Working With Your Client’s Traumatic Memories
with Bessel van der Kolk, MD
and Ruth Buczynski, PhD
Sometimes we remember what seem like the smallest, most insignificant details of our lives – an 8th grade locker combination, a story heard at a party years ago, or all the lines from a favorite movie.
These memories – full of facts, words, and events – are explicit memories.
But there are different kinds of memories – ones that are evoked by sights, sounds, or even smells.
For example, the smell of coffee percolating atop a gas stove could bring back Sunday afternoons around the table with beloved grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
On the other hand, being surprised by the scent of a particular aftershave, for instance, could elicit feelings of fear, panic, or even terror.
A person who was traumatized as a child might re-experience the all-too-familiar sensations of quivering in fear or breaking out in a cold sweat.
And it may have very little to do with the verbal thought process of, “Oh, this reminds me of the incident of my father hitting me.”
Traumatic memory is formed and stored very differently than everyday memory.
So let’s take a closer look at what happens when a person experiences trauma.
What Happens When the Brain Can’t Process Trauma
Dr. Van der Kolk: If a person was abused as a child, the brain can become wired to believe, “I’m a person to whom terrible things happen, and I better be on the alert for who’s going to hurt me now.”
Those are conscious thoughts that become stored in a very elementary part of the brain.
But what happens to adults when they become traumatized by something terrible they’ve experienced?
Simply put, the brain becomes overwhelmed. That’s because the thalamus shuts down and the entire picture of what happened can’t be stored in their brain.
So instead of forming specific memories of the full event, people who have been traumatized remember images, sights, sounds, and physical sensations without much context.
And certain sensations just become triggers of the past.
You see, the brain continually forms maps of the world – maps of what is safe and what is dangerous.
That’s how the brain becomes wired. People carry an internal map of who they are in relationship to the world. That becomes their memory system, but it’s not a known memory system like that of verbal memories.
It’s an implicit memory system.
What that means is that a particular traumatic incident may not be remembered as a story of something that’s happened a long time ago. Instead, it gets triggered by sensations that people are experiencing in the present that can activate their emotional states.
It’s a much more elementary, organic level of a single sensation triggering the state of fear.
A person might keep thinking about the sensation and say, “Oh, this must be because it reminds me of the time that my father hit me.”
But that’s not the connection that the mind makes at that particular time.
How the Lack of Context Impacts Treatment
So what difference will it make in our work, knowing that a traumatic memory was encoded without context?
It’s important to recognize that PTSD, or the experience of trauma is not about the past. It’s about a body that continues to behave and organize itself as if the experience is happening right now.
When we’re working with people who have been traumatized, it’s crucial to help them learn how to field the present as it is and to tolerate whatever goes on. The past is only relevant in as far as it stirs up current sensations, feelings, emotions and thoughts.
The story about the past is just a story that people tell to explain how bad the trauma was, or why they have certain behaviors.
But the real issue is that trauma changes people. They feel different and experience certain sensations differently.
That’s why the main focus of therapy needs to be helping people shift their internal experience or, in other words, how the trauma is lodged inside them.
How Talking Can Distract a Client from Feeling
Now, in helping people learn to stay with their sensations, we need to resist the temptation to ask them to talk about their experience and what they’re aware of.
This is because talking can convey a defense against feeling.
Through the use of brain imagery, we’ve learned that when people are feeling something very deeply, one particular area of the brain lights up.
And we’ve seen other images taken when people are beginning to talk about their trauma and, when they do, another part of the brain lights up.
So talking can be a distraction from helping patients notice what is going on within themselves.
And that’s why some of the best therapy is very largely non-verbal, where the main task of the therapist is to help people to feel what they feel - to notice what they notice, to see how things flow within themselves, and to reestablish their sense of time inside.
Why Restoring the Sense of Time Can Make Emotions More Bearable
All too often, when people feel traumatized, their bodies can feel like they’re under threat even if it’s a beautiful day and they’re in no particular danger.
So our task becomes helping people to feel those feelings of threat, and to just notice how the feelings go away as time goes on.
The body never stays the same because the body is always in a state of flux.
It’s important to help a patient learn that, when a sensation comes up, it’s okay to have it because something else will come next.
This is one way we can help patients re-establish this sense of time which gets destroyed by the trauma.
Sensations and emotions become intolerable for clients because they think, “This will never come to an end.”
But once a patient knows that something will come to an end, their whole attitude changes.
Now we'd like to hear from you. How will you use these ideas on traumatic memory in your work with your patients?
Please leave a comment below.
Emma Goldman, Nursing, Chicago, IL, USA says
Very well written and helpful. Thank you!
Mike Cardinal, Counseling, CA says
Learning recent developments in addressing and healing trauma have been helpful and growthful for myself as well as my clients.
