Working With Your Client’s Traumatic Memories
with Bessel van der Kolk, MD
and Ruth Buczynski, PhD
Sometimes we remember what seem like the smallest, most insignificant details of our lives – an 8th grade locker combination, a story heard at a party years ago, or all the lines from a favorite movie.
These memories – full of facts, words, and events – are explicit memories.
But there are different kinds of memories – ones that are evoked by sights, sounds, or even smells.
For example, the smell of coffee percolating atop a gas stove could bring back Sunday afternoons around the table with beloved grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
On the other hand, being surprised by the scent of a particular aftershave, for instance, could elicit feelings of fear, panic, or even terror.
A person who was traumatized as a child might re-experience the all-too-familiar sensations of quivering in fear or breaking out in a cold sweat.
And it may have very little to do with the verbal thought process of, “Oh, this reminds me of the incident of my father hitting me.”
Traumatic memory is formed and stored very differently than everyday memory.
So let’s take a closer look at what happens when a person experiences trauma.
What Happens When the Brain Can’t Process Trauma
Dr. Van der Kolk: If a person was abused as a child, the brain can become wired to believe, “I’m a person to whom terrible things happen, and I better be on the alert for who’s going to hurt me now.”
Those are conscious thoughts that become stored in a very elementary part of the brain.
But what happens to adults when they become traumatized by something terrible they’ve experienced?
Simply put, the brain becomes overwhelmed. That’s because the thalamus shuts down and the entire picture of what happened can’t be stored in their brain.
So instead of forming specific memories of the full event, people who have been traumatized remember images, sights, sounds, and physical sensations without much context.
And certain sensations just become triggers of the past.
You see, the brain continually forms maps of the world – maps of what is safe and what is dangerous.
That’s how the brain becomes wired. People carry an internal map of who they are in relationship to the world. That becomes their memory system, but it’s not a known memory system like that of verbal memories.
It’s an implicit memory system.
What that means is that a particular traumatic incident may not be remembered as a story of something that’s happened a long time ago. Instead, it gets triggered by sensations that people are experiencing in the present that can activate their emotional states.
It’s a much more elementary, organic level of a single sensation triggering the state of fear.
A person might keep thinking about the sensation and say, “Oh, this must be because it reminds me of the time that my father hit me.”
But that’s not the connection that the mind makes at that particular time.
How the Lack of Context Impacts Treatment
So what difference will it make in our work, knowing that a traumatic memory was encoded without context?
It’s important to recognize that PTSD, or the experience of trauma is not about the past. It’s about a body that continues to behave and organize itself as if the experience is happening right now.
When we’re working with people who have been traumatized, it’s crucial to help them learn how to field the present as it is and to tolerate whatever goes on. The past is only relevant in as far as it stirs up current sensations, feelings, emotions and thoughts.
The story about the past is just a story that people tell to explain how bad the trauma was, or why they have certain behaviors.
But the real issue is that trauma changes people. They feel different and experience certain sensations differently.
That’s why the main focus of therapy needs to be helping people shift their internal experience or, in other words, how the trauma is lodged inside them.
How Talking Can Distract a Client from Feeling
Now, in helping people learn to stay with their sensations, we need to resist the temptation to ask them to talk about their experience and what they’re aware of.
This is because talking can convey a defense against feeling.
Through the use of brain imagery, we’ve learned that when people are feeling something very deeply, one particular area of the brain lights up.
And we’ve seen other images taken when people are beginning to talk about their trauma and, when they do, another part of the brain lights up.
So talking can be a distraction from helping patients notice what is going on within themselves.
And that’s why some of the best therapy is very largely non-verbal, where the main task of the therapist is to help people to feel what they feel - to notice what they notice, to see how things flow within themselves, and to reestablish their sense of time inside.
Why Restoring the Sense of Time Can Make Emotions More Bearable
All too often, when people feel traumatized, their bodies can feel like they’re under threat even if it’s a beautiful day and they’re in no particular danger.
