Working With Your Client’s Traumatic Memories
with Bessel van der Kolk, MD
and Ruth Buczynski, PhD
Sometimes we remember what seem like the smallest, most insignificant details of our lives – an 8th grade locker combination, a story heard at a party years ago, or all the lines from a favorite movie.
These memories – full of facts, words, and events – are explicit memories.
But there are different kinds of memories – ones that are evoked by sights, sounds, or even smells.
For example, the smell of coffee percolating atop a gas stove could bring back Sunday afternoons around the table with beloved grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
On the other hand, being surprised by the scent of a particular aftershave, for instance, could elicit feelings of fear, panic, or even terror.
A person who was traumatized as a child might re-experience the all-too-familiar sensations of quivering in fear or breaking out in a cold sweat.
And it may have very little to do with the verbal thought process of, “Oh, this reminds me of the incident of my father hitting me.”
Traumatic memory is formed and stored very differently than everyday memory.
So let’s take a closer look at what happens when a person experiences trauma.
What Happens When the Brain Can’t Process Trauma
Dr. Van der Kolk: If a person was abused as a child, the brain can become wired to believe, “I’m a person to whom terrible things happen, and I better be on the alert for who’s going to hurt me now.”
Those are conscious thoughts that become stored in a very elementary part of the brain.
But what happens to adults when they become traumatized by something terrible they’ve experienced?
Simply put, the brain becomes overwhelmed. That’s because the thalamus shuts down and the entire picture of what happened can’t be stored in their brain.
So instead of forming specific memories of the full event, people who have been traumatized remember images, sights, sounds, and physical sensations without much context.
And certain sensations just become triggers of the past.
You see, the brain continually forms maps of the world – maps of what is safe and what is dangerous.
That’s how the brain becomes wired. People carry an internal map of who they are in relationship to the world. That becomes their memory system, but it’s not a known memory system like that of verbal memories.
It’s an implicit memory system.
What that means is that a particular traumatic incident may not be remembered as a story of something that’s happened a long time ago. Instead, it gets triggered by sensations that people are experiencing in the present that can activate their emotional states.
It’s a much more elementary, organic level of a single sensation triggering the state of fear.
A person might keep thinking about the sensation and say, “Oh, this must be because it reminds me of the time that my father hit me.”
But that’s not the connection that the mind makes at that particular time.
How the Lack of Context Impacts Treatment
So what difference will it make in our work, knowing that a traumatic memory was encoded without context?
It’s important to recognize that PTSD, or the experience of trauma is not about the past. It’s about a body that continues to behave and organize itself as if the experience is happening right now.
When we’re working with people who have been traumatized, it’s crucial to help them learn how to field the present as it is and to tolerate whatever goes on. The past is only relevant in as far as it stirs up current sensations, feelings, emotions and thoughts.
The story about the past is just a story that people tell to explain how bad the trauma was, or why they have certain behaviors.
But the real issue is that trauma changes people. They feel different and experience certain sensations differently.
That’s why the main focus of therapy needs to be helping people shift their internal experience or, in other words, how the trauma is lodged inside them.
How Talking Can Distract a Client from Feeling
Now, in helping people learn to stay with their sensations, we need to resist the temptation to ask them to talk about their experience and what they’re aware of.
This is because talking can convey a defense against feeling.
Through the use of brain imagery, we’ve learned that when people are feeling something very deeply, one particular area of the brain lights up.
And we’ve seen other images taken when people are beginning to talk about their trauma and, when they do, another part of the brain lights up.
So talking can be a distraction from helping patients notice what is going on within themselves.
And that’s why some of the best therapy is very largely non-verbal, where the main task of the therapist is to help people to feel what they feel - to notice what they notice, to see how things flow within themselves, and to reestablish their sense of time inside.
Why Restoring the Sense of Time Can Make Emotions More Bearable
All too often, when people feel traumatized, their bodies can feel like they’re under threat even if it’s a beautiful day and they’re in no particular danger.
So our task becomes helping people to feel those feelings of threat, and to just notice how the feelings go away as time goes on.
The body never stays the same because the body is always in a state of flux.
It’s important to help a patient learn that, when a sensation comes up, it’s okay to have it because something else will come next.
This is one way we can help patients re-establish this sense of time which gets destroyed by the trauma.
Sensations and emotions become intolerable for clients because they think, “This will never come to an end.”
But once a patient knows that something will come to an end, their whole attitude changes.
Now we'd like to hear from you. How will you use these ideas on traumatic memory in your work with your patients?
Please leave a comment below.
