WHEN I ASKED MYSELF WHAT’S GOING ON RIGHT NOW, I SAID I’M IN TREMNDOUS PAIN FROM MY FIBROMYALGIA… THEN I ASKED IF I COULD SIT WITH THIS PAIN AND OFFER MYSELF KINDNESS AND COMPASSION AND IN DOING SO I FELT A SENSE OF RELIEF, AN OPENING TO LET GO AND A KNOWING THAT IT’S OK TO BE WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW….
I have been at this for a long time. I forget far too often to ask the questions. The hardest thing I have ever done is to work at silencing the inner critic which is cruel and unrelenting torment. I have tamed it a lot over the years but it still seems to have a say in things. With the technique you teach I have realized my isolation was to escape the relentless criticism ,when I attempted to engage with another; work, friend,casual encounters, it didn’t seem to matter, a barrage of criticism erupted in my thought. “You shouldn’t have said that, done that, your so stupid… Solved the mystery of why I could only take people in very small doses. I wasn’t escaping from them but from the inner critic. Good piece of information to have.
When I close my eyes and breathe, I begin to relax, but also can feel the undercurrent of anxiety that is always present. Tara’s story was calming and made me feel warm and more settled. Thank you.
I feel blood running through my veins, feel energized, my neck relaxing, all of a sudden feelings of love. Sometimes I get Euphoric as I realize to be able to break free, step out of my little thinking. I feel connected.
Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly, Mo. I, too, am stuck in feelings of unworthiness that generate anxiety, defensiveness, criticism of myself and others, irritability, jealousy and an inflated ego. I am grateful to have discovered Tara who, through her own exploration, has found a way to practice self-compassion and open to a deeper connection with herself and others. In my early practice of mindfulness and self-compassion, I have experienced cracks in the concrete you describe and I am hopeful. I wish you – and all of us – well on this journey.
As an EFT Practitioner working on my personal path to My-Self-Love, and with my clients on their path to Self-Love, I felt Tara’s soothing energy of allowing and compassion so strongly.
Loving Kindness and self-compassion are the keys that unlock the door to receiving from within the love we seek, which has its Source in each of us.
Self-Love, and therefore, Love, is our birthright. Life is a journey of remembering and coming back to that inner truth. Also recognising that the inner critic is just trying to keep us safe in ways that self-sabotage and do not serve our highest and greatest good.
Tara, thank you for this compassionate start to my new day here on planet Earth. Recognising – Allowing- Investigating – Nurturing, these are the keys to reconnecting with Our-Self-Love.
I had the thought, “It’s OK Brett, you’re OK, you’re going to be OK, and you’re still a good person, even with all of the anxiety, addictions, unexpressed creativity, and people that you’ve hurt and that have hurt you.”
The part of me that’s not me (source energy) gave me a huge hug.
I softened and tears began to flow down my cheeks. I felt the call to hug the part that had worked so hard to keep me vigilant which had created a malady of anxious decision making and superflouous refuge from life. My mother was a borderline. I was the oldest of 8 children. My stubborness and vigilant inner critic of myself began long ago kept me from becoming a borderline as well I think and I kept trying to prove I was ok and yet there was never enough I could do, be or have that make ‘ok’ fit. So, this first vidio just opened me up and let me really be aware of what it was like growing up instead of being stubborn, reactive, analytical, vigilant, expectant of shoe to drop or protective and scared in any way. I have always loveddeeply. There are 2 suicides, 1 overdose in my siblings and my mother tried to kill herself 3 times before dying. Needless to say, I never could just be Lygialee. But now, at 71 I am able to apply “RAIN and listen to Tara in moments such as these and cry. Thank you so much for this session and I look forward to the next. Many blessings to you for stories of your life that open my heart and mind to mine. Then, I can change them. Love, Lygia
Tears and acceptance of being with the part of myself that is relentlessly punishing and unforgiving, embodied recognition that whole hearted compassion is the only way.
Thank you Tara for sharing your wisdom and kindness with the world. Thank you for giving us these space.
Our healing starts with awareness, and in my experience meditation gives me the practice to be aware, but I wasn’t able to meditate until I learn not to judge myself in meditation.
Wishing you all the best.