So our task becomes helping people to feel those feelings of threat, and to just notice how the feelings go away as time goes on.
The body never stays the same because the body is always in a state of flux.
It’s important to help a patient learn that, when a sensation comes up, it’s okay to have it because something else will come next.
This is one way we can help patients re-establish this sense of time which gets destroyed by the trauma.
Sensations and emotions become intolerable for clients because they think, “This will never come to an end.”
But once a patient knows that something will come to an end, their whole attitude changes.
Now we'd like to hear from you. How will you use these ideas on traumatic memory in your work with your patients?
Please leave a comment below.
Christine O'Grady, Nursing, GB says
This is so true. I suffered trauma in childhood and have found therapy where I am helped to feel has helped to dissipate fear of feeling and brought healing.
Erica DeLong, Nursing, Albany, NY, USA says
This seems like an overly simplified version of DBT; Which is very successful when implemented properly, but isn’t as cut and dry and as simple as is stated here. I agree that feelings and words come from different parts of the brain, bit that is basic. I’m not sure what sort of breakthrough I have missed here.
Irene Strugnell, Student, AU says
Just needed this I did understand but reading this is going to help me to try avoid trap f to much compassion and jresponding to much to others how need help also
Jeannie Dunp, Other, CA says
I know that my childhood trauma and adult trauma was not my fault. I do have scars that have left me feeling unbalanced and unbearable in many ways. I have participated in programs that were good programs but were in ideal situations that made me feel safe and did not bring out the ugly daily feelings. I don’t need to search my past, I know the details. I am looking for help in overcoming my self hatred and many other insecurities that have lead me to isolation as I become older. When I was younger I could fake it and hide it. Now that I am older I am too tired to pretend. Where can I find that help. I have a psychiatrist. I have done CPT and affirmations, DPT. I am to the point that I am so sensitive that one criticism can make me isolate myself for weeks. I no longer live a life. Any suggestions?
Vickie Allen, Psychology, Mount Sterling, KY, USA says
I absolutely agree with this,, also every word of it is the truth, and I have experienced a tramatic event myself. Therefore I completely understand this, and yes the therepy that you suggested does in fact work. My tramatic event got me into studying Phycology, because I had to find out why some people do the things that they do, basically so I could get a better understanding of mental health issues. I also believe that the abuser, drug addicts, and criminals has a mental health problem. Therefore I decided I wanted to help others with mental health issues, and it has absolutely helped me heal from all the abuse and the tramatic event that I experienced with.. Thank you sincerely. Vickie Allen.
Laura LeBlanc, Other, Beaumont, TX, USA says
Hello , my name is Laura LeBlanc . Im from Beaumont, Tx. In the last two years i have had severe trauma. Im seeing a Doctor but really nothing is helping. I truly need help so i can move on with my life. Please Help !! My emil is leblanclaura046@gmail.com. my phone number is 409-350-6725. Thank you sincerely Laura LeBlanc
Jayne Hopwood, Another Field, GB says
I’m in the same place. I’ve discovered RTT. A therepy founded by Marissa Peer. Take a look. There is alot available on line free of charge. I believe in its value. Best wishes, jayne
Edwina Hunter, Other, NZ says
Much appreciated the info
Deana Marie Newman, Other, Alpena, MI, USA says
I read and am going to reread again to a friend.
Heather Mckee, Another Field, GB says
To be traumatised is so hard to live with .. when all you want is to feel safe an keep it family and friends safe so sad ? u have to learn to live with it an learn to trust again is the hard part
Alison Waters, Other, GB says
I’m going to share this with my therapist to help him understand me.
