Thank you for the U-Turn exercise. It was very powerful for me and helped me to feel more love and compassion for myself and to not blame the other person. I know they experienced far more pain in their upbringing and I don’t really know how to help them with that. But I can help myself thanks to this simple but deeply vulnerable exercise you have shared. Many thanks! Love Georgina xo
I realized a strong judgement I was having of another was a hidden judgement of the same issue in myself. The hidden nature was keeping me from moving forward. Thank you for this exercise.
Thank you Tara, I really love the stories & examples. I can now see why my ex partner cut off all contact & I now have compassion towards this. I’ve shifted from my own feelings of blame & hurt to recognising her vulnerability and need for the boundary of no contact.
Thankyou so much Tara for giving me the insight and motivation for seeing again what I am holding onto.My boundary setting isn’t very good and I’m often blamed for giving to much and then I suffer from physical pain even more but also resentment because what I give is often not seen,because people are so used to me saying yes.Recently my Auntie has needed to go into a nursing home,and I’ve had to communicate with a cousin I don’t know very well,but her and her siblings (my other cousins) really hate each other and haven’t spoken for years.I have now realised she has been frightening me since last November with her rage,her nasty e.mails,making me feel like I’m too soft as she loves been as nasty as she can be if she’s angry.I now understand that she’s hurting from not having love or trust in her life.I am still feeling overwhelmed and untrustworthy of her,but I’m aware now of how my body and mind has been clenched,my stomach and my heart racing.
But I can practice giving myself some compassion to be kinder to my self judgments on not being good enough, I know I try my best but I want to really hear these words towards myself.
I can see how we are both suffering from similar trauma from our childhoods of not being worthy and we are both reacting in our different ways.
Thankyou for giving me the tools for this and to work on these areas.
Hello – I absolutely know all this, but despite that, still struggle to remember to do the U-turn and see the woundedness of the people who seem to have (or continue to) hurt me. Your presence and embodiment of this may have me remember more frequently and be more willing to do the practices. That’s huge! Thank you.
Thank you for a lovely talk! If I may make a suggestion: Compassion is good and helpful but pain could have happened because of a lack of boundaries. People are scared that their lack ofboundaries may open themselves up for pain again. How about a talk on how to apply good boundaries with compassion.
Thank you Tara & NIBCAM for providing all of this.
I have followed & shared much of Tara’s work via books, Insight Timer & Utube. I’m also alonglife student of meditation, compassion & meditation & believe very much in the freedom & loving glow of letting go & forgiveness – although I had/ sometimes have / forgotten about directing that to myself. Fortuitously as a trained psychotherapist & counsellor & via supervision therapy & webinars like these I’m happily moving towards a more collective understanding of the way we can heal each other & ourselves & am joyous to be reminded of this via such sharing as this ⭐️👍🏽⭐️So, so much gratitude to you all. 🙏❤️🌸😎🤗🥰
Thank you so much Tara. Your explanation of the U, is for me very important. I am involved in a few difficult situations, where blamin “him” is my most important help to deal with it. And that is no help at all: it only makes my pain grow. It was /is very hard for me to find and use the U turn. Step by step it is growing to use it as a possible salvation now.
Thank you very much
Thank you Tara for such helpful exercises. I liked the story about the dog. I think the U turn exercise is really going to be very helpful as a first step and seeing the vulnerability will be more possible with lots of practise at the U turn first.
Thank you for this free video sessions. All three made lot of sense for me. I am on my path for 10 years now and shifting from self-hatred to self compassion and self love is my direction. I wish to help my clients on their paths towards self love. Your sessions brought me softness, warmth and hope. Thank you for your work. Hana
Thank you for your freely shared knowledge, practices, help and compassion.
It made me realise that my heart is weighed down deep inside with self blame over the breakup with my partner a year ago, even though in my mind I know I have done the best I could with my understanding and compassion at the time. This realisation is allowing me to be compassionate with myself, feeling the grief, at the same time holding the second arrow in the knowledge that not one heart can fix the challenges of a relationship in need of mutual adjustments.
Thank you for the free teachings , which really got my attention. I really want to start the restructuring of automatic thoughts like “its my fault”, or the “secret blame” I hold for some people in my life .
I found this very confronting. The story about grief at never having a parent that loved them was so difficult. On my second attempt my activity was probably too hard because I am trying to open my heart to myself. I’m caught in the trap. I’m grieving about having a family that could never love me. My greatest wish is to feel loved and accepted by others.
Very helpful practice – it can be hard to move away from the blame – it feels very strong sometimes. But when I do, I feel softer in myself and more compassion for the other person. I know I need to practice it more for it to become natural.
Thank you Tara for once again helping me to get out of my head and into my heart. I love my heart so much, and it deserves to be loved with compassion and grace. It deserves to be open with loving kindness – its natural state, what it yearns for and what it yearns to be. If I let go of the fear and judgement and blame, I can exalt in my true nature. This is what I came here to do, to fulfill the dreams of my precious heart. Thanks for the tools!
