Working With Your Client’s Traumatic Memories
with Bessel van der Kolk, MD
and Ruth Buczynski, PhD
Sometimes we remember what seem like the smallest, most insignificant details of our lives – an 8th grade locker combination, a story heard at a party years ago, or all the lines from a favorite movie.
These memories – full of facts, words, and events – are explicit memories.
But there are different kinds of memories – ones that are evoked by sights, sounds, or even smells.
For example, the smell of coffee percolating atop a gas stove could bring back Sunday afternoons around the table with beloved grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
On the other hand, being surprised by the scent of a particular aftershave, for instance, could elicit feelings of fear, panic, or even terror.
A person who was traumatized as a child might re-experience the all-too-familiar sensations of quivering in fear or breaking out in a cold sweat.
And it may have very little to do with the verbal thought process of, “Oh, this reminds me of the incident of my father hitting me.”
Traumatic memory is formed and stored very differently than everyday memory.
So let’s take a closer look at what happens when a person experiences trauma.
What Happens When the Brain Can’t Process Trauma
Dr. Van der Kolk: If a person was abused as a child, the brain can become wired to believe, “I’m a person to whom terrible things happen, and I better be on the alert for who’s going to hurt me now.”
Those are conscious thoughts that become stored in a very elementary part of the brain.
But what happens to adults when they become traumatized by something terrible they’ve experienced?
Simply put, the brain becomes overwhelmed. That’s because the thalamus shuts down and the entire picture of what happened can’t be stored in their brain.
So instead of forming specific memories of the full event, people who have been traumatized remember images, sights, sounds, and physical sensations without much context.
And certain sensations just become triggers of the past.
You see, the brain continually forms maps of the world – maps of what is safe and what is dangerous.
That’s how the brain becomes wired. People carry an internal map of who they are in relationship to the world. That becomes their memory system, but it’s not a known memory system like that of verbal memories.
It’s an implicit memory system.
What that means is that a particular traumatic incident may not be remembered as a story of something that’s happened a long time ago. Instead, it gets triggered by sensations that people are experiencing in the present that can activate their emotional states.
It’s a much more elementary, organic level of a single sensation triggering the state of fear.
A person might keep thinking about the sensation and say, “Oh, this must be because it reminds me of the time that my father hit me.”
But that’s not the connection that the mind makes at that particular time.
How the Lack of Context Impacts Treatment
So what difference will it make in our work, knowing that a traumatic memory was encoded without context?
It’s important to recognize that PTSD, or the experience of trauma is not about the past. It’s about a body that continues to behave and organize itself as if the experience is happening right now.
When we’re working with people who have been traumatized, it’s crucial to help them learn how to field the present as it is and to tolerate whatever goes on. The past is only relevant in as far as it stirs up current sensations, feelings, emotions and thoughts.
The story about the past is just a story that people tell to explain how bad the trauma was, or why they have certain behaviors.
But the real issue is that trauma changes people. They feel different and experience certain sensations differently.
That’s why the main focus of therapy needs to be helping people shift their internal experience or, in other words, how the trauma is lodged inside them.
How Talking Can Distract a Client from Feeling
Now, in helping people learn to stay with their sensations, we need to resist the temptation to ask them to talk about their experience and what they’re aware of.
This is because talking can convey a defense against feeling.
Through the use of brain imagery, we’ve learned that when people are feeling something very deeply, one particular area of the brain lights up.
And we’ve seen other images taken when people are beginning to talk about their trauma and, when they do, another part of the brain lights up.
So talking can be a distraction from helping patients notice what is going on within themselves.
And that’s why some of the best therapy is very largely non-verbal, where the main task of the therapist is to help people to feel what they feel - to notice what they notice, to see how things flow within themselves, and to reestablish their sense of time inside.
Why Restoring the Sense of Time Can Make Emotions More Bearable
All too often, when people feel traumatized, their bodies can feel like they’re under threat even if it’s a beautiful day and they’re in no particular danger.
So our task becomes helping people to feel those feelings of threat, and to just notice how the feelings go away as time goes on.