Shawna Rados, Other, Upland, CA, USA says
I’m almost getting PTSD just reading all the comments below. The article was interesting, but the responses from “this rocked” to “f**** off” were enough to keep my insomnia well activated and my idle time poorly spent. If you don’t mind, I’m going to move on now and clear the space consumption this article and all recipients have stolen from me. Thank you. That was 4 hours of my time that I can never get back. And I remember it all so clearly. As if it JUST HAPPENED.
Aimee Rivas, Nursing, Port Charlotte , FL, USA says
It does not work
Ann McFarland, Other, Chandler, AZ, USA says
Aimee Rivas, did you try this to find it did not work? If so, with whom did you try It?
Ang Lawrence, Coach, Kittery, ME, USA says
Great article this explains a lot. Thank you.
Deidre Dichristina, Other, Lakeland , FL, USA says
Although I continue to TRY & keep a positive outlook daily these episodes have damaged & complicated my life on so many levels ! Unfortunately, my loved ones have to tolerate my craziness as well? anyway I’m HAPPY too see studies and treatments are finding ANSWERS FINALLY ?? about TIME!
Monica Galvan, Another Field, Glenwood , IA, USA says
Wow that’s interesting I have been working on this issue for the most part of my life that has burden me most of my 60yrs and I am glad a friend suggestion to read this article about trauma is going to be useful
Thank you
Sara Willerton, Nursing, Omaha, NE, USA says
So, what do you do when you KNOW that the feelings caused by the trauma won’t go away? Like feelings of grief, loss and feeling lost after a traumatic death?
hayley, Health Education, GB says
It’s my experience as a mindfulness teacher for pain and stress that if you sit with the feeling and acknowledge it without drowning in it and just become curious then it will usually pass. It’s the same with chronic pain. The more you fight the feelings the more they come back. This is the core of mindfulness practice and it’s useful to process emotions.
Margaret Hamilton, Another Field, Old Westbury, NY, USA says
How do you stop the drowning?
Sara Willerton, Nursing, Omaha, NE, USA says
Right now, I don’t know, but if you find something or someone who can give you answers to that question, let me know. I am also drowning in grief, but you’re not alone sister.*hugs*
Deidre Dichristina, Other, Lakeland , FL, USA says
I too struggle with this .. I cared for my dad.. 2 sisters and mom I’m their terminal illnesses & NEVER got through the grief or loss & the ONLY advice I can suggest is when you DO feel that familiar “drowning “ REACH OUT to someone trusted .. talking isant a FiX but it certainly helps when you know your not truly alone .. ( personally I prefer prayer rather then talking but that’s just me )
Victoria Penney, Health Education, CA says
Yes I can relate to being a supporter..to husband..he was in a computer gaming company. He did all this creativeness..leaving myself to make the days with my son. I did..my husband became distant and while so busy..found another. It is traumatic..we had done the steps to make our life. Son had confusion..learning problems. I gave all I had. Before my son I did rehabilitation w persons after brain injuries..life management. No partner changes a lot. Seems my son doesnt want to talk..I’m sad..like I dont seem to count to anyone. Going to dance class today..I just hate that people leave for really twisted reasons. Believe in aiming high but it seems impossible to make my life again. Praying..for a couple friends..its too hard doing so much w pain.
Daniel Franklin, Other, Batesville, AR, USA says
Makes sense to me
Jenza Hanson, Another Field, Seattle, WA, USA says
Thank you I believe you are on the right track.
Jenza Hanson, Other, Seattle, WA, USA says
Thank you. I am not a professional but a survivor with non military ptsd. You’re not the right track I believe and will share this with my current therapist. Maybe we can get more work done. Thanks again
Margaret Hamilton, Another Field, Old Westbury, NY, USA says
I have non military PTSD. I don’t even understand what was written. Does one wave a magic wand to stop the drowning? It would be lovely to just not fight it. It happens and I can not stop it. I flunked mindfulness and do not understand it at all. The EMDR guided me by phone. When I spoke to a psychiatrist who had PTSD the response was that was hypnosis.
