Working With Your Client’s Traumatic Memories
with Bessel van der Kolk, MD
and Ruth Buczynski, PhD
Sometimes we remember what seem like the smallest, most insignificant details of our lives – an 8th grade locker combination, a story heard at a party years ago, or all the lines from a favorite movie.
These memories – full of facts, words, and events – are explicit memories.
But there are different kinds of memories – ones that are evoked by sights, sounds, or even smells.
For example, the smell of coffee percolating atop a gas stove could bring back Sunday afternoons around the table with beloved grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
On the other hand, being surprised by the scent of a particular aftershave, for instance, could elicit feelings of fear, panic, or even terror.
A person who was traumatized as a child might re-experience the all-too-familiar sensations of quivering in fear or breaking out in a cold sweat.
And it may have very little to do with the verbal thought process of, “Oh, this reminds me of the incident of my father hitting me.”
Traumatic memory is formed and stored very differently than everyday memory.
So let’s take a closer look at what happens when a person experiences trauma.
What Happens When the Brain Can’t Process Trauma
Dr. Van der Kolk: If a person was abused as a child, the brain can become wired to believe, “I’m a person to whom terrible things happen, and I better be on the alert for who’s going to hurt me now.”
Those are conscious thoughts that become stored in a very elementary part of the brain.
But what happens to adults when they become traumatized by something terrible they’ve experienced?
Simply put, the brain becomes overwhelmed. That’s because the thalamus shuts down and the entire picture of what happened can’t be stored in their brain.
So instead of forming specific memories of the full event, people who have been traumatized remember images, sights, sounds, and physical sensations without much context.
And certain sensations just become triggers of the past.
You see, the brain continually forms maps of the world – maps of what is safe and what is dangerous.
That’s how the brain becomes wired. People carry an internal map of who they are in relationship to the world. That becomes their memory system, but it’s not a known memory system like that of verbal memories.
It’s an implicit memory system.
What that means is that a particular traumatic incident may not be remembered as a story of something that’s happened a long time ago. Instead, it gets triggered by sensations that people are experiencing in the present that can activate their emotional states.
It’s a much more elementary, organic level of a single sensation triggering the state of fear.
A person might keep thinking about the sensation and say, “Oh, this must be because it reminds me of the time that my father hit me.”
But that’s not the connection that the mind makes at that particular time.
How the Lack of Context Impacts Treatment
So what difference will it make in our work, knowing that a traumatic memory was encoded without context?
It’s important to recognize that PTSD, or the experience of trauma is not about the past. It’s about a body that continues to behave and organize itself as if the experience is happening right now.
When we’re working with people who have been traumatized, it’s crucial to help them learn how to field the present as it is and to tolerate whatever goes on. The past is only relevant in as far as it stirs up current sensations, feelings, emotions and thoughts.
The story about the past is just a story that people tell to explain how bad the trauma was, or why they have certain behaviors.
But the real issue is that trauma changes people. They feel different and experience certain sensations differently.
That’s why the main focus of therapy needs to be helping people shift their internal experience or, in other words, how the trauma is lodged inside them.
How Talking Can Distract a Client from Feeling
Now, in helping people learn to stay with their sensations, we need to resist the temptation to ask them to talk about their experience and what they’re aware of.
This is because talking can convey a defense against feeling.
Through the use of brain imagery, we’ve learned that when people are feeling something very deeply, one particular area of the brain lights up.
And we’ve seen other images taken when people are beginning to talk about their trauma and, when they do, another part of the brain lights up.
So talking can be a distraction from helping patients notice what is going on within themselves.
And that’s why some of the best therapy is very largely non-verbal, where the main task of the therapist is to help people to feel what they feel - to notice what they notice, to see how things flow within themselves, and to reestablish their sense of time inside.
Why Restoring the Sense of Time Can Make Emotions More Bearable
All too often, when people feel traumatized, their bodies can feel like they’re under threat even if it’s a beautiful day and they’re in no particular danger.
So our task becomes helping people to feel those feelings of threat, and to just notice how the feelings go away as time goes on.
The body never stays the same because the body is always in a state of flux.
It’s important to help a patient learn that, when a sensation comes up, it’s okay to have it because something else will come next.
This is one way we can help patients re-establish this sense of time which gets destroyed by the trauma.
Sensations and emotions become intolerable for clients because they think, “This will never come to an end.”
But once a patient knows that something will come to an end, their whole attitude changes.
Now we'd like to hear from you. How will you use these ideas on traumatic memory in your work with your patients?
Please leave a comment below.
Vienna Cassidy, Counseling, NZ says
It is great to have it explained in away that makes sense and connects dots. I’m aware of how the body holds memories. But was not entirely making connections all that goes with it. I’m aware that different parts of our bodies will hold for different reasons
Bam Miller, Teacher, Cullman, AL, USA says
This really helped me. And I worked with just such mentally challenged people in my career. I learned something about it today. Here. I understand my own stuff a bit better and hoping those that love me will as well.