Mike Cardinal RP
Leah Ewert, Nursing, Shelton , WA, USA says
Except it doesn’t ever really end. The emotions come back, the memories replay, unwanted, again and again and again.
I know it’s not happening now. I know tomorrow is a new day….it doesn’t help
Brenda Dyer, Another Field, Danielsville, GA, USA says
I have PTSD. I am a victim of Domestic Abuse, verbally, emotionally, and physically. I am going to a therapist twice a month. PTSD isn’t all I’ve been diagnosed with. I’m Bipolar with anxiety and panic attacks. I deal with the manic depressive mostly. I’ve attempted suicide 3 times throughout the years.
My ex husband of 14 yrs was very violent. I felt like I was walking on egg shells, carefully trying not to give him a reason to beat on me, but no matter how hard I tried, he would find a reason to abuse me. He is an alcoholic and a drug user. I couldn’t take anymore. Meth took him over. He neglected our daughter. She has seen too much violence all her life. He sold our vehicle, he starved us by chaining up the refrigerator, kept us with no money, broke any cell phones I had. We had no contact to the outside world. It got so bad, I had to slip a letter to our mail lady, who made sure my letter got to DFAC. DFAC took my daughter and myself to a safe house. ( we live in a rural county. Mostly farms) My ex worked for my Uncle next door, chicken houses and cattle farm. As I was trying to get rid of my ex, my Uncle kept him on the farm. Gave my ex MY GRANDPARENTS HOUSE.
When my daughter and myself came back home, ( he destroyed my home.) i had gotten a TPO, keeping him away from us. It did no good. He stalked me, stole from us, broke in on me at 3:00 am one night. I recorded his break in. ( my mom bought me a cell phone) I recorded his abuse. He took my phone and broke it, so all my efforts to stopping him failed. He came in on me on another night, started an argument and it got physical. He kicked me in my ribs 3 different times. He strangled me but I got loose. He attempted to strangle me again, when I reached around and picked up a knife and stabbed him in the arm. He finally quit hitting me and left. The police came and took a report but didn’t lock him up. The police didn’t even go to my old grandparents house to lock him up. ( my worthless Uncle had some pull with the police.) That kept my ex from getting locked up. So the abuse went on and on. The police said they would have to catch him on my property before they could lock him up.
After 3 yrs of this abuse with him living so close to my daughter and myself, and my worthless Uncle was losing money by keeping my ex working, the farm was losing money. My Worthless Uncle finally watched my ex not doing his job and fired him. He would have to move away from us. My worthless Uncle had to get an eviction papers, my ex wouldn’t leave peacefully. After a 60 day notice was up and my ex still refused to leave. The law had to go down and forcibly remove my ex. They searched him and found a baggie of Meth and a meth pipe. Finally he was locked up. He made bail and came back to the old house.
He walked to my place and started another argument. My daughter had to call the law. This time my ex didn’t leave before the police finally showed up. They handcuffed him and gave him a Trespass warning. They didn’t even take him to jail. They took him to the county line and let him go.
Finally after all that went on, he left and stayed with his friends.
When his friends got tired of his s##t, and kicked him to the curb.
I had to move with my daughter to a good friend of mine for our safety. He returned to my home, unwanted, stayed in the old barn.
I couldn’t go home and keep check on my mom, (who had Alzheimer’s). The law told me to stay away so there wouldn’t be any arguments or such. The law finally, after 7 days, locked him up on the trespass warning. The police didn’t try to contact me. When I found out they locked him up, and my Worthless Brother, ( he had been working out of the State), came home to find my mother on the floor where she fell and couldn’t get up. Her phone was dead and her phone cord had been chewed up by the dogs. When my brother called me, i came back home to help with mom. My daughter had to call for an ambulance. At the hospital, they ran tests and x-rays were taken. She had developed pneumonia, and had blood clots in her legs, and an calcified blood clot in her heart. My mom started to get better, we thought. My daughter and myself took turns with my mom, staying with her at the hospital. Then that Friday, she took a turn for the worst. I had to call the family in. She had slipped into a coma.
She past away that evening. I held my mom’s hand until she took her last breath.
I still remember like it was just yesterday. And here I am, still afraid my ex will hunt me down. So I stay in my friend’s house, not going outside no more than I had to. It’s been 2 yrs now. My ex husband is serving 3 yrs in prison, somewhere in south Georgia. I still have the “fight or flight” mode. I can’t shake it off. I still have night terrors from all the abuse. And at night, I can’t seem to fall asleep, my mind just won’t shut down. I relive the abuse constantly. A lot of things still trigger the abuse I went through. My daughter and my friends gets tired of me talking about it. They get upset with me when I talk about it. I don’t know how to put it behind me. I can’t seem to get past it. So I try to hold it in and suffer in silence. I cry many nights, no one knows.
