the compassion I was encouraging the client to accept as a way to live as I teach more authentically.
Growing up as a child of parents, one of whom was a chronic alcoholic, there was no emotional honesty but there was plenty of anger. As my sister said in middle age, we grew up with no map, no way to navigate life. Listening to this, it’s still very new to feel kindness and compassion for myself. But it’s a relief and brings me hope. Thank you for this Tara and for all that you share.
This teaching is so timely for me right now, and I appreciate it so much. As I am already working on being compassionate, and caring for myself, my initial reaction was to see my younger self, and realize that I am still living with the residue of shame and self hatred. Simultaneously. I felt sadness and relief The end result is that I feel like I have direction to focus my healing. work! Thank you!
It was like coming home, to a warm and open safe place where every part of me can be sure to be allowed to just be. Gives me strength and connection to myself.
Thank you!
Both my clients and I benefit from this. There is a true epidemic of shame/unworthiness in this world. Combining Tara’s Radical Acceptance with Young’s Schema Therapy works wonders. Thank you Tara. Thank you.
Thank you Tara for sharing your vulnerability ! You are so wise, gentle and kind and you are an inspiration. It felt good to be with the “thunderstorm” of my belly contractions and tell them “it’s okay” instead of ignoring it. I have a long way to go, but grateful for the nano second progress.
Trey Parsons, Another Field, Oklahoma City, OK, USAsays
When I am kind to myself, I feel at peace.
By turning my attention toward “the watcher,” my inner critic dissipates its power over me, and I feel love and grace rather than contraction, shame, angst, and frustration.
Namaste, Y’all.
Thank you Trey for this practical sharing. I can so visualize “the watcher” now and it might be a great “hook” to connect with my inner angst and frustration. Namaste🥰
I felt resistance, coldness. The thought, the idea of kindness was present, but not feelings of warmth, softness, love. I know I can feel more tenderness for myself but practicing mindfulness more often would make that kindness more accessible.
I feel a wave of sadness. I’m 72 and after 19 years, in Jan i filed for a divorce from a man who, i realize now only used me and is incapable of loving anyone but himself. Although I am looking forward to the future and glad to be free from his toxicity, the disappointment and fear of the future is at times overwhelming. I am fairly isolated in my community because he is playing the victim. That said, I am looking forward to a much more peaceful life and more fulfilled life without him in it. I have hope for a better future. I have hope that I can learn to really know myself, which I think I have not before. I realize that this journey is just leading me to find myself. Thank you Tara, for sharing your healing journey.
I experienced an image of stepping outside myself and looking at myself with love, empathy and support. I imagined reaching out to wrap myself, like a hug, in this support.
I’m not there yet, Tara, but even the idea that I am allowed to be kind to myself, about myself, is very reassuring. I found myself smiling. Thank you for your ever-loving and unwavering presence.
Thank you for giving me hope in this time of my life, it’s challenging to acept what we cannot change and stay open but I can be my witness of life, thank you from my heart
I found myself thinking about how I hesitate to communicate with my life partner because I am worreid he will react to my words or misinterpret my ideas or thoughts in regard to how I think it would be useful for him to also listen to this tape and to be open to gain a deeper understanding to his feelings of self worth and his struggles with reacting to criticism or my suggestions that he needs to be more self reflective and perhaps meditate or do some inner work so that he doesn’t get angry so easily or overreact to situations or words that really are not what he suggests they are….basically we are struggling to communicate after over 40 years of marriage and 50+ years of knowing eachother.
We clearly love eachother and live very easily day to day, but I feel there could be more deep understanding and acceptance if we talked on a different level and both of us learnt to be more compassionate, kind and self accepting.
When I did the exercise.
After asking the first question what’s happening now? I felt a feeling of being stuck, fear that anything I do will result in falling short, so why bother trying. And I sat with these feelings of being stuck, complacency, lethargy. But I consciously was aware of not judging myself for feeling this way. I did what Tara suggested, and met myself in these feelings with self compassion.
When I did this, I felt a softening and the beginning of a feeling of hope. For some reason I wasn’t able to do it very long.
I liked the result, and want to become better/more consistent with being compassionate with myself.
Kelly Christenson, Another Field, Boise, ID, USAsays
Self compassion feels like a gentle wave of warmth, peaceful, and so whole. It is not the state we are conditioned to be in so requires a mindful commitment to practice.