The body never stays the same because the body is always in a state of flux.
It’s important to help a patient learn that, when a sensation comes up, it’s okay to have it because something else will come next.
This is one way we can help patients re-establish this sense of time which gets destroyed by the trauma.
Sensations and emotions become intolerable for clients because they think, “This will never come to an end.”
But once a patient knows that something will come to an end, their whole attitude changes.
Now we'd like to hear from you. How will you use these ideas on traumatic memory in your work with your patients?
Please leave a comment below.
Mary Jha, Teacher, CA says
Too real REAL.. And without words..#!!!
Stacy Suinn, Nursing, Lakewood , WA, USA says
I had all symptoms of incest, went thru trained therapist..memories, forgv, did art represents meaning..all the healing work..thinking i could heal from dislike of penis..dad. i declare im a lesbian now, left spouse, the forgiveness didn’t change who im comfortable with sexually. The past trauma did an imprint permanent to change my sexual preference. I don’t hate men, i dislike the snake like penis n imprint of where I’d been touched, forced, raped, molested as very young child of 2.
NORA GILBERT, Nursing, Girard, PA, USA says
I have had way more than my share of trauma in my life. The major thing I’ve learned from all that is there is more to come so I have to let this present trauma go to prepare my body for the next one and I’m always right there is more to come! My main drug of choice to deal with all of it was prayer! Surprisingly it has work up until now! At age 70 it is becoming harder and harder only because the trauma keeps coming faster and faster and fighting what I now know is evil forces is becoming quite challenging only because I’m loosing the physical strength to fight what sometimes happens daily! Just fighting old age in itself is a battle let alone outside forces being thrown at you! Someone in the medical field dealing in trauma who has Christian values needs to set up a site where other Christians can have a prayer ? group that involves the whole international community so others who deal in this kind of trauma can finally get some relief!! I know some may think I’m crazy but I assure you I am not that far gone!! Not yet but close id say! It is so damn hard to fight that force by yourself!
Mary Jha, Health Education, CA says
I have the same journey and am 71..
dawn jinks, Counseling, CA says
how do you help a client who has a healthy understanding that the sensations and emotions will come to an end but sufferers so much during that short time they are fearful of its return and are always hyper-vigilant.
Thanks.
Irene Oloughlin, Another Field, GB says
Very interesting read and can relate. Emotion is a important feeing and we tend to ignore our emotions suppress them, laughs it off or pretend its not really. So theoretical need to help people connect with there feelings and run with them, its okay to feel because it good not bad. To explore and release knowing they are safe.
Mary Jha, Nursing, CA says
Yes I agree
Stephanie McLaughlin, Student, Lakewood, WA, USA says
I had trauma that happened when I was 4. But I didn’t realize, this happend to me. So then when I 15, I started to deal with it. Still dealing with this. But the older you get the more people dont want to hear you. I left sighns to my grandma and my mom and they didn’t hear them. Or maybe it was that old brush it under the rug way. If you dont see it, it will go away.
Stephanie Walters, Another Field, Lakewood, WA, USA says
How can I relive something over and over and change how I feel about it. I can see the trauma in my head. But the actions never change. Why? The trauma never changes.
Carol Smith, Coach, Cheatham , TN, USA says
Very informational article. I now understand it does help not to interrupt anyone talking about, a traumatic experience. Time is an asset to healing. Amongst other factors. Thank you very much.
Fiona Ryland, Counseling, NZ says
I will use it by allowing my client to feel what’s happening in the now in order to over time watch how it decreases as they understand the feeling in order to find how to shift the feeling. Stay away from talking the trauma in the therapy room so to not bring distraction from what’s going on
Heather Nichols, Other, Columbia, MO, USA says
I am not a therapist or psychiatrist. I see a psychiatrist though. I have been through trama I can’t get passed and I’m going through a trauma now that seems never ending. I don’t know how to cope I just want to die. Nothing in my life has ever gotten better. It never will.