I try to go forward with what life I still have, but nothing seems to help. I’m still afraid to leave the house, feared that one of his friends sees me and run tell him where I’m staying, shopping, or just out somewhere with my daughter. My anxiety is so bad, i just want to die. Suicide thoughts keep creeping in, telling me if I die, everyone will be happy if I’m gone. My daughter keeps telling me she loves me and needs me around. She’s my strength. She trys to keep me laughing and reassures me she still needs me.
So I live for her. My son is in Louisiana, and has made me a proud grandma of a handsome grandson. So I live for them. But I don’t know how to live for me. I’ve lost myself, I can’t seem to find my way. I don’t even remember the old me.
Thank you for reading this. Any feed back will be welcomed.
Keith Bacon, Another Field, GB says
I read your story. Brenda. I’m on the other side of the world and can’t help you.What this doctor is teaching comes from the ancient teachings of yoga / meditation. If you can find a teacher near you they might help you get started on a regular daily practice that could help you release the muscle tension that holds your trauma and calm your nervous system to reduce the racing mind.. It has worked for me but I must say your trauma is so much worse than mine in severity and how long it has lasted. You’ve got a good hard I hope you find a way.
Angie Grant, Another Field, CA says
Hi Brenda, you have every right to feel what you are feeling. You have lived in fear for so long. I can understand why you call your uncle “worthless” because he should have protected you. I’m sorry about your mom too. I know you wanted to be there for her more. You must be suffering from guilt about your daughter as well as all moms do. It is ok to cry at night. You have experienced so much grief! Feel good about letting it out. I’m sorry your support system is getting tired of listening to you talk about it. It is hard for them too. Keeping a journal will help you find a space for your feelings. Say whatever you want in it-no matter how horrible! Let it out! You have every right to feel afraid, angry, hopeless pathetic, strong, powerful, beautiful, ANYTHING. Your journal is for YOU and your inner voice can be well heard there. Pay attention to it.
You are really strong to reach out and help yourself. I agree with the above comment/reply with regards to yoga and meditation. There are a lot of YouTube tutorials on the subject. You can teach yourself. It is hard to believe that sitting still and breathing deeply could solve the canyon of trauma that your experience has been but it really can. It is actual science. Your brain has been protecting you from all this trauma so now it is still in survival mode. (This is something to be thankful for 😉 ) It is like a tool and can be trained and “re programmed” back into the parasympathetic mode. Meditation is excellent at achieving this and has been used for thousands of years. It doesn’t even take too long either! A daily practice is essential. Start with ten minutes, work up to 15-20 Make a thing out of it-light a candle and a beautiful incense. There’s lots of nice meditation music on YouTube as well and guided ones too.
Another thing to pay attention to is your inner dialogue-switching out negative thoughts for positive ones and repeating positive affirmations can work wonders as well. It might not feel like you believe it at first. Don’t give up. Start with an affirmation like “I am moving into a space of healing and light and honour all my feelings in this moment’ It is important not to feel shame for your negative emotions. Accept yourself as you are in this moment. It is ok to be depressed. The divine source is present in ALL beings. You are already perfect right now Brenda. Love all the good and all the bad feelings -negative emotions can be our greatest teachers! Your divine light is always shining within. Surrender yourself to this truth and allow it to heal you. There is only one moment and that is now. I hope I have said something that helps you. Love and hugs healing all the way from Ontario Canada Peace Brenda ??
Ashlei Thomas, Other, Enterprise, AL, USA says
Hi, Brenda wish I could tell you it gets better bc it does eventually! With anything it takes time and room to grow and find that comfort. For so long your body was in constant fear. You taking the time to go and see someone and talk to them is big steps! I’m proud of you! It takes courage to seek help. Especially in this crazy world we live in. I’m sure you feared nobody would believe you or take you serious. Just know that there is always someone who’s listening! Consider it a guardian angel as you may. Honestly my reason for even commenting on this is to tell you that you are strong and God never puts anything on us that we can’t handle , even though it seems like it’s never gonna end, it will I promise. We go thru a lot as humans(moms particularly) but we always make it thru it. We are designed to help people….I mean just look at the beautiful gift we have we can make people. I really hope that things get better for you and for your daughter and I know they will. Just stay on the path, keep seeking a counselor, pray, meditate, read self empowering books, anything to help keep your mind off the past. Local churches are awesome in this area. They even help with getting you back on your feet, provide comfort, and security. No matter what though just know that nobody deserves to be treated that way and you are special to me and I will continue to pray for you-your daughter, and the path of wellness and pray you find peace in the future. May God bless you and your family. Thank you for sharing your story. It really touched me!
