As a child and later as an adult, I felt it was my job to look after my mother’s inappropriate touching as her way of expressing care and love. . I believed it was my job to keep her safe. This theme of caring for her needs over mine left me very alone and unable to share intimate feeling with others.
Tara’s description of the dog stuck in a trap resonated with my situation of seeking to keep my mother safe from inappropriate relationships with others. Where as I was unable to share honest, intimate relationship.
My father was cold due to his upbringing as a poor first generation Swede. He attached himself to my mother’s family who were settled into a prosperous life in a small town in Nebraska. For me there was plenty of hidden resentment as both parents were unable to express themselves, both were trapped. I thought it was my job to look after them both until the days when each would die.
My being trapped in a constant caring role left me depressed and unable to find the care I needed. I saw numerous therapists over the years. I became a counsellor but still couldn’t see the continuing role of caring for others as a repeated way of caring for self. I am a good therapist, thoughtful and reflective.
What Tara brought to my heart was a freedom to recognise the pain of generations of my families abilities and inabilities to ride the waves. And now at 72 years I am holding my child with care, knowing the comforts and challenges of the waves and the sea.
Thanking you Tara for your honesty and ongoing example of care for self and us all. Blessings Teresa
I experienced an “Ah ha” moment in respect of my longstanding “stand offs” with my partner. I am now excited to practice more so I can change the dynamic that hurts us both so much. Thank you.
I would gain much more freedom to love myself and others. I would be able to focus on what is really important and the only person I can really change, me.
Without blame and selfhate..I would be free..to feel…to be..to find out who I real am….and to dage to show it/ME to the world.
Thank you for the videoes….I have seen Them more times..would like to keep Them🥰
Tears flowed and my heart began to soften, along with self acceptance. It was very helpful and a good reminder to have compassion first for self then others.
Thank you Tara.
I would be more adventurous if I let go of disappointment and embrace forgiveness-for myself. I would feel lighter. I want this for my life. I want to express self compassion “Release the blame to heal our heart.”
listened 2 these on an hours- long evening walk (still on it) because i could not sit with myself another moment
Tears threatened in ep 1, heart hurt in ep2, as during Ep#3, but also, at the end of #3, I looked up on a very dark, somewhat shuttered ñeignourhood main St. to see a long-closed Cinema – the “Regent” –
painted a brilliant, happy *Cerulean blue on the portion of the bldg visible above construction cladding
(*detectable by nearby streetlight)
and read a letter-sign on the Marquee:
“Coming soon: NOT A CONDO”
THAT, combined with the other side’s ‘Home of new Community /Art’s Centre”, in a.place I had no
connection to,
somewhere momemts before i had felt a twinge of unease, and despite being of the single/of-precarioua-income & home-insecure demo…i smiled wider and felt more inexplicable joy than i could remember in a tragically long time.
I kept looking back for a glimpse as i turned the corner to get back home.
(I would have taken a photo but my cell is too old for an underlit night pic to come out.)
Something about NOT the wit, but the kindness of the sign maker acknowledging where most of us living in this increasingly brutal city are….with more unaffordable bldgs going up and prices too terrifyingly high for anyone forced to move from where they are…the sign writer got it. And used it to reassure, and make one smile.
i’m still thinking about it.
i’m not sure i would have even noticed if i had not spent 30 mns breaking open to the soft hurt under the armour i’ve worn too long just ro cope.
Ohhhhh… that broke lose something within. typing “me”. I yearn for that. for me. In ALL my entirety with no inhibitions to my authenticity. Thank you for asking.
I would be a lighter person and laugh more if I could let go of judgement and chronic blame. I think I could also show and express more affection and love directly.
A movement towards being in unity and healing of self, others, and Mother Earth
Thank you for your generosity and wisdom Tara.
What a beautiful spirit you are🙏
I would be the playful, wild, and carefree person I feel inside myself and so desperately want to spend time with but can never connect with. I would be the child I once was but had so little time with. I would connect with the joy that I can feel is there but is just out of reach.
Internally I have blamed my partner for trapping me at home. I acknowledged my own pain of feeling trapped. I need to connect with understanding his likely insecurities that lead to his need to keep me at home at the kitchen sink.