Juliana Capulet, Student, AQ says
I was extremely traumatized in multiple ways and thought it would never end, but forty years later it has gotten better. So, believe it will get better and continue with your good healing. <3
Kim Alexander, Other, Vernal, UT, USA says
My 17 year old daughter died from pneumonia in 2006 it is along time ago but it is still as hard today as it was then for me and for my other 2 children that are adults now and have their own family’s I wish I could help them because it still has a very large impact on their lives today
Manon Owen, Other, GB says
Non- verbal is definately good. I was in psychiatric unit for years. Nobody did this. All the doctors and staff were verbal all the time, wanted me to describe or explain everything to them. It was horrendous. It felt like it didn’t matter how many times you tried to explain, nobody understood anyway. And it brought back the memories over and over again. If this had been practise there maybe I could have recovered better from trauma.
Jackie Payter, Occupational Therapy, GB says
How I feel for you and the the utter despair you are going through.
I lost my son and had a similar experience with my blood family.
When the people you need are emotionally unavailable that feels like another bereavement
The way I coped was leaning on the people that did care about me and helped me through
I wish I could tell you that it gets easier but it doesn’t.
You create a new normal and a different life continuing to move forward but with new priorities…be with the people who want to be with you just because they call themselves family doesn’t mean you owe them anything do not doubt this…
For your own peace of mind walk away from the toxic relationships when you needed them they were a no show…at the worst time of your life they showed their true colours.
Take care of you your physical mental and emotional health
Hang in there ..your son would want you to be living your life.
Hope this helps
Lisa Kauls, Teacher, Fresno, CA, USA says
I lost my only child, my 17 year old son on June 24, 2018 to gun violence. He was minding his own business when a car came up to him and a friend and tried to tob them my son ran and the guy shot him in the back of the head. That is one of many traumatic experiences. The second is when i received the phone call from the sheriff informing me that my son was “grazed” by a bullet HE LIED. Then when I got to the hospital ( the sheriff told to go) they said they had no one by that name and made me wait in the hospital parking lot for 5 hours until they would let me see my son. By then he was in ICU. Then I had to endure the pain of removing him from life support 4 days later. From the time I got to hospital room to the time we left the hospital 4 days later I can’t remember much. When I try to ask questions my family gets upset. Here comes the next part of trans. My father leaves the day before my sons funeral says he has a previous commitment. My sister while here made it a vacation for her and her family by visiting friends and going out with them instead of spending the time with me. My mom just really doesn’t want me around when I try to ask questions about time we were at the hospital she gets an attitude with me , not to mention the of the incident she wanted me to pull over and let her out of the car she was worried about herself she said there’s nothing wrong with my son she didn’t want to waste time in the er she said there’s always such a long wait. Any way that’s just some of the trama. I’m at the point where I just can’t take the pain of missing my son and wanting him back. I feel there really is nothing for me here. My family clearly doesn’t care my other sister said she would come and be here with me but chose to go on vacation instead. This whole first year not one family member had been here for me. Not to mention I have to relive this horrible event over and over while going through the justic system and the court process which the victims have no rights well any that matter. I can’t stay focused I’m definitely not the person I used to be . How can you help me?
Machele B, Other, Tarboro , NC, USA says
Hi Lisa I am so so sorry what happen! I just want you to know that I love you! Don’t give up! God be with you! Stay strong!
NORA GILBERT, Nursing, Girard, PA, USA says
This is exactly what I was talking about as far as trauma is concerned! Some people I had worked for when I was younger said I should write a book! I told them I would but no one would believe me! You live in a similar hell though your hell is the only one I know in my heart I could never deal with! So that in itself makes you one of GODS chosen ones! Your loss for a woman is the worst loss u can go through! Now you’ve experienced GODS GREATEST LOSS! I know it seems your family ran like scared chickens and they did! They couldn’t help you because they were too week to even help themselves! They faked everything to run! Some day you’ll be able to forgive them! You must for yourself forgive them! It’s a healing thing! If You don’t have GOD IN YOUR Life U NEED HIM VERY BADLY! No need to go to church to talk but you need people who are believers to help you and you need to attend a group of people who have lost a child! If you love GOD he’ll give you the way to take baby steps to heal again and again! I made a pact with GOD years ago to not give me that cross to carry that him and now you are carrying! Told him to give me anything but don’t give me that! Well so far he has kept our bargain! I have6children,13 grandchildren,and so far one great grandson! Yes I have all this but at age 70 I can swear to you that trauma is now become an almost daily thing! Your child is at peace with GOD! Mine are sometimes my cause of trauma and they themselves suffer almost daily trauma along with me! Now I can’t say that I’m still glad he keeps his bargain because I’m loosing my fight and the battle keeps getting harder and harder. Your battle ,once you realize he is now forever safe, will be over as far as this one goes! Now he must wait for you!!Talk to him and tell him how much you love him and believe me he will hear you and so will GOD!!
