As much as I feel love for my family (of origin) and have early history of being close with my mother, several occurances in my teens left me with feelings of betrayal which I have been grappling with throughout my adult life. Having recently been engaging Tara’s U-Turn, I have been finding that with each re-turn it has been easier to both feel and ‘see’ the tangled skein of feelings (which also seem, in my mind’s eye, to be dancing with thoughts, compassion and understanding). And, with each re-turn, I experience a less frenetic, a more spacious and calm state, and am now able to ‘be’ present with all the feelings. In this state, as the density of complex feelings unpack and expand (without also expanding negativity), the judgements and thoughts seem to melt away, … ages of complex roiling clouds resolving to open shades of primrose yellow.
Thank-you for sharing more invaluable insight🙏🏼🌷
Thank you. Uturn practice very helpful and I hope to be able to use it as we tried it. If I could release blame for myself and others I would be freer and able to be closer to my true self. I look forward to receiving and trying the reinforcing free 3 step audio offered for answering these questions.
Thank you!
Thank you Tara,
I am slowly understanding that for me to flourish I need to hold the painful parts of me with loving care and kindness. I am grateful to you. You do amazing work. Thank you 🙏🥰🥰
I would be more open trusting and connected to others and free from fear and shame of criticism and rejection. I would be more confident with who I am falts and all
I am not sure who or what I can become if I let go of blame and judgement .
I do know I need to let go of blame and guilt of
putting emphasis on mistakes that I make and focusing on them , which often makes me feel disconnected with my true being and see my own light and not allowing enough compassion for me .
I want to, still there are sometimes situations, where beeing at ease without blame And judging is not possible. But probably the shift is than, to not stuck in this difficult emotion, but handle the Problems with more composure, to step beside
And than going beyond, without missing to set myself apart and dealing with the situation, wiser and conscious. The Consequence could be, feeling more free and at ease…thank you so much Tara for your precious Talk. Johanna
I found the exercise very helpful. It freed me and made me feel lighter.By focusing on the person and the situation in this way, it moved me on from the impact it was having on me.
It is the inner child that hurts when judgement and blame is dished out.
Maybe that’s the hardest, to get the inner child into trust, joy, and loving when the injuries happened early and there was no witness to mute the effects.
Because I’ve done a lot of therapy , I get what you’re saying and I know it’s true. It’s easy to connect to , all my feelings are ready . But what happens is I forget . The habit of resentment is far older and more entrenched , it’s far more convincing somehow , because it’s familiar. When I was a child resentment was all I had . My feelings were shut down .
Resentment is also strangely satisfying … and I’m not sure why , but I’ll think about that .
Anyway, Thankyou for reminding me to use all the knowledge I’ve accumulated over my adult years , and thereby to remember compassion .
Jennifer Morin, Exercise Physiology, Shrewsbury, MA, USAsays
I knew about this “u turn” and noticing another’s “leg in a trap” I have been following Tara for quite sometime, but it always amazes me how each time I listen I learn something new. Perhaps as I grow I “hear” what I am supposed to at that point. Any way, what I heard or noticed this time was that even though I try to see this other person’s vulnerability and it has open more empathy for him, I know I still slightly judge him, and that could be making him feel unsafe to really express himself. If I can show him more compassion he may then feel safe enough to open to change….. interesting, and thank you Tara.
Thank you again for this step. It was really useful to see my relationship with other people. I’ve tried the U-turn, and it felt really powerful.
Compassion is the way, otherwise well-being will never be achieved.
Blessings,
Sacha.
The u-turn strategy is a lovely simple tool. I will continue to use it as I navigate separation from my partner. I know it is the right thing for us but I easily fall into blaming him for not trying hard enough etc, though of course I see very well that his leg is in a trap and even though he looks more composed than me, he too is suffering.
Great talk. I’ve used RAIN for the last year or so and find it super helpful. I’ll be using the turnaround with a close business associate who I fall into default blame with. It’s a pattern with certain personality types, so this will be a great tool to help me address the root issue. Thank you Tara
i would be more relaxed and less controlling of people and events. that would mean freedom to breath and be and more quality to life.
thank you so much!
The metaphor of the trapped dog and the case illustration of Stephen really helpful for me when doing the U turn practice. Grateful to Tara’s wisdom and compassionate teaching.
I already use the metafor with a hurt dog with my clients, but the meditation with those two parts is really nicely formed and I sure will use it for me and my clients. Thank you very much!
The U-turn practice was powerful!! The image of having a leg caught in a trap and the reactivity that results, clarified much the effects of stress on behavior. Thank you for this enlightening workshop! I will employ the compassion practice myself and share it with others too!
Once again, I found more peace, self understanding, and most importantly, the beginning of a more compassionate relationship with myself, which I know will lead to a deeper understanding of others vulnerability. Thank you so much for this deep wisdom.
