I need help with this so badly. Thank you for your wisdom and concern for those of us who are suffering from strained relationships and blame and judging. These methods are very helpful and your compassion are helping me shift into a healthier place. I also think about how important it is to be forgiven for MY mistakes and problems. That awakens a very strong desire to forgive others as well as myself.
It is generally not my approach to be without compassion, yet in one such example, the injustice continues – I wonder if I won’t be able to do this until the hurts have ended?
I have recently learned of this practice through you Tara, and use is almost daily. Sometimes I am able to really connect with self and see how the other person has their ‘leg stuck in a trap’ and then offer myself compassion. The lightness I feel is quite eye-opening. Other times I find resistance when I sit to practice this, like my body doesn’t want to experience the pain. This tells me to continue the practice; that with additional practice I can continue to soften my heart. thank you for this guidance!
This came to me at the perfect moment from my dear cousin whose is also my coach.
Your teachings are deeply relevant to where I am on my path and I am so great full to have received it ??
It would make me free to sense those things, which are really essential for my being. And by this finding my path through life – enligthend by the inner light houses of sensations – to all the places, where I can enfold my potentials to bring it to the world and to share it with the world.
Such a gentle way to open my heart to a full experience of life in the world. A sacred pause and a u-turn offer me freedom like I’ve never known. Thank you so much.
Thank you Tara. Listening to you really opens up somethimg inside me, the possibility to shift out of my beliefs that something is wrong, with me, with my life, with others, and I can begin to see another possible path. However, I can also sense that wanting and working on this becomes yet another place where my self-jugdement kicks in. I judge myself for not being present, not dedicated, not peaceful an self-compassionate enough. Trying to move out of that.
I’d be free to be and feel as I feel now and not as I was hurt before. What a sense of relief and spaciousness come over just thinking about it. Thank you.
This was the most powerful, relevant information I have received in a long time. Thank you so much for this information. Tara, thank you for bringing this information to us in a way we can relate to. It makes sense. Practicing RAIN throughout my day now…
I have been working with this practice for years and it is always good to have pointers and reminders of how to drop into heart space. The part about community and having people to support you and who can see you in this process some thing I’ve been trying to cultivate.
I saw that I have my own leg in a trap and that giving myself self compassion. I don’t need to shoot that arrow at another. I just need to love that part of me with kindness and compassion. As I practiced that I felt such relief a softening towards myself but also the other person.
Thank you for such a beautiful practice.
If I let go of judgment and chronic blame, I would be a happier, healthier person. I would have more room in my soul for more peace, more laughter, more compassion for others and myself.
My step would be lighter and I would be wiser. My soul would be freer to express and develop my full potential.
I have had glimpses of this guy and I like and thoroughly enjoy what I see.
Sustainability is my problem. Of course, I am tempted to blame and shame myself for not sustaining self-compassion. To live within self-acceptance more often than not is very much a growing edge. What’s life going to be like beyond the “edge”? I am both curious and scared. And for now that’s ok.
If I let go of judgment and chronic blame I would feel a lightness of spirit and compassion towards myself and others. Also I’d appreciate that our time here on earth is finite; and it’s to be cherished.
Dear Tara,
My heart felt lighter as I moved the blame from the person I was judging. I felt a softness come over me and self compassion arose in my heart.
Many thanks for your teachings they have been most helpful.
Suzanne
Thank you so much for concisely articulating these techniques. I’m impressed with how ‘transferable’ they are. As an avid CBT/DBT based psychotherapist I find these examples very practical and easy ‘take home’ exercises for my clients. I embrace the ideology of ‘radical self compassion’ and consistently integrate it into conversations in both professional AND personal relationships. Brilliant!
A happier more fulfilled & contented being, able to be more balanced & at peace with the world. Better at coping with besetting personal issues which have become deeply troubling, depriving tranquility and personal peace of mind.
thank you. this has really resonated with me, as I continue on a journey of self discovery and acceptance. Compassion is the key component i feel for all of us, whoever we are?
Thank you for sharing.