That my struggles are real, that I’ve grown so much since I started to become more aware of the self criticism, and negative self talk, and really started diving into mindfulness and self love. I’ve had several teachers during this process, including more recently Tara whose shared wisdom I listen to on a regular basis. (Thank you Tara and all guiders)
Now I have a new struggle in front of me, life (or I) am actively challenging myself to embrace this change. Choosing love for myself is the ultimate decision, not romantic love. But love of myself. What do I really want.
Can’t wait to see the next video!
It was difficult to bring kindness because I feel that I have the same struggles over and over again, like a loop. It need patience and confidence in my ability to heal. But I am so grateful for knowing this practices and teachers like Tara Brach and others, Pema chodrom, Kristen Neff, because I know I am in the path. And I can see there are people like me and I am not alone.
I am very grateful that I wasn’t raised with the belief system that I was born with original sin.
In doing this short practice, noticed I am able to have compassion for myself, and start to develop trust in my inner wisdom.
I continue working on my defensiveness and judgements daily with my mindful practice.
It is a practice.
I was involved in a minor motor accident last week which thankfully did not result in either injury or damage. I I forgave myself for my mistake, and my humanity, which gave rise to feelings of shame and unworthiness. I accepted that my mistake wasn’t who I am and that I am lovable, and loved, and so deserving of my own love. And I expressed gratitude for everyone’s health and safety.
My mother died last week, 98 years old, and that has brought me a feeling of lonelyness and anxiety for the nearest future, since I was very close to my mother. But I find that natural and see it as a challenge.
In relation to selfworthiness I’m more worried about how my sister, nephews, etc. will treat me afterwards. And that fear comes from my feeling of being worthy of their love and respect.
I felt numb.
Feelings of not being worthy, there’s something wrong with me, deep sadness and grief came up…I can give kindness to this wounded place. But I just felt numb and not sure of how to do that
I feel stolid, dull, immovable. I don’t know how to direct compassion towards myself after all these years of mindfulness training, of therapy. I deal well with others – love and understanding flows easily. I’m not in pain, just hemmed in.
I felt better. I put my hand on my chest and I felt openess in my heart. I got in contact with my inner child and i was able to talk with it with kindness: “You are trying your best. It is ok. You are not alone. I will take care of you”.
Dena Mitchell, Physical Therapy, Davis , CA, USAsays
I was able to observe the anxiety of an upcoming event, and attempt to supportive to myself. Effort to be kind to myself and trust in my innate value, versus judge myself for feeling insecure about it and anticipating a negative outcome. The roadblock at times is truly believing the nurturing words I say to myself , instead of the ingrained negative self sabotage of the past . But it’s worth the effort to keep at it! Thank you !
Thank you tara, very helpfull. I ve found that the main door to open for me is self compassion. once I ve managed to open this door, it opens all the other doors.
Thankyou Tara. So current for me. The shame of my unworthiness keeps it in place. It is buried deep, laid down young and its paired with loneliness. Loved the story of your hike. That facing it/expressing the pain of it can be a portal to self compassion….this is liberating/lightening…I feel a softening of my/heart… so potentially freeing.
I don’t know how to bring kindness to my feelings of sadness of my separation from others. recognizing how I am feeling is a step. I do judge and blame others rather than being aware of me. it is easier for me to judge others than to judge myself.
I felt so paralysed by my self loathing. I feel like a complete fraud and struggle to get to feel compassion for the woman cowering behind the defensive walls I have built so that others won’t notice how unworthy I really am. I really struggled with “can I be here with this with compassion”. It is really difficult to shine the light of compassion into my life after a lifetime of self judgement and condemnation.
There is a similar belief in a certain spiritual practice that G-d asks you only one question when we die: “Did you live your life truly?”
thank you so very much for providing such beautiful, insightful content.
I express my trance of unworthiness as “I’m not good enough”… it goes back to my egocentric teenage self who sits on my shoulder and whispers in my ear… “if you don’t ask them to dance you won’t get hurt”… so I do nothing, or, I convince myself by leaving “I’m gonna show them”. And so when I experience this happening I first, try not to react… rather, use RAIN and let it wash over me and realize, I’m good enough. I am good enough.