Hello, first of all, thank you for your generosity in making accessible these videos/teachings.
While doing the practice I felt a warmth in my face and chest areas. Also a tickling and sense of expansion in my hands. Feeling moved I think that I can finally learn to be truly kind to myself, while cultivating acceptance to what life is offering to me at this present moment .
Bobbi Trudel, Another Field, Gloversville, NY, USAsays
What struck me the most was the beginning of your story. Your friend told you she was learning to become her own best friend. Somehow that concept allowed me to sit with my own feelings of deficiency with some kindness. Thank you for sharing.
When I brought kindness to my experience, what arose within me was patience, and the recognition that deep patience is what is needed to hold whatever is unfolding with continued kindness. I felt that having patience with myself is a form of kindness, and that I have this capacity because patience is a divine quality.
Namasté
Tara, I’ve been on a very painful journey of self acceptance over the past five months and after my husband, it’s been YOU who has been right there with me. Your meditations, talks and videos have been in my ear almost nonstop and have helped me through some very dark days. Thanks to you, I’m learning to accept myself, be kind and compassionate to myself and know that I am right where I am supposed to be and can handle what life sends my way. I honestly can’t thank you enough for the work you do and how profoundly you have touched my life.
With love and gratitude,
Ann
Samantha Bolognese, Another Field, Arvada, CO, USAsays
My negative thoughts shifted to a sense of calmness and low for myself. I reminded myself all the things I love about me. That it is ok to feel these emotions and nurture myself. To turn inward and give myself the love I tend to always put outward. If I talked to myself the way I talk to others, my mind would be a much happier place.
Catherine Crawford, Another Field, Philadelphia, PA, USAsays
maybe I’m not that evolved yet but but when I try to look at myself with kindness. I get a resounding ‘no’ from myself. after 65 years of never being married, having long term relationships turn to rejection (and they marry the next person within a year) there is definitely something ‘wrong’ with me. it’s going to take time
I experience my life in this new place I call the road of unconditional love, I have been here for about a year I feel like I moved to a neighborhood and don’t know anyone or where anything is and what they do here. I have alot of information however information is only a beginning and then it must be used to bring about a change so the change the goodness the life without chaos, trauma, all because of my perspective has changed in how I view life and all the experiences I no longer ger what I call “stuck in the story of the day” where my delima comes is every time I get to a conscious place of love for myself and what path I chose I step backwards into not being so kind you know that comfort zone. I have to really take baby steps. I can do trauma chaos hurt all day long but this kindness and love that I now have almost for now has to be talked about or felt in very small doses as if to not awaken the sleeping lion. I know in time it will become a part of me and it will like all other things become automatic and a habit but for now I am still feeling the urge to remove the joy from my heart when i see that it is truly just for me to be able to share that love with myself and others. I have also noticed that when I make a choice for an action I sometimes do not see my true intention until the results are apparent. I guess the best way to explain that is I tell myself I have planted a beautiful banana tree and will share banana with everyone I love then it blooms and its an apple tree. So I use video’s such as your for encouragement to keep going. I need constant reminders of where I am and my intention for the path I chose. I have been walking toward the path for many years over 40 now. about 12 years ago I woke up and found a world that I never was conscious in. It was as if I walked into the dark at a very young age and the only way out was to walk back through my life and that took as long as it took going. I am here now and have adapted to the new road and have made so much progress and developed so many seedlings of virtuous behavior and I am proud of the woman I am today. However, I still see the depth of my ingrained tracks of survival in my brain that filet my choices sometimes and I am not as loving and kind to myself as I am with others. I want to break out of this subconscious and sometimes conscious thinking so that my choices are not based on fear or the past hurts but on the wisdom I have gained along the journey. lets just say this part of the journey is telling. I loved your video and I understand completely how much work it took for you to get where you are!
When I asked myself, if I could be with whatever feeling was in the present moment, I noticed a sense of opening up of letting be whatever is in this present moment a sense of space opening up
Thank you so much Tara for all you do- your a crusader: your meditations and talks are changing my attitudes, and life- am calmer, more loving, even through fear and uncertainty and so very grateful.
Thank you again.