I felt lighter and softer doing this practice. It hurt to let it go and recognise my own self judgment and pain, but in doing so I felt softer.
If I let go of judgment I would be happier in my life. I will practice the compassion towards myself more. Thank you for opening my eyes to this topic!
If I let go of judgement and chronic blame with my husband, oof, I wouldn’t be the person he steels himself against when he sees the emotional storm clouds gather in my face. I would have more time to do lovely things rather than lose time in regret and self blame/self questioning.
If I let go of judgment and chronic blame, I will be able to move out of living in my head and into being more present in my life. I will be able to connect with others on a deeper and more genuine level.
I found it difficult at this at first – to do that I turn abd ser the other person with wounds. But I can see it leads to freedom and self compassion .
If I let go of judgment and chronic blame I would be a lot happier! I would be less overwhelmed with the feelings that arise from judgment that actually prevent me from connecting with the person who I care about and want to be closer with. It was very helpful when I was able to drop the story and focus on my experience.
Thank you ??
letting go of blame and judgement i would be the playful, happy inner child that so wants an open, softened heart, free to be vulnerable and innocent.
FREE!!!
I will have to repeat this process often. I realize that have buried the things that make me angry and frustrated, deep. Already with this short video I cried when I put my hand on my heart and show some self acceptance. I want to change and heal and I want to feel self-acceptance and love myself again.
This troubles me. One passive brother is caught up in a compassionate spiritual awakening upon being present in the hospice at the moment my mother transitioned…it’s a pattern, even his own amoral behaviour cloaked by the very words Tara spoke…lala love…. egregious behaviour by her husband that purposed my mother’s isolation and suffering expediting her death from a bizarre brain infection..into hospice means nothing now. Why have elder abuse laws?
Where do I fit in with my position.? Her husband resents my past challenging him. Her husband held the hospice phone in the air when I thought I expressed my love to her ear…yet then I had a sense my mother’s energy was not there.. Later the nurse discovered I was correct, by her husbands own admittance. So the nurse allowed me to hear her breath and connect. And more.
That’s his scary character. I could not get a charm out of her things if I asked to keep for myself.. And I knew/saw her most over all her kids. She always said I was to take care of her…She asked me to live with them. I now know why. But I’m also the pariah of the family, interestingly a role from her.
Where do you decide to look away from the wrong actions of another. Can I not have compassion for this man and still want justice. Is justice his investigation? Again, why are their elder abuse laws?
Why is it correct that his criminal behaviour is dismissed. When she needed me most. She had rights of comfort. She had the right to the least amount of physical and mental suffering possible. Why are there laws at all with this belief system I just heard Tara?
I have truly forgiven others for harming me. To harm my mother when she could not care for herself… I can have compassion for a stranger and still press charges. Im required to look away from this? Under what form of morality?
Cheryl Wilson says
I need help with this so badly. Thank you for your wisdom and concern for those of us who are suffering from strained relationships and blame and judging. These methods are very helpful and your compassion are helping me shift into a healthier place. I also think about how important it is to be forgiven for MY mistakes and problems. That awakens a very strong desire to forgive others as well as myself.
Joy Full says
It is generally not my approach to be without compassion, yet in one such example, the injustice continues – I wonder if I won’t be able to do this until the hurts have ended?
Maureen says
Thank you. I loved the U-turn practice.
judith says
wonderful : time and time again. thank you.
Laura L says
I have recently learned of this practice through you Tara, and use is almost daily. Sometimes I am able to really connect with self and see how the other person has their ‘leg stuck in a trap’ and then offer myself compassion. The lightness I feel is quite eye-opening. Other times I find resistance when I sit to practice this, like my body doesn’t want to experience the pain. This tells me to continue the practice; that with additional practice I can continue to soften my heart. thank you for this guidance!
Susan Bridges says
I checked this out to get ideas for treating a psychotherapy client, and ended up applying the ideas to my own resentments.
Wanda Harssema says
Thank you – the U-turn is an amazing idea.
