I would have more time for love and less frustrating and limiting time retelling the same scenarios. Instead of looking on the surface of the hurtful actions I might cultivate some real understanding. Instead of seeking a “miracle” of change in the others behavior I might be able to actually help free the person with understanding or at least less judgement. I would be able to feel bigger more human more loving and truly who I would like to be. There would be more hope for change.
Dear Tara this was just a wonderful way in which you help me deal with a long struggle to let go the blame in the relationship with my mother. It helped a lot to start feeling the place where forgiveness might appear from. That deep, complete and light feeling of forgiveness that could lift all the heaviness that is somehow still there in our relationship. It was also very nice to discover your very structured, coherent and powerful approach in all the 3 videos. I love all of them and I am really grateful for having the opportunity to practice the steps in video 2 and 3. Thanks a lot!
Having a specific process with three steps is useful. It is grounding. I find that it helps me think of how my irritating person is doing the best they can in the moment. It helps me refrain, sometimes, from responding with my own irritation. Sometimes I can find a way to be compassionate to both of us.
This is a very soothing practice – and one that I will return to many times. I can feel what I run into in myself – willfulness versus willingness- that unfortunate part that wants to stubbornly hold onto blame. Working on that part too. ❤️
I felt compassion for their situation and suffering… this took the feelings of fault away from me, giving me freedom from feeling like I failed again in someway.
When I acknowledged the hurt the other person had caused me and opened my own heart towards them rather than deliberately maintaining a barrier between us, I found I spontaneously felt compassion towards them, and also that I was in ‘Self’, or that part of me that is the best version of myself when not influenced by the ‘bumps and bruises’ of life. Thank you – a very healing practice
The upturn process is powerful. Warmth and compassion. This practice helped with giving structure to the process of letting go. Very helpful. I can immediately put this to use in my practice.
if i could let go of judging you and your enterprise as exploitation of human grief
for profit i would see you as the wounded dog and let your leg out of the trap of the cynical delusion that its ok to use peoples vulnerabilities as a source of income. With highest possible respect ,love, gratitude for Tara and what she has freely given to others for many years, it saddens me that she has had to sell her gifts to second parties who put a dollar value on her work. Thanks for throwing
a bone to Taras followers-i dreaded if i kept pressing the button of your slick site it would eventually be something for sale and lo and behold…
The practice of self compassion feels nice. My blame and judgement is towards myself, more than others. I’m trying to use these tools to adapt to my particular area of difficulty but it seems like your message is directed mostly to others that you blame or resent. Please advise if you have some insight. Thank You!
Great way for patients to let go of anger towards others and starting to be kind to oneself. Love the video ! Will use self compassion practice with my patients. Thank you!
I would be more at peace, not habits of anxiety and insomnia and not being there for people. Realising that I have strong habits of self judging and conflict. To turn the compassion inwards is very interesting. I have been able to sleep better these last few nights as I deal with unemployment. Thank you so much Tara and nicabm!
If I let go of judgement and blame I would be free. Free to observe, recognize, allow, investigate and nurture. Attentively nonchalant. I’d be vulnerable. I’d be more aware.
The u turn allows me to examine why I am upset and made me realize that the continuation of this type of relationship was really in my attempt to justify my “side of the story”.
I’d be a totally free, liberated, enlightened spirit…with a profound sense of connectedness to humanity and the oneness of us all
I have come a long way towards self compassion and release of blame…Loving others (and myself) unconditionally and without judgement, searching for the traps that ensnare them and me, forgiving… has been a big part of the journey.. a hard journey at times..still travelling the road
Thank you for your video/s Tara…beautifully and gently shared with a world that silently weeps for loss and longing they can’t express….you give us the words!
I would be lighter for sure. I recently became aware that I tend to feel more comfortable blaming others for everything that is not the wsy way I thought or wanted it to be.
I try now to engage the uturn. For some scenarios, yes its ok for others, those which have been there, and that way a long time, well they are more difficult.
Thank you again so much for sharing all these posts and videos xxx
This is all very new for me to deal with. I am trying really hard to understand and put your advice in to practice. But I know if I stick with you I’ll end up a happier person. Please help
I would be less encumbered by self doubt and freer to live a life that is more fully aligned to my deepest values. Thank you for this teaching, I received a lot from it.
Tears were rolling as soon as I went to my heart. Unbelievable how much we hold there and amazing to feel the opening of my heart and offer love were previously there was only judgment.
The U-turn is a powerful tool to stop throwing the second arrow and focus on the experience from the first arrow. It helped me become softer immediately. If I could consistently practice taking the U-turn and turning my attention to see the vulnerabilities of the other, I can imagine a much greater sense of kindness and joy in relationships.
