I would be a wealthy happy leader of land and community regeneration company work and healer in a grand couple relationship with beautiful children and animals all around me
Thank you! This was very helpful as I still have resentment towards some situations … I had been working on letting go but this helped to push me forward. I feel like I can finally start making some progress.
So grateful for your teachings Tara, i have been following your guidance since 2012 and each year i have grown in a way i never thought possible. Thank you from the bottom of my heart cause you enabled me to access this information according to my financial circumstances which is paramount to my learning…and all the people like you. Sounds True and many more. Sheola
Having retired from a clinical practice just over a year ago, has given me ample opportunity now to do more creative writing closer to my heart, and hopefully more experiential travel. i sense this as a period of transition involving a metamorphosis, discarding the label as psychotherapist (calling myself an artist and author!), redefining my relationship, and much more. Perhaps novel has been the period of solitude, which has been a double-edged sword, giving me an opportunity tio relish silence, yet introduces much loneliness. I find comfort relating to othees, for example, listening to the broadcast from Tara, recognising that communication with others is essential during these phases of reorientation.
I am puzzled and resent the question.
The implication is that I would be someone other than who I am. I can be loving and kind and still carry the judgments I have, Real or imagined
thanks so much Tara, this was a really useful session- I carry a lot of hurt and anger towards my ex husband but I know it doesnt serve me or my family well to remain stuck with these feelings. I will practice self compassion and try and view the hurt and pain through a different lense, thank you.
Bless you Tara, for sharing your healing video. Doing the u-turn and feeling what’s beneath the blame, enables me to stay with and attend to my worries and fears. It brings me to where I can grow. Much love and thanks xxx
I know that that would make me happier more relaxed person. The self- judgement and the fear are so deeply buried that it is difficult to feel them at all.
I think I would be happier, more relaxed and kinder. I hold on to my blaming and judgement of others as though I’m better, and feel resentment because I feel they are preventing me from living a life that I think I should be living. What that is I’m not even sure. I’m tired of holding onto this blame and resentment. I want to let it go.
It’s interesting. I find myself at different times being able to process right through my feelings, understanding and insight. other times I go back and forth on more of a surface level of accessing some of my superficial feelings, trying to find a balance of how I fit in the world at large, and trying to figure out the dynamics of a situation that I didn’t seem to be prepared for.
I’d be more whole and connected to all if I let go of my judgements.
Tara thank you so much! Knowing you are in the world gives me and I’m sure many others inspiration of deep and dear human values which can change the world. I’m deeply inspired and deeply grateful.
Acknowledging my own vulnerability of feeling unworthy and not enough led me to feel unsafe in my relationship. The practice of the U-turn exercise – shifting my attention away from the story of how I felt wronged – guided me to understand my own woundedness and the need for protecting myself through judgement and blame. Although I knew this in my head the compassion for self was missing. I am ready. Thank you.
I just want to say thank you again and again. If I let go of judgment and chronic blame, I would hope to find peace at a deeper level and stop being so vulnerable to seeing myself as “less”. Day by day…
I love the gentleness of your voice and facial expressions because it allowed myself to slow down enough and see how the UJ-Turn and discovering other vulnerabilities can soften my own judgment. In my life, I sometimes have to send my overly critical judgments fishing for a week or so. Thanks, Dr. Todd.
I would be the compassionate, non-judging person I’ve been. I would drop this burden and open my heart to the time I have left and not waste the joy that is available.
This is such a meditative and mellow day for me. But recently it hasnt been so. Blame and self-jugement took the better of me.
Today you helped me amon other ways and people to soften, to stop,to do the simple ‘reaching to my heart with my hand’. I softened. I breath more consciously. I meditate how I am a friend to myself and if I will really be able to do all those Saturday list of things.
I breath.
and sit down.
I put my handon my heart.
I will start with the accounting.
Maybe I will read a bit or more.
and then I will see if cleaning is for today or tomortow.
I will go and meet people at the tantric meditation in the evening.
It would allow me to be my real self and to have compassion for others as I treat myself more compassionately. It’s a win-win for all and can only make the world a better place.