Jennifer Jones, Another Field, los angeles , CA, USA says
So horrific!!! My heart goes out to you. I pray you get the love and support you need and deserve. So sorry you and your beloved son had this experience. May God send comfort your way. ❤️❤️❤️??????
Deborah Heshmatpasand, Counseling, GB says
I lost my 32 year old son on 7/9/18…I am getting bad anxiety along with fear ,has days go by I am feeling worse missing his presence, touch ,smell an voice my heart is broken an I am numb ,I need to get better I have a daughter who needs me she has bipolar and misses her brother,my mum bless her is broken, I have a sister who is in bits but she has a 15 year old son who misses his cousin an a little girl 9yrs who has issues so I have people around who love me an I them ,I am going to read this again an hope it helps me,
Thank you…
Betty Diyle, Counseling, IE says
I was sexually and physically abuse by my father it all began when I was three months old. I lose my mother at the age of 3 years old to his violence. I was also raped by my babysitter at the age of 6 and by the age of 9 I could no long live like constant fear and the abuse was getting more violent. So I left my home went to live with my father sister and she mentally abuse me. I have spent years making my body ill to get out of here, because I could comment suicide because if I didn’t do it right that would give them what I thought the wanted was to say I was mad. So I went into heal myself do a lot of different types of healing found me and now I have the most beautiful life I have created for myself and I can handle my demons of my past better because it’s my life blessings to all of our journeys
Carrie Moser, Social Work, Lincoln , NE, USA says
Working with women in residential substance abuse houses, I deal with this on a daily basis. Having suffered some traumatic events in my own life, this has given me more insight why my reactions sometimes seem out of place. I will have more patience with myself and the ladies I work with in the future.
Thank you for sharing! ?
Stephanie Hamilton, Another Field, GB says
Really interesting……explains why EFT and EMDR seem to work so well.
Janet Hensey, Nursing, GB says
My 13 year old has been experiencing flash backs and nightmares since we found her father dead at home. Can you recommend treatment please?
Donna Stovall, Other, Nashville, AR, USA says
I was sexually, emotionally and verbally abused as a child. Then as an adult I suffered constant verbal, mental and emotional abuse from my mother. It been going on over 40 years. My family chose to believe my mother can do no wrong. My mother even went so far as to tell others that there was nothing wrong with me when I was diagnosed as having a brain tumor. After having a fifteen hour long surgery to remove baseball size tumor from my head. Being blind in my right eye. Tumor destroyed the nerves to my eye. But she still said nothing wrong with me. Even tried to deny me the Dr. prescribed medication to help me to heal.
NORA GILBERT, Nursing, Girard, PA, USA says
You need to distance yourself from that atrocity you believe is your Mother right away! There is no way possible that woman is your mother! No loving mother would treat their child in that horrible manner! She’s a straight up demon! She works for Satan and not GOD!
Wendy Willia, Coach, GB says
I am a Mental Health Professional. I work with Employers to listen to Staff affected by Mental Health conditions and I would like to know more. I have found this very informative.
Thanks
Tracy McDonald, Another Field, Wisc Dells, WI, USA says
I don’t know how I would help a patient with the knowledge of me trying to deal with PTSD. When things started becoming unbearable for me to deal, I went on to being a drug addict using everyday for over a year. I didn’t talk about anything however I always felt stuck, alone, afraid and no where to turn, run or a path to a better road. Sometimes I still feel out of place and a no way out situation.