I don’t think this is the right track either. I spent a year doing EMDR which I never did. The therapist did the exposure but not the control. I spent a year thinking about trauma all day attempting to control it. It’s worse now than ever.
Margaret Hamilton, Another Field, Old Westbury, NY, USA says
To Jenza. This doesn’t seem to be the right track for me. I’m non military PTSD. That’s a good way to put it. When I say domestic abuse people run. To me saying “dont drown” puts the burden of healing on the victim who is drowning in it and gets overwhelmed and this therapist doesn’t help me stop from getting drowned. That makes me feel like the trauma is my fault because I’m not capable of stopping it. If I didn’t get overwhelmed I wouldn’t go to a therapist. The only thing that helped was “corners. Look fast left, down, right down or any direction you like but hit four corners with your eyes. You have to be in a room. One, two, three , four. All you need is a wall. If it helps , say one, two three, four. It grounds me. No one knows you’re doing it either. Hope it helps.
Mark, Other, GB says
I sadly discovered the body of a drowned woman when I was 11 years old. My life was subsequently fucked with no guidance help or solution from British Health Authorities. I’ve been in the mire since this traumatic experience and have only myself to help deal with my anxieties on a daily basis since this occurrence???
Mark, Other, GB says
I sadly discovered the body of a drowned woman when I was 11 years old. My life was subsequently fucked with no guidance help or solution from British Health Authorities. I’ve been in the mire since this traumatic experience and have only myself to help deal with my anxieties on a dairy basis since this occurrence???
Declan Connolly, Other, IE says
Thank you so much for this information. I have been true brain injury and yes things do come to an end. I do meditation and it helps me alot. Mindfulness and brain healing one’s are very good
Hope Robson, Social Work, CA says
Absolutely invaluable information. Thank you.
Ron Browne, Naturopathic Physician, NZ says
Thankyou now i have a better understanding on what might be causing my sons nightmares. Possibly not his medications but from his trauma
Genev Flores, Nursing, Kittery , ME, USA says
EMDR really helps with this non-verbal processing. I am in the process of my own trauma recovery and everything in the article is true and accurate about what is occurring inside. I often explain to people that one of the hardest things to understand is how my internal emotions aren’t congruent with present time or situation and that it’s like my nervous system is being haunted by the past. The feelings come and go with no clear rhyme or reason, but the important thing is that they do pass. The key here is to encourage those you are treating to lean into the discomfort, acknowledge the feeling, even say “Hello” to sadness, fear, anxiety, anger… and they will find that it is bearable and that they can overcome this. After all, they have already survived the trauma. P.S. Remind them that it’s OKAY to not be okay and to be kind to themselves.
Ang Lawrence, Coach, Kittery, ME, USA says
This explains a lot to me about my girlfriend and her reaction to something I did, she said it reminded her of traumatic experience she had as a child. I’m trying to wrap my mind around why you would destroy good things over bad memories.
Joy Kramer, Nursing, St. Paul, MN, USA says
It’s not our CHOICE to “destroy good things over bad memories”. It’s not like we have 2 options in our emotional memory:
A- I will choose to go to this wedding, knowing full well that my rapist will be there, as the father of the groom. I will go anyway, and every time I see him I will “CHOOSE” to just NOT have any negative emotions pop up. No flashbacks will happen. No sweats, tears, or screams shall escape my body. I will just “select” the option of fully controlling my feelings.
(How silly of me not to have figured THAT out on my own. Duh)
OR
B- KNOWING that the individual for whom you have a hatred/terror/vomit-on-sight reaction will BE at that wedding, and being STRONG enough to know that you can’t handle it with the dignity with which you would prefer, “CHOOSING” to stay home/not go to the reception where there will be beer, and people possibly getting “handsy”….especially THAT individual.
Instead, I’m making the suitable, yet difficult, decision to politely bow out, save EVERYONE a possibly MASSIVE situation, and save oneself the very real possibility of being the MAJOR cause of some MAJOR embarrassment.
