Thank you/Shukriya Tara for your breadth and depth of insights, wisdom and compassion! You are truly one of our “lights” in our inner “darkness”. I have been following you for over 10 years and your book Radical Acceptance changed my inner spiritual life and my outer social life and I am deeply grateful to you for this profound change on my sacred path. I now thank you for sharing a beautiful and sacred gift of understanding and embracing our “u-turns” in life with this video, as today, again you have changed how I am walking on my inner and outer journeys on the sacred lands, lands belonging to the First Nations peoples and American Indian peoples, who have allowed us to walk here together, step by step, breath by breath….I now welcome the myriad of “u-turns”on my path:-)
with light + gratitude + blessings,
Jasmindra Jawanda
(British Columbia, Canada)
Thank you Tara. I spend much of my day with my hand on my heart, and I blog about it and teach it to clients. Thank you.
When I let go of blame – and there is certain blame toward my partner that I am holding onto, the blame and the story – I know I will be my best self. I will feel even more of me, “letting it rip” which is my most recent personal mantra, and feeling even more healing from my past. Thank you for reminding me to focus on self-compassion first and then to walk away from the blame story. It doesn’t make the past behavior ok, and it doesn’t mean I will I have to accept unacceptable behavior, but it will free me from how I’m holding myself in pain and confusion.
I’d be able to identify with beauty, strength and abundance that’s here if I could truly let go of judgment and chronic blame. I could use some help with that.
Who would I be if I let go of judgment and blame? I would still be me, but better. More relaxed, happier, more joyful and cheerful. Healthier and more helpful to others. Maybe even more focused and productive.
Mostly, I realized how tired I am from a year of political turmoil, fear and isolation from the pandemic. I was able to feel compassion for myself and allow myself some rest in the middle of the day as I listened to the videos. Without self blame I would be a softer, gentler person and I would be okay with feeling worn out and confused by all that has transpired during this trying time. I would be more loving wife and mother and have more energy for my business.
I particularly loved this section of the talks. It is so spot on with the u-turn consideration. here is often something behind someone’s judgement, and it is often not about the person directly. I find this fascinating and as well, healing.
With more compassion and less blame, especially inward, I would feel free like a bird. My heart swells and opens up with the RAIN and U turn practice. I could reach my full potential, my authentic self with these practices!
Very helpful to address long standing frustration with my sister who judges me, and my occupation as a therapist. While I can’t drop my boundaries, I can release my frustration with her about her continued gossiping of my childhood behaviors without very little understanding of how I behaved as I did. No willingness to understand the impact of witnessing trauma. difficult for her to connect with truth and loses herself in image management, superficial conversation and feelings of superiority because of her income status.
The act of taking the U turn and responding in a compassionate manner by thinking of the individual’s “trapped leg” vs reacting to the story created in my mind helped me to change my story. Offering love and compassion restores connection. When I think of the way I respond and blossom when love and compassion is shown to me from others if I’m the one caught in the ‘trap’ it makes me want to be that person who can create a similar experience for others. Thank you for these videos.
Thank you Tara. This is so timely. I found myself not feeling good about myself after engaging with a dear friend about politics. After listening to this third part of your offering, I practiced the U-turn and looked at my own vulnerability. I realized that it was my own fear and uncertainty that was fueling my defensiveness and argumentative communication. I allowed myself to cry and comfort this frightened part of myself. I also feel compassion for my friend whom I projected my own fears onto in the form of judgment. Thank you for this simple, elegant, effective way to shift out of blame and judgment into compassion. My desire is to walk in this world more open heartedly. Thank you. It’s a worthy practice! Colleen
This teaching is a gentle hand reaching out in compassion. How hard it is to have self compassion. I know so many people in despair and hopelessness, including my dear granddaughter of 33 years. I want to offer this hand of support, and feel so grateful you are willing to offer from your heart to help others.
Are for the first time I get it that raking the u turn doesn’t mean liking at what you are doing wrong in a situation and adding more blame but yo get into touch with your vulnerability and how that feels
Namaste
This 3 part program I watched with my husband. We have been working on better, more loving communication and this short series really helped us to understand the real importance of self compassion. The importance of going beyond self criticism to self understanding, forgiveness and love. Thank you. This was an excellent companion to the work that we are doing and a helpful step to not being ruled by doubt, shame, blame and second arrows.
