I found the U turn practice very powerful. I was struck with how it allowed me to get in touch with raw emotional vulnerability in myself. It lead me quite naturally to a helpful emotional release. What a helpful tool! Thank you.
This was insightful and really resonated with me. So true how vulnerability is essential for change.
It was easy to feel the shift of blame when reflecting on a real life experience. The feelings
associated with our hurt and the hurt that others that inflict pain us feel also. Just remarkable.
Tara’s gentle way of expressing opens and calms my heart at a time when I am struggling with anguish and anger at those who have caused it. Your soothing words and thoughts will help to soften the heartache and hopefully lead to non blaming acceptance of what is.
Aldeena McAlister, Counseling, Fort Worth, TX, USAsays
This was so useful to me, so simple yet so complex! The idea of self compassion is foreign to most people. Prior to my Compassionate Inquiry course, it was foreign to me as well. The understanding of this concept has made an amazing impact on my life and the lives of those I work with. I loved both the arrow and trap analogies! The concepts are easy to relate to and the connections are powerful. Thank you for sharing these!
Thank you for this powerful practice, I noticed a shift in my emotion quite quickly and I was surprised how effective it was in a very short time. Thank you again Tara for sharing your wisdom and gifts. I am a physician and executive coach and I will be recommending this practice to my clients, patients and family members.
Absolutely beautiful guidance that is applicable to many situations. I’d love some additional discussion around this structure being inadvisable and potentially creating more harm. I’m a trauma therapist and know many of my clients could not and should not wander into these waters. Thanks!
I realize my mind is taken up with obsessive thoughts about people who have hurt me and are hurting me today. My life would be so different, I think I’d be free to do creative things if I could stop these thoughts. I like the leg in a trap visual, it helps.
Irene Mardal, Stress Management, West Cornwall , CT, USAsays
I teach mindfulness at a recovery center. The u turn and image of of dogs leg trapped to shift to compassion was simple and easily felt. It helped me with a childhood friend that is very confrontational, I could feel a shift from anger to compassion. Thank you.
Tara’s techniques and insights are always a gateway to heart opening for me. But mostly it is feeling her own light and compassion which is the biggest catalyst to my “unclenching” my spirit. Thank you.
ROBERT MEDZIE, Psychotherapy, Hilton Head Island, SC, USAsays
Smiling Down
establishing routines to practice daily
repeat simple steps with more awareness
resist urge to jump ahead in a giant leap to the “finish line”
realize the process of making “real”
In the video when you were sharing the story of the father in the hospital for the second time telling his son,” You never knew how much I loved you.” I had my hand on my heart experiencing so much grief I just sobbed. I hope to trust this process of healing.
Thank you
Helpful to see triggers as a way of pointing to old wounds that need some more healing
-rather than blame, seeing it as a portal to guide me towards healthier relationship choices.
-resentment seems to come before blame, so make sure that I don’t over give and self abandon in meeting others needs and then blame them when they still need more than I can give.
Tara I take you with me wherever I go. You and others and the Animal world give me hope for a kinder, more compassionate world. One filled with Love and Caring and Humour. One where we learn to be Grateful and in some cases, one where we focus less on ourselves.
David Edler, Another Field, Buffalo Grove, IL, USAsays
This session was very useful to me. I struggle with self-blame and regret and meditation has helped. Learning the “U-turn” put a fine point on a practice that I have been using through regular mediation, but the image of the dog caught in a trap will get me present more quickly.
I would be less anxious and worried all the time about what I say and do. Ultimately I would have less judgmental thoughts that make me constantly question the sustainability of my interpersonal relationships
Practicing the U turn…I’d become a less prickly, more compassionate person, with better relationships with my Self and others , hence, happier and more open and giving…a better version of me. Actually, a me I used to be better acquainted with when I was less into defensive, blaming mode.
This was very powerful and clearly something that is going to take time. I appreciate the recognition that for some it may be too soon and could be re-traumatizing.
Tara Brach has given me a different and a better way to handle my inner conflicts in relationships with other people. I need to have self compassion on my own behalf and to be able to appreciate that the next person may be suffering in a similar way! And that others
are dealing with their own wounds and trauma!
I’d be a better mother, parter and daughter, sister, friend! This is exactly what I’ve been saying to my son’s father and yet didn’t know and don’t fully know how to get from a to z. To compassion. I want to though and I and to teach him to, as we also have a moderately autistic five year old. Thank you Tara, it was beautiful and I cannot wait for the rest! God bless you, truly!!!
RJ hirsch, Marriage/Family Therapy, Hudson Valley, NY, USAsays
I cannot—- CANNOT imagine who I would be without blame.!
Absolutely do not know.
===============================
The visuals with this are BRILLIANT. Impeccable! very powerful. Particularly the slides of actual people. Other people may prefer the other illustrations. Please do let whoever did this work know it is appreciated! best,
May the coming year be filled with your hearts desire—– with moments of joy, delight, and peace.And vibrant good health.
And may goodness ripple out around the world.