*ahem*
Pardon me….
I may have been personalizing JUST a smidge.
I beg your pardon for the tone, but not the content.
Best wishes to your girlfriend! ?
Isobel Grindley, Health Education, GB says
I have limited experience and training in Dementia Care.
This information reiterates what I have learnt about non verbal communication.
It is therapeutic for me and encouraging because of it’s relevance to situations where an individual offers support to others
Tony Cahill, Another Field, GB says
I am 64 . And alone for 23 hrs a day.34. Ur marriage. Ceased. Abruptly.family home.gone.wife won’t let me contact her. I’m in a flat alone I’ll.not even had time to take in what went on .suffering bad with depression anxiety.shaking scared to leave home. Yet the silence from my family is ongoing.I did not know what has happened.
So my pain seems like. Pts.but the problem is very much ongoing. It is metal hell no sleep good or interest in anything. So many tablets.but they don’t help.as the cause of my stress. Is still happening. TC
Claudette Tay, Other, AU says
I unfortunately am a survivor of childhood abuse sexually emotionally and physically it’s not as easy as it sounds the only bearable end to this trauma will be when I finally die but this article was interesting
Z, Other, GB says
I found this very interesting and true to my experience in trauma that i can only remember certain images in my brain and i so wish I could remember it all as it would help me so much
Joy K, Nursing, St. Paul, MN, USA says
Those portions of the memory may have been purposely omitted by your own self-preservation mechanism…I KNOW that if I were to suddenly “remember” ALLLLLLLL of the many, MANY traumatic occurrences that have happened to me, I would spontaneously combust…at least internally. I would most likely be rendered catatonic at the very least.
Best wishes! ?
Michelle Coyne, Counseling, IE says
Trauma can remain locked away for an unknown reason or unknown amount of time. The difficult piece is when the trauma becomes reactivated and the client does not recognise it immediately but with the right support they can work through it.
Debbie White, Other, Cedar Rapids , IA, USA says
I have suffered trauma, and I talk about it a lot in detail. My life is much better now, but I dwell on the past a lot. Is there hope for me?
Michelle Coyne, Counseling, IE says
Yes, there is. Remember when you think of the past you are creating a thought pattern which has become familiar to you. Speak to your therapist about how to break these thought patterns.
Rev. Lisa M Murray, ND, Naturopathic Physician, Floyds Knobs, IN, USA says
Slow down the pace and reroute to incorporate alternative suggestions and demonstrations (e.g. breathing exercise: the oxygenated brain is more likely to act than react).
Hannelore Lind, Other, AU says
Over my 75 years I’ve found a place within myself that l feel safe, and ok with the world, and, confident and happy with who I’ve become.
And it’s having had a very hard life that has taught me to cope, take responsibility for my actions and never give up and not hate, because hate is also a disease and will destroy your mind and body.
One can forgive but, can’t really forget abuse but, you can learn to live with it and not let it destroy you, as a matter of fact there are also very valuable lessons to be learnt on what not to do to others especially family.
JODI FLATHERS, Other, Kansas City , MO, USA says
I have had a very traumatic life of different kinds of abuse. Now almost 50 I cant remember when the last time I had a good time or a memory that’s good or even a smile for a long time. I’ve been on antidepressants for years and it only helps the depression levels. Not the memory. Thanks for listening jodi Flathers
Nell Hall, Nursing, AU says
Sending you all of the love in the entire Universe, little Jodi Flathers.