Freedom from the chains. Thank you for the pathway to forgiveness for myself and others. It’s easy to say “ you have to forgive “ but mostly it’s just more judgement.
Who would I be if I let myself if I could let go of judgement and chronic blame?
I would be at peace.
I would have composure and ease as I was able to respond with care and insight as another maybe shooting defensive arrows at me. I would be able to stay close to myself and hold myself with my heart’s tender care giving myself all I needed in that moment.
The other maybe even be less likely to shoot those arrows as they would sense that they could be less guarded with me.
I would have a deep sense of self connection and groundedness, of being home.
I would feel lighter. Navigating life without judgment and chronic blame would make me healthier. I believe judgment and blame result in self judgment and justifiable anger. I feel bad about myself even if I have not uttered the words while I am thinking the thoughts. Lastly, my heart would have more space to cultivate compassion and forgiveness for myself and others. When I do so, I have a quiet mind and an easiness within myself. Thank you for the opportunity to share.
Thank you.? I found these videos very helpful and profound. Until now, I did not realize how much the stories, judgments were playing out in my life. Continuing to judge and blame really keeps you in that emotional/energetic loop. I love the idea of the U turn practice to help open up my heart❤
This series is timely for me. Your teachings have supported me immensely through this year and the past year. It is a lot to take in. The concept of acceptance allowing freedom is not a new one for me but, today, it went a little deeper. I will focus on this concept and allow it to deepen even more. Thank you.
I only realize the underlying imperceptible stress level the pandemic has created when I get a very quick & strong reflex of anger & blame for trivial situations. My work will be to slow down enough & pause before I react. Then there goes the second arrow…. thank you for the insights.
Thank YOU for 3 excellent videos. I was thinking about my clients, but I needed #3 myself!! I will begin using this practice for improving some relationships. I cannot remember a time in our country when we all needed this any more than NOW! (Maybe the Civil War?) How do we find connection with “difficult” others? This is a concrete way to begin.
Thank you so much for this most helpful set of videos. I have been asking for support around feeling an increase in anxiety lately so these videos came in a timely moment. When i did the u-turn i felt my own vulnerability and inner exhaustion. My sense is if i let go of self-judgment and chronic blame and was more compassionate towards myself i would be more present, take better care of myself and act in life from a more present place. Thanks again for your helpful practices……Sherrie
I don’t know who I would be because I am not there yet but I imagine “Free”. I have a lot of work to do in this area. I can already see how useful this practice is for me as I was able to make the U-turn when thinking of a relationship that I have felt angry about and blamed the other. I sincerely hope that I can take the next step and see the vulnerability in the other, although I wasn’t able to today. Thank you.
Thank you Tara for the 3 videos which I found enlightening but also moving. I particularly liked the story of the dog in the trap – a very graphic way of calling to mind the “10,000 things” practice.
Jasmindra Jawanda says
Thank you/Shukriya Tara for your breadth and depth of insights, wisdom and compassion! You are truly one of our “lights” in our inner “darkness”. I have been following you for over 10 years and your book Radical Acceptance changed my inner spiritual life and my outer social life and I am deeply grateful to you for this profound change on my sacred path. I now thank you for sharing a beautiful and sacred gift of understanding and embracing our “u-turns” in life with this video, as today, again you have changed how I am walking on my inner and outer journeys on the sacred lands, lands belonging to the First Nations peoples and American Indian peoples, who have allowed us to walk here together, step by step, breath by breath….I now welcome the myriad of “u-turns”on my path:-)
with light + gratitude + blessings,
Jasmindra Jawanda
(British Columbia, Canada)
Melanie Phillips says
Thank you Tara ?
Lisa Kohn says
Thank you Tara. I spend much of my day with my hand on my heart, and I blog about it and teach it to clients. Thank you.
When I let go of blame – and there is certain blame toward my partner that I am holding onto, the blame and the story – I know I will be my best self. I will feel even more of me, “letting it rip” which is my most recent personal mantra, and feeling even more healing from my past. Thank you for reminding me to focus on self-compassion first and then to walk away from the blame story. It doesn’t make the past behavior ok, and it doesn’t mean I will I have to accept unacceptable behavior, but it will free me from how I’m holding myself in pain and confusion.
Thank you.