Cindy says
Freeing, free, to be me. To put down the arrows of self judgement. To live and breath and act as I am worthy.
C Ferrier says
Thank you. A very simple, practical route to healing.
Martina Koisova says
Really enjoyed it, will practice it more often.
Janey says
I would be more at peace, more centred and interestingly I found the right part of my body ‘full’ and in the left part of my body ’emptier’
Sarah Rajski says
Thanks for opening my head and heart.
Ellana Kent says
This came to me at the perfect moment from my dear cousin whose is also my coach.
Your teachings are deeply relevant to where I am on my path and I am so great full to have received it ??
Martin Kienboeck says
It would make me free to sense those things, which are really essential for my being. And by this finding my path through life – enligthend by the inner light houses of sensations – to all the places, where I can enfold my potentials to bring it to the world and to share it with the world.
Elaine Gu says
I would be more relaxed and more appreciative. I should focus on the other person’s good virtues.
Jen Norfolk says
Such a gentle way to open my heart to a full experience of life in the world. A sacred pause and a u-turn offer me freedom like I’ve never known. Thank you so much.
Sandy Kaufman says
I can’t wait to share this with a couple I am working with that is very stuck, thank you!
Maria Sachadae says
Thank you Tara. Listening to you really opens up somethimg inside me, the possibility to shift out of my beliefs that something is wrong, with me, with my life, with others, and I can begin to see another possible path. However, I can also sense that wanting and working on this becomes yet another place where my self-jugdement kicks in. I judge myself for not being present, not dedicated, not peaceful an self-compassionate enough. Trying to move out of that.
Dina Sal says
I’d be free to be and feel as I feel now and not as I was hurt before. What a sense of relief and spaciousness come over just thinking about it. Thank you.
ruth tooker says
Loved this one and the story of the dog whose leg was in the trap. Very helpful
Linda Kay says
Excellent metaphors
Deborah M says
Such a sense of relief to offer kindness to myself! What a concept! This has not been my practice until recently. So thank you.
Kristina Behringer says
Ahhhh, filled with tremendous sadness but was able to allow myself to feel this and was able to move into my heart space.
SaraAnn Vipond says
This was the most powerful, relevant information I have received in a long time. Thank you so much for this information. Tara, thank you for bringing this information to us in a way we can relate to. It makes sense. Practicing RAIN throughout my day now…
Elizabeth says
The person I am more truly meant to be.
Mary Daly says
very nice and helpful information. I am interested in finding out more
R G says
I have been working with this practice for years and it is always good to have pointers and reminders of how to drop into heart space. The part about community and having people to support you and who can see you in this process some thing I’ve been trying to cultivate.
Karen Walsh says
I saw that I have my own leg in a trap and that giving myself self compassion. I don’t need to shoot that arrow at another. I just need to love that part of me with kindness and compassion. As I practiced that I felt such relief a softening towards myself but also the other person.
Thank you for such a beautiful practice.
Adela says
If I let go of judgment and chronic blame, I would be a happier, healthier person. I would have more room in my soul for more peace, more laughter, more compassion for others and myself.
My step would be lighter and I would be wiser. My soul would be freer to express and develop my full potential.
Thank you Tara!
Richard Vantrease says
I have had glimpses of this guy and I like and thoroughly enjoy what I see.
Sustainability is my problem. Of course, I am tempted to blame and shame myself for not sustaining self-compassion. To live within self-acceptance more often than not is very much a growing edge. What’s life going to be like beyond the “edge”? I am both curious and scared. And for now that’s ok.
Anonymous says
If I let go of judgment and chronic blame I would feel a lightness of spirit and compassion towards myself and others. Also I’d appreciate that our time here on earth is finite; and it’s to be cherished.
Suzanne Anker says
Dear Tara,
My heart felt lighter as I moved the blame from the person I was judging. I felt a softness come over me and self compassion arose in my heart.
Many thanks for your teachings they have been most helpful.
