It seems more difficult to be compassionate to myself, and forgive myself and move on. I often get stuck in the self-blame. So I guess I would be able to move forward more easily in my life if I could forgive myself more readily.
Dear Tara and friendas, the information is wonderful in each pice of video but this one touches me deeply and I found the practice very useful. I’ll be using it a lot to cope with two difficult relationships wich torment me very much! So grateful for what you are doing because besides that, I’ll sure use some of your practices with my students in my coming Mindfulness clases in a spa! Thank you so much! Trully, Rose
Hi Tara. I first discovered you with your audiobook radical acceptance, and I have loved you ever since finding this series is overwhelming to say the least. I was doing chores and had it on in the background and my brain tuned in right when it needed to and I did the meditation on someone I resent and it was very powerful.
Sarah Edwards, Psychotherapy, PIne Moiuntain Club, CA, USAsays
If I let go of judgment about my mother, I might feel some warmth and love and closeness with her. I’ve tried to do this for decades, but never quite get there fully. I’ve come to understand more and can feel compassion for why she felt she had to try to raise me as she did. I’ve come to appreciate how some things she forced me to do have served me well over my lifetime. I think what I haven’t let go of is my hurt and anger about how the goals she had for who I should be instead of supporting me in becoming who I was/am caused me so much difficulty to overcome. I still often wonder who I would have become if I’d had the chance to explore who I was as a developing child. Since I like who I’ve worked years to become, I guess it’s OK. All’s well that ends well, as they say. Still it seems there is a need for me to have more self-compassion for what I’ve had to overcome. Thank you. Another wonderful video experience.
Thank you for your teachings Tara! It is so important to start cultivating love for ourselves, to have compassion for ourselves. I liked both practices, the practice of changing direction seems revealing and fantastic to me
Thanks Tara.
This is an incredible workshop. I know I have listened to this material before but today the depth of your teaching pierced me more deeply. I have always wondered how to move from shame and blame toward self and others but today I understood I did not understand enough about the nuances and of the second arrow. This teaching was very helpful.
Thank you,
Linda
I would be able to feel loved by my husband, and would be able to live my life with authenticity instead of feeling angry at the same time of advocating love and harmony.
I would be able to stop rushing and stressing and be able to be in the moment. It’s in the present that we can find beauty and peace. I would be a totally different person – all i do currently is self-blame.
I would be a person who laughs and smiles more and who’s able to share my inner happiness and compassion to others to create more connection, instead of sharing bitterness or anger that only creates distance.
Josh Fletcher, Another Field, Florence, IN, USAsays
Thank you so much. I have deep grief over my past blaming and criticizing. Your video helped me connect with my own leg in the trap for so many years. A work in progress and I will continue partaking in the the life giving water that you offer.
It was a surprise to consider telling myself I love me. I have recently stopped myself for the first time, from lashing out when my unworthiness was set off by my daughter, but I sat with the pain, which I blamed on myself. The idea of not judging myself for this has never occurred to me before. Thank you
The U-turn will hopefully firther help me to have more compassion towards my mother who i often see with pitty and anger but whom i know t9 be deeply hurt and scarred and stuck.
Thank you. The u-turn helped me to really be with my own feelings of hurt and shame, and be with them with kindness instead of with judgement that I shouldn’t be so sensitive.
Letting go of the story and blame I feel finally free and true to myself… blame keeps me in a trap with the excuse of “ justice” , being right and the other wrong. I am struggling to let go …
Kristen Dahlstrom, Other, Ellicott City, MD, USAsays
The u-turn was helpful in dissipating the anger towards the other person. I noticed that I came back to the same theme of what triggers me to typically beat myself up. In practicing self-compassion towards myself, at first I found myself looking for things to justify my hurt. But that seemed to keep the hurt alive. I had to shift my inner talk to simply saying “It’s okay to feel this way”.
Looking for vulnerability in the other person AFTER practicing self-compassion was easier. I did need to write it out though.
I appreciate the practice of U turn—shifting the focus to my inner world, rather than upon the other person. Being present with myself in the moment does help to listen and tend to what my heart and body is seeking.🙏🏽
Hi, I’ve been experiencing the feelings you mention in a sequence,, blaming someone, then myself ,I shouldn’t be feeling this, shame for feeling the way I do, and I was caught in a spiral of suffering towards someone I love. Blaming to change others ,first time I reason it this way, it made me understand my need to control an outcome.Being able to feel compassion for myself, the u turn, was so releasing, there was this feeling of guilt for not being fair. Being able to contemplate this feeling of insecurity from this perspective released me, respecting the hurt, not judgeing it ,helped me integrate it,opening some space around it, allow it to be what it is. Thank you!
