Thank you Tara – this was very helpful. I can see the freedom I’d experience if I’d let go of self-judgement and blame. Look forward to practicing these steps myself and sharing them with others.
I’d be freer, less fearful of difference, less concerned about being in control, less defended and more available to others, less stand-offish and more engaged and engaging, with my attention ‘out rather than ‘in. Looks like a much more enjoyable space!
Peter, Ireland
It’s not easy to feel self-compassion, but when I make the attempt I feel softer and somewhat better. Still, the shame or anger, or whatever other feelings I am experiencing linger.
Thank you Tara for the gift of simple accessible tools to reconnect to ‘the marrow’ of our humanity. This feels deeply important and valuable. Thank you so much!
Linda
A person who would not wake up in the middle of the night with feelings of fear, anxiety and shame.
A person who has the courage to stand up, speak out and risk judgement and disapproval.
A person who could experience joy again.
I would be less hurt, less angry, and more easily slip into a state of peace. If I was less anxious I could more easily reach out to the people I love and truly enjoy the time I spend with them. Your message and practice will be helpful in my efforts to transform reactive states. Thank you.
Thank you for the compassionate reminder that everyone experiences pain, and that when someone dishes out a moment of rough behavior, it can be a sign that at that moment their wounds are influencing their behavior.
Thank you, Tara. I love your warm authenticity, curated words and the visual of the dog with trapped leg is an excellent tool for me to more quickly change my thoughts and behaviors to allow a fuller compassion for myself and the other person {s} I care for. . Much appreciation for all your love.
? thank you. It’s not easy to make the U turn but I do understand the fact that I need to start the practice with myself first ant that takes time. Looking forward to working with myself . Namaste ?
There is definitely a feeling of fear when considering letting go of the blame. For years I felt I deserved the treatment I received. Later I understood that treatment was actually abusive and felt the anger of being mistreated- I became “the victim” in my mind. Being the victim has been my identity for so long. I want to release that and discover my true self. I want to find out who I can be when I step out of the fear.
Hi Tara
Thank you for all three amazing videos; the last practice of shifting blame truly shifted something inside me.
I am scared to think what it would be like to live without them, because they appear to be a shield, such a fragile and painful shield though.
I guess to be without them would mean to find peace and stop self wrestling.
What surprised me most when I brought a specific current situation where I have been hurt by someone that I care for, who has distanced himself from me. I really do not feel as if I blame him, because I have already recognized his deep woundedness. But it did bring up an incredible amount of love and compassion for him, and a desire to mend the separation, although I know that will take patience.
You are right compassion and empathy start at home. My head, heart and
heart space. The point of setting narrower boundaries during this pandemic
is prudent. The shrinking of one’s access to others has shown me what little
compassion and empathy I show myself.
Thank you
After doing this practice I felt a tenderness rise up in myself and then I allowed myself to feel compassion towards myself and others. Last night I got a call from a woman who “talked at me ” for an hour on the phone and I was quite rattled by the experience. Today, I am applying this teaching you offered to help me settle from this interaction and to extend a sense of compassion towards the woman who called me.
Called upon me to reevaluate my feelings towards another important person in my life and consider a new path in responding to them. I felt very,liberating. Anne
Really helpful workshop; particularly found the idea that some need to keep their ‘armour’ of blame until they are ready to confront their hurt really insightful.
This was a very inspiring, authentic and warm presentation which I enjoyed. Well paced and left the listener with concrete tools … Thank you so much! I’m sure many will sign up after having listened to you in the 3 free workshops.
Karin
This story of Stephan, and the wounded dog, helped me understand a pathway to working through a painful experience where I have been conflicted about giving up blame. I understand it starts with compassion for my wounded self and feeling the original wound. Now I can care about the others wound that causes him to lash out.
Thank you for your wisdom.
I would be free! I would be able to settle into my own goodness, truth, love and beauty not being reliant on another persons actions for my own happiness. It would be liberating to let go.
Tara, as always your wisdom and compassion is truly moving and inspiring. I felt deep sorrow and some glimmers of compassion for my older sister who has continually hurt me over decades.
To answer the question above- I would be calmer, more peaceful and live more in the moment I would feel even more connected more often to my loved ones.
I would be a free spirit, more curious, and willing to explore my inner thoughts for what they are Rather than judging myself based on my thoughts. I would be more open to what is happening within me rather then shying away from my feelings, fearing my thoughts, and being stuck in my own fears and anxiety. I also would create a sense of safety where I can be because I am more accepting of me.
I have realized how much vulnerable I have always been but at the same time how self-critical. It hurt deeply in the beginning. However, as I continued to offer compassion to myself, I felt safe and held in the space of the heart.