Ruth
I listen to Tara’s teachings usually in the car but listening to these have challenged me to engage more than i might listening on my way to work. I think for me the first part of the U turn is really useful to help diffuse a situation – turning the mirror around and looking at what’s going on inside me. However, to continue with the “drop the story” theme, I would try to not build additional stories about why the other person is doing/saying what they are but instead try to see their vulnerability without adding any thing to it – i like to imagine that they were babies once too! Thanks for this series and deep bows to Tara’s ongoing, untiring commitment to sharing her wisdom.
I really try hard not to judge myself, to be patient and gentle and take good care of myself since many many years.
And I also try to have a deeper understanding for others, for all the ones with their leg in a trap.
But still I find myself weeping for not being understood or appreciated for what I do or judged for being selfish. It still hurts!
I am longing to let go of blaming other, to widen my heart, but this everlasting (?) pain sometimes makes it so difficult to not close my heart, to not withdraw.
I love the practice that Tara Brach is describing here and it is powerful to bring compassion to self and to the other person as part of healing….. however I agree, as others have alluded to in comments below…. there may need to be some action following this, e.g., setting of boundaries with someone who hurt you. But I think Tara goes on to speak about that, I think she addresses this in her RAIN practice.
Linda Romano, Another Field, Sunnyvale , CA, USAsays
As a three year old, I witnessed my mother dead on the floor (my father killed her). Using ideas in the video brought me to the pain of that time which I also experience w/ my husband when he accuses and blames. Judgement becomes difficult of my husband becomes difficult when he continues to accuse and blame, it continues to reignite the trauma of my childhood. Is it possible to get out of this cycle?
Great program! Was helpful to get a taste of this process. I especially feel that looking at why otheres act and think as they do, helps me to be br less judging and angry.
this is not new to me – I have been called a ‘namby pamby liberal’ by people who feel that seeing the wounds in others to try and understand their behaviours is a way of excusing them – and while I can find intellectual understanding on a personal level it doesn’t always change the feelings of hurt or injustice or resentment ! its a confusion.
this is such sound work on the inner critic, on. shame – I welcome more
After 70+ years of judgement and chronic blame, this feels like it’s going to be hard to make a shift, but I’m hopeful that it will. Thank you.
I found the U turn practice very powerful. I was struck with how it allowed me to get in touch with raw emotional vulnerability in myself. It lead me quite naturally to a helpful emotional release. What a helpful tool! Thank you.
I would be able to more freely give and receive the love and compassion I so desperately crave.
This was insightful and really resonated with me. So true how vulnerability is essential for change.
It was easy to feel the shift of blame when reflecting on a real life experience. The feelings
associated with our hurt and the hurt that others that inflict pain us feel also. Just remarkable.
I would be more peaceful and feel more self secure 🙏💓
I feel that with a sensible and measured concentration all things are possible if I calmly apply this advice.
I would be more connected to others and not putting up my shield as often as I do.
Tara’s gentle way of expressing opens and calms my heart at a time when I am struggling with anguish and anger at those who have caused it. Your soothing words and thoughts will help to soften the heartache and hopefully lead to non blaming acceptance of what is.
This was so useful to me, so simple yet so complex! The idea of self compassion is foreign to most people. Prior to my Compassionate Inquiry course, it was foreign to me as well. The understanding of this concept has made an amazing impact on my life and the lives of those I work with. I loved both the arrow and trap analogies! The concepts are easy to relate to and the connections are powerful. Thank you for sharing these!
Thank you for this powerful practice, I noticed a shift in my emotion quite quickly and I was surprised how effective it was in a very short time. Thank you again Tara for sharing your wisdom and gifts. I am a physician and executive coach and I will be recommending this practice to my clients, patients and family members.
Absolutely beautiful guidance that is applicable to many situations. I’d love some additional discussion around this structure being inadvisable and potentially creating more harm. I’m a trauma therapist and know many of my clients could not and should not wander into these waters. Thanks!
I realize my mind is taken up with obsessive thoughts about people who have hurt me and are hurting me today. My life would be so different, I think I’d be free to do creative things if I could stop these thoughts. I like the leg in a trap visual, it helps.
I would be so much happier in everything I do.
A happy, content and kind person.
I teach mindfulness at a recovery center. The u turn and image of of dogs leg trapped to shift to compassion was simple and easily felt. It helped me with a childhood friend that is very confrontational, I could feel a shift from anger to compassion. Thank you.
Tara’s techniques and insights are always a gateway to heart opening for me. But mostly it is feeling her own light and compassion which is the biggest catalyst to my “unclenching” my spirit. Thank you.
Smiling Down
establishing routines to practice daily
repeat simple steps with more awareness
resist urge to jump ahead in a giant leap to the “finish line”
realize the process of making “real”
In the video when you were sharing the story of the father in the hospital for the second time telling his son,” You never knew how much I loved you.” I had my hand on my heart experiencing so much grief I just sobbed. I hope to trust this process of healing.
Thank you
Helpful to see triggers as a way of pointing to old wounds that need some more healing
-rather than blame, seeing it as a portal to guide me towards healthier relationship choices.
-resentment seems to come before blame, so make sure that I don’t over give and self abandon in meeting others needs and then blame them when they still need more than I can give.
Thank you Tara,
This practice softened something in me.