Marki Carlson, Another Field, Roseburg, OR, USA says
I’m truly heart sick for you. For what you and your daughter have lived through. Neither of you ever deserved this. This is not your fault. Your husband is a coward and a predator. You were created for far better things and you still do deserve them. You’ve made it, you know…you are strong. Your daughter is strong. Right away I want to say this, ok, but it’s not a jab at you. Sometimes we need to hear things. Look, your daughter has had enough. You have gotten away from that man. She needs to be able to start finding some secure footing somewhere in this crazy world with you, her Momma. She can’t live in the fear each day wondering if this is the day Momma is going to kill herself. Is this the day she decided I’m not worth it to live for. What a massive, heavy load for a child. She is not your parent, you are hers, right…so we, even through all this, maybe even Especially through all this, she needs you to be her rock. Her security in all the insecure places.
Counseling- both of you. We ALL could use someone to talk to. There’s no shame there. Taking care of yourself is something to be proud of. If you don’t know where to go that’s ok! Get a hold of your local Social Services and they will help you. Period.
And for you, give yourself a break. You’ve done so many good things and now you can do more at your own pace one breath one step at a time. You are not what any evil thing has said about you to hurt you or tear you down. Ever. EVER. Even if you battle some vices, I don’t know,( you can reach out to Social Services with that as well – no judging, just help, -)no one has the right to hurt you or control you. Is not ok to do this in front of your daughter either, ever. What has been done is nothing short of vile and will be dealt with as the Lord sees fit.
I, too, for the last 20 years have gone thru the cycle of abuse and not too long finally found my freedom from the control, manipulation, mental and physical abuse, the isolation…imI had gone into a zombie state of living. I didn’t smile anymore. I didn’t even think about anything anymore. It was a horrible existence. And I, too, have a daughter. We’ve gone to two different shelters and stayed at my parents place before we finally found a rental. But we did it. So can you. Don’t give up.
I couldn’t have done it, not any of it, without Jesus Christ, and that’s a fact.
For years I was on my knees crying and pleading to Him. Angry at Him. Asking Him to change this and that. I didn’t know what to do! But I was doing it. I had faith. I knew someday, somehow it would be different. Different how? I had no idea. Just different. The day came that I just needed to leave. And the opportunity was there for the first time and I took it. My daughter and I left like we were being carried in God’s hand and went strait to getting a re straining order.
The love of our Heavenly Father is endless and incomprehensible. His mercy is great. He’s always searching us out hoping we’ll come to Him to experience forgiveness and peace beyond understanding. Blessing like you’d never knew could be. It’s an amazing thing, that relationship. Not religion. A relationship with Christ. He’s the only one that ever can truly fill that hole in your heart. And He will if you let Him. You’re still alive, you’re safe, it’s time to reclaim your life. Jesus has come that you may have life and have it more abundantly!! John 10:10 in the Bible
If you’d like to talk or if you have questions, anything at all, you can message me at:
msscfive@gmail.com
Please. Anytime. You’re worth it.
Jeanie Byars, Other, Keedysville, MD, USA says
I am reading this article to help educate me with PTSD….Depression…Truma….Domestic violence…..
Natalie Foltz, Other, Minneapolis , MN, USA says
The work that John Newton does with Ancestral clearing works at this leavel☆ Also German New Medicine learninggnm.com, has a list of the symptoms and what trauma it stems from. Every trauma effects the psyche, brain and organ simotineously. Change your perception, heal completely☆
Carl Pard, Other, GB says
Buddhism:
Realize that nothing is permanent and everything is always in a state of change.
Through meditation learn to quieten the inner dialogue by detaching yourself from the thoughts that come into your head.
See, hear, smell, FEEL the world around you and FEEL the world within you.
Congratulations! You’ve just scientifically proven the basic principles of Buddhism and are now going to teach it under a different name.
Keith Bacon, Occupational Therapy, GB says
Yes Indeed. Not just Buddhism but ancient yoga and Tai Chii and many other systems. Isn’t it amazing to realise it was worked out so long ago and has been passed down for thousands of years? I feel lucky to live in the age where science is validating the practical bits and separating them from the beliefs that muddy the waters. Also amazed how it is getting medicalised and profesdionalised which maybe stops some people from realising there may be a cheap teacher nearby.
Betsy Holloway, Another Field, New Brunswick, NJ, USA says
Healing began for me when I physically challenged my abuser publicly. I was damaged but not beyond repair. I did the work and it didn’t happen overnight but over years and sometimes even now. But I have gotten strong enough to help others who have been violated. But mostly I hate no shame for what I suffered.
Laurie P, Other, Fresno, CA, USA says
Good for you!
deborah anne kelsh, Another Field, Chardon, OH, USA says
I’ve always been insterested in therapy using hypnosis cuase I cant seem to unblock what I need to .. this article was helpful. I need to work w a therapist to help guide me.