I and all people could be a shining light if we had no judgment, shame or blame. And we would see this light in others as well. Thank you Tara to show us the potential of life and for your shining light.
Thank you a lovely simple yet profound method to use to change our approach-I really struggle with connection as it feels like I am very thoughtful and mindful of others whilst losing myself so need to focus on self care and acceptance I guess!! ☯️
Again, your free workshop has come at the most synchronistically important time in my life. I will definitely want to join your course and look forward to it.
Thank you Tara!
Stay well,
Sheila
As before…Well done. I particularly like the wonderful way you used the clear example of the wounded dog. It is so easy to see and relatable. Thanks for simplifying.
Annette L LCSW
The example of the dog caught in a trap was very helpful to reframe judgement; great to keep in mind when thoughts of frustration come up. I also like the U-turn image.
I’m more likely to judge myself than others. So for me this helps me be more loving toward myself which then allows me to breathe, pause, stay in the moment and look for the good.
Thank you!
Robin Hammond says
Calmer and easier to get along with.
Kim MacAulay says
Thank you Tara – this was very helpful. I can see the freedom I’d experience if I’d let go of self-judgement and blame. Look forward to practicing these steps myself and sharing them with others.
Peter Kieran says
I’d be freer, less fearful of difference, less concerned about being in control, less defended and more available to others, less stand-offish and more engaged and engaging, with my attention ‘out rather than ‘in. Looks like a much more enjoyable space!
Peter, Ireland
Pilar Posse says
My true-self and essence, love.
Thank you so much Tara for your amazing videos. Your words always bring me peace and comfort.
Kathy Warren says
It’s not easy to feel self-compassion, but when I make the attempt I feel softer and somewhat better. Still, the shame or anger, or whatever other feelings I am experiencing linger.
Linda Pariente says
Thank you Tara for the gift of simple accessible tools to reconnect to ‘the marrow’ of our humanity. This feels deeply important and valuable. Thank you so much!
Linda
Anonymous says
A person who would not wake up in the middle of the night with feelings of fear, anxiety and shame.
A person who has the courage to stand up, speak out and risk judgement and disapproval.
A person who could experience joy again.
Mara Conan says
I would be less hurt, less angry, and more easily slip into a state of peace. If I was less anxious I could more easily reach out to the people I love and truly enjoy the time I spend with them. Your message and practice will be helpful in my efforts to transform reactive states. Thank you.
J. B. says
This is so helpful. Just a few easy to remember steps, making a profound difference. Thank you so much!
Anonymous says
Thank you for the compassionate reminder that everyone experiences pain, and that when someone dishes out a moment of rough behavior, it can be a sign that at that moment their wounds are influencing their behavior.
Stacy Stoltz says
When I stop blaming him there is safety. Then, he opens his heart to me. In time. Patience.
Susan Stanley says
Thank you, Tara. I love your warm authenticity, curated words and the visual of the dog with trapped leg is an excellent tool for me to more quickly change my thoughts and behaviors to allow a fuller compassion for myself and the other person {s} I care for. . Much appreciation for all your love.
Jessica Alvarez says
Love
D Davies says
? thank you. It’s not easy to make the U turn but I do understand the fact that I need to start the practice with myself first ant that takes time. Looking forward to working with myself . Namaste ?
Nancy Graham-Cork says
Who would I be if I moved into Self compassion?
I would see my love for others and practice compassion for others and myself. It would bring peace.
K E says
There is definitely a feeling of fear when considering letting go of the blame. For years I felt I deserved the treatment I received. Later I understood that treatment was actually abusive and felt the anger of being mistreated- I became “the victim” in my mind. Being the victim has been my identity for so long. I want to release that and discover my true self. I want to find out who I can be when I step out of the fear.
Izabela Sutt says
Hi Tara
Thank you for all three amazing videos; the last practice of shifting blame truly shifted something inside me.
I am scared to think what it would be like to live without them, because they appear to be a shield, such a fragile and painful shield though.
I guess to be without them would mean to find peace and stop self wrestling.
Tim Daniels says
i have no clue
Anonymous Anonymous says
Taking a u-turn to self focus is the only place we have power to heal & change.
Marilyn Grounds says
What surprised me most when I brought a specific current situation where I have been hurt by someone that I care for, who has distanced himself from me. I really do not feel as if I blame him, because I have already recognized his deep woundedness. But it did bring up an incredible amount of love and compassion for him, and a desire to mend the separation, although I know that will take patience.
William Fellers says
You are right compassion and empathy start at home. My head, heart and
heart space. The point of setting narrower boundaries during this pandemic
is prudent. The shrinking of one’s access to others has shown me what little
compassion and empathy I show myself.
Thank you
Anna Langeway says
I would be the mother, wife, and daughter I know is inside me… I would be kind and patient and able to hold space for everyone in my family.