Catherine Dalton, Nursing, GB says
My husband has been diagnosed with dementia. I have never accepted thus diagnosis and believe he is still suffering from PTSD after he was retrenched. Could I be on the right track to finding a way of helping him get back some of what he has lost?
Janet Sobocan, Teacher, CA says
When I have feelings come up about my trauma, I will Try to notice the trigger and tell myself the next moment will change. I think Hope for better moments will really help. Jan
Frances Holling, Coach, GB says
Really useful – on a personal and professional level. I have used some guided meditation bringing awareness to feelings and noticing that it is not constant ,,,focusing on impermanance…so I will also use the idea of things coming to an end…very useful – thankyou.
Nic Lawson, Counseling, NZ says
A very relevant and important article. As a Narrative Counellor I eventually had to stand back after 10 years practicing as while the support and validation was helpful to many of my clients I found my own trauma and PTSD hadn’t shifted and instead eventually became more intense as I was exposed to the trauma of others and reached burn out! I gave up my practice, ethically knowing I couldn’t be effective anymore. I found the truth of healing in the way you’ve mentioned with Systemic Family Constellation work and trained in this field. Still not ready to practice as I’m still experiencing the intergenerational trauma. Once again I’m allowing time and honouring my healing. I’m not sure if I’ll return to a healing practice, sometimes I acknowledge that it’s ok to just assist my own healing and enjoy the beautiful family and home I now have. I’m 50 now and deserve my peace. Thank you for your article, it was beautifully written.
Trish Williams, Other, GB says
Strategies to help would be great with this article. I am a Foster carer with a 13 yo who stays ‘stuck’ I see the impact of developmental trauma. I have adapted to a re-parenting style using PACE (Dan Hughes) My learning has put me into a better place and we together have a great attachment (She is very dependant on me to do her thinking for her when overwhelmed…work in progress) Beyond me…she trusts NOBODY! I get it. How can I help her when she is so ‘safe’ in her thinking that she cannot move forward. It impacts every aspect of her life. she ‘doesn’t care’ about anything/ anyone…including herself.
Pete Maguire, Nursing, GB says
Have you tried to get her writing a journal, initially she may experience a rush of feelings, very possibly self loathing, but if you listen and hear her, then gently encourage her to move from writing about herself to writing about objects or others, she may start to gain perspective and distance from her pain. Good luck! It is very hard to hold young people’s suffering.
Virginia Sheridan, Nursing, Danielson Ct , CT, USA says
I gave up my 40 year nursing career to be caregiver to my daughter. Spent 30 years in Critical care.
I was told my daughter may not return to her normal self after surgery did not go well. Massive stroke during colloidal cyst occluding 3rd ventricle of brain. 3 years later returning to school and learning to deal with short term memory. So proud of her.
Jasmine Huggen, Physical Therapy, AU says
I am one of those people suffering from traumatic memory. I believe what I read in this article is wonderful and can work.
However for myself, when the traumatic memory comes, it is so strong, and it doesn’t allow me to focus on the present. It almost distract my concentration on any task that I must do and takes my concentration away with lots of energy.
I wish I could receive more of this kind of articles. I am trying to work on this issue and any help and suggestions will be highly anticipated.
Thanks.
Regards
Jasmine
Lynne Hughes, Coach, GB says
I believe you can change the power of thought process by simply day dreaming, day dreaming is a state of subconscious where your mind wants to relax in where it wants to go, let it go to where it wants, it will automatically look for low vibration, a state of calm.
Sharon Jones, Counseling, GB says
This has highlighted the meaning of’its ok to not be ok’ for me.
Accepting bad feelings and thoughts and having faith that they will pass…
Thankyou for sharing
Ann Brittain, Other, GB says
Thanx loved ya book….
I understand triggers n traumas better now.
I do 12 steps and recovering from drink n drugs.
I still chain smoke n drink loadsa coffee. I have an oral fixation in that I can control what I put in my mouth today….
I didn’t have that choice as a kid…..
Ideas?
Thanx
Mary Smith, Another Field, Los Angeles, CA, USA says
I disagree……Trauma needs to be validated for healing to begin. a person needs to have the opportunity to hear “yes you DID have something very bad happen to you . Yes you WERE a victim very unfairly. Yes your feelings ARE very valid. Yes you ARE a person who deserved and deserves much better than what happened. Yes your anger IS VERY reasonable toward the person who hurt you. Yes you are worthy of love and being respected”. Having someone stuff it all down and focus only on the present will NEVER help. A person MUST be allowed to get it out and know they did not deserve what happened for healing to begin.
Michelle Q, Counseling, GB says
Thank you. This feels like good solid, practise.
Helen Perr, Another Field, GB says
I NEED therapy, wasn’t ready when offered at rehab. I ran from it and now I’m ready to confront my trauma, I can’t find the help that I so badly need!!!
Msrgaret Tennent, Nursing, GB says
I found this very interesting to read especially the way it explains the PTSD and the way it effects the process has on the person to feel they are under threat and the way therapy can help and overcome this trauma.