What wonderful wisdom and great help.it leaves with me with a great sense of peace. Thank you for these powerful practices. Learning to love oneself.?
Allegra
Lymph drainage therapist, iridologist
What or who would I be if I let go of chronic blame and judgement?
I would find worth in myself and not want to be somebody else who doesn’t struggle with their past or mistakes they have made or could make. Someone who is comfortable in her own skin. Someone who excepts herself as she is. Content. Someone who believes in Herself and loves who she is… Some who loves people and forgives easily. Someone who lives life without regret.
I feel like even without blame and judgement, there is still a lot of pain. And I feel sad about the inevitability of pain. I feel fatigued with over and over finding the compassion for my mentally unstable daughter who lives with me. Even as I release judgement the depth of pain remains.
Dear Tara,
I have listened repeatedly to the clips and enjoyed your workshop very much.Thank you. I would be interested in the free audio recording you mentioned to deepen my practice and in your course – if I can financially afford it. To answer the question – I believe I would be more peaceful and much freer if I’d let go of judgment. I have been working on this for a while now and see little glimpses of relieve when I manage to be less judgemental. I think you are making a very good point that we often believe if we are disagreeable with ourselves or others, something will change but in reality usually things just get more solid and impermeable. I always liked Obama’s quote “We can disagree without being disagreeable”
I find your suggestions and techniques helpful and will continue to practice. Just a gentle feedback, I personally find the music in the background a little distracting -mainly because I’m one of those people that get easily overwhelmed if too many things are going on. Thank you for your time and work. With a smile Julia
When I develop the art and gift of releasing shame and judgments from myself and others, I will become the embodiment of filling the measure of my creation. “Eternity itself depends upon how we view those who mistreat us.” ~James Farrell, The Peacegiver
Dear Tara, Thank you once again for your beautiful presentation. I have practised uturn since I did a course with you I& Jack Kornfield several years ago. It is part of my daily practise
. It is a process for every day of my life. It is so easy to blame politicians, corporations, others for climate catastrophes, sexism or racism. This is disempowering. I takes away our will to live the change we want to see. Uturn is a wondrous reminder of the kindness, compassion & love needed on a daily basis to change the World.
I am 84. At 80 I built a hemp sustainable home in an off the grid intergenerational community. Youngest is 4. We are regenerating & farming
our land organically. As different people join us, uturn is always needed to keep us connected & kind. Love & blessings to you & to all.
Who would I be without chronic blame and judgment? I would be a 55-year-old healer who loves to travel and experience life but is also deeply introverted and craves time with nature. Without judgment I would be in love with myself and life. I would be able to support a partner without feeling drained by it. I would allow myself to feel supportable. Who would I be? A giver, a lover.
I would be present.
The words really translated into deeper, heartful connections. I’d love to learn the steps to build pathway to self compassion. Thanks for putting it out there.
I understand the need to do the U-turn but I also understand why you explain that the time must be right. I still feel unsafe. Thank you so much for your generosity and wisdom
I would be in the present moment with me. I find myself moving from anger towards someone’s problematic behavior to thinking about the trap their trap. I feel compassion for the other…”it makes sense that they feel that way, they are suffering.” And that decreases my anger and opens my heart. What I do not do is then pay attention to my experience, to have compassion for myself for the thing that I want and do not have from the other… for my loss. I forget about me. When I had compassion for me during this exercise I was in a more open place to connect with the other.
I’m seeing my blaming of others not so much as what they did to me as what they didn’t give or do. I blame their lack of compassion or generosity in what I experienced as my time or times of need. But I can also see my vulnerability because I lacked faith or belief in my own ability to solve my problems. Thus the u-turn seemed to be pointing the finger right at my perceived weaknesses. I am also a loner and find the idea of being part of a sharing group with a great deal of hesitancy. I’ve not been a joiner but rather a loner (or an aloner.) Roberta
Very helpful reinforcement. I realize I had been doing the “U turn” on my own recently regarding a situation with my daughter and her husband. It has helped.