Thank you for your very insightful ideas that you’ve shared so skillfully!
Thanks Tara and NICABM – this has been a real gift.
Meditative practices on compassion aren’t easy but are invaluable in order to find peaceful acceptance of “what is”, both within ourselves and elsewhere, and then, as appropriate, clarity to work towards solutions.
Many thanks
Thanks Tara and NICABM – this has been a real gift.
Meditative practices on compassion aren’t easy but are invaluable in order to find peaceful acceptance of “what is”, both within ourselves and elsewhere, and then, as appropriate, clarity to work towards solutions.
Many thanks
Very powerful.
Love practices that brings back to live our natural state.
My husband was in a bad mood yesterday.
After this practice I could see that he was trap in a pattern of doing/overdoing and silent resentment.
I could of simply stop look at him and be present.
I asked him what was going on but secretly blamed him for his bad mood. Living in compassion.. a daily invitation
It takes time to release the blame. But once it happens, it is liberating. I am so glad that Stefan got to hear, and feel his father’s love at the end.
If I could use this method more often I would be able to cope with my father’s inconsiderate and belittling behaviour in a more skillful way. To let go of the anger and frustration and see that he is hurting. That he gets anxious so easily and that he often feels isolated and unloved. It would help me to become calmer and more open.
Found these videos very enlightening and hope to put into self practice . I think one would be a much more peaceful person if we are able to do this regularly as part of our being.
I felt hurt and pain when recalling a troubling time years ago! Then wen I imagine the other person wounded the shift occurred and I could see it clearly and with less confusion
I would have more time for love and less frustrating and limiting time retelling the same scenarios. Instead of looking on the surface of the hurtful actions I might cultivate some real understanding. Instead of seeking a “miracle” of change in the others behavior I might be able to actually help free the person with understanding or at least less judgement. I would be able to feel bigger more human more loving and truly who I would like to be. There would be more hope for change.
I like the concept of u turn
thanks
This is so interesting. It fits with two of my present clients who are feeling such emotional pain. Thank you. Hi
Dear Tara this was just a wonderful way in which you help me deal with a long struggle to let go the blame in the relationship with my mother. It helped a lot to start feeling the place where forgiveness might appear from. That deep, complete and light feeling of forgiveness that could lift all the heaviness that is somehow still there in our relationship. It was also very nice to discover your very structured, coherent and powerful approach in all the 3 videos. I love all of them and I am really grateful for having the opportunity to practice the steps in video 2 and 3. Thanks a lot!
Having a specific process with three steps is useful. It is grounding. I find that it helps me think of how my irritating person is doing the best they can in the moment. It helps me refrain, sometimes, from responding with my own irritation. Sometimes I can find a way to be compassionate to both of us.
I love the metaphor of the ocean and waves, thank you.
This helps tremendously. I feel like going through this series of videos would be a great reminder at the beginning of each day. Thank you.
Thank you. This is a clear nugget of wisdom and allows for a gentle approach to insight .
This is a very soothing practice – and one that I will return to many times. I can feel what I run into in myself – willfulness versus willingness- that unfortunate part that wants to stubbornly hold onto blame. Working on that part too. ❤️
It helps to feel lighter and more confident. It also helps with the vicious cycle we can get stuck in.
How simple and yet so powerful. I’ve been working on releasing resentment for years now. I feel freer, more easily contented. Thank you, Tara.
I felt compassion for their situation and suffering… this took the feelings of fault away from me, giving me freedom from feeling like I failed again in someway.
When I acknowledged the hurt the other person had caused me and opened my own heart towards them rather than deliberately maintaining a barrier between us, I found I spontaneously felt compassion towards them, and also that I was in ‘Self’, or that part of me that is the best version of myself when not influenced by the ‘bumps and bruises’ of life. Thank you – a very healing practice
The upturn process is powerful. Warmth and compassion. This practice helped with giving structure to the process of letting go. Very helpful. I can immediately put this to use in my practice.
if i could let go of judging you and your enterprise as exploitation of human grief
for profit i would see you as the wounded dog and let your leg out of the trap of the cynical delusion that its ok to use peoples vulnerabilities as a source of income. With highest possible respect ,love, gratitude for Tara and what she has freely given to others for many years, it saddens me that she has had to sell her gifts to second parties who put a dollar value on her work. Thanks for throwing
a bone to Taras followers-i dreaded if i kept pressing the button of your slick site it would eventually be something for sale and lo and behold…
The practice of self compassion feels nice. My blame and judgement is towards myself, more than others. I’m trying to use these tools to adapt to my particular area of difficulty but it seems like your message is directed mostly to others that you blame or resent. Please advise if you have some insight. Thank You!