Roger Fullbright, Student, Greenville , SC, USA says
My question is about how a suppression event can affect you,I experienced one with the love of my life. An emotional suppression in which I didn’t remember all but three events about her. 19 years went by, then ,I had every glorious moment with her suddenly came back like a flood. I cried for nearly 4 days constantly. Please help explain why and how something so traumatizing can happen. Roger James Fullbright, gietfuller@gmail.com
tanya krages, Another Field, louisville, KY, USA says
I’m 55 yrs old with p.t.s.d. ,d.i.d and other mental issues. I had a Very wise mentor that was helpful in my illness.I feel the need to say this, With my illness it was cause and effect<<>Cause & effect .Thanks P.S. I agree with everything you wrote…what I said was for all who suffer and most of those that do suffer come from simple narrowed down words through out their life ,I mean look who raised us>The never ending illness won’t stop until we accept ourselfs and how it happened to us >>>>Cause & effect=accept…For me this has helped.
Nell Hall, Nursing, AU says
? I hear you, little Tanya Krages. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with me ?
Mary Jacobs, Student, NZ says
Today I had a task to do for my son, it reminded me of my grandmother when she taught me how to sew. I had feelings of encouragement, self confidence ,self worth I felt proud in doing one simple task. I have been telling myself that I am safe iam loved iam good enough this will be my stepping stone to being where I want to be. The pressure that I got from working as a security officer has impacted on my life at home, so I quit because I wasn’t coping. Thank you Mary. J.?
Hineone Gilbert, Nursing, NZ says
I don’t feel I know enough to use it
Gerard Roche, Counseling, IE says
Never re- traumatise!
Elvira Jean Solomon, Other, Lakeland, FL, USA says
I do not as far as I know have to deal with PTSD however I know a person that does and they could benefit greatly by this type of therapy and also by reading this article and seeking you out, thank you for sharing the information.
Diane Inscoe, Other, Savannah, GA, USA says
I’m a person with post-traumatic stress and all that is true what you say it’s times when something triggers my brain it feels like I can’t get out of the situation like I’m stuck in a bag my brain and I can’t get out of my brain or I can’t get out of the trauma and I’m fighting like hell to get out and I can’t never get out until a certain amount of time passes and then finally I get another thought but sometimes it can be for a half a day or hours that’s just a start
Myrtle Flansgan, Other, GB says
Please be mindful that when you share things about your children and other vulnerable people, if your real name is on here, they can be identified and this may come up in Google searches. I think it’s respectful and also protective if we don’t do this and am surprised that nicabm.com hasn’t acted upon it.
Derdiu Hereau, Other, Sammamish , WA, USA says
Thank You for say this!
Dereck Tubbs, Medicine, Lattmer, OK, USA says
I had 27 arteries and veins erupted in my head I have short term and long term memory loss smoking been helping me out alot
Dierdra Maurek, Health Education, West Chester, PA, USA says
I am a parent of a person suffering from this physical response to trauma. I
Would love more tools to help my child regain her light and resilience. I understand this reading and see this manifestation. I am unsure if I should just support-in the moment and help ground my loved one through her surroundings?
Ann Hamilton, Another Field, Stillwater, ME, USA says
My daughter was hit by an OUI driver as she was walking on a sidewalk. She spent weeks in ICU, and is recovering. By the grace of God she is still alive. I am using this information to better help her short- and long-term recovery process. Thank you for sharing this. If there is any further information you can help me with, I would greatly appreciate anything you could send my way. Email me at mustangrunann@hotmail.com. Thank you.
Lesley Pszkit, Psychotherapy, GB says
Interesting. Music Also triggers memorie from past
Su Rule, Other, AU says
I teach tai chi & qigong. An important aspect of these practices is for people to let their mind sink into the sensations of their bodies: noticing where they have pain or blockages, feeling and watching energy flow, soft focus on clearing – relaxing in the body, mind still. Eventually, we find we are using this centering in daily life – to connect with our body, ground ourselves, shifting focus and clearing the mind. It helps…
Lesley Pszkit, Psychotherapy, GB says
Definately. Mind body and spirlit
Elle Stübe, Psychotherapy, AU says
As a somatically trained trauma therapist I agree that it is key to include the embodied experience – however the above does not adequately outline how connecting people to their embodied experience can also be extremely triggering and dangerous for people with significant trauma histories and this needs to be done very skilfully, within a longstanding relationship of trust and that the therapist themselves needs to have good regulation, embodied awareness and so on to be a safe, regulating other for this process.