Suzanne
Saria Reynolds says
Thank you so much for concisely articulating these techniques. I’m impressed with how ‘transferable’ they are. As an avid CBT/DBT based psychotherapist I find these examples very practical and easy ‘take home’ exercises for my clients. I embrace the ideology of ‘radical self compassion’ and consistently integrate it into conversations in both professional AND personal relationships. Brilliant!
Anonymous says
A leader? A philosopher?
Alex L says
I would be free and kind and loving.
Anonymous says
Namaste
Onni Tikka says
I would be more corageous, compassionate and wise
Robert Chesn says
A happier more fulfilled & contented being, able to be more balanced & at peace with the world. Better at coping with besetting personal issues which have become deeply troubling, depriving tranquility and personal peace of mind.
Sue Hensman says
thank you. this has really resonated with me, as I continue on a journey of self discovery and acceptance. Compassion is the key component i feel for all of us, whoever we are?
Natasha Harrison says
Thank you for sharing.
I felt lighter and softer doing this practice. It hurt to let it go and recognise my own self judgment and pain, but in doing so I felt softer.
Magdalena S. says
If I let go of judgment I would be happier in my life. I will practice the compassion towards myself more. Thank you for opening my eyes to this topic!
Norla Hebdersin says
If I let go of judgement and chronic blame with my husband, oof, I wouldn’t be the person he steels himself against when he sees the emotional storm clouds gather in my face. I would have more time to do lovely things rather than lose time in regret and self blame/self questioning.
Erica Nye says
If I let go of judgment and chronic blame, I will be able to move out of living in my head and into being more present in my life. I will be able to connect with others on a deeper and more genuine level.
Thelma Briseno says
It really helped to release self doubt and I felt reassured in my professional/career decisions. This was extremely helpful. Thank you!
Kris Nolan says
I found it difficult at this at first – to do that I turn abd ser the other person with wounds. But I can see it leads to freedom and self compassion .
Susan Lassiter says
If I let go of judgment and chronic blame I would be a lot happier! I would be less overwhelmed with the feelings that arise from judgment that actually prevent me from connecting with the person who I care about and want to be closer with. It was very helpful when I was able to drop the story and focus on my experience.
Thank you ??
cindy says
letting go of blame and judgement i would be the playful, happy inner child that so wants an open, softened heart, free to be vulnerable and innocent.
FREE!!!
Juliana Tamsen says
I will have to repeat this process often. I realize that have buried the things that make me angry and frustrated, deep. Already with this short video I cried when I put my hand on my heart and show some self acceptance. I want to change and heal and I want to feel self-acceptance and love myself again.
Sky Blu says
This troubles me. One passive brother is caught up in a compassionate spiritual awakening upon being present in the hospice at the moment my mother transitioned…it’s a pattern, even his own amoral behaviour cloaked by the very words Tara spoke…lala love…. egregious behaviour by her husband that purposed my mother’s isolation and suffering expediting her death from a bizarre brain infection..into hospice means nothing now. Why have elder abuse laws?
Where do I fit in with my position.? Her husband resents my past challenging him. Her husband held the hospice phone in the air when I thought I expressed my love to her ear…yet then I had a sense my mother’s energy was not there.. Later the nurse discovered I was correct, by her husbands own admittance. So the nurse allowed me to hear her breath and connect. And more.
That’s his scary character. I could not get a charm out of her things if I asked to keep for myself.. And I knew/saw her most over all her kids. She always said I was to take care of her…She asked me to live with them. I now know why. But I’m also the pariah of the family, interestingly a role from her.
Where do you decide to look away from the wrong actions of another. Can I not have compassion for this man and still want justice. Is justice his investigation? Again, why are their elder abuse laws?
Why is it correct that his criminal behaviour is dismissed. When she needed me most. She had rights of comfort. She had the right to the least amount of physical and mental suffering possible. Why are there laws at all with this belief system I just heard Tara?
I have truly forgiven others for harming me. To harm my mother when she could not care for herself… I can have compassion for a stranger and still press charges. Im required to look away from this? Under what form of morality?
tracy says
these are great but the background music is way too distracting.