I become aware of how I’m taking my big fears around a current scary parenting situation and immediately turning them into a “to do” and something I MUST solve as soon as possible (or else, my mind tells me, some worst case scenario will surely play out). In finding my awareness of my parenting challenge, and pausing there, without going straight into problem-solving or fearing forward, I felt compelled to give myself a little hug, which was cool and new! However the most powerful part was how it quickly dawned on me that this new feeling-state, could actually be a MORE powerful and effective platform from which to approach the challenge. Thank you!!
When I try to give myself compassion, I am unable to access my heart. I see a solid piece of earth or rock that is preventing access. I’m beginning loving kindness meditation through Tara and Jack Kornfield’s course “The Power of Awareness” through Sounds True, and am seeing cracks in that rock, but I don’t have a sense of what I am looking for.
I felt surprise and a funny mixy feeling in my stomach- like a concrete mixer turns its contents over. Then I realized I really might become my own best friend… rather than continuing to accommodate that old berating -presence. Maybe since this whole thing was Tara’s idea, I trust this notion and am considering a change.
My self judgement is constantly reinforced by my living situation. For financial reasons, I live with a partner from whom I separated seven years ago, as well as our 14 year old son. There is always tension when we are together. My judgements are rarely recognized or spoken, even within myself. Yet too old, too forgetful, too self centered are always in the background. There is a rigidity to this psychic foundation. But when I listened to you ask that we consider our own pain with compassion, I felt a softening, slight but definite, to my self judgement. I am hopeful this can grow through the next weeks of this course.
WHEN I ASKED MYSELF WHAT’S GOING ON RIGHT NOW, I SAID I’M IN TREMNDOUS PAIN FROM MY FIBROMYALGIA… THEN I ASKED IF I COULD SIT WITH THIS PAIN AND OFFER MYSELF KINDNESS AND COMPASSION AND IN DOING SO I FELT A SENSE OF RELIEF, AN OPENING TO LET GO AND A KNOWING THAT IT’S OK TO BE WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW….
I heard the minister and family say: you have sinned and need to be saved. you cannot do it by yourself. you need a saviour
bringing awareness and kindness to my present experience helped to settle my mind and feel a sense of grounding peace
The feeling softened
My attention took me to the tension in my shoulders and an impatience of wanting to do anything else.
I have been at this for a long time. I forget far too often to ask the questions. The hardest thing I have ever done is to work at silencing the inner critic which is cruel and unrelenting torment. I have tamed it a lot over the years but it still seems to have a say in things. With the technique you teach I have realized my isolation was to escape the relentless criticism ,when I attempted to engage with another; work, friend,casual encounters, it didn’t seem to matter, a barrage of criticism erupted in my thought. “You shouldn’t have said that, done that, your so stupid… Solved the mystery of why I could only take people in very small doses. I wasn’t escaping from them but from the inner critic. Good piece of information to have.
When I close my eyes and breathe, I begin to relax, but also can feel the undercurrent of anxiety that is always present. Tara’s story was calming and made me feel warm and more settled. Thank you.
I feel blood running through my veins, feel energized, my neck relaxing, all of a sudden feelings of love. Sometimes I get Euphoric as I realize to be able to break free, step out of my little thinking. I feel connected.
Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly, Mo. I, too, am stuck in feelings of unworthiness that generate anxiety, defensiveness, criticism of myself and others, irritability, jealousy and an inflated ego. I am grateful to have discovered Tara who, through her own exploration, has found a way to practice self-compassion and open to a deeper connection with herself and others. In my early practice of mindfulness and self-compassion, I have experienced cracks in the concrete you describe and I am hopeful. I wish you – and all of us – well on this journey.
Calm, . . . that’s what happened
As an EFT Practitioner working on my personal path to My-Self-Love, and with my clients on their path to Self-Love, I felt Tara’s soothing energy of allowing and compassion so strongly.
Loving Kindness and self-compassion are the keys that unlock the door to receiving from within the love we seek, which has its Source in each of us.
Self-Love, and therefore, Love, is our birthright. Life is a journey of remembering and coming back to that inner truth. Also recognising that the inner critic is just trying to keep us safe in ways that self-sabotage and do not serve our highest and greatest good.
Tara, thank you for this compassionate start to my new day here on planet Earth. Recognising – Allowing- Investigating – Nurturing, these are the keys to reconnecting with Our-Self-Love.