Thank you for the metaphor Tara it helps put things in perspective and fosters compassion for the woundedness of others.
Just a follow on question from that, if despite our compassion for others their woundedness continues to emanate toxicity in the relationship, is it still helpful to remain compassionate but also avoid their negative energy i.e., avoid them or reduce contact?
I discovered that my feelings of hurt and distress started from my marriage when I was told I was never good enough and always put down if I tried to express any view.
Now in my present relationship I’m recognizing the same things happening and feeling the desire to hurt the other person.
After listening to your talk I hope I can see the vulnerability and do the U turn.
Thank you.
I’m really grateful for these three sessions I just listened to. Honestly I’m feeling all churned up inside. While I want to take the U-turn, it’s hard. I keep scittering back to blaming those who have hurt me, worrying about how I have hurt them, and feeling all churned up and unworthy of live, respect and consideration. There’s a lot of work to do here.
It struck me that our hearts can become progressively shut down from a very early age. Possible from overbearing parents or siblings. Then maybe from our first loves, breakups etc. Then work colleagues or bosses and further during our own marriages or partnerships.
I thought about my first insecurities arising from Father issues and then failures in sports at school and then being hurt when a girl dumped me. All of these progressively caused me to build in protections, barriers.
Addressing these. Identifying the other persons leg in the trap most certainly helped release my own sense of judgement and open my heart to compassion, melting away the hurts and fears. It’s like pealing an onion. Many layers to uncover.
But then I have to face the consequences of my actions to others based upon having a closed of heart. Almost mirroring some of the actions imposed on me from earlier days. This is like looking at the other side of the mirror.
In some respects this requires more work for I am now dealing with my own leg in the trap. Snarling and biting others. The author of those actions. Ones which are not in alignment with my inner being. My true self.
I guess it’s a double edged sword which requires careful handling. A cultivated meditative mind. One progressively trained which can guide the process and not be overwhelmed as the door opens to the closet where all the hurts are stored.
Cause and effect going hand in hand. No wonder adept meditators go live an a cave for many years. So much clearing to be done.
I could hold myself and others in compassion and still keep a healthy and safe distance. Because I do not expect everyone to magically change just because of my forgiveness. I have tried and been hurt before. So I am learning to forgive, to hold in compassion, to be vulnerable with an open heart but still keep that strong back.
When someone else’s choices have left you hurt and afraid it’s very hard to do the U-turn to promote more vulnerability and compassion for both you and the other person, but it’s definitely something I want to learn to do. It’s the only way for true healing and reconnection. Thank you for this message.
If could let go of self judgement feel open to self vulnerability, therefore don’t blame because opens me to another perspective. Then able to do this for therapy who hurt or cause me grief. Quite a few people at moment involved in this and close family members so been very difficult times.
I believe by practicing these suggestions I have more awareness of who I am- my true self, and that when I am confronted with anger and blame from others, I will practice noticing there leg is in a trap.
Daphne -- says
I would be peace and harmony all the time! Thank you!
Anonymous says
I would be peace and harmony all the time! Thank you!
Pati Carla says
If I would let go my judgement, blame and shameI could free myself from sadness and can go ahead with my woman prosperity
Roseanne Edwards says
A happier person who could perhaps help others I love.
Diane SURMA says
This program came at the right time for me. Thank you, Tara.
Marie-Angel Chevrier says
I would be a wealthy happy leader of land and community regeneration company work and healer in a grand couple relationship with beautiful children and animals all around me
Tam Other says
Thank you! This was very helpful as I still have resentment towards some situations … I had been working on letting go but this helped to push me forward. I feel like I can finally start making some progress.
Cherie Stitt says
I would be free and I would be heavenly. Full of love and contentment. Easy breezy.
M Galv says
Good stuff
W T says
I will be working on this. What I experienced during the video gives me hope of a greater shift. Thank you!