Julia
Tara I take you with me wherever I go. You and others and the Animal world give me hope for a kinder, more compassionate world. One filled with Love and Caring and Humour. One where we learn to be Grateful and in some cases, one where we focus less on ourselves.
This session was very useful to me. I struggle with self-blame and regret and meditation has helped. Learning the “U-turn” put a fine point on a practice that I have been using through regular mediation, but the image of the dog caught in a trap will get me present more quickly.
Your techniques are so simple and difficult at the same time but so effective thank you
I would be less anxious and worried all the time about what I say and do. Ultimately I would have less judgmental thoughts that make me constantly question the sustainability of my interpersonal relationships
Practicing the U turn…I’d become a less prickly, more compassionate person, with better relationships with my Self and others , hence, happier and more open and giving…a better version of me. Actually, a me I used to be better acquainted with when I was less into defensive, blaming mode.
If I could let go of judgement and chronic blame I could feel free and at peace to enjoy my life full of happiness living in the present moment.
Thank you gentle and calming
If I was free of self judgement and self blame. I’d feel happier and.lighter and have more confidence.
This was very powerful and clearly something that is going to take time. I appreciate the recognition that for some it may be too soon and could be re-traumatizing.
I would be compassionate to myself and my daughters. I would be able to show them by my own growth that they too deserve love and compassion.
Tara Brach has given me a different and a better way to handle my inner conflicts in relationships with other people. I need to have self compassion on my own behalf and to be able to appreciate that the next person may be suffering in a similar way! And that others
are dealing with their own wounds and trauma!
I’d be a better mother, parter and daughter, sister, friend! This is exactly what I’ve been saying to my son’s father and yet didn’t know and don’t fully know how to get from a to z. To compassion. I want to though and I and to teach him to, as we also have a moderately autistic five year old. Thank you Tara, it was beautiful and I cannot wait for the rest! God bless you, truly!!!
A beautiful practice. Softened my heart and opened it up to new possibilities. Thank you so much. I will definitely come back to this practice.
It’s good to be reminded to be kind to myself – I would be happier and more accepting of how things are
I would be free of sorrow, regrets of the past, and self-blame. I would have a stronger sense of self with self-forgiveness and self-compassion.
I cannot—- CANNOT imagine who I would be without blame.!
Absolutely do not know.
===============================
The visuals with this are BRILLIANT. Impeccable! very powerful. Particularly the slides of actual people. Other people may prefer the other illustrations. Please do let whoever did this work know it is appreciated! best,
May the coming year be filled with your hearts desire—– with moments of joy, delight, and peace.And vibrant good health.
And may goodness ripple out around the world.
Ruth
I listen to Tara’s teachings usually in the car but listening to these have challenged me to engage more than i might listening on my way to work. I think for me the first part of the U turn is really useful to help diffuse a situation – turning the mirror around and looking at what’s going on inside me. However, to continue with the “drop the story” theme, I would try to not build additional stories about why the other person is doing/saying what they are but instead try to see their vulnerability without adding any thing to it – i like to imagine that they were babies once too! Thanks for this series and deep bows to Tara’s ongoing, untiring commitment to sharing her wisdom.
It is clear that without judging self or others there is a life where there is simplicity and happiness, peace and freedom! 🙏🏻
I really try hard not to judge myself, to be patient and gentle and take good care of myself since many many years.
And I also try to have a deeper understanding for others, for all the ones with their leg in a trap.
But still I find myself weeping for not being understood or appreciated for what I do or judged for being selfish. It still hurts!
I am longing to let go of blaming other, to widen my heart, but this everlasting (?) pain sometimes makes it so difficult to not close my heart, to not withdraw.
Helpful and gentle practice, my heart feels more open and soft.
As I free myself, I give others the space and opportunity to free themselves. This will be a great resource to come back to.
Free lovable courious
I love the practice that Tara Brach is describing here and it is powerful to bring compassion to self and to the other person as part of healing….. however I agree, as others have alluded to in comments below…. there may need to be some action following this, e.g., setting of boundaries with someone who hurt you. But I think Tara goes on to speak about that, I think she addresses this in her RAIN practice.
Thank you!
This helped me come to terms with a loss in my career and conflict with my chief and helped me accept and work towards retirement .
As a three year old, I witnessed my mother dead on the floor (my father killed her). Using ideas in the video brought me to the pain of that time which I also experience w/ my husband when he accuses and blames. Judgement becomes difficult of my husband becomes difficult when he continues to accuse and blame, it continues to reignite the trauma of my childhood. Is it possible to get out of this cycle?
Great program! Was helpful to get a taste of this process. I especially feel that looking at why otheres act and think as they do, helps me to be br less judging and angry.
This practice had a proud effect on me. I can see how I might focus on my own need for compassion rather than expecting an other to fill that need.
So powerful
Thank you
this is not new to me – I have been called a ‘namby pamby liberal’ by people who feel that seeing the wounds in others to try and understand their behaviours is a way of excusing them – and while I can find intellectual understanding on a personal level it doesn’t always change the feelings of hurt or injustice or resentment ! its a confusion.
this is such sound work on the inner critic, on. shame – I welcome more