It’s a beautiful movement of letting go of the strain of judgment and blame and turning toward the softness of self compassion. Thank you Tara
Great way for patients to let go of anger towards others and starting to be kind to oneself. Love the video ! Will use self compassion practice with my patients. Thank you!
A softening towards myself during the process gave me a sense of the freedom you spoke of. What more incentive does one need !!
I like what happened to me during this presentation.
I would be more at peace, not habits of anxiety and insomnia and not being there for people. Realising that I have strong habits of self judging and conflict. To turn the compassion inwards is very interesting. I have been able to sleep better these last few nights as I deal with unemployment. Thank you so much Tara and nicabm!
If I let go of judgement and blame I would be free. Free to observe, recognize, allow, investigate and nurture. Attentively nonchalant. I’d be vulnerable. I’d be more aware.
Such a sensible, caring approach – thank you Tara.
The u turn allows me to examine why I am upset and made me realize that the continuation of this type of relationship was really in my attempt to justify my “side of the story”.
I’d be a totally free, liberated, enlightened spirit…with a profound sense of connectedness to humanity and the oneness of us all
I have come a long way towards self compassion and release of blame…Loving others (and myself) unconditionally and without judgement, searching for the traps that ensnare them and me, forgiving… has been a big part of the journey.. a hard journey at times..still travelling the road
Thank you for your video/s Tara…beautifully and gently shared with a world that silently weeps for loss and longing they can’t express….you give us the words!
This does help! It also helps me feel less responsible for the behavior of others.
I would be lighter for sure. I recently became aware that I tend to feel more comfortable blaming others for everything that is not the wsy way I thought or wanted it to be.
I try now to engage the uturn. For some scenarios, yes its ok for others, those which have been there, and that way a long time, well they are more difficult.
Thank you again so much for sharing all these posts and videos xxx
Love this.
This is all very new for me to deal with. I am trying really hard to understand and put your advice in to practice. But I know if I stick with you I’ll end up a happier person. Please help
I would be less encumbered by self doubt and freer to live a life that is more fully aligned to my deepest values. Thank you for this teaching, I received a lot from it.
I would be free to live
So useful thank you.
Tears were rolling as soon as I went to my heart. Unbelievable how much we hold there and amazing to feel the opening of my heart and offer love were previously there was only judgment.
The U-turn is a powerful tool to stop throwing the second arrow and focus on the experience from the first arrow. It helped me become softer immediately. If I could consistently practice taking the U-turn and turning my attention to see the vulnerabilities of the other, I can imagine a much greater sense of kindness and joy in relationships.
Thank you for your very insightful ideas that you’ve shared so skillfully!
Thanks for keeping it simple and do-able! The imagery is very helpful in creating a sense of calm and release.
This is a wonderful practice! Thankyou
I love the u turn – thank you
A lot of food for thought. Personally I think this work will make me a much happier and compassionate person.
Thank you Tara
A much more available person that isn’t distracted by the need of defensiveness, thus, facilitating fuller communication.
Thanks Tara and NICABM – this has been a real gift.
Meditative practices on compassion aren’t easy but are invaluable in order to find peaceful acceptance of “what is”, both within ourselves and elsewhere, and then, as appropriate, clarity to work towards solutions.
Many thanks
I would be a wide open heart of compassion, allowing myself and others to expand and flow
Thanks Tara and NICABM – this has been a real gift.
Meditative practices on compassion aren’t easy but are invaluable in order to find peaceful acceptance of “what is”, both within ourselves and elsewhere, and then, as appropriate, clarity to work towards solutions.
Many thanks
Very powerful.
Love practices that brings back to live our natural state.
My husband was in a bad mood yesterday.
After this practice I could see that he was trap in a pattern of doing/overdoing and silent resentment.
I could of simply stop look at him and be present.
I asked him what was going on but secretly blamed him for his bad mood. Living in compassion.. a daily invitation
i love the analogy of the dog in the trap. Its a visceral experience of shifting perspective and it always works when i can remember it.
thanks, Tara
It takes time to release the blame. But once it happens, it is liberating. I am so glad that Stefan got to hear, and feel his father’s love at the end.
Tyler
If I could use this method more often I would be able to cope with my father’s inconsiderate and belittling behaviour in a more skillful way. To let go of the anger and frustration and see that he is hurting. That he gets anxious so easily and that he often feels isolated and unloved. It would help me to become calmer and more open.
Found these videos very enlightening and hope to put into self practice . I think one would be a much more peaceful person if we are able to do this regularly as part of our being.
I would be free – weightless and feeling the ebb and flow of the tides.
I felt hurt and pain when recalling a troubling time years ago! Then wen I imagine the other person wounded the shift occurred and I could see it clearly and with less confusion