Asad Ali says
I’d be able to identify with beauty, strength and abundance that’s here if I could truly let go of judgment and chronic blame. I could use some help with that.
Anonymous says
A much lighter human ! I would be moving ahead on creative projects and laughing more.
Chellie Grossman says
This is a beautiful offering. Thank you. I would be peace and joy if there was no judgment and only radical compassion.
Ulrika Hansson says
More peaceful and less depression.
Eva Eldrige says
Who would I be if I let go of judgment and blame? I would still be me, but better. More relaxed, happier, more joyful and cheerful. Healthier and more helpful to others. Maybe even more focused and productive.
Anonymous says
I would be at peace
Nancy says
Thank you, Tara~
This segment was very heavy, and I’m processing the “weight.”
Kindly,
Nancy W
Hanne Kragkaer says
Thank you so much! I love your guided videos. I feel relief and love when practising.
Melanie Berz says
Another way of looking at and dealing with an old situation. Graci!
Theresa Marie says
This was beautiful calming & enlightening. ?
Cheryl says
I would be a more free person with more energy to use in other more productive ways. Thank you.
Margaret Kehoe says
Thanks, always so helpful!
Ri Cur says
I would be love..
Deborah Moyer says
Mostly, I realized how tired I am from a year of political turmoil, fear and isolation from the pandemic. I was able to feel compassion for myself and allow myself some rest in the middle of the day as I listened to the videos. Without self blame I would be a softer, gentler person and I would be okay with feeling worn out and confused by all that has transpired during this trying time. I would be more loving wife and mother and have more energy for my business.
Kate says
I particularly loved this section of the talks. It is so spot on with the u-turn consideration. here is often something behind someone’s judgement, and it is often not about the person directly. I find this fascinating and as well, healing.
Very excellent information!
K. Crist
V O says
I would be free!?
Barbara Cra says
I felt a little hardened and confused. I’m not certain how to release blame as those who were involved have passed away or live 3000 miles away.
Tammy Lacroix says
With more compassion and less blame, especially inward, I would feel free like a bird. My heart swells and opens up with the RAIN and U turn practice. I could reach my full potential, my authentic self with these practices!
GAIL CALTHROP says
A sense of releasing and letting go of tensions.
Marta Sarrion Lana says
A capable person of great potential. Thank you for your work.
Catherine Conway says
Very helpful to address long standing frustration with my sister who judges me, and my occupation as a therapist. While I can’t drop my boundaries, I can release my frustration with her about her continued gossiping of my childhood behaviors without very little understanding of how I behaved as I did. No willingness to understand the impact of witnessing trauma. difficult for her to connect with truth and loses herself in image management, superficial conversation and feelings of superiority because of her income status.
Nat Hirst says
Thank you for your insights and guidance. They are very much appreciated.
Char V says
The act of taking the U turn and responding in a compassionate manner by thinking of the individual’s “trapped leg” vs reacting to the story created in my mind helped me to change my story. Offering love and compassion restores connection. When I think of the way I respond and blossom when love and compassion is shown to me from others if I’m the one caught in the ‘trap’ it makes me want to be that person who can create a similar experience for others. Thank you for these videos.
Colleen Keene says
Thank you Tara. This is so timely. I found myself not feeling good about myself after engaging with a dear friend about politics. After listening to this third part of your offering, I practiced the U-turn and looked at my own vulnerability. I realized that it was my own fear and uncertainty that was fueling my defensiveness and argumentative communication. I allowed myself to cry and comfort this frightened part of myself. I also feel compassion for my friend whom I projected my own fears onto in the form of judgment. Thank you for this simple, elegant, effective way to shift out of blame and judgment into compassion. My desire is to walk in this world more open heartedly. Thank you. It’s a worthy practice! Colleen
Shary c says
This teaching is a gentle hand reaching out in compassion. How hard it is to have self compassion. I know so many people in despair and hopelessness, including my dear granddaughter of 33 years. I want to offer this hand of support, and feel so grateful you are willing to offer from your heart to help others.
Robyn Mc says
Are for the first time I get it that raking the u turn doesn’t mean liking at what you are doing wrong in a situation and adding more blame but yo get into touch with your vulnerability and how that feels
Namaste
Steven Toll says
Thanks so much. This has been very helpful in focusing my attention on compassion.