Marie Bowdley, Other, IE says
I to suffer PTSD I’m 53 and I have been trauma from the age of 3 I have had to move country to try and survive I live thru trauma everyday I rarely go out only hospital appointments thru trauma the only thing about were I use to live is my baby girls grave will continue to read this every day
Catherine Carton, Another Field, Amelia, OH, USA says
My 6 yr older sister, who was the size of kids 8 years older, physically assaulted me my entire childhood till when I was 17 and I was planning to go to college. My mother would have tantrums over things to do with her OCPD so I was used as a whipping post, so to speak.
Even though once I started remembering my childhood when I was 60 yrs old, it seems like it happened 5 yrs ago but I think you want people like me to be more confident that it was over 40 years ago.
Korina De r, Another Field, CA says
Where does one get help
Janet Mott, Social Work, Rockland, ME, USA says
If I had the opportunity to meet ANYONE in the world, it would be Bessel van der Kolk. He is brilliant and his book “The Body Keeps the Score,” changed my life and gave me so many answers I had been seeking for so long!
Melita Hitchens, Another Field, Anderson , IN, USA says
Same here. I have been able to make a lot of positive changes in my life since reading his book. It also gave me clear lens to look through when engaging with others. He is a true genius in my opinion.
Onie Cleary, Other, CA says
I like the commitment to seeing through the ordinary.
Wanece Ramsey, Other, 23837, VA, USA says
I am a caregiver of a tbi 35 yr old girl. My daughter with a Master’sin Counseling. Short term memory very damaged. I believe thru science and her doctor, this will not happen to her. I would love, however, any suggestions, support, or rehabs available. This happened in 2008 and they gave 10 years for improvements. otherwise, she is very high functioning. Love any help available. Thank you..
Evette Coombs-Vaz, Another Field, GB says
This is for me. I have been through a lot for the last 9 years, my life has been like a lightbulb gone off in my head. Everything that you have mentioned is true. I have to tend to myself before I can help the next patient when I return back to work.
Carron Cossens, Other, NZ says
Thank you
danja turley, Other, Rome, GA, USA says
ive delt w child and adult trama and im glad someone understands how i feel every second i hide behind a smile calm on the outside screaming within
CAROLINE McGACHAN, Another Field, GB says
I found this very interesting, my partner has had a traumatic brain injury, he is recovering at last thank goodness, but whenever the accident is talked about he tells it a different way each time, even though it has been explained to him what did happen, he does not seem to want to believe that version. He is now being allowed home visits and that has brought him on greatly, but he does still have the not so good days at times, where he gets very frustrated if he is contradicted, even if what he is saying is wrong, especially about what day it is for instance.
andrea grover, Other, GB says
I had a traumatic experience when I was 18 and it has stayed with me and until I read this I did not realise that I might have post traumatic stress disorder. When this traumatic thing happens it also triggers me to have a brake down and be diagnosed with bipolar thank you Andrea x
Victor Stevens, Another Field, Ocklawaha, FL, USA says
I have trauma from a child being beat till I was 14 then threw out of home because of standing up for myself then raped brutality objects also then given a drug by a young lady 2015 I killed myself as a result I’m n need of some real.help like this I have no one to talk of this too
Thank u very much
Victor Stevens
Susan Jergens, Psychotherapy, Santa Rosa, CA, USA says
Dear victor,
I can hear your pain. Please call the national suicide prevention hot line NOW. Look up the number for your area. They are wonderful, compassionate people that can help you get the resources you need.
Blessings
Danielle Ro, Another Field, Tacoma , WA, USA says
You mentioned talking can be distracting for patients. This makes perfect sense but I wonder about writing. If a patient was to write about the incident, would this cause the brain to stay lit up in the same area? Or what about drawing?
Thank you
Sandra Rawenata, Social Work, NZ says
I am constantly reminded of the use of mindfulness to observe reactions -without judgement- what is happening, while “in’ the moment and letting go. it takes time to get comfortable enough to do it properly.