Thank you
Blessed be
Deborah Anne
Keith Bacon, Other, GB says
Hi Deborah. Hypnotherapy was my introduction to meditation and then yoga / meditation. You don’t need a high priced western therapist but don’t pass up the chance for one if you can get it. Those ancient techniques dealt with how to help people cheaply
Charlotte Kirby, Another Field, CA says
I was date raped when i was 15 years ,id never drank anything other then milk and water.vodka was put in my first glass of coke with out my knowing,to this day i dont drink those kind of drinks.However life has had its ups and downs.When i get down and depressed i go and get a bottle of vodko and drink it straight out of the bottle no mix until i pass out over and over untell i am out of vodko and cant get up to go get any more.I do not enjoy drinking and i dont like hard stuff (just beer)sometimes. IVE OFTEN WONDERED why do i do this and why vodko.
Millie Taueki, Counseling, AU says
I know a lady who has been traumatised throughout her life and how these experiences have in a sense paralysed her to hopelessness and no way out. I never understood trauma let alone met someone so badly affected that it has affected her relationships with others on a daily basis. So this article has helped me to understand a little about this problem.
Nathalie Buchmann, Other, AU says
Getting them to understand impermanence .
Making them awhere the threat isn’t real.
Getting them to meditate for at least 20 min a day, so they develop the ability to see for themselves what their mind/body is doing.
Learn how to love yourself unconditionally .
Giving them the skills to be able to hold themselves, by the usesge of positive affermations each morning along with the meditation ….
Mary Grima, Stress Management, AU says
Help me.I need help
Joy Gabriel, Nursing, Portland, OR, USA says
Informative and well written article. What about the physiological effects every time a panic attack occurs? The prolonged effects over sometimes years take a toll. Have you published any articles on this topic?
Thanks?
l, Other, Winchester, KY, USA says
https://www.unk.com/blog/3-instantly-calming-cbt-techniques-for-anxiety/
Page Turner, Counseling, CA says
I’m a ptsr ( I call it response instead of disorder because it is a healthy response to trauma) survivor and peer counselor. This technique is limited to those who’s trauma only happened in the past. For many women survivors, sexual harassment, abuse and trauma are ongoing. Not because they have not left their abusers but because the system rewards abusers and tends to disbelieve targets of abuse which further traumatizes them. I’m disappointed that THIS one size fits all, generic, easy for any survivor to come up with themselves, advice … is all you have to offer.
Adele Maxwell, Other, AU says
Hi, I’ve suffered bullying for all my school life.
Then was emotionally and verbally as well as a few pushes and a slap on the lip by my husband. Sadly.? lost my Husband then my son became to abusive to live with. Then later a huge surgery that’s left me with chronic pain and long term misery. Doctors just can’t deal with my Complications and just keep me supplied with basic pain relief. It’s affecting me. Later ended up collapsing. Now I’m dealing with all this but it’s messing with my head.
Natasha Haigh, Physical Therapy, GB says
As a therapeutic bodyworker and in daily interactions, I encounter the manifestation and effect of trauma. The information within this report and The Body Keeps the Score will be invaluable on both a personal and professional level. Thank you for sharing this.
Kelly Veitch, Other, Jacksonville, FL, USA says
I would love to receuve that kind of therapy. Ive talked about the trauma for years and nothing has ever been resolved. I’ve led a life of self harming behaviors all my life.
Laura Alasadi, Other, Detroit, AZ, USA says
Thank you for this I have been traumatized and a child and also as adult .But dealing PTSD is not easy when secret come out from your parent which questions you why you let us go with him knowing what he had done to you and the whole family.Dirty little secrets hurt people and is traumatizing
Keryl Gillett, Another Field, AU says
This is brilliant!! Thank you for the insights
Michelle Cornell, Other, Beach City, OH, USA says
I was sexually abused at a very young age. I don’t remember when it started. My timeline is all messed up. I don’t remember when things happened or where they fit in. This is my whole life. I have worked through a lot of things in my life along with this, but I still have so much of this one that I’ve blocked and still struggle with triggers that I don’t even recognize as being triggers . I will always be a work in progress
Thanks for the info.
Mia Carr, Another Field, CA says
Me too. I was diapers until 39 months old. I can relate to struggling with triggers that I am unaware are triggers until its too late and I’m in react/fight or flight mode. Slowly healing and dealing with it
Jacqueline Graham, Other, cumberland, MD, USA says
I’m not a therapist..I guess you could say I’m a patient. In my case even though some would say (that aint nothing) it is to me. I remember some things but I dont remember things that my children have tried reminding me of??? One thing is as I am 61years old I am terrified of living alone and I don’t know why???