I’m working through trauma with regards to childhood and my parents. I’m currently reading radical compassion and this short meditation really help me find compassion for my parents in seeing their real selves and understAnding the process of forgiving myself so I could find compassion for them as fellow humans. Thank you so much Tara
Being able to give myself compassion, without any end plan or intention that doing so will somehow ‘fix’ things or lead to ‘improvement’, is incredibly liberating and grounding, its ‘coming home’, and its ok. I don’t need fixing, improving, ‘bettering’. I got a flash of it in this 3rd video, doing the exercise. Thanks Tara, I always find your teaching helpful and reassuring. x x
Hi Tara:
Thank you for sharing this free workshop. If I let go of the judgements I have of my a good friend snd my sibling and remember to make that U turn, I think my hurt will melt away. I do long for intimacy and connection and I know even though I feel the sting of hurt and disappointment sometimes, I can also feel the other if there is safe space created by opening to intimacy
Coming back again to this space of listening to and accepting the actual feelings in my body is so healing. Building resilience. Letting go of the judgement that I have no right to feel this way is like a warm, gentle rain that soothes my heart. I really hope to be able to forgive and open my heart again, whilst being very clear about boundaries!
This practice is so essential to self-healing.
Thank you Tara, you’re such a generous, kind teacher and each time I come back to your wisdom it helps immensely.
I like that you twice emphasized the need to establish boundaries for safety. Too often there is pressure to tolerate inappropriate behaviour in the name of forgiveness and harmony. I find that good boundaries are essential to my capacity to maintain compassion for people whose suffering manifests in harmful attack.
I would become that beautiful flower morphing from a tightly closed bud because I unwittingly held onto so much anger, blame and resentment for much too long, who up until now was so afraid to blossom forth.
Dear Tara
Thank you for reminding me to go to my own pain. It gives me the opportunity to take care of myself, to see who I am and what my needs are. Being able to remind myself to look at myself with compassion gives me inner piece and I feel that’s the essence of being alive. I feel more relaxed, soft and strong at the same time and I smile.
Kind regards from Elke, Rotterdam, the Netherlands.
I’d free up massive amounts of emotional bandwidth… I’d love to find out what I might do with that inner space/freedom. I have a feeling a lot might change.
I would be myself, my Buddha nature and a person free from my emotional baggages and afflictions. My chronic health issues stem from chronic judgement and blame. I believe if I can develop new neurological pathways in my brains to operate from a place of compassion, my health will significantly improve. Thank you?.
The U turn is such a helpful tool. I have been having some difficulty with a family relationship & trying to see the other person’s point of view. Giving myself compassion for my feelings of hurt & confusion allows me to come to the situation with more real compassion for the other person – usually I’m forcing myself to see the other person’s point of view & trying to have compassion & it doesn’t work because there’s no real feeling there. Offering kindness to myself first makes such a huge difference.
Anonymous says
Thank you
Allegra Hayim says
I follow your MINDFULLNESS videos.
Simply wonderful,and so effective.
As were your 3 videos
Riki says
I love the image of the ocean and waves- of realizing that is me.
Allegra Hayim says
What wonderful wisdom and great help.it leaves with me with a great sense of peace. Thank you for these powerful practices. Learning to love oneself.?
Allegra
Lymph drainage therapist, iridologist
Janet Smith says
What or who would I be if I let go of chronic blame and judgement?
I would find worth in myself and not want to be somebody else who doesn’t struggle with their past or mistakes they have made or could make. Someone who is comfortable in her own skin. Someone who excepts herself as she is. Content. Someone who believes in Herself and loves who she is… Some who loves people and forgives easily. Someone who lives life without regret.
Janet S
Laura Moksha says
I feel like even without blame and judgement, there is still a lot of pain. And I feel sad about the inevitability of pain. I feel fatigued with over and over finding the compassion for my mentally unstable daughter who lives with me. Even as I release judgement the depth of pain remains.
Hilde Berg-Karlsen says
The practise made it easier to discover my own vurnability, and to be more understanding compationed about the other person behaviour.
Gabriella Sterlini says
The U turn would free my mind of the metaphorical scab that I just about daily go back to pick……I’m ready to heal!