Nicole says
Thanks Tara, Nicole, art therapist from Quebec
Sheola Mac says
So grateful for your teachings Tara, i have been following your guidance since 2012 and each year i have grown in a way i never thought possible. Thank you from the bottom of my heart cause you enabled me to access this information according to my financial circumstances which is paramount to my learning…and all the people like you. Sounds True and many more. Sheola
david author says
Having retired from a clinical practice just over a year ago, has given me ample opportunity now to do more creative writing closer to my heart, and hopefully more experiential travel. i sense this as a period of transition involving a metamorphosis, discarding the label as psychotherapist (calling myself an artist and author!), redefining my relationship, and much more. Perhaps novel has been the period of solitude, which has been a double-edged sword, giving me an opportunity tio relish silence, yet introduces much loneliness. I find comfort relating to othees, for example, listening to the broadcast from Tara, recognising that communication with others is essential during these phases of reorientation.
Monique Daniel says
I love what you shared here Tara Brach! Both the practice and what you said in the end! Thank you.
Rosie says
Open to loving kindness and opportunity.
Inci Ali says
I am puzzled and resent the question.
The implication is that I would be someone other than who I am. I can be loving and kind and still carry the judgments I have, Real or imagined
Philippa Farmer says
thanks so much Tara, this was a really useful session- I carry a lot of hurt and anger towards my ex husband but I know it doesnt serve me or my family well to remain stuck with these feelings. I will practice self compassion and try and view the hurt and pain through a different lense, thank you.
Lorraine Conlon says
Thank you
Geke Kiers says
A loving warm person . I than would be My trui self .
Jan Lancaster says
Bless you Tara, for sharing your healing video. Doing the u-turn and feeling what’s beneath the blame, enables me to stay with and attend to my worries and fears. It brings me to where I can grow. Much love and thanks xxx
Eva says
I know that that would make me happier more relaxed person. The self- judgement and the fear are so deeply buried that it is difficult to feel them at all.
Mark S says
I think I would be happier, more relaxed and kinder. I hold on to my blaming and judgement of others as though I’m better, and feel resentment because I feel they are preventing me from living a life that I think I should be living. What that is I’m not even sure. I’m tired of holding onto this blame and resentment. I want to let it go.
W M says
It’s interesting. I find myself at different times being able to process right through my feelings, understanding and insight. other times I go back and forth on more of a surface level of accessing some of my superficial feelings, trying to find a balance of how I fit in the world at large, and trying to figure out the dynamics of a situation that I didn’t seem to be prepared for.
Judy says
Blessings for yourkindnessTara
Self compassion is so new to me
It feels the time is right
Maria Henery says
I’d be more whole and connected to all if I let go of my judgements.
Tara thank you so much! Knowing you are in the world gives me and I’m sure many others inspiration of deep and dear human values which can change the world. I’m deeply inspired and deeply grateful.
c voets says
I felt more compassionate for the person I have been holding resentment toward.
Thank you
Rose says
A warmer more loving active person.
Gratiana Achim says
I feel my burden will lift and my light would shine brighter.
anita says
Acknowledging my own vulnerability of feeling unworthy and not enough led me to feel unsafe in my relationship. The practice of the U-turn exercise – shifting my attention away from the story of how I felt wronged – guided me to understand my own woundedness and the need for protecting myself through judgement and blame. Although I knew this in my head the compassion for self was missing. I am ready. Thank you.
Kathy Dierkes says
I would be a joyful and free and peaceful person if I let go of judgment and blame.
Anon says
I imagine someone braver, more insightful & compassionate. Thank you so much.
Beverly says
I just want to say thank you again and again. If I let go of judgment and chronic blame, I would hope to find peace at a deeper level and stop being so vulnerable to seeing myself as “less”. Day by day…
Anonymous says
I love the gentleness of your voice and facial expressions because it allowed myself to slow down enough and see how the UJ-Turn and discovering other vulnerabilities can soften my own judgment. In my life, I sometimes have to send my overly critical judgments fishing for a week or so. Thanks, Dr. Todd.
Jean Henry says
I think I would be a more peaceful person and more able to enjoy life!
Sue O says
I would be the compassionate, non-judging person I’ve been. I would drop this burden and open my heart to the time I have left and not waste the joy that is available.