Nakai Dziya, Another Field, GB says
Such an interesting article, working within Dance Movement Therapy, these are core issues around working with embodiment and connection to self. The sense of time or weightlessness that one can foster or hypervigilance are all key areas to address. Look forward to finding out more.
Lorraine Dodd, Counseling, AU says
Very interesting ..I would like more information please
Anne R, Nursing, Clearwater, FL, USA says
Very helpful. I work as a volunteer with the homeless. I will share this with my co workers. Thanks
STELLA M. Smith, Other, Missoula, MT, USA says
I will not be using it with patients, but it did help me with understanding my own trauma. And it goes along quite well with the book, Healing Trauma by Peter Levine.
My husband committed suicide in a separate room from where I was, but only about 15 feet away. GSW. The way I am holding the trauma in my body is shocking.
This article makes sense especially regarding talk therapy. It seems in talking to my therapist it brings up my “experience” in a way that triggers the trauma and not in a healing way. I have been doing dr. Levine’s body movement, the shaking of the body and that seems to help somewhat. What is interesting, is the pain I have in my upper legs , and my head / neck wanting to be in a position of Leaning outward and forward as if I am ready to run . So I feel as if the fight-or-flight still exist in my body and the overall pain is frustrating. I went from feeling like a very healthy middle-aged woman who’s very outdoorsy and loves fly fishing, to someone who’s old and hesitant and not confident in her stride. Ive tried many modalities to survive this. Thus experience opened up past traumas that I had hidden away.
I will continue seeking. I am grateful for people like you, Levine, Gabor Mate for the deep level of peeling the layers of trauma back to its core to find solutions.Thanks again for this article I very much enjoyed it.
Sincerely,
Martin Velez, Another Field, Mechanicsburg, PA, USA says
I want to know more about the program-my trauma is too extensive to list here. My therapist Tells me I have PTSD, explains a lot why I did the things I did to my body and mind. I’m no longer that suicidal. I now only get those feelings maybe twice a month. Panic attacks also subsided a lot. Anyway. More info yes!?
Sonya Shelley, Other, independence, MO, USA says
I’ve been blessed with a therapist who is always seeking to know more. I’ve also read your book, the body keeps the score, and loved it. I shared it with friends who were dealing with repressed trauma, and it got them pointed in the right direction and gave them hope. My therapist is trained in emdr, sensorimotor psychotherapy, and havening. All techniques that access and process the trauma through the body. These techniques have finally begun to bring healing to me. I’m finally in a fairly stable place.
I’m so grateful. I still have mostly implicit memories. I never imagined I could experience healing without a “legitimate” story to explain things. Now I know how to give real support to my kids when I might have said in the past, just get over it. I know how to lessen the traumatic impact of things that happen. I don’t invalidate myself as much. I don’t bury things anymore. There’s no need to when you can process it properly and actually heal from it!
Sherry Belman, Psychotherapy, New York, NY, USA says
Blessings indeed, The best to you!
Janice P, Another Field, AU says
I have got experiences of childhood trauma and abuse. These are the steps I took and found them helpful.
I talked about my painful experiences.
Then I felt the emotions through writing about what I remembered and how I felt about what had happened.
I built a new Identity for myself using things I liked about myself and what others liked about me.
Then I learnt about my parents. Learnt about their pains and experiences.
That taught me that the abuse was about them and not me.
Please don’t go on this journey alone please find a good counsellor to go on the journey with you.
Ann Penfold, Counseling, GB says
Hi thank you I found this excellent, I will write this up I have been doing a lot of CBT as I love learning I have done Person centered Councilling level 3-4 which was great for my personal development as I suffer from Anxiety, and depression . If you have any other good reading which is Free I would be very grateful . Also if you know of any courses that would benefit me that would be great
Thank you
STELLA M. Smith, Other, Missoula, MT, USA says
I will not be using it with patients, but it did help me with understanding my own trauma. And it goes along quite well with the book, Healing Trauma by Peter Levine.
My husband committed suicide in a separate room from where I was, but only about 15 feet away. GSW. The way I am holding the trauma in my body is shocking.
This article makes sense especially regarding talk therapy. It seems in talking to my therapist it brings up my “experience” in a way that triggers the trauma and not in a healing way. I have been doing dr. Levine’s body movement, the shaking of the body and that seems to help somewhat. What is interesting, is the pain I have in my upper legs , and my head / neck wanting to be in a position of Leaning outward and forward as if I am ready to run . So I feel as if the fight-or-flight still exist in my body and the overall pain is frustrating. I went from feeling like a very healthy middle-aged woman who’s very outdoorsy and loves fly fishing, to someone who’s old and hesitant and not confident in her stride. Ive tried many modalities to survive this. Thus experience opened up past traumas that I had hidden away.
I will continue seeking. I am grateful for people like you, Levine, Gabor Mate for the deep level of peeling the layers of trauma back to its core to find solutions.Thanks again for this article I very much enjoyed it.