I guess it would be to try and and see the situation through the eyes of others and what motivates their behaviour. Then I can have more compassion for them and understand my reaction.
Thanks for reminding me of the U-turn.Today again I was silently judging and blaming my husband for his decision to re-do roofs of two rooms .I need to open my heart and practice compassion for him.
Very powerful presentation
It inspired me to make a u turn in a 50 year old suffering!
Tk u very much
I look forward to getting the transcript Guspichard@gmail.com
It is so helpful to follow this practice. It seems so simple yet the impact and relief is huge. I hope I can revisit this practice. Though I know that sometimes in a trigger response, it might be difficult to think of before reacting. Thank you for this 💖
I found the video very illustrative and interesting. It made me reflect upon my own family, where my mother is the person who always blame and judge other people. She is incapable to make a u-turn because she stands in her own way of doing that. But I believe that the method suggested is powerful and supports a shifting of perspectives and offers ways to heal yourself by looking into to what sensations comes up inside you, to allow them to be there and accept them as the are. The second method offering a way to try to see the other persons limitations or vulnerabilities is also powerful and helpful. It’s provides a constructive way to move beyond getting stuck in being a victim. It helps you see others peoples vulnerability and perhaps also their lack of insight to their own harming behaviors. This can lead to situation where you get closer to being ready of offer forgiveness and access personal freedom.
It is not clear how to do the turnaround. I am separated from my spouse following an affair in his workplace. But feeling my own hurt and blaming him and I also find with time, the issue dissolving and not being so destructive as when ee actually separated. But does this mean I can let him come back and live as a couple once again? Enbe (nbheenick@gmail.com)
I have struggling for a very long time with a friend or more truthfully someone who i considered to be a good friend.
Over time our spiritual and religious paths have become diametrically opposed.
His views on religion and politics are so blatantly different from mine that it angers me and gets my knickers in a snit!
The part that i dislike the most is his constant badgering,his judgements,arguments about how he is right and everyone else is wrong.He has a particular disdain for me because i challenge him.
It has come to the point that i need to let go of him as a friend.
Yes i have thought many times and had sleepless nights about “what is the opportunity here and what is the universe trying to teach me.I know the answer but the issue is that he is obnoxious and i while i understand that his ego has been highjacked,i dont need to engage in the drama and the arguments anymore.It would be great if i can get some help with this.
Ie What should i do?
release him as a friend because he is no longer serving the higher agenda of my soul?
Stop judging him,soften my heart ,have self compassion for myself and for him?
Thank you
Thank you.
I would be a much calmer and more accepting person,letting others be in their own way and appreciating myself and them much more.I would be able to connect better to my parents who are not alive but to their spirit and to my own internal ghosts that sometimes torment me with criticism and uncertainty.my compassion for myself and others would cover me like a mantle
When I looked deeply into my feelings of emotions towards my father, I realize that I was feeling shame and hurt for the way he treated me when I was younger. Then I did your U-turn method, and just brought attention to those feelings of shame and hurt, and brought a feeling of loving kindness to myself, I realize that my father has a young boy must have been very scared when his parents died and he was left all alone to take care of his younger brothers and sisters. A great sadness came over me for my father.
Thank you for your life changing work, Tara. I’d been nursing the hurt of a friend losing her temper and venting at me and I’d been unable to respond to her messages for three days. Now I can respond from an open hearted place again, with space for both our vulnerabilities.
Your generosity, wisdom and humour are a gift to me.
(By the way there’s no field in the above list for atist/activist like me but many of us love you)
I could see my mother’s pain as she stayed trapped. It brought tears into my eyes. I feel tender and soft now and I really like this part of me. I was getting tired of hating her so much, over so many years. It was draining me. I feel lighter now. I feel I am myself. I love this shift of energy in me. Thank you, Tara for this U-turn and helping me move from darkness to light.
It seems more difficult to be compassionate to myself, and forgive myself and move on. I often get stuck in the self-blame. So I guess I would be able to move forward more easily in my life if I could forgive myself more readily.
I find my self to be a new me
Dear Tara and friendas, the information is wonderful in each pice of video but this one touches me deeply and I found the practice very useful. I’ll be using it a lot to cope with two difficult relationships wich torment me very much! So grateful for what you are doing because besides that, I’ll sure use some of your practices with my students in my coming Mindfulness clases in a spa! Thank you so much! Trully, Rose
Hi Tara. I first discovered you with your audiobook radical acceptance, and I have loved you ever since finding this series is overwhelming to say the least. I was doing chores and had it on in the background and my brain tuned in right when it needed to and I did the meditation on someone I resent and it was very powerful.