Anonymous says
Hi Tara,
After doing this practice I felt a tenderness rise up in myself and then I allowed myself to feel compassion towards myself and others. Last night I got a call from a woman who “talked at me ” for an hour on the phone and I was quite rattled by the experience. Today, I am applying this teaching you offered to help me settle from this interaction and to extend a sense of compassion towards the woman who called me.
Frances Rove says
Thank you for helping us look inward with the “U-turn,” and then seeing that we and others are often caught in a trap and we all need compassion.
Eve Hersov says
Very useful. Reminded me of the power of kindness and reframing.
Shollar says
Called upon me to reevaluate my feelings towards another important person in my life and consider a new path in responding to them. I felt very,liberating. Anne
Ruth Payne says
Really helpful workshop; particularly found the idea that some need to keep their ‘armour’ of blame until they are ready to confront their hurt really insightful.
Karin Krall says
This was a very inspiring, authentic and warm presentation which I enjoyed. Well paced and left the listener with concrete tools … Thank you so much! I’m sure many will sign up after having listened to you in the 3 free workshops.
Karin
Janice Kelly says
This story of Stephan, and the wounded dog, helped me understand a pathway to working through a painful experience where I have been conflicted about giving up blame. I understand it starts with compassion for my wounded self and feeling the original wound. Now I can care about the others wound that causes him to lash out.
Thank you for your wisdom.
Judy O’Donnell says
Thank you Tara for giving us insight into how we can move forward.
Amy Blumenreder says
I would be free! I would be able to settle into my own goodness, truth, love and beauty not being reliant on another persons actions for my own happiness. It would be liberating to let go.
Julia says
Tara, as always your wisdom and compassion is truly moving and inspiring. I felt deep sorrow and some glimmers of compassion for my older sister who has continually hurt me over decades.
To answer the question above- I would be calmer, more peaceful and live more in the moment I would feel even more connected more often to my loved ones.
Thank you from my open heart space!
Janyce Kaye says
I would be me, but lighter and freer. Even just contemplating this opens my heart and straightens my posture. Thank you.
mickey Judd says
Excellent Process. Self-Compassion before Other-Compassion.
Bonnie B says
Loved the dog in trap theory.. very helpful, insighful.
Gulshan Lodhi says
Thank you Tara for the insightful presentation. Amazing that the simplicity of 2 practical suggestion can bring about such profound change
G. Lodhi
Shirley Goslett says
Thank you. This video contained valuable tools for letting go of resentment and to forgive the other person.
Leah says
I would be a free spirit, more curious, and willing to explore my inner thoughts for what they are Rather than judging myself based on my thoughts. I would be more open to what is happening within me rather then shying away from my feelings, fearing my thoughts, and being stuck in my own fears and anxiety. I also would create a sense of safety where I can be because I am more accepting of me.
Lisa Daniels says
I would feel free from past pain, I would allow myself to explore and enjoy my true interests, and I’d be more present in my family relationships.
Zennur Pratap says
I have realized how much vulnerable I have always been but at the same time how self-critical. It hurt deeply in the beginning. However, as I continued to offer compassion to myself, I felt safe and held in the space of the heart.
Deeply grateful to you, Tara.
Maria says
I and all people could be a shining light if we had no judgment, shame or blame. And we would see this light in others as well. Thank you Tara to show us the potential of life and for your shining light.
Jacqueline Brigg says
Thank you a lovely simple yet profound method to use to change our approach-I really struggle with connection as it feels like I am very thoughtful and mindful of others whilst losing myself so need to focus on self care and acceptance I guess!! ☯️
Aline Bangert says
Thank you so very much, dear Tara. I agree deeply that we need radical compassion right now and it is really key to start by ourselves.
Anonymous says
I would be more at peace. I’d have more equanimity.
Sheila Johnstone says
Again, your free workshop has come at the most synchronistically important time in my life. I will definitely want to join your course and look forward to it.
Thank you Tara!
Stay well,
Sheila
Sylvie Coulombe says
I would smile more…I would be more patient with my husband and understand his struggle.
Linda Impens says
The moment!
Annette Ladowitz says
As before…Well done. I particularly like the wonderful way you used the clear example of the wounded dog. It is so easy to see and relatable. Thanks for simplifying.
Annette L LCSW
Veronika Schnackenberg says
I felt really touched, thanks a lot⭐️
Twyla Anderson says
The example of the dog caught in a trap was very helpful to reframe judgement; great to keep in mind when thoughts of frustration come up. I also like the U-turn image.
I’m more likely to judge myself than others. So for me this helps me be more loving toward myself which then allows me to breathe, pause, stay in the moment and look for the good.
Thank you!