Margot Khan, EFT International Practitioner, NYC
I had the thought, “It’s OK Brett, you’re OK, you’re going to be OK, and you’re still a good person, even with all of the anxiety, addictions, unexpressed creativity, and people that you’ve hurt and that have hurt you.”
The part of me that’s not me (source energy) gave me a huge hug.
Thank you for this perfectly timed video, Tara!
I softened and tears began to flow down my cheeks. I felt the call to hug the part that had worked so hard to keep me vigilant which had created a malady of anxious decision making and superflouous refuge from life. My mother was a borderline. I was the oldest of 8 children. My stubborness and vigilant inner critic of myself began long ago kept me from becoming a borderline as well I think and I kept trying to prove I was ok and yet there was never enough I could do, be or have that make ‘ok’ fit. So, this first vidio just opened me up and let me really be aware of what it was like growing up instead of being stubborn, reactive, analytical, vigilant, expectant of shoe to drop or protective and scared in any way. I have always loveddeeply. There are 2 suicides, 1 overdose in my siblings and my mother tried to kill herself 3 times before dying. Needless to say, I never could just be Lygialee. But now, at 71 I am able to apply “RAIN and listen to Tara in moments such as these and cry. Thank you so much for this session and I look forward to the next. Many blessings to you for stories of your life that open my heart and mind to mine. Then, I can change them. Love, Lygia
When practicing the exercise, I felt a relaxing and a feeling of what I was doing was enough. Who I am is enough.
Im excited for the next video.
Just knowing there is hope helps. Thank you.
I felt sadness and had thoughts of very vulnerable moments. I hugged myself.
Tears and acceptance of being with the part of myself that is relentlessly punishing and unforgiving, embodied recognition that whole hearted compassion is the only way.
Desire to give myself compassion and care.
I just want to express my profound appreciation for Tara’s work…it has been a life-saving experience for me listening to her.
Thank you Tara for sharing your wisdom and kindness with the world. Thank you for giving us these space.
Our healing starts with awareness, and in my experience meditation gives me the practice to be aware, but I wasn’t able to meditate until I learn not to judge myself in meditation.
Wishing you all the best.
That my struggles are real, that I’ve grown so much since I started to become more aware of the self criticism, and negative self talk, and really started diving into mindfulness and self love. I’ve had several teachers during this process, including more recently Tara whose shared wisdom I listen to on a regular basis. (Thank you Tara and all guiders)
Now I have a new struggle in front of me, life (or I) am actively challenging myself to embrace this change. Choosing love for myself is the ultimate decision, not romantic love. But love of myself. What do I really want.
Can’t wait to see the next video!
I felt peace and aceptance.
It was difficult to bring kindness because I feel that I have the same struggles over and over again, like a loop. It need patience and confidence in my ability to heal. But I am so grateful for knowing this practices and teachers like Tara Brach and others, Pema chodrom, Kristen Neff, because I know I am in the path. And I can see there are people like me and I am not alone.
I smiled. 🙂🙏
I am very grateful that I wasn’t raised with the belief system that I was born with original sin.
In doing this short practice, noticed I am able to have compassion for myself, and start to develop trust in my inner wisdom.
I continue working on my defensiveness and judgements daily with my mindful practice.
It is a practice.
felt sad and tearful
I felt comforted and loved and then I cried
tears and hope
Thanks for sharing with us about your experience Tara. . I feel I need to practice this a few times to get the benefit 💕
I was involved in a minor motor accident last week which thankfully did not result in either injury or damage. I I forgave myself for my mistake, and my humanity, which gave rise to feelings of shame and unworthiness. I accepted that my mistake wasn’t who I am and that I am lovable, and loved, and so deserving of my own love. And I expressed gratitude for everyone’s health and safety.
My mother died last week, 98 years old, and that has brought me a feeling of lonelyness and anxiety for the nearest future, since I was very close to my mother. But I find that natural and see it as a challenge.
In relation to selfworthiness I’m more worried about how my sister, nephews, etc. will treat me afterwards. And that fear comes from my feeling of being worthy of their love and respect.
I felt deep sadness and a sense of returning to myself.
I felt numb.