Rachel 🙏❤️
Elaine Klenberg, Another Field, Brooklyn, NY, USAsays
I had this image of me sitting beside myself and nurturing myself. I saw me gently pushing me to do things that were important for self care, like exercising and eating well. I noticed that I needed to be there as a coach with understanding rather than a judgmental jerk. Being harsh and critical was doing nothing for me but making me feel bad.
marci nemhauser, Psychology, Mercer Island WA 98040, US, WA, USAsays
It was so powerful to hear you name out loud what I feel inside: self-loathing, self-hatred. When I tried to bring kindness to myself, at first I felt panicky, like I didn’t know how. But as I sat with myself, I felt a slight opening to the possibility of self compassion.
Thanks
I experienced a great sadness, and when I brought kindness to it, it softened and became much more bearable. Thank you for sharing your story and the practice 🙏🏻
I realised I’m full of anxiety about a forthcoming trip to am important family event. And I’m not well. When I asked if I could be with this, with kindness, I wrapped my arms around myself. I told my self “yes I can”.
Part of me felt I ‘shouldn’t’ be feeling anything negative or ‘awkward’. I was brought up to be a ‘good’ little girl, quiet, kind, obedient, helpful with my younger brothers, never any trouble, always healthy and undemanding.
It’s hard work changing that. I’m 70 and still trying.
Listening to this, I see I’m making some progress. That was good to recognise.
Thank you Tara.
I felt or rather became aware of the fact that I was judging/criticizing myself, feeling guilty for not having more self care. When asking how can I do this with kindness, it felt lighter, in a way ok and I realised I am in a freeze moment
Steve Mabley, Another Field, Washington, DC, USAsays
When I asked myself be open to holding myself with care and compassion, a flood of feeling arose..tears. not sure nehat was behind it, but it felt new… like on opening.
When I held myself with compassion, floods of tears and discontentment surfaced. I also understood that being with this, holding myself with no judgment would open the doors of my heart. Holding my hand as my own best friend will lead me forward with more self love and awareness.
Good talk. Please get rid of the background music, which is very annoying.
I had just offered similar messages to a client, and found myself more able to offer myself the compassion I was encouraging the client to accept as a way to live as I teach more authentically.
I felt more spaciousness and a sense of calm.
Growing up as a child of parents, one of whom was a chronic alcoholic, there was no emotional honesty but there was plenty of anger. As my sister said in middle age, we grew up with no map, no way to navigate life. Listening to this, it’s still very new to feel kindness and compassion for myself. But it’s a relief and brings me hope. Thank you for this Tara and for all that you share.
This teaching is so timely for me right now, and I appreciate it so much. As I am already working on being compassionate, and caring for myself, my initial reaction was to see my younger self, and realize that I am still living with the residue of shame and self hatred. Simultaneously. I felt sadness and relief The end result is that I feel like I have direction to focus my healing. work! Thank you!
It was like coming home, to a warm and open safe place where every part of me can be sure to be allowed to just be. Gives me strength and connection to myself.
Thank you!
Both my clients and I benefit from this. There is a true epidemic of shame/unworthiness in this world. Combining Tara’s Radical Acceptance with Young’s Schema Therapy works wonders. Thank you Tara. Thank you.
Thank you Tara for sharing your vulnerability ! You are so wise, gentle and kind and you are an inspiration. It felt good to be with the “thunderstorm” of my belly contractions and tell them “it’s okay” instead of ignoring it. I have a long way to go, but grateful for the nano second progress.
When I am kind to myself, I feel at peace.
By turning my attention toward “the watcher,” my inner critic dissipates its power over me, and I feel love and grace rather than contraction, shame, angst, and frustration.
Namaste, Y’all.
Thank you Trey for this practical sharing. I can so visualize “the watcher” now and it might be a great “hook” to connect with my inner angst and frustration. Namaste🥰
When I asked ” can I be with this feeling of numbness with kindness?” my numbness started to soften. thank you for this series.
I felt much warmth towards myself… I am constantly practicing to be kind to myself so Im pleased.
i learned patience is that what is needed the most along with peace and presence, no thoughts, it works ! here and now
I felt resistance, coldness. The thought, the idea of kindness was present, but not feelings of warmth, softness, love. I know I can feel more tenderness for myself but practicing mindfulness more often would make that kindness more accessible.
I felt gratitude for the work.
I feel a wave of sadness. I’m 72 and after 19 years, in Jan i filed for a divorce from a man who, i realize now only used me and is incapable of loving anyone but himself. Although I am looking forward to the future and glad to be free from his toxicity, the disappointment and fear of the future is at times overwhelming. I am fairly isolated in my community because he is playing the victim. That said, I am looking forward to a much more peaceful life and more fulfilled life without him in it. I have hope for a better future. I have hope that I can learn to really know myself, which I think I have not before. I realize that this journey is just leading me to find myself. Thank you Tara, for sharing your healing journey.