Right timing! Thank U!
It feels realy new to imagine this: me without the blaming. Like something is missing. But when I feel deeper….
I start to carry myself (instead of counting on other peoples’ help).
I would be a loving person, standing on her own feet.
I wish I could learn this one time and not slip back into judgment, however life is a journey! Thanks for speaking these truths and don’t get tired of reminding us.
Amy Moore, Social Work, Traverse City , MI, USAsays
What a perfect practice this morning— very powerfully it opened up mu heart to feel tenderness for my anxious self and for the part of me that gets so hurt (enraged) when I am not noticed or seen in a way that I want to be by people who matter to me.
always appreciate the work of Tara Brach, I share it with my clients and friends and every meditation takes me deeper into my own sense of connection and possibility for expanded compassion.
I was brought up in a family where it was normal to criticize and blame others. It is hard not to blame myself and others although I have been working on this for years now. I want to be more positive and I try to notice good things in life and being grateful. It can be relieving not to feel the urge to judge and blame oneself and others all the time. That is what I am seeking for. I know well that beyond blaming, judging there is always lack of self-confidence. I need to understand why I feel like blaming, criticizing myself then I can move on. Thank you.
Dear Tara,
I love and appreciate your lessons very much,
they help me a lot, to let go of self judment and support me
beiing kind and compassionate to myself.
I have to say, that the underlying music in the videos is distracting,
I would prefer your voice and teaching without music.
Thank you. From a place of deep wounding the process helped me to soften, without getting caught into the story, inviting me to have compassion for myself while simultaneously holding space for ‘the other’ and their own unique experiences and healing journey.
Thankyou for this, it is really helpful because I find this work difficult.
As much as I feel love for my family (of origin) and have early history of being close with my mother, several occurances in my teens left me with feelings of betrayal which I have been grappling with throughout my adult life. Having recently been engaging Tara’s U-Turn, I have been finding that with each re-turn it has been easier to both feel and ‘see’ the tangled skein of feelings (which also seem, in my mind’s eye, to be dancing with thoughts, compassion and understanding). And, with each re-turn, I experience a less frenetic, a more spacious and calm state, and am now able to ‘be’ present with all the feelings. In this state, as the density of complex feelings unpack and expand (without also expanding negativity), the judgements and thoughts seem to melt away, … ages of complex roiling clouds resolving to open shades of primrose yellow.
Thank-you for sharing more invaluable insight🙏🏼🌷
Thank you. Uturn practice very helpful and I hope to be able to use it as we tried it. If I could release blame for myself and others I would be freer and able to be closer to my true self. I look forward to receiving and trying the reinforcing free 3 step audio offered for answering these questions.
Thank you!
less anxious, less shameful, more grounded, more awake
Thank you Tara,
I am slowly understanding that for me to flourish I need to hold the painful parts of me with loving care and kindness. I am grateful to you. You do amazing work. Thank you 🙏🥰🥰
I would be more open trusting and connected to others and free from fear and shame of criticism and rejection. I would be more confident with who I am falts and all
being able to be my authentic self
Heartfelt gratitude Tara for the wisdom and compassion you share. Stay blessed!!🙏
More connected to my vital energy
I am not sure who or what I can become if I let go of blame and judgement .
I do know I need to let go of blame and guilt of
putting emphasis on mistakes that I make and focusing on them , which often makes me feel disconnected with my true being and see my own light and not allowing enough compassion for me .
Liberated!
More connected to my interior being
I would feel free and at ease.
I want to, still there are sometimes situations, where beeing at ease without blame And judging is not possible. But probably the shift is than, to not stuck in this difficult emotion, but handle the Problems with more composure, to step beside
And than going beyond, without missing to set myself apart and dealing with the situation, wiser and conscious. The Consequence could be, feeling more free and at ease…thank you so much Tara for your precious Talk. Johanna
I realized that the judgement and blame I have for others is really about fear of vulnerability with those same people. Wow, aha moment!
Love it ! I will be a better mom and wife if I can learn more about this!
Freedom!
Thank you for sharing this wisdom Tara. I absolutely love your teachings!
Thank you Tara, a fabulous, exercise, I will continue to use it..thank you 🤩
Relaxed, free from anxiety, limitless!
I would be love.
I found the exercise very helpful. It freed me and made me feel lighter.By focusing on the person and the situation in this way, it moved me on from the impact it was having on me.
It is the inner child that hurts when judgement and blame is dished out.
Maybe that’s the hardest, to get the inner child into trust, joy, and loving when the injuries happened early and there was no witness to mute the effects.