Julia Koburg says
Dear Tara,
I have listened repeatedly to the clips and enjoyed your workshop very much.Thank you. I would be interested in the free audio recording you mentioned to deepen my practice and in your course – if I can financially afford it. To answer the question – I believe I would be more peaceful and much freer if I’d let go of judgment. I have been working on this for a while now and see little glimpses of relieve when I manage to be less judgemental. I think you are making a very good point that we often believe if we are disagreeable with ourselves or others, something will change but in reality usually things just get more solid and impermeable. I always liked Obama’s quote “We can disagree without being disagreeable”
I find your suggestions and techniques helpful and will continue to practice. Just a gentle feedback, I personally find the music in the background a little distracting -mainly because I’m one of those people that get easily overwhelmed if too many things are going on. Thank you for your time and work. With a smile Julia
Tim Cra says
I’m going to to start by practicing your suggestions on myself. I so enjoy the time I take to listen to you.
Tim C.
Alison says
When I develop the art and gift of releasing shame and judgments from myself and others, I will become the embodiment of filling the measure of my creation. “Eternity itself depends upon how we view those who mistreat us.” ~James Farrell, The Peacegiver
Jane Purkiss says
Dear Tara, Thank you once again for your beautiful presentation. I have practised uturn since I did a course with you I& Jack Kornfield several years ago. It is part of my daily practise
. It is a process for every day of my life. It is so easy to blame politicians, corporations, others for climate catastrophes, sexism or racism. This is disempowering. I takes away our will to live the change we want to see. Uturn is a wondrous reminder of the kindness, compassion & love needed on a daily basis to change the World.
I am 84. At 80 I built a hemp sustainable home in an off the grid intergenerational community. Youngest is 4. We are regenerating & farming
our land organically. As different people join us, uturn is always needed to keep us connected & kind. Love & blessings to you & to all.
Anonymous says
Life changing! Thank you ??
Mike Wallace says
This was very helpful to me personally as I struggle with a big loss in my life that has left me with a lot of self blame. Thank you.
Alice Wolfe says
The possibility that I might feel less lost.
Anne Buchanan says
I cried when you sUd it’s really ok to feel whatever I am feeling.
Thank you.
Zan LeCourt says
Who would I be without chronic blame and judgment? I would be a 55-year-old healer who loves to travel and experience life but is also deeply introverted and craves time with nature. Without judgment I would be in love with myself and life. I would be able to support a partner without feeling drained by it. I would allow myself to feel supportable. Who would I be? A giver, a lover.
I would be present.
Kevin W says
The words really translated into deeper, heartful connections. I’d love to learn the steps to build pathway to self compassion. Thanks for putting it out there.
T B says
I understand the need to do the U-turn but I also understand why you explain that the time must be right. I still feel unsafe. Thank you so much for your generosity and wisdom
Noreen Esposito says
I would be in the present moment with me. I find myself moving from anger towards someone’s problematic behavior to thinking about the trap their trap. I feel compassion for the other…”it makes sense that they feel that way, they are suffering.” And that decreases my anger and opens my heart. What I do not do is then pay attention to my experience, to have compassion for myself for the thing that I want and do not have from the other… for my loss. I forget about me. When I had compassion for me during this exercise I was in a more open place to connect with the other.
Roberta Mackie says
I’m seeing my blaming of others not so much as what they did to me as what they didn’t give or do. I blame their lack of compassion or generosity in what I experienced as my time or times of need. But I can also see my vulnerability because I lacked faith or belief in my own ability to solve my problems. Thus the u-turn seemed to be pointing the finger right at my perceived weaknesses. I am also a loner and find the idea of being part of a sharing group with a great deal of hesitancy. I’ve not been a joiner but rather a loner (or an aloner.) Roberta
Jodi Turner says
so painful to heal self-judgment, especially when I feel I’ve emotionally hurt someone I love. But I am making progress.
Jen C says
I would feel a sense of inner peace. And the impact of that is priceless.
Thank-you for these three small, and mighty, practices.
Nita Webster says
Giving myself permission to be angry and not having to suppress it have compassion for myself was releasing. Thank you Tara
Roohi Ahmad says
If not stuck in the phase of maximum hurt, it would feel lighter and brighter.
How does one heal from chronic emotional and verbal trauma, especially if it still continues in some form?
Lynne Bannerman says
I would be able to live without the fear that looms large for me now.