Sincerely,
S
C, Another Field, CA says
I was traumatized before i took psychiatric drugs knowing ahead of time the dangers of these drugs and that i have a bad reaction to them. I took them and the drugs did so much damage to my brain i can no longer get tired or sleep normal. Not only did i have trauma before drugs but now the drugs have traumatized me on top of the existing trauma. Nothing works. I feel i never be healed that my sleep will never return that i will always panic have anxiety never feel calm ever again. I regret not getting help and avoiding drugs..the drugs only intensified my previous trauma increasing panic attacks brought on phobias paranoia suicidal thoughts that never end.
z w, Student, GB says
Please see Teal Swan and the completion process, you can find a practitioner. Please also look at Dr Robert Morse for nutritional guidance. Please be kind and forgiving to yourself and gentle in everything you do with yourself. There’s always chance to heal with every new day, keep exploring to find what little things might work for you, seek your joy, its still there just in hiding, the universe and your inner being will never give up on you. Support x
Sera Taj, Other, Sweet home, AL, USA says
More info pls been impossible to find a trauma therapist with availability to really take me on. More info needed
Janice Pich, Another Field, AU says
I have suffered childhood trauma and abuse than went on to being in abusive marriages. I am now the other side of healing and work with the homeless of whom many have trauma. One of the things that I find very frustrating is, many of the people I work with are so drugged up that they cant feel the trauma. They are numb and as a result the stay on the cycle of destruction. But I do try and remind those I work with that they are safe and give them ideas for calming down the limbic (reptilian) system.
Jo Jones, Student, GB says
Interesting piece.. 2nd year student studying Child & Adolescence in Psychotherapy and Counselling.
Glee Foltz, Dentistry, Ogden, UT, USA says
EMDR (eye movement Desensitzation and Processing) Therapy is the best way to access those feelings and file them away permanently. Look for an EMDR certified therapist and get rid of anxiety. The book “Feelings Buried Alive Never Die” by Karol Truman, has helped me immensely, but new therapies like ART
Accelerated Resolution Therapy can cure PTSD triggers. Research the above therapies and get help today!
Cynthia A Travers, Other, CA says
This is my life story in full thanks so much I do see it now… it’s taken 61 years to see this now I know it will be better for all…
Jessica Atkins, Health Education, Comstock Park , MI, USA says
I am looking into this; would be beneficial for me. Wow!
chrysty anderson, Other, springtown, TX, USA says
i will use it as a patient ..thanks
anything that helps please send it to me.. i was hurt alot as a child and never talked about it.
Sue B, Nursing, Cincinnati , OH, USA says
Our childhood wounds will keep showing up in our lives because they want to be healed. We will keep attracting a situation in our lives that shows up in our relationships with others as well as ourselves, until we recognize the truth that all problems we have stem from have the roots of stuffed emotions and unprocessed grief. The loss of safety of not having an unconditional loving adult/parent in our lives to go to with our hurts and fears as a child, results in a psychological development crisis. Dissociation from of feelings (and therefore our bodies) can be the result. I found a method to recover from “the rupture of the initial abandonment”, through the Adult Child of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families program which is a worldwide program for all
people of the whole world who realize they need this healing to become free from the question of why they have to suffer from emotional torment, even when their present lives don’t seem to warrant the need to suffer so much. To do this investigative work
results in the greatest gift of FREEDOM. No more suicidal thoughts, ever!…I found my lost self…For this, I am most grateful.
Lisa Monopoli, Clergy, Eau Claire, WI, USA says
I am not a thearpist. I am a survivor of emotional abuse, abandonment, and several other traumatic events as well as a TBI survivor.
I believe knowledge is power. I have been working through buried past trauma. I can honestly say PTSD can take over one’s life unless one decides to gain control back. One must surround themselves with people who will be on one’s team. I’ve found that to be the best success for me. It may mean leaving some family a d friends behind, but for me once I did I began to grow.
Sometimes people in one’s surroundings won’t let one grow. They keep one stunted by the way they treat that person. Again only be around those on your team.
Just remember God is with you even in your darkest hour. Give your burdens up to him and set yourself free.
Also give oneself credit to have survived. You are stronger than you realize.
Peace and Blessings to all.
Jennifer Towne, Other, Holderness, NH, USA says
As I was randomly scrolling through Facebook, this post caught my attention immediately! After reading this brief article, I can absolutely relate!!! It makes perfect sense!
I was unaware of any techniques that could be used to help patients work through such intense trauma. Thank you ?
Johnnie Moss, Counseling, Tulsa, OK, USA says
This too shall pass!
Try to remember feeling like that before.