Paulina Andrade, Another Field, Berkeley, CA, USAsays
It was beautiful to understand that we hurt because we are hurt in my heart. I knew it as an idea but I haven’t felt it in my heart before as I did after watching these videos. I think this is exactly what I’ve been looking for. I have done many years of therapy but I’m still struggling with so much self-judgment. After these videos I understood that I can forgive myself from all the hurt I created and I can let go from the hurt that others have created towards myself. I feel much lighter and positive.
I would experience so much more freedom and ease in my inner experience. I would be able to access more creativity and be able to express myself through art in a way that is new to me. My inner critic always gets in the way when I attempt to enjoy making art or create music. I can see that without judgement of myself and family members we would be able to have more authentic connection.
I felt sad. but appreciated that I had worked with out about 30 years ago and I am free of it. But it is still sad to think about. I wish too I could talk to my mom and tell her all of this.
Although I don’t know how the other person’s leg is in a trap, I understand that it may be so. It was helpful to give myself compassion, and the music for this exercise was very beautiful.
Thank you, Tara. I was recommended you by a friend of mine. You are one of many speaking on a Norwegian mindfulness app. I listened to all from you. Again and again. I’m 70 yrs old and have been meditating in many ways. I was very connected to an Indian guru (dead before my time), but he rattled me, provoked me and gave me some silence for my monkey brain. You took me a long way further into “the darkness” – I have been crying my heart out and melting more and more and feeling trust in your words. My story is not interesting, but my way of handeling my issues such as not trusting, and really can’t recall any specific trauma – but has a feeling that there’s something lurking in my body. Not discovered yet. I choose to live alone. And all my therapy throughout some years I have gone for the ♥️. The hearth is not lying. I do listen to you at You Tube. So I pick one topic or another and meditate on that. I have a strong tendency to “take care of myself “. No one to one therapist, I guess there’s some trust issues. But when I melt, I melt. But always alone. Don’t want to bother anybody – and in this day and age life is full of misery. Because I need a wee bit control I enjoy the freedom doing this type of meditation/thereaphy through a app. But I know it would be better for me to show my vulnerability. I am learning, I am letting go, I am forgiving myself for not being God. Being able to solve the wars, Ukraine and Gaza. Stupid, right?
Well, thank you for everything so far. Mindfulness apps and you tube is always there.
Thank you, Tara, all the best from Sissel in Norway
How simple and effective way to turn to adulthood with taking responsiblity for our feeling instead of blaming. more love in this world that is in pain
Thank you for the geni invitation and guidance to be with my own feelings. I often find it easier to see that someone else is caught in a trap and have compassion for them. How much more could I offer if I returned myself the favor?
I’d be free to be myself all of the time not just some of the time. I wouldn’t care what others thought. I’d do what I wanted and felt was right for me and for humanity. I’d dream bigger and wiser. I’d be kinder and more motivated. I’d let go of the past and be ok with who I am and with who others are. I’d let go of blame and judgment and feel the peace that comes from loving myself and others and being content.
This was beautiful gentle practice
Thank you for sharing and so needed for many people who are suffering or struggling with deep seated pain from the past or present situation that they are currently stuck in. Fear blocks them from opening up and seeing a new path .
As a child and later as an adult, I felt it was my job to look after my mother’s inappropriate touching as her way of expressing care and love. . I believed it was my job to keep her safe. This theme of caring for her needs over mine left me very alone and unable to share intimate feeling with others.
Tara’s description of the dog stuck in a trap resonated with my situation of seeking to keep my mother safe from inappropriate relationships with others. Where as I was unable to share honest, intimate relationship.
My father was cold due to his upbringing as a poor first generation Swede. He attached himself to my mother’s family who were settled into a prosperous life in a small town in Nebraska. For me there was plenty of hidden resentment as both parents were unable to express themselves, both were trapped. I thought it was my job to look after them both until the days when each would die.
My being trapped in a constant caring role left me depressed and unable to find the care I needed. I saw numerous therapists over the years. I became a counsellor but still couldn’t see the continuing role of caring for others as a repeated way of caring for self. I am a good therapist, thoughtful and reflective.