Gracias! Por brindar espacios de sanacion y de amor! Son una señal de que la compasión y la ayuda a otros, forman parte del nuevo mundo, que se está creando ahora ♥️
DOREEN JERRET, Other, BLOOMFIELD HILLS, MI, USAsays
When I stopped and focused on this lesson, I was surprised to realize how the second arrow was really eating my self-esteem and had memories of how many opportunities I didn’t take advantage of out of fear of not being good enough. I now think the fear was not only of creating the negative feelings – like embarrassment, shame, etc.- but the harsh beating myself up for having those feelings that gives me a sense of not being good enough. Realizing this gave me a sense of empowerment because if I am doing this to myself, i have the power to stop it and don’t feel so dependent on what others think. I don’t have to beat myself up because of what someone else thinks.
If I let go of shame which is really what is running me, I believe I will be a more complete balanced and whole human being.
My problem is I am not sure how I can stop feeling the shame.
I truly love myself and self compassion doesn’t seem to be enough, yet.
maybe its the full program that will answer the question, but while its great and understand how to refocus and see others ‘broken leg’, how do you deal with a situation where the ‘dog’ still hurting you today the same way as they did 50 years ago…its almost somebody keeps chucking mud at you or a stone and you do what???
I realize that i have been fairly generous with my forgiveness in the past. Not so generous to myself in acknowledging my needs and feelings. That seems to stand in the way of self compassion for me. I tried so hard to be “good”. I left my honest feelings out. Not that I want to start blaming now!
judith felsen, Another Field, bartlett, NH, USAsays
Thank you for a powerful, yet gentle and kind reminder of how we can truly live and experience with openness all facets of life. Thank you. With gratitude and love, Judith
I would be more loving and accepting and kinder to myself and others.
Thank you for the U-Turn exercise. It was very powerful for me and helped me to feel more love and compassion for myself and to not blame the other person. I know they experienced far more pain in their upbringing and I don’t really know how to help them with that. But I can help myself thanks to this simple but deeply vulnerable exercise you have shared. Many thanks! Love Georgina xo
I realized a strong judgement I was having of another was a hidden judgement of the same issue in myself. The hidden nature was keeping me from moving forward. Thank you for this exercise.
Thank you Tara, I really love the stories & examples. I can now see why my ex partner cut off all contact & I now have compassion towards this. I’ve shifted from my own feelings of blame & hurt to recognising her vulnerability and need for the boundary of no contact.
A very clear explanation of how important self awareness, self compassion and compassion for others is. Thank you.
Thankyou so much Tara for giving me the insight and motivation for seeing again what I am holding onto.My boundary setting isn’t very good and I’m often blamed for giving to much and then I suffer from physical pain even more but also resentment because what I give is often not seen,because people are so used to me saying yes.Recently my Auntie has needed to go into a nursing home,and I’ve had to communicate with a cousin I don’t know very well,but her and her siblings (my other cousins) really hate each other and haven’t spoken for years.I have now realised she has been frightening me since last November with her rage,her nasty e.mails,making me feel like I’m too soft as she loves been as nasty as she can be if she’s angry.I now understand that she’s hurting from not having love or trust in her life.I am still feeling overwhelmed and untrustworthy of her,but I’m aware now of how my body and mind has been clenched,my stomach and my heart racing.
But I can practice giving myself some compassion to be kinder to my self judgments on not being good enough, I know I try my best but I want to really hear these words towards myself.
I can see how we are both suffering from similar trauma from our childhoods of not being worthy and we are both reacting in our different ways.
Thankyou for giving me the tools for this and to work on these areas.
So grateful for Tara’s wisdom.
Very helpful to understand where our own anger and blame comes from and how transformative self compassion can be
Thank you Tara – beautifully clear and nurturing to the soul!
Thank you for these practices, Tara – they will be very helpful indeed!
Hello – I absolutely know all this, but despite that, still struggle to remember to do the U-turn and see the woundedness of the people who seem to have (or continue to) hurt me. Your presence and embodiment of this may have me remember more frequently and be more willing to do the practices. That’s huge! Thank you.
Thank you for a lovely talk! If I may make a suggestion: Compassion is good and helpful but pain could have happened because of a lack of boundaries. People are scared that their lack ofboundaries may open themselves up for pain again. How about a talk on how to apply good boundaries with compassion.
Thank you Tara & NIBCAM for providing all of this.
I have followed & shared much of Tara’s work via books, Insight Timer & Utube. I’m also alonglife student of meditation, compassion & meditation & believe very much in the freedom & loving glow of letting go & forgiveness – although I had/ sometimes have / forgotten about directing that to myself. Fortuitously as a trained psychotherapist & counsellor & via supervision therapy & webinars like these I’m happily moving towards a more collective understanding of the way we can heal each other & ourselves & am joyous to be reminded of this via such sharing as this ⭐️👍🏽⭐️So, so much gratitude to you all. 🙏❤️🌸😎🤗🥰
Thank you Tara for your wisdom as ever, a useful reminder of the power of compassion in my life!
I would be myself, and I have no idea who that is.