Agn Kli says
This is such a meditative and mellow day for me. But recently it hasnt been so. Blame and self-jugement took the better of me.
Today you helped me amon other ways and people to soften, to stop,to do the simple ‘reaching to my heart with my hand’. I softened. I breath more consciously. I meditate how I am a friend to myself and if I will really be able to do all those Saturday list of things.
I breath.
and sit down.
I put my handon my heart.
I will start with the accounting.
Maybe I will read a bit or more.
and then I will see if cleaning is for today or tomortow.
I will go and meet people at the tantric meditation in the evening.
Perhpas this is only what my day is to be.
Tony Crowe says
I would be grateful for life 🙏 I would be the person I have always wanted to be
Anonymous says
My authentic self
Terri Hensle says
It would allow me to be my real self and to have compassion for others as I treat myself more compassionately. It’s a win-win for all and can only make the world a better place.
r mac says
Thank you for the metaphor Tara it helps put things in perspective and fosters compassion for the woundedness of others.
Just a follow on question from that, if despite our compassion for others their woundedness continues to emanate toxicity in the relationship, is it still helpful to remain compassionate but also avoid their negative energy i.e., avoid them or reduce contact?
Janet George says
I discovered that my feelings of hurt and distress started from my marriage when I was told I was never good enough and always put down if I tried to express any view.
Now in my present relationship I’m recognizing the same things happening and feeling the desire to hurt the other person.
After listening to your talk I hope I can see the vulnerability and do the U turn.
Thank you.
Eileen Brenner says
I’m really grateful for these three sessions I just listened to. Honestly I’m feeling all churned up inside. While I want to take the U-turn, it’s hard. I keep scittering back to blaming those who have hurt me, worrying about how I have hurt them, and feeling all churned up and unworthy of live, respect and consideration. There’s a lot of work to do here.
Garry says
It struck me that our hearts can become progressively shut down from a very early age. Possible from overbearing parents or siblings. Then maybe from our first loves, breakups etc. Then work colleagues or bosses and further during our own marriages or partnerships.
I thought about my first insecurities arising from Father issues and then failures in sports at school and then being hurt when a girl dumped me. All of these progressively caused me to build in protections, barriers.
Addressing these. Identifying the other persons leg in the trap most certainly helped release my own sense of judgement and open my heart to compassion, melting away the hurts and fears. It’s like pealing an onion. Many layers to uncover.
But then I have to face the consequences of my actions to others based upon having a closed of heart. Almost mirroring some of the actions imposed on me from earlier days. This is like looking at the other side of the mirror.
In some respects this requires more work for I am now dealing with my own leg in the trap. Snarling and biting others. The author of those actions. Ones which are not in alignment with my inner being. My true self.
I guess it’s a double edged sword which requires careful handling. A cultivated meditative mind. One progressively trained which can guide the process and not be overwhelmed as the door opens to the closet where all the hurts are stored.
Cause and effect going hand in hand. No wonder adept meditators go live an a cave for many years. So much clearing to be done.
Marta S. Lana says
I have no clue
V E says
I would be my authentic true self.
Sohrab F says
I would be more free to be my true self.
I could hold myself and others in compassion and still keep a healthy and safe distance. Because I do not expect everyone to magically change just because of my forgiveness. I have tried and been hurt before. So I am learning to forgive, to hold in compassion, to be vulnerable with an open heart but still keep that strong back.
Anonymous says
I will practice, thank you.
Anonymous L says
When someone else’s choices have left you hurt and afraid it’s very hard to do the U-turn to promote more vulnerability and compassion for both you and the other person, but it’s definitely something I want to learn to do. It’s the only way for true healing and reconnection. Thank you for this message.
Trish B says
If could let go of self judgement feel open to self vulnerability, therefore don’t blame because opens me to another perspective. Then able to do this for therapy who hurt or cause me grief. Quite a few people at moment involved in this and close family members so been very difficult times.
Anonymous says
I believe by practicing these suggestions I have more awareness of who I am- my true self, and that when I am confronted with anger and blame from others, I will practice noticing there leg is in a trap.