Helene Duchesneau, Another Field, CA says
I’m not a therapist, I’m a traumatic person and what you said is so clear and verry interesting I Will try it on myself
Ramona Atkinson, Counseling, Savannah, GA, USA says
Helping people re-gain their personal power is important. Often they feel utterly helpless in their circumstances. Giving them permission to practice self-care by formulating reasonable boundaries also helps. I agree they would benefit by feeling through the emotions brought forth by re-experiencing trauma.
Kim Reck, Teacher, CA says
EMDR has helped me move on finally!! I tried traditional talk therapies for years but EMDR finally dislodged those painful feelings and freed my heart. Am still a work in progress but I see the light at the end of an extremely dark tunnel and am excited about the transformation. I am shedding my coccoon!!
Ana Spender, Another Field, Tarpon springs, FL, USA says
Through distraction, Buddhist teachings helped me a lot to live with myself after PTSD caused by bombing that lasted 3 months and finally explosion I ended up with 3 months in coma 2 years in physical therapy, lost everything and was pushing through life like nothing happened. Existentialism helped me as well to recognize that when I blame others I point the traits I have and dislike. Gut of survival when 40 close colleagues, friends and family dies and I am still alive. I advise when pointing finger to point it inwards and explore. Distraction and realisation that what ever happens it will be ok even if I am not. I am working on that everyday and when I manage everything falls into place.
Lorraine Vollmer, Other, San Antonio , TX, USA says
Can it be that I really don’t want to be free because I’m comfortable knowing the abuse? I have a reason, an excuse for why I’m the way I am now? Why I say the off the wall things I say. Why I cry over things when no one else is. Maybe I have always irritated him and others and still do. I don’t like me, why should they? I’m not changing with my changed life. Like my son told me “we have all moved on without you because you refuse to change, you refuse to move on” I know I am screaming out loud but there is no sound. A nightmare I just can’t quite seem to jolt out of. I know something is very wrong with my mind, my reactions. I only see bits and pieces of the past. I do not see anything in the future. “Move on with your life because I have Lorraine. Pull your head out of the sand Lorraine. I’m gone”. I am too.
Taina Salo, Another Field, CA says
Just reading ll this gives me negative physical reactions. The problem with my recovery is that I REMEMBER almost everything about my long-term abuse. I have been working very hard to recover from my fibromyalgia. Meditation has helped me a lot, to actually process those negative experiences and emotions. It left me totally drained for weeks, but my pain has been minimal. Still trying to tackle this with mindfulness and CBD oil. I take small amounts of THC oil to relax me. It helps. I live in Canada so, cannabis is legal here and I order from our Government website. The memories are my problem.
Rose Dupuis, Other, CA says
I work in an environment where male workers from another country have come from a very horrific violent prison system. We have gone through many changes of awareness in how insignificant action or scent will trigger memory and an incredible fear reaction. I agree speaking about the memory of experience has helped yet there is still deeply buried in their subconscious. Each day they struggle and keep a tight rein on their memories and the upheavals of trauma, and each day they release this fear or anger over the pain and trauma experienced. Over the last 1 1/2 months I have seen them let go of so much pain and anger, heal many things as they learn a new skill, culture, language and life style. They have much courage and strength and as their beautiful personalities start to show, I see how much work the world has in all the countries in how their populations live and how they end up in dysfunctional judicial systems and the treatment of people in those systems. When the world stops ignoring the crimes of how these people are treated perhaps there will be a better process for many people. Crime is Crime and the law is there for all, only who has to adhere to it and who flaunts their ability to break every judicial code with no punishment or restraint?
thank you for your work and this article keep up the good work and taking this to the prison systems safely would make a large contribution to many people.
Thks again R
Faye, Other, GB says
The problem isn’t blaming others for your problems because, it may be someone else’s fault that you have developed a certain coping mechanism or belief system as a result of how they have treated you if you never knew any different way of being. Such as a child being abused by their parent would not know this isn’t normal until being exposed into the world and observing other families. By this point the behaviour and attitudes they have developed are deeply ingrained. The problem is how do you help clients to identify these negative coping mechanisms, that are no lo longer necessary, and replace them with new positive strategies. How do you change their limiting beliefs about themselves and how do you change their inner dialogue?
I have had over 5 years of therapy and not one therapist has helped me understand the above I have had to research psychology and come to my own understand of the problem and try to create my own solutions. I hope to study psychology at university one day because I feel there is little available in regards to practical application of techniques.
Jodie Very, Stress Management, Tusca , AL, USA says
Investigate energy healing and cellular memory and EFT. Talking can only get you so far.
Me, Myself and ??️, Other, Anywhere, AZ, USA says
You are absolutely correct Faye.
I have seen numerous counselors, psychologists & even those ‘drug pushing’ psychiatrists.
Not a single one of them have been capable of helping Me to get to the actual Root of My pains to Heal.