Because I’ve done a lot of therapy , I get what you’re saying and I know it’s true. It’s easy to connect to , all my feelings are ready . But what happens is I forget . The habit of resentment is far older and more entrenched , it’s far more convincing somehow , because it’s familiar. When I was a child resentment was all I had . My feelings were shut down .
Resentment is also strangely satisfying … and I’m not sure why , but I’ll think about that .
Anyway, Thankyou for reminding me to use all the knowledge I’ve accumulated over my adult years , and thereby to remember compassion .
I knew about this “u turn” and noticing another’s “leg in a trap” I have been following Tara for quite sometime, but it always amazes me how each time I listen I learn something new. Perhaps as I grow I “hear” what I am supposed to at that point. Any way, what I heard or noticed this time was that even though I try to see this other person’s vulnerability and it has open more empathy for him, I know I still slightly judge him, and that could be making him feel unsafe to really express himself. If I can show him more compassion he may then feel safe enough to open to change….. interesting, and thank you Tara.
Thanks, that was helpful.
The uturn exercise was effective in connecting to feeling compassion for self.
Thank you again for this step. It was really useful to see my relationship with other people. I’ve tried the U-turn, and it felt really powerful.
Compassion is the way, otherwise well-being will never be achieved.
Blessings,
Sacha.
This reminded me that others behavior toward us is usually not personal but about how they were wounded. Thank you.
The u-turn strategy is a lovely simple tool. I will continue to use it as I navigate separation from my partner. I know it is the right thing for us but I easily fall into blaming him for not trying hard enough etc, though of course I see very well that his leg is in a trap and even though he looks more composed than me, he too is suffering.
The metaphor of the trapped dog was very eye opening for me. I love your teachings Tara. Thank you.
Great talk. I’ve used RAIN for the last year or so and find it super helpful. I’ll be using the turnaround with a close business associate who I fall into default blame with. It’s a pattern with certain personality types, so this will be a great tool to help me address the root issue. Thank you Tara
i would be more relaxed and less controlling of people and events. that would mean freedom to breath and be and more quality to life.
thank you so much!
The metaphor of the trapped dog and the case illustration of Stephen really helpful for me when doing the U turn practice. Grateful to Tara’s wisdom and compassionate teaching.
I already use the metafor with a hurt dog with my clients, but the meditation with those two parts is really nicely formed and I sure will use it for me and my clients. Thank you very much!
This was very helpful!
The U-turn practice was powerful!! The image of having a leg caught in a trap and the reactivity that results, clarified much the effects of stress on behavior. Thank you for this enlightening workshop! I will employ the compassion practice myself and share it with others too!
This was powerful, Ahxéhee’ (Heartfelt Thanks).
Once again, I found more peace, self understanding, and most importantly, the beginning of a more compassionate relationship with myself, which I know will lead to a deeper understanding of others vulnerability. Thank you so much for this deep wisdom.
This is very helpful for myself and my patients. Thank you.
It felt brighter and bigger. I would be a freer person, less ruled by my reaction and more guided by my responses.
I found it to help calm my emotion and be open to the other person’s story
I would be a happier and more generous person. I would live in peace with myself and with my spouse.
Thank you so much for this amazing wisdom.
Right timing! Thank U!
It feels realy new to imagine this: me without the blaming. Like something is missing. But when I feel deeper….
I start to carry myself (instead of counting on other peoples’ help).
I would be a loving person, standing on her own feet.
I wish I could learn this one time and not slip back into judgment, however life is a journey! Thanks for speaking these truths and don’t get tired of reminding us.
What a perfect practice this morning— very powerfully it opened up mu heart to feel tenderness for my anxious self and for the part of me that gets so hurt (enraged) when I am not noticed or seen in a way that I want to be by people who matter to me.
always appreciate the work of Tara Brach, I share it with my clients and friends and every meditation takes me deeper into my own sense of connection and possibility for expanded compassion.
I was brought up in a family where it was normal to criticize and blame others. It is hard not to blame myself and others although I have been working on this for years now. I want to be more positive and I try to notice good things in life and being grateful. It can be relieving not to feel the urge to judge and blame oneself and others all the time. That is what I am seeking for. I know well that beyond blaming, judging there is always lack of self-confidence. I need to understand why I feel like blaming, criticizing myself then I can move on. Thank you.
Free from blaming equals freedom and peace. What would I look like ?
Dear Tara,
I love and appreciate your lessons very much,
they help me a lot, to let go of self judment and support me
beiing kind and compassionate to myself.
I have to say, that the underlying music in the videos is distracting,
I would prefer your voice and teaching without music.
Thanks and God bless you
Manfred
from Germany
Agreed. The music was so distracting from an otherwise very important lesson.
Thank you. From a place of deep wounding the process helped me to soften, without getting caught into the story, inviting me to have compassion for myself while simultaneously holding space for ‘the other’ and their own unique experiences and healing journey.