I felt happy, a sense of relief that I am not alone.
I thought about how old and unattractive I am. I thought “This is a judgment.” Then I thought,” How can I be kind to myself?”
I experienced an image of stepping outside myself and looking at myself with love, empathy and support. I imagined reaching out to wrap myself, like a hug, in this support.
I started to see my feelings and emotions from a different place -so to speak- in a way that made me feel more calm. It was subtle, but it was there.
I felt sad and shed some unexpected tears, feels like there’s a flood of tears inside me.
I’m not there yet, Tara, but even the idea that I am allowed to be kind to myself, about myself, is very reassuring. I found myself smiling. Thank you for your ever-loving and unwavering presence.
Thank you for giving me hope in this time of my life, it’s challenging to acept what we cannot change and stay open but I can be my witness of life, thank you from my heart
I found myself thinking about how I hesitate to communicate with my life partner because I am worreid he will react to my words or misinterpret my ideas or thoughts in regard to how I think it would be useful for him to also listen to this tape and to be open to gain a deeper understanding to his feelings of self worth and his struggles with reacting to criticism or my suggestions that he needs to be more self reflective and perhaps meditate or do some inner work so that he doesn’t get angry so easily or overreact to situations or words that really are not what he suggests they are….basically we are struggling to communicate after over 40 years of marriage and 50+ years of knowing eachother.
We clearly love eachother and live very easily day to day, but I feel there could be more deep understanding and acceptance if we talked on a different level and both of us learnt to be more compassionate, kind and self accepting.
When I did the exercise.
After asking the first question what’s happening now? I felt a feeling of being stuck, fear that anything I do will result in falling short, so why bother trying. And I sat with these feelings of being stuck, complacency, lethargy. But I consciously was aware of not judging myself for feeling this way. I did what Tara suggested, and met myself in these feelings with self compassion.
When I did this, I felt a softening and the beginning of a feeling of hope. For some reason I wasn’t able to do it very long.
I liked the result, and want to become better/more consistent with being compassionate with myself.
Self compassion feels like a gentle wave of warmth, peaceful, and so whole. It is not the state we are conditioned to be in so requires a mindful commitment to practice.
Hello, first of all, thank you for your generosity in making accessible these videos/teachings.
While doing the practice I felt a warmth in my face and chest areas. Also a tickling and sense of expansion in my hands. Feeling moved I think that I can finally learn to be truly kind to myself, while cultivating acceptance to what life is offering to me at this present moment .
What struck me the most was the beginning of your story. Your friend told you she was learning to become her own best friend. Somehow that concept allowed me to sit with my own feelings of deficiency with some kindness. Thank you for sharing.
When I brought kindness to my experience, what arose within me was patience, and the recognition that deep patience is what is needed to hold whatever is unfolding with continued kindness. I felt that having patience with myself is a form of kindness, and that I have this capacity because patience is a divine quality.
Namasté
Tara, I’ve been on a very painful journey of self acceptance over the past five months and after my husband, it’s been YOU who has been right there with me. Your meditations, talks and videos have been in my ear almost nonstop and have helped me through some very dark days. Thanks to you, I’m learning to accept myself, be kind and compassionate to myself and know that I am right where I am supposed to be and can handle what life sends my way. I honestly can’t thank you enough for the work you do and how profoundly you have touched my life.
With love and gratitude,
Ann
My negative thoughts shifted to a sense of calmness and low for myself. I reminded myself all the things I love about me. That it is ok to feel these emotions and nurture myself. To turn inward and give myself the love I tend to always put outward. If I talked to myself the way I talk to others, my mind would be a much happier place.
Thank you for offering your work for free to send love to the whole Planet
I saw another me tending to a wounded and vulnerable and broken self x
maybe I’m not that evolved yet but but when I try to look at myself with kindness. I get a resounding ‘no’ from myself. after 65 years of never being married, having long term relationships turn to rejection (and they marry the next person within a year) there is definitely something ‘wrong’ with me. it’s going to take time
I feel clarity when I open to self compassion…kindness…knowing I’m there for me.