Trauma is one of the drivers for many of the the world’s ills -addiction, threats to mental wellness, suicide, homelessness and displacement.
This article is a good reminder that although the mind may have forgotten what happened, your body will not. Acknowledging this,alongside sensory modulation and counselling with therapy will help.
Sally Amit, Supervisor, Las Vegas, AZ, USA says
OMG! I been killing myself thinking that something was really off about me? I just learned that it’s not my fault that I’m so afraid of life!!! I’ve tried to kill myself 2 and I can’t let go of the past! And I have seen more than a couple of therapist psychiatrist. Paid one of them 3 hundred for one hour! Did he helped me? No he gave me pils and I think he was a joke! I need to go back and see someone for this fear, depression, and anxiety.I don’t trust anyone and my X husband is a narcissist so I was all ready kind of weak and he just damage me more! Never saw him as a narcissist he would take me to the dr.cuzi needed to be normal? Over 20 years and I only got sicker? Thank you ?
Wendy Willia, Coach, GB says
I was also married to a Narcissist. He broke me down mentally and emotionally abused me for 10 years. I feel your pain. You are not alone. You are meant to live and although you have experienced horrific times throughout your life, it will improve and you are strong enough to survive. There is hope and a way of turning your life and mental well-being around xx???
Chris Me, Other, Levittown , PA, USA says
Very interesting. Straight and to the point. Sometimes that’s the best way to get through to someone. Don’t dugsr coat it, say it like it is or tell them the truth. The truth hurts for a second but when it finally sinks in; what a wonderful feeling. Being free from things that have been hurting you finally have no power. Changing ones perception is awesome!!!
Nora, Nursing, Girard, PA, USA says
According to the Bible the truth shall set you free! It’s been my motto since I was old enough to understand it! I always felt that telling the truth may hurt you but that was your problem to deal with not mine no matter how bad it may hurt you! Then I became a mother and feared my honesty might harm them in some way so I kept the harmful truth telling to myself! Now as a grandmother I became emotionally spent and started suffering from a sleep disorder! One daughter took me to a sleep specialist and I was put on a medication that , low and behold, brought back my truth telling condition which freaked all my other children out! Lol! Now they must deal with a woman who isn’t their mother! Now I tell the truth to stay free! Free to tell them what I think even though it may hurt their feelings! Some want the old me back! I tell them that their the ones who wouldn’t leave me alone to get my beauty sleep so now they must deal with an old ,nasty,bitchy ,wrinkled up, truth telling I don’t care if you don’t like me old hag!!
Elizabeth Bayliss, Counseling, NZ says
These ideas are not new to me. I increasingly offer clients the opportunity to engage in mindfulness meditation and teach diaphragmatic breathing to assist them to stay with the feeling and notice its passing or change. Clients who have had many years of counselling have told me noone has ever suggested a focus on breathing, observing, non judgement and curiosity. Relaxation achieved through this process they have found healing.
Bryonie Foster, Other, AU says
STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL….I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY TRUE NAME OR IDENTITY TO BE PUBLICLY SHARED. IF YOU WISH TO SHARE, PLEASE USE A FICTITIOUS NAME IE. MAREE MASON.
MY My past life traumas are constantly being added to year after year, month after month by new traumatic situations that just keep happening which I have little or no control over. My trauma “mess” pile is so huge now I’m collapsing under the weight. Over the years I’ve developed multiple avoidance strategies to deal with day to day living. My life has become so complicated, I’m absolutely exhausted with so many areas that need addressing from huge legal battles, finding the energy let alone the required intestinal fortitude to tackle my huge pile that now surrounds me on all life corners.
Beverley Brown, Another Field, CA says
As a Massage Therapist, I have noticed mental/emotional/physical trauma can all show up in the soft tissue of the body. Every day is different for the person experiencing. .. the case history is crutial. It lets me know where the mind is focusing today. Then we work together to give them a treatment that works for them today. 100% honesty is needed about how they feel with the pressure applied to the soft tissue of the back arms legs. If the pressure is good is anything else going on like a headache started or sensations of pain/tingling/numbness somewhere the individual is not being touched. Are those sensations lessening or becoming worse. Any nausea? ? Communication & honesty imperative to better health & wellbeing.