What Tara brought to my heart was a freedom to recognise the pain of generations of my families abilities and inabilities to ride the waves. And now at 72 years I am holding my child with care, knowing the comforts and challenges of the waves and the sea.
Thanking you Tara for your honesty and ongoing example of care for self and us all. Blessings Teresa
I’m starting now to practise with milder reactions of blame and resentment, so I can work towards compassion for my ex partner
When I touch my vulnerability, I feel soften and release some pain. Thank you.
When the wounding is deep it’s a process over time. This video shows the doorway to begin this journey.
I experienced an “Ah ha” moment in respect of my longstanding “stand offs” with my partner. I am now excited to practice more so I can change the dynamic that hurts us both so much. Thank you.
I would be free to trust new people in my life and not project my old fears on them.
once the felt sense of comassion in there ,( for myself) it becomes possible to exrend it to the other
Thank you. From my experience I can listen and practice again and again and it’s often with a new perspective on small details.
I’d be strong and gentle.
Thank you, a good path, not simple or quick but healing !
Namaste 🙏
wow how insightful it is to stand back make room for shame and blame
myself and my clients
Reduce blame
I would gain much more freedom to love myself and others. I would be able to focus on what is really important and the only person I can really change, me.
Without blame and selfhate..I would be free..to feel…to be..to find out who I real am….and to dage to show it/ME to the world.
Thank you for the videoes….I have seen Them more times..would like to keep Them🥰
i like the u turn metaphor…walk in another’s shoes for a moment. that can only bring goodness and less fear/disgust.
Tears flowed and my heart began to soften, along with self acceptance. It was very helpful and a good reminder to have compassion first for self then others.
Thank you Tara.
I would be more adventurous if I let go of disappointment and embrace forgiveness-for myself. I would feel lighter. I want this for my life. I want to express self compassion “Release the blame to heal our heart.”
I would be free , at peace and my heart would be more open. I would be closer to people.
The music in the background is really quite awful, I’m sorry to say. I love what you all do, but this is just way too packaged!!
Many tears and a sense of softening, relief, grief and deep vulnerability, gratitude. Thank you, Tara.
I would be the person who is ready to step forward, aligning with my soul.
Very helpful steps to see the truth on both sides and nurture with compassion.
listened 2 these on an hours- long evening walk (still on it) because i could not sit with myself another moment
Tears threatened in ep 1, heart hurt in ep2, as during Ep#3, but also, at the end of #3, I looked up on a very dark, somewhat shuttered ñeignourhood main St. to see a long-closed Cinema – the “Regent” –
painted a brilliant, happy *Cerulean blue on the portion of the bldg visible above construction cladding
(*detectable by nearby streetlight)
and read a letter-sign on the Marquee:
“Coming soon: NOT A CONDO”
THAT, combined with the other side’s ‘Home of new Community /Art’s Centre”, in a.place I had no
connection to,
somewhere momemts before i had felt a twinge of unease, and despite being of the single/of-precarioua-income & home-insecure demo…i smiled wider and felt more inexplicable joy than i could remember in a tragically long time.
I kept looking back for a glimpse as i turned the corner to get back home.
(I would have taken a photo but my cell is too old for an underlit night pic to come out.)
Something about NOT the wit, but the kindness of the sign maker acknowledging where most of us living in this increasingly brutal city are….with more unaffordable bldgs going up and prices too terrifyingly high for anyone forced to move from where they are…the sign writer got it. And used it to reassure, and make one smile.
i’m still thinking about it.
i’m not sure i would have even noticed if i had not spent 30 mns breaking open to the soft hurt under the armour i’ve worn too long just ro cope.
I would take greater responsibility for myself and take positive, assertive and compassionate steps for change.
I’m not sure
I would be… “ME”.
Ohhhhh… that broke lose something within. typing “me”. I yearn for that. for me. In ALL my entirety with no inhibitions to my authenticity. Thank you for asking.
I would love truly whole heartedly
I would be a lighter person and laugh more if I could let go of judgement and chronic blame. I think I could also show and express more affection and love directly.
I would be the person I was meant to be.
A movement towards being in unity and healing of self, others, and Mother Earth
Thank you for your generosity and wisdom Tara.