I felt a wave of calm washing over my anxiety
I experience my life in this new place I call the road of unconditional love, I have been here for about a year I feel like I moved to a neighborhood and don’t know anyone or where anything is and what they do here. I have alot of information however information is only a beginning and then it must be used to bring about a change so the change the goodness the life without chaos, trauma, all because of my perspective has changed in how I view life and all the experiences I no longer ger what I call “stuck in the story of the day” where my delima comes is every time I get to a conscious place of love for myself and what path I chose I step backwards into not being so kind you know that comfort zone. I have to really take baby steps. I can do trauma chaos hurt all day long but this kindness and love that I now have almost for now has to be talked about or felt in very small doses as if to not awaken the sleeping lion. I know in time it will become a part of me and it will like all other things become automatic and a habit but for now I am still feeling the urge to remove the joy from my heart when i see that it is truly just for me to be able to share that love with myself and others. I have also noticed that when I make a choice for an action I sometimes do not see my true intention until the results are apparent. I guess the best way to explain that is I tell myself I have planted a beautiful banana tree and will share banana with everyone I love then it blooms and its an apple tree. So I use video’s such as your for encouragement to keep going. I need constant reminders of where I am and my intention for the path I chose. I have been walking toward the path for many years over 40 now. about 12 years ago I woke up and found a world that I never was conscious in. It was as if I walked into the dark at a very young age and the only way out was to walk back through my life and that took as long as it took going. I am here now and have adapted to the new road and have made so much progress and developed so many seedlings of virtuous behavior and I am proud of the woman I am today. However, I still see the depth of my ingrained tracks of survival in my brain that filet my choices sometimes and I am not as loving and kind to myself as I am with others. I want to break out of this subconscious and sometimes conscious thinking so that my choices are not based on fear or the past hurts but on the wisdom I have gained along the journey. lets just say this part of the journey is telling. I loved your video and I understand completely how much work it took for you to get where you are!
I felt sadness and grief… sense of loss of time lost.
When I asked myself, if I could be with whatever feeling was in the present moment, I noticed a sense of opening up of letting be whatever is in this present moment a sense of space opening up
Sad for feeling unworthy as child. Offering care now feels lonely
Thank you so much Tara for all you do- your a crusader: your meditations and talks are changing my attitudes, and life- am calmer, more loving, even through fear and uncertainty and so very grateful.
Thank you again.
Rachel 🙏❤️
I felt a release and a heartfelt easing
I had this image of me sitting beside myself and nurturing myself. I saw me gently pushing me to do things that were important for self care, like exercising and eating well. I noticed that I needed to be there as a coach with understanding rather than a judgmental jerk. Being harsh and critical was doing nothing for me but making me feel bad.
It was so powerful to hear you name out loud what I feel inside: self-loathing, self-hatred. When I tried to bring kindness to myself, at first I felt panicky, like I didn’t know how. But as I sat with myself, I felt a slight opening to the possibility of self compassion.
Thanks
The idea of greeting where you are with kindness and “it’s ok”.
I experienced a great sadness, and when I brought kindness to it, it softened and became much more bearable. Thank you for sharing your story and the practice 🙏🏻
After I practiced being/feeling kind to myself, the heaviness inside me started becoming less intense, almost immediately.
I felt sadness and softening in body along with some frustration (wishing it could be different).
Great sadness and grief.
Painful failures
I realised I’m full of anxiety about a forthcoming trip to am important family event. And I’m not well. When I asked if I could be with this, with kindness, I wrapped my arms around myself. I told my self “yes I can”.
Part of me felt I ‘shouldn’t’ be feeling anything negative or ‘awkward’. I was brought up to be a ‘good’ little girl, quiet, kind, obedient, helpful with my younger brothers, never any trouble, always healthy and undemanding.
It’s hard work changing that. I’m 70 and still trying.
Listening to this, I see I’m making some progress. That was good to recognise.
Thank you Tara.
I felt or rather became aware of the fact that I was judging/criticizing myself, feeling guilty for not having more self care. When asking how can I do this with kindness, it felt lighter, in a way ok and I realised I am in a freeze moment
When I asked myself be open to holding myself with care and compassion, a flood of feeling arose..tears. not sure nehat was behind it, but it felt new… like on opening.
When I held myself with compassion, floods of tears and discontentment surfaced. I also understood that being with this, holding myself with no judgment would open the doors of my heart. Holding my hand as my own best friend will lead me forward with more self love and awareness.