Deb Dohm says
This 3 part program I watched with my husband. We have been working on better, more loving communication and this short series really helped us to understand the real importance of self compassion. The importance of going beyond self criticism to self understanding, forgiveness and love. Thank you. This was an excellent companion to the work that we are doing and a helpful step to not being ruled by doubt, shame, blame and second arrows.
Jenny Heatley says
Freedom from the chains. Thank you for the pathway to forgiveness for myself and others. It’s easy to say “ you have to forgive “ but mostly it’s just more judgement.
Pat Maher says
Thank you. This process gives me hope for stepping out of the cycle of blame and negativity toward myself that I’ve been living in for a long time.
Elizabeth O'Connor says
Made a recent situation with my partner become clear. Helped me process and feel compassion for myself and my husabnd. Thanks
Helen Bambrough says
Who would I be if I let myself if I could let go of judgement and chronic blame?
I would be at peace.
I would have composure and ease as I was able to respond with care and insight as another maybe shooting defensive arrows at me. I would be able to stay close to myself and hold myself with my heart’s tender care giving myself all I needed in that moment.
The other maybe even be less likely to shoot those arrows as they would sense that they could be less guarded with me.
I would have a deep sense of self connection and groundedness, of being home.
Georgette McHale says
I would feel lighter. Navigating life without judgment and chronic blame would make me healthier. I believe judgment and blame result in self judgment and justifiable anger. I feel bad about myself even if I have not uttered the words while I am thinking the thoughts. Lastly, my heart would have more space to cultivate compassion and forgiveness for myself and others. When I do so, I have a quiet mind and an easiness within myself. Thank you for the opportunity to share.
Rosi Kasimir says
Thank you for all the good ideas in this complicated world! Healing our soul. Love from germany to all the wounded hearts.
Andrea Ehrestmann says
It feels good to let go of blame in this way! I’ll try using it in the future.
Thanks a lot for your caring presence.
Andrea
Kyara B says
Thank you again!
Continuing to work toward less fear and anger based on someone else’s suffering.
Melissa Williams says
Thank you.? I found these videos very helpful and profound. Until now, I did not realize how much the stories, judgments were playing out in my life. Continuing to judge and blame really keeps you in that emotional/energetic loop. I love the idea of the U turn practice to help open up my heart❤
Evelyn Reid says
I will -finally- be free, at peace and happy.
Thank you for such a wonderful exercise
Alan M says
I mostly blame myself
Ana Solomon says
This series is timely for me. Your teachings have supported me immensely through this year and the past year. It is a lot to take in. The concept of acceptance allowing freedom is not a new one for me but, today, it went a little deeper. I will focus on this concept and allow it to deepen even more. Thank you.
suzanne says
I only realize the underlying imperceptible stress level the pandemic has created when I get a very quick & strong reflex of anger & blame for trivial situations. My work will be to slow down enough & pause before I react. Then there goes the second arrow…. thank you for the insights.
Jay N says
Far more compassionate and supportive and reaching out to others kind of person.
Alaire Lowry says
Thank YOU for 3 excellent videos. I was thinking about my clients, but I needed #3 myself!! I will begin using this practice for improving some relationships. I cannot remember a time in our country when we all needed this any more than NOW! (Maybe the Civil War?) How do we find connection with “difficult” others? This is a concrete way to begin.
lindsay Bailey says
Fabulous workshop, thank you. ??
Sherrie Saluc says
Thank you so much for this most helpful set of videos. I have been asking for support around feeling an increase in anxiety lately so these videos came in a timely moment. When i did the u-turn i felt my own vulnerability and inner exhaustion. My sense is if i let go of self-judgment and chronic blame and was more compassionate towards myself i would be more present, take better care of myself and act in life from a more present place. Thanks again for your helpful practices……Sherrie
Susan Ryan says
I don’t know who I would be because I am not there yet but I imagine “Free”. I have a lot of work to do in this area. I can already see how useful this practice is for me as I was able to make the U-turn when thinking of a relationship that I have felt angry about and blamed the other. I sincerely hope that I can take the next step and see the vulnerability in the other, although I wasn’t able to today. Thank you.
Tim Stanyon says
Thank you Tara for the 3 videos which I found enlightening but also moving. I particularly liked the story of the dog in the trap – a very graphic way of calling to mind the “10,000 things” practice.