If I let go of judgment about my mother, I might feel some warmth and love and closeness with her. I’ve tried to do this for decades, but never quite get there fully. I’ve come to understand more and can feel compassion for why she felt she had to try to raise me as she did. I’ve come to appreciate how some things she forced me to do have served me well over my lifetime. I think what I haven’t let go of is my hurt and anger about how the goals she had for who I should be instead of supporting me in becoming who I was/am caused me so much difficulty to overcome. I still often wonder who I would have become if I’d had the chance to explore who I was as a developing child. Since I like who I’ve worked years to become, I guess it’s OK. All’s well that ends well, as they say. Still it seems there is a need for me to have more self-compassion for what I’ve had to overcome. Thank you. Another wonderful video experience.
Thank you for your teachings Tara! It is so important to start cultivating love for ourselves, to have compassion for ourselves. I liked both practices, the practice of changing direction seems revealing and fantastic to me
I am curious what you think of legitimate anger.
If I could let go of vlame, I would be a more welcoming father.
Thanks Tara.
This is an incredible workshop. I know I have listened to this material before but today the depth of your teaching pierced me more deeply. I have always wondered how to move from shame and blame toward self and others but today I understood I did not understand enough about the nuances and of the second arrow. This teaching was very helpful.
Thank you,
Linda
“It really is ok to feel this way.” It is amazing how freeing that is, in itself. I am happy to have experimented in this way. Thank you.
I would be able to feel loved by my husband, and would be able to live my life with authenticity instead of feeling angry at the same time of advocating love and harmony.
I would be free to live in the present and open to enriching loving connections and
possibilities in life.
I would be the most remarkable person to myself filled with overflowing love for myself and everyone else.
I would be able to stop rushing and stressing and be able to be in the moment. It’s in the present that we can find beauty and peace. I would be a totally different person – all i do currently is self-blame.
Hard to touch some inner points but surely liberating. Thank you 🙏🏽
A wonderer. Effortless and free
I would be a person who laughs and smiles more and who’s able to share my inner happiness and compassion to others to create more connection, instead of sharing bitterness or anger that only creates distance.
Thank you so much. I have deep grief over my past blaming and criticizing. Your video helped me connect with my own leg in the trap for so many years. A work in progress and I will continue partaking in the the life giving water that you offer.
I’ll be a lighter, more loving person.
Experiencing the self compassion during the exercise made me feel a glimpse of the freedom of just being me. Thank you
It was a surprise to consider telling myself I love me. I have recently stopped myself for the first time, from lashing out when my unworthiness was set off by my daughter, but I sat with the pain, which I blamed on myself. The idea of not judging myself for this has never occurred to me before. Thank you
The U-turn will hopefully firther help me to have more compassion towards my mother who i often see with pitty and anger but whom i know t9 be deeply hurt and scarred and stuck.
Thank you. The u-turn helped me to really be with my own feelings of hurt and shame, and be with them with kindness instead of with judgement that I shouldn’t be so sensitive.
I feel like I’m working towards this. But it is challenging. I’d think I’d be able to be more authentic and able to relax and find joy.
Letting go of the story and blame I feel finally free and true to myself… blame keeps me in a trap with the excuse of “ justice” , being right and the other wrong. I am struggling to let go …
Thank you!
The u-turn was helpful in dissipating the anger towards the other person. I noticed that I came back to the same theme of what triggers me to typically beat myself up. In practicing self-compassion towards myself, at first I found myself looking for things to justify my hurt. But that seemed to keep the hurt alive. I had to shift my inner talk to simply saying “It’s okay to feel this way”.
Looking for vulnerability in the other person AFTER practicing self-compassion was easier. I did need to write it out though.
I appreciate the practice of U turn—shifting the focus to my inner world, rather than upon the other person. Being present with myself in the moment does help to listen and tend to what my heart and body is seeking.🙏🏽
Hi, I’ve been experiencing the feelings you mention in a sequence,, blaming someone, then myself ,I shouldn’t be feeling this, shame for feeling the way I do, and I was caught in a spiral of suffering towards someone I love. Blaming to change others ,first time I reason it this way, it made me understand my need to control an outcome.Being able to feel compassion for myself, the u turn, was so releasing, there was this feeling of guilt for not being fair. Being able to contemplate this feeling of insecurity from this perspective released me, respecting the hurt, not judgeing it ,helped me integrate it,opening some space around it, allow it to be what it is. Thank you!