Feelings of not being worthy, there’s something wrong with me, deep sadness and grief came up…I can give kindness to this wounded place. But I just felt numb and not sure of how to do that
I feel stolid, dull, immovable. I don’t know how to direct compassion towards myself after all these years of mindfulness training, of therapy. I deal well with others – love and understanding flows easily. I’m not in pain, just hemmed in.
I felt better. I put my hand on my chest and I felt openess in my heart. I got in contact with my inner child and i was able to talk with it with kindness: “You are trying your best. It is ok. You are not alone. I will take care of you”.
Thanks!!!
Felt numb
I was able to observe the anxiety of an upcoming event, and attempt to supportive to myself. Effort to be kind to myself and trust in my innate value, versus judge myself for feeling insecure about it and anticipating a negative outcome. The roadblock at times is truly believing the nurturing words I say to myself , instead of the ingrained negative self sabotage of the past . But it’s worth the effort to keep at it! Thank you !
LONELINESS. I was able to take the little girl me in my arms to give her unconditional love.
Thank you tara, very helpfull. I ve found that the main door to open for me is self compassion. once I ve managed to open this door, it opens all the other doors.
Thankyou Tara. So current for me. The shame of my unworthiness keeps it in place. It is buried deep, laid down young and its paired with loneliness. Loved the story of your hike. That facing it/expressing the pain of it can be a portal to self compassion….this is liberating/lightening…I feel a softening of my/heart… so potentially freeing.
I don’t know how to bring kindness to my feelings of sadness of my separation from others. recognizing how I am feeling is a step. I do judge and blame others rather than being aware of me. it is easier for me to judge others than to judge myself.
I felt so paralysed by my self loathing. I feel like a complete fraud and struggle to get to feel compassion for the woman cowering behind the defensive walls I have built so that others won’t notice how unworthy I really am. I really struggled with “can I be here with this with compassion”. It is really difficult to shine the light of compassion into my life after a lifetime of self judgement and condemnation.
There is a similar belief in a certain spiritual practice that G-d asks you only one question when we die: “Did you live your life truly?”
thank you so very much for providing such beautiful, insightful content.
In the hope for better days,
Shaunna
I felt very calm and in-tune for those brief moments, with myself.
I express my trance of unworthiness as “I’m not good enough”… it goes back to my egocentric teenage self who sits on my shoulder and whispers in my ear… “if you don’t ask them to dance you won’t get hurt”… so I do nothing, or, I convince myself by leaving “I’m gonna show them”. And so when I experience this happening I first, try not to react… rather, use RAIN and let it wash over me and realize, I’m good enough. I am good enough.
I become aware of how I’m taking my big fears around a current scary parenting situation and immediately turning them into a “to do” and something I MUST solve as soon as possible (or else, my mind tells me, some worst case scenario will surely play out). In finding my awareness of my parenting challenge, and pausing there, without going straight into problem-solving or fearing forward, I felt compelled to give myself a little hug, which was cool and new! However the most powerful part was how it quickly dawned on me that this new feeling-state, could actually be a MORE powerful and effective platform from which to approach the challenge. Thank you!!
warmth, tears
When I try to give myself compassion, I am unable to access my heart. I see a solid piece of earth or rock that is preventing access. I’m beginning loving kindness meditation through Tara and Jack Kornfield’s course “The Power of Awareness” through Sounds True, and am seeing cracks in that rock, but I don’t have a sense of what I am looking for.
I feel a sense of loss, like I don’t really know who I am. Deep longing and loneliness.
I felt surprise and a funny mixy feeling in my stomach- like a concrete mixer turns its contents over. Then I realized I really might become my own best friend… rather than continuing to accommodate that old berating -presence. Maybe since this whole thing was Tara’s idea, I trust this notion and am considering a change.
My self judgement is constantly reinforced by my living situation. For financial reasons, I live with a partner from whom I separated seven years ago, as well as our 14 year old son. There is always tension when we are together. My judgements are rarely recognized or spoken, even within myself. Yet too old, too forgetful, too self centered are always in the background. There is a rigidity to this psychic foundation. But when I listened to you ask that we consider our own pain with compassion, I felt a softening, slight but definite, to my self judgement. I am hopeful this can grow through the next weeks of this course.