What a beautiful spirit you are🙏
This is incredibly helpful. Self blame and shame are a huge part of my life right now and I look forward to using these tools.
I would be the playful, wild, and carefree person I feel inside myself and so desperately want to spend time with but can never connect with. I would be the child I once was but had so little time with. I would connect with the joy that I can feel is there but is just out of reach.
These sessions were helpful, and the exercises imbedded the U-turn into my heart. Looking forward to using them in life.
Internally I have blamed my partner for trapping me at home. I acknowledged my own pain of feeling trapped. I need to connect with understanding his likely insecurities that lead to his need to keep me at home at the kitchen sink.
It was beautiful to understand that we hurt because we are hurt in my heart. I knew it as an idea but I haven’t felt it in my heart before as I did after watching these videos. I think this is exactly what I’ve been looking for. I have done many years of therapy but I’m still struggling with so much self-judgment. After these videos I understood that I can forgive myself from all the hurt I created and I can let go from the hurt that others have created towards myself. I feel much lighter and positive.
I would experience so much more freedom and ease in my inner experience. I would be able to access more creativity and be able to express myself through art in a way that is new to me. My inner critic always gets in the way when I attempt to enjoy making art or create music. I can see that without judgement of myself and family members we would be able to have more authentic connection.
very nice. the question IS how Can WE know that it nécessairy for pour client to stay in blame.
I felt sad. but appreciated that I had worked with out about 30 years ago and I am free of it. But it is still sad to think about. I wish too I could talk to my mom and tell her all of this.
Although I don’t know how the other person’s leg is in a trap, I understand that it may be so. It was helpful to give myself compassion, and the music for this exercise was very beautiful.
Thank you, Tara. I was recommended you by a friend of mine. You are one of many speaking on a Norwegian mindfulness app. I listened to all from you. Again and again. I’m 70 yrs old and have been meditating in many ways. I was very connected to an Indian guru (dead before my time), but he rattled me, provoked me and gave me some silence for my monkey brain. You took me a long way further into “the darkness” – I have been crying my heart out and melting more and more and feeling trust in your words. My story is not interesting, but my way of handeling my issues such as not trusting, and really can’t recall any specific trauma – but has a feeling that there’s something lurking in my body. Not discovered yet. I choose to live alone. And all my therapy throughout some years I have gone for the ♥️. The hearth is not lying. I do listen to you at You Tube. So I pick one topic or another and meditate on that. I have a strong tendency to “take care of myself “. No one to one therapist, I guess there’s some trust issues. But when I melt, I melt. But always alone. Don’t want to bother anybody – and in this day and age life is full of misery. Because I need a wee bit control I enjoy the freedom doing this type of meditation/thereaphy through a app. But I know it would be better for me to show my vulnerability. I am learning, I am letting go, I am forgiving myself for not being God. Being able to solve the wars, Ukraine and Gaza. Stupid, right?
Well, thank you for everything so far. Mindfulness apps and you tube is always there.
Thank you, Tara, all the best from Sissel in Norway
I would be happier and more productive in my creative projects.
thank you so much. very useful perspective 💛
How simple and effective way to turn to adulthood with taking responsiblity for our feeling instead of blaming. more love in this world that is in pain
I would feel so much lighter! Free from the weight I carry with blame.
Thank you!
I could be calm, free of angst and better know my place in the world.
I would be a freer more loving easier in my skin elder and wife
Thank you for the geni invitation and guidance to be with my own feelings. I often find it easier to see that someone else is caught in a trap and have compassion for them. How much more could I offer if I returned myself the favor?
I’d be free to be myself all of the time not just some of the time. I wouldn’t care what others thought. I’d do what I wanted and felt was right for me and for humanity. I’d dream bigger and wiser. I’d be kinder and more motivated. I’d let go of the past and be ok with who I am and with who others are. I’d let go of blame and judgment and feel the peace that comes from loving myself and others and being content.
This was beautiful gentle practice
Thank you for sharing and so needed for many people who are suffering or struggling with deep seated pain from the past or present situation that they are currently stuck in. Fear blocks them from opening up and seeing a new path .