Love the upturn. Thank you so much.
I felt a sense of relief and peace, if only for a short while.
I guess it would be to try and and see the situation through the eyes of others and what motivates their behaviour. Then I can have more compassion for them and understand my reaction.
Thanks. very helpful.
Thank you Tara. Your story of the dog with his leg caught in a trap helped me to rethink & open my heart.
I can see how this will be helpful to me. Thank you.
Tara, I love your words but please give us an option to disable the music. It’s very distracting. Thanks.
Thanks for reminding me of the U-turn.Today again I was silently judging and blaming my husband for his decision to re-do roofs of two rooms .I need to open my heart and practice compassion for him.
Thank you. This is helpful for my self-compassion journey
Very powerful presentation
It inspired me to make a u turn in a 50 year old suffering!
Tk u very much
I look forward to getting the transcript
Guspichard@gmail.com
I wouldn’t feel like a victim and I wouldn’t find myself regressing inside as much
It would be so much lighter to go through life if I could live like this!
I would be less reactive and in the victim role. It would help me be open to letting more love in and out.
It is so helpful to follow this practice. It seems so simple yet the impact and relief is huge. I hope I can revisit this practice. Though I know that sometimes in a trigger response, it might be difficult to think of before reacting. Thank you for this 💖
I found the video very illustrative and interesting. It made me reflect upon my own family, where my mother is the person who always blame and judge other people. She is incapable to make a u-turn because she stands in her own way of doing that. But I believe that the method suggested is powerful and supports a shifting of perspectives and offers ways to heal yourself by looking into to what sensations comes up inside you, to allow them to be there and accept them as the are. The second method offering a way to try to see the other persons limitations or vulnerabilities is also powerful and helpful. It’s provides a constructive way to move beyond getting stuck in being a victim. It helps you see others peoples vulnerability and perhaps also their lack of insight to their own harming behaviors. This can lead to situation where you get closer to being ready of offer forgiveness and access personal freedom.
It is not clear how to do the turnaround. I am separated from my spouse following an affair in his workplace. But feeling my own hurt and blaming him and I also find with time, the issue dissolving and not being so destructive as when ee actually separated. But does this mean I can let him come back and live as a couple once again? Enbe (nbheenick@gmail.com)
I have struggling for a very long time with a friend or more truthfully someone who i considered to be a good friend.
Over time our spiritual and religious paths have become diametrically opposed.
His views on religion and politics are so blatantly different from mine that it angers me and gets my knickers in a snit!
The part that i dislike the most is his constant badgering,his judgements,arguments about how he is right and everyone else is wrong.He has a particular disdain for me because i challenge him.
It has come to the point that i need to let go of him as a friend.
Yes i have thought many times and had sleepless nights about “what is the opportunity here and what is the universe trying to teach me.I know the answer but the issue is that he is obnoxious and i while i understand that his ego has been highjacked,i dont need to engage in the drama and the arguments anymore.It would be great if i can get some help with this.
Ie What should i do?
release him as a friend because he is no longer serving the higher agenda of my soul?
Stop judging him,soften my heart ,have self compassion for myself and for him?
Thank you
Thank you.
I would be a much calmer and more accepting person,letting others be in their own way and appreciating myself and them much more.I would be able to connect better to my parents who are not alive but to their spirit and to my own internal ghosts that sometimes torment me with criticism and uncertainty.my compassion for myself and others would cover me like a mantle
When I looked deeply into my feelings of emotions towards my father, I realize that I was feeling shame and hurt for the way he treated me when I was younger. Then I did your U-turn method, and just brought attention to those feelings of shame and hurt, and brought a feeling of loving kindness to myself, I realize that my father has a young boy must have been very scared when his parents died and he was left all alone to take care of his younger brothers and sisters. A great sadness came over me for my father.
Thank you for your life changing work, Tara. I’d been nursing the hurt of a friend losing her temper and venting at me and I’d been unable to respond to her messages for three days. Now I can respond from an open hearted place again, with space for both our vulnerabilities.
Your generosity, wisdom and humour are a gift to me.
(By the way there’s no field in the above list for atist/activist like me but many of us love you)
I could see my mother’s pain as she stayed trapped. It brought tears into my eyes. I feel tender and soft now and I really like this part of me. I was getting tired of hating her so much, over so many years. It was draining me. I feel lighter now. I feel I am myself. I love this shift of energy in me. Thank you, Tara for this U-turn and helping me move from darkness to light.