Anonymous says
Very helpful reinforcement. I realize I had been doing the “U turn” on my own recently regarding a situation with my daughter and her husband. It has helped.
Marcel Holland says
I’m working through trauma with regards to childhood and my parents. I’m currently reading radical compassion and this short meditation really help me find compassion for my parents in seeing their real selves and understAnding the process of forgiving myself so I could find compassion for them as fellow humans. Thank you so much Tara
Pam Longmire says
Lots to think about
Meg says
Being able to give myself compassion, without any end plan or intention that doing so will somehow ‘fix’ things or lead to ‘improvement’, is incredibly liberating and grounding, its ‘coming home’, and its ok. I don’t need fixing, improving, ‘bettering’. I got a flash of it in this 3rd video, doing the exercise. Thanks Tara, I always find your teaching helpful and reassuring. x x
Karen Lecks says
Hi Tara:
Thank you for sharing this free workshop. If I let go of the judgements I have of my a good friend snd my sibling and remember to make that U turn, I think my hurt will melt away. I do long for intimacy and connection and I know even though I feel the sting of hurt and disappointment sometimes, I can also feel the other if there is safe space created by opening to intimacy
Paulette Roscoe says
More connected,less separate,less angry.
THANK YOU TARA.
Pip Souness says
This is a really powerful practice – thank you so much for sharing it with us all.
Hannah D says
Coming back again to this space of listening to and accepting the actual feelings in my body is so healing. Building resilience. Letting go of the judgement that I have no right to feel this way is like a warm, gentle rain that soothes my heart. I really hope to be able to forgive and open my heart again, whilst being very clear about boundaries!
This practice is so essential to self-healing.
Thank you Tara, you’re such a generous, kind teacher and each time I come back to your wisdom it helps immensely.
Mar says
Thanks. Really helpful to try this technique. I learned a lot about myself!!
Mary Ives says
I like that you twice emphasized the need to establish boundaries for safety. Too often there is pressure to tolerate inappropriate behaviour in the name of forgiveness and harmony. I find that good boundaries are essential to my capacity to maintain compassion for people whose suffering manifests in harmful attack.
Teresa Kerr says
I would become that beautiful flower morphing from a tightly closed bud because I unwittingly held onto so much anger, blame and resentment for much too long, who up until now was so afraid to blossom forth.
Elke Scheffers says
Dear Tara
Thank you for reminding me to go to my own pain. It gives me the opportunity to take care of myself, to see who I am and what my needs are. Being able to remind myself to look at myself with compassion gives me inner piece and I feel that’s the essence of being alive. I feel more relaxed, soft and strong at the same time and I smile.
Kind regards from Elke, Rotterdam, the Netherlands.
Rosemary Brosseau says
I would be so much freer…. like I had found my wings!!!
Thank you
Rosemary
Mary Keily says
I would be freer
Sweta Agarwal says
Fresh, solid, reflective, free.
Christopher McCamic says
A better, safer, version of myself, a more effective teammate, and a more relaxed person.
Tim Sheldon says
I’d be the man who has been trying to manifest inner peace for decades and always stumbling over the judgment control paradigm
Anonymous says
Myself only freer and lighter
Amanda Clayson says
I can breathe more easily. I find much comfort in your words with such deep resonance. Thank you Tara
Heinz N. Fischer says
Very enriching and supporting.
C T says
I’d free up massive amounts of emotional bandwidth… I’d love to find out what I might do with that inner space/freedom. I have a feeling a lot might change.
Sweta Agarwal says
I would be myself, my Buddha nature and a person free from my emotional baggages and afflictions. My chronic health issues stem from chronic judgement and blame. I believe if I can develop new neurological pathways in my brains to operate from a place of compassion, my health will significantly improve. Thank you?.
Julie Sicam says
I would be happier and more at peace
Sheralie Wood says
The U turn is such a helpful tool. I have been having some difficulty with a family relationship & trying to see the other person’s point of view. Giving myself compassion for my feelings of hurt & confusion allows me to come to the situation with more real compassion for the other person – usually I’m forcing myself to see the other person’s point of view & trying to have compassion & it doesn’t work because there’s no real feeling there. Offering kindness to myself first makes such a huge difference.