Thank you so much Tara. Your explanation of the U, is for me very important. I am involved in a few difficult situations, where blamin “him” is my most important help to deal with it. And that is no help at all: it only makes my pain grow. It was /is very hard for me to find and use the U turn. Step by step it is growing to use it as a possible salvation now.
Thank you very much
I think I would open my heart to true joy and connection to myself and others. Thank you Tara for your wisdom and kindness!
Thank you Tara for such helpful exercises. I liked the story about the dog. I think the U turn exercise is really going to be very helpful as a first step and seeing the vulnerability will be more possible with lots of practise at the U turn first.
Thank you for this free video sessions. All three made lot of sense for me. I am on my path for 10 years now and shifting from self-hatred to self compassion and self love is my direction. I wish to help my clients on their paths towards self love. Your sessions brought me softness, warmth and hope. Thank you for your work. Hana
Thank you for your freely shared knowledge, practices, help and compassion.
It made me realise that my heart is weighed down deep inside with self blame over the breakup with my partner a year ago, even though in my mind I know I have done the best I could with my understanding and compassion at the time. This realisation is allowing me to be compassionate with myself, feeling the grief, at the same time holding the second arrow in the knowledge that not one heart can fix the challenges of a relationship in need of mutual adjustments.
Thank you for the free teachings , which really got my attention. I really want to start the restructuring of automatic thoughts like “its my fault”, or the “secret blame” I hold for some people in my life .
I found this very confronting. The story about grief at never having a parent that loved them was so difficult. On my second attempt my activity was probably too hard because I am trying to open my heart to myself. I’m caught in the trap. I’m grieving about having a family that could never love me. My greatest wish is to feel loved and accepted by others.
Very helpful practice – it can be hard to move away from the blame – it feels very strong sometimes. But when I do, I feel softer in myself and more compassion for the other person. I know I need to practice it more for it to become natural.
or is it that you don’t trust them to take care of your feelings that you remain distant?
Helped a lot. Thank you.
So helpful. Thank you.
I will try to practice Tara’s advice and use her tools by replaying this video until I feel confident I can do it on my own
Thank you Tara for once again helping me to get out of my head and into my heart. I love my heart so much, and it deserves to be loved with compassion and grace. It deserves to be open with loving kindness – its natural state, what it yearns for and what it yearns to be. If I let go of the fear and judgement and blame, I can exalt in my true nature. This is what I came here to do, to fulfill the dreams of my precious heart. Thanks for the tools!
Gracias! Por brindar espacios de sanacion y de amor! Son una señal de que la compasión y la ayuda a otros, forman parte del nuevo mundo, que se está creando ahora ♥️
I’m so grateful for Tara’s wise, accessible and pragmatic teachings. Truly liberating!
When I stopped and focused on this lesson, I was surprised to realize how the second arrow was really eating my self-esteem and had memories of how many opportunities I didn’t take advantage of out of fear of not being good enough. I now think the fear was not only of creating the negative feelings – like embarrassment, shame, etc.- but the harsh beating myself up for having those feelings that gives me a sense of not being good enough. Realizing this gave me a sense of empowerment because if I am doing this to myself, i have the power to stop it and don’t feel so dependent on what others think. I don’t have to beat myself up because of what someone else thinks.
If I let go of shame which is really what is running me, I believe I will be a more complete balanced and whole human being.
My problem is I am not sure how I can stop feeling the shame.
I truly love myself and self compassion doesn’t seem to be enough, yet.
Lovely way of looking at compassion I found it very helpful to see it from that lens. Awesome work . Thank u
I would be able to lean into life in a different way, with a stable and unwavering sense of self.
A person with less fear to hold me back from being the best person I can be.
Honestly, I would be a completely new person.
maybe its the full program that will answer the question, but while its great and understand how to refocus and see others ‘broken leg’, how do you deal with a situation where the ‘dog’ still hurting you today the same way as they did 50 years ago…its almost somebody keeps chucking mud at you or a stone and you do what???
I realize that i have been fairly generous with my forgiveness in the past. Not so generous to myself in acknowledging my needs and feelings. That seems to stand in the way of self compassion for me. I tried so hard to be “good”. I left my honest feelings out. Not that I want to start blaming now!
It made me feel soft and useful like a tool for healing
Thank you, Tara.
As always, your lectures are very enlightning.
Thank you Tara this is so helpful. I will use these practices to better understand and deal with my reactions to how a friend treats me
Thank you so much, Tara ! I felt so much pain inside me but at the same time so much love for myself – very nourishing <3
Great question! Thanks again for this excellent video.
Audrey H. I felt less tense in my body. Less guarded.
U turn is yet again, practical and revealing- and releasing. Thank you!!
Thank you for a powerful, yet gentle and kind reminder of how we can truly live and experience with openness all facets of life. Thank you. With gratitude and love, Judith
Going to use head, heart and heart space myself and with my clients. After teaching them about the 2 arrows.
Also going to use the U-turn.
Thank-you!
Thank you for this. Resentments hurt and I’m glad to know how to let them go.
I would be free to be fully alive!
This is going to take a lot of practice – a lot of days and moments practicing non-judgment and compassion.