Shane Knochel, Other, Hallettsville , TX, USA says
Hello my name is Shane I have been for years trying to figure out what can actually help me learn how to live with my anxiety and schizo effective bi polar disorder and am currently trying to work on some marital issues with my wife who 3 to almost 4 years ago emotionally cheated on me with someone I thought was my best friend at time and she claims that it was only emotional thru texting and messenger but I still for one don’t believe her when she said it was only thru internet or phone that they cheated on me for at least a year or better and her spending the night at his house when she would go see her family which I found out later she had spent several weekends staying at his place on the couch I’m really trying to find help if not to help our marriage at least for me so I will quit having all these outbursts of rage and hatred towards her for what they had done I collect only disability check of about 600$ a month but will be back to work after taking care of nerves in my neck and then will be able to afford to pay for help with these issues is there a recommendation you can give me or I fragment of light at the end of the tunnel that you can refer me to for help please any suggestions would be very appreciated and helpful cuz taking pills helps little bit if not prescribed wrong medication for my issues or not being over dosed with scripts that don’t help or make me feel like a zombie and not remembering day to day what I did or didn’t do please if you can help guide me in right direction I really need the help thank you I’m exhausted trying to figure out what is or is not helping I don’t know where to start anymore or where to look . Ps sorry for the lack of punctuation but that’s about how fried my brain feels like looking for help and knowing anymore what is I guess reality and not reality and who I can trust or not trust anymore I seriously find myself questioning every relationship family or friends or even my wife
Susi Huxtable, Coach, IE says
Shane I can see you are struggling a great deal with what has happened and I too was in that situation where I was betrayed in a close relationship. It takes a lot of time to rebuild trust – but that cannot be done if the person is not prepared to own up to what they have done and communicate honestly. I trained in rapid transformational therapy and I highly recommend you look for a practitioner where you are, it is not like other therapies. It was developed by Marisa Peer you can look her up on youtube and get some free webinars which may inspire you to go further. All the best
Shane Knochel, Other, Hallettsville , TX, USA says
Thank you susi I really appreciate the advice and referral of where to start from here this email about what trauma and PTSD are in more detail explaining the difference and similarities are and that in more detailed information already gives me definite insight and hope and understanding that I will find my way to the light at the end of the tunnel of the whirlwind of extremely mixed thoughts and emotions which come to a head more often than way more than they should will eventually come to a stop and gives me even more hope and faith that I will be able to get under control and can live a happy life and love living life again and I may actually be able to find my unconditional love for my kids and with prayers and faith to god might be able to save my marriage and maybe even have a deeper stronger love for my wife and my 4 babygirls and stop this cycle of emotional abuse towards them which doesn’t exactly help the whirlwind of racing thoughts that like the email explains when they happen feel as if it’s never going to stop I thank you again from my heart I really do appreciate the advice and I thank God that I got the email to begin with thank you so much ?
Beulah Armstead, Other, Fredericksburg, VA, USA says
I was in an abusive relationship when my youngest son was little found out he was severely abusing my son and some other things happened in his life because of people I trusted how can I help my son he is out of control and on drugs ilove him and want him to be happy
Dierdra Maurek, Health Education, West Chester, PA, USA says
I am a parent of a person suffering from this physical response to trauma. I
Would love more tools to help my child regain her light and resilience. I understand this reading and see this manifestation. I am unsure if I should just support-in the moment and help ground my loved one through her surroundings?
Brenda Walsh, Student, AU says
Wnderful
Bonnie Fleckenstein, Counseling, Austin, TX, USA says
I am a LPC-intern and am continuing to heal from my trauma. I want to help others as I’ve received help myself.