Emily Crabtree, Nursing, Ogden, UT, USA says
I have recently began going through Neuro Emotional Therapy (NET). This is a body based therapy focused on relieving trauma, even trauma you didn’t know your body carries because the emotions are dissociated. The areas hit on in this article are followed by this therapy perfectly. I am a psychiatric nurse working on my Master’s of Nurse Practitioner. NET is supported by science as an effective therapy and there are unbiased peer reviewed studies available for review regarding that efficacy.
Jonathan Torres, Another Field, Bronx, NY, USA says
How can you guys help me
Emily Crabtree, Nursing, Ogden , UT, USA says
What diagnosis or traumas have you dealt with? The first step is learning that and getting referred to the therapy to address it correctly. Therapeutic services are available at low or no cost through government resources to help you heal.
T Tillery, Another Field, Vandalia , MI, USA says
I need to know more. I feel like this article describes me. But dont know where or when this traumatic event occurred
samina raja, Other, GB says
I LOVE TO WORK
Claire Johnston, Another Field, GB says
I still suffer ptsd from when I was victimized by gangsters and my ex partners father. I try and do mindfulness and go to the gym to give me positive emotions. I still worry about the future and dwell in the past.Can’t get rid of my guilty feelings towards my ex partner and have no confidence or self esteem because of him . I know I am not a bad person but I am still hating myself for the bad things I have done. I wish I could turn the clock back to when I was 17 I am 45 now. I worry all the time .I wish I could stop taking speed but I am physically I’ll without it need medication. I make the most of my life although it’s empty and lonely.
Cheryl Gonza, Medicine, Spencer , NE, USA says
I was abused child lots of physical abuse then at age 34 I was shot in home invasion 5 time no chance of walking or talking I left my body and wondered for I thought a bit and I saw many things that changed my perspective but I have lost so much memories a 10 year gap and more
NORA GILBERT, Nursing, Girard, PA, USA says
Oh sweetie you should write everything down on what you saw or heard! You were given such a gift and you know for a fact that this happened to you! You could help so many other people by telling your story!
Samantha Hardy, Other, AU says
Plenty of people I know
Or whom I’ve met..
Have suffured trauma..
I myself have suffured trauma.
I loved reading this article…
This really helped explain what happens…when someone is triggered…or when in my case I am triggered, or I have a flashback..
I myself am Bi Polar…type 2
But I have noticed in the last 3years…
I have trouble remembering what I did..3days..a week…
Even a month ago….
I find it troubling on some occasions even frightening…
I just hope and pray…
I can some how improve that area of my brain…
Sincerely
Samantha Hardy
heavenlypleasures78@gmail.com
Louise Starr, Health Education, AU says
Don’t rush for the tissue box. It’s ok to have tears and cry. Just have them available in the room. Validate the emotional release and not bottling up feelings. Sit quietly in calmness while they compose themselves and acknowledge the transactions that occurred and passed.
Janet Sao-Mafiti, Social Work, NZ says
Thank you I received it. Really interesting and I’m willing to try out with clients I support who has TBI. Thanks. Janet
Kathryn McElwee, Another Field, GB says
I found my husband dead from hanging. Had to cut him down.that was four years ago this Christmas. I still get flashbacks of his face. Kate scotland
Katie Lopez, Coach, Richmond, CA, USA says
Kate,
Im so very sorry @ your husband. How terriable.
Just sending you some ❤ hugs right now.
Katie
Georgina A, Stress Management, AU says
So sorry you had to go through that Kathryn! A shocking event for you, you poor thing!??????????
Tamara Nelson, Other, Amarillo, TX, USA says
How do i help myself in a productive way being homeless? I want to better myself but it seems that i rise to fall.
Emily Crabtree, Nursing, Ogden , UT, USA says
Please look into therapies available to the public free of charge in your area. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) can completely change your life through a set of behavioral skills aimed at managing negative emotions and controlling unproductive impulsive actions. I first found DBT offered through the state free of charge 10 years ago.