Charlotte Hammonf, Nursing, GB says
I was a nurse with both general and psychiatric registered training. I also have mental health issues in my family so am interested Instretching my own brain health.
Marilyn peltonen, Nursing, AU says
And how do you do that?
Jackie Kretzschmar, Other, Milwaukee, WI, USA says
Truths jumped out to me. With the truth came hope. Thank you..
Jamie, Nursing, Tipp City , OH, USA says
I’m a parent, wife, educator, mother, grandmother, counselor, sister, friend, mentor, leader.
Aren’t we all dealing with clients who blame others for their problems; including ourselves?
I know I used to blame my abusers at times when I was learning to cope; when I was in victim mode. Now that I am in Survivor mode, I am thankful for all those types of people and situations prepared me for in this life!
Tracy williams, Marriage/Family Therapy, Wenham , MA, USA says
Where do I go to get therapy?
Ellen, Teacher, GB says
So what does this therapy include, how can one access it, etc?
Katherine Azjan, Nursing, AU says
I listen and try to keep an open mind without judging. I notice their posture tone inflection what they say or don’t say their eye contact which part of their body is tensed twitching or shaking how they hold their body. I listen without interrupting with minimal verbal encouragers and use a soft tone and warm gaze leaning in or crouching down, accompanying them as they experience and express their feelings unhurriedly
Kimi, Nursing, Ormond Beach , FL, USA says
Awesome! I do the same…and have done for years… when not in trauma mode, I teach breathing exercises and for those that can see me, they mirror how i breathe… those that can not see can touch my chest or feel my breath to learn it… when they enter trauma mode, they have the tools ready… so, the goal is to mirror my breathing… they talk, i do not…
Helen, Other, GB says
Advise to forgive and forget
Judy, Nursing, AU says
Good insight as to how the brain works and reacts TJ different events especially trauma.. too many lives are do terribly affected life long over events of trauma .. any information so helps!
As you say we all deal with it different depending on different past exposures and general life experiences!
Listening is the greatest tool I use
Not judging is another
Not writing a rule book on fixing it another
As with trauma or grief .. it all takes time .. time to process .. time to work through.. .. on your own …at your own pace.. and in time if you struggle individually under direct supervision of those qualified to deal with it !
Under no circumstances what ever thd traumatic see troubled by are you a failure .. it’s sinply beyond your ability to process as the damage down has caused severe physical changes within your body as a result ! It’s not that you are weak in character or nature .. it’s your body s self protecting mechanism I see it as kicking in to prevent any further cascade !
People who have been traumatized need love and support and no judgement.. I always say .. don’t talk the talk if you have never been the one to walk the walk.. not a truer statement..you may have experienced similar but never the same as all experiences are each individuals own experience!
How we deal with it and the hell we nee or seek to help deal with it is truly the critical snd crucial phase in ultimately the recovery journey!
I say recovery journey .. as we never forget .. we just learn the tool to desk with it and continue on with our lives functioning as best we can while we still continue to deal with the remnants it’s left behind. As I say that takes time .. and time truly does he’ll trice the sting .. but the right professional advice also plays a crucial factor in the recovery you get!
So any literature that can help anyone emotionally and mentally cope and recover i csn learn or utilize.. so does me !
So thank you for the insight !
Jennifer Ryper, Counseling, CA says
I have a question around your question. Are your trauma clients in the habit of blaming others for their problems? Is this a stereotype, and does this also leave clients at risk for further victimization because it is asked in the context of traumatic memories. I lived through traumatic memories and triggers and did not blame others when I felt this. I also worked through what was happening for me, the message the trauma left me with when triggered.
I am an incest survivor, and abuse is not readily acknowledged within the family and community I was part of while that was occurring. It was not to be spoken of, and when I did, much later, received the “quit blaming your problems on (the abusers)”. This kind of response is re-victimization, and is more common in the fundamentalist religious communities. It is an effective way to make the victim the problem, and shut them down. In the religious community I grew up in, this is being addressed today, thank god. It’s a long time in coming. If my therapist had ever used that expression around trauma survivors with me, I would have walked out of her office. Thankfully she never did.
Our language matters because stereotypes are formed through the language we use to describe experiences or events. “Blame others for their problems” is a phrase that needs to be looked at. I know it is generating a response on my part so may be triggering. I also know that language used can be harmful. Perpetrators blame their victims, and internalized blame leaves victims with messages about themselves that need to be undone. Our talk
It is also important to look at the triggering event. I was triggered by the actions of an man who manipulated. His actions abused his privelege and power. I dealt with those feelings outside of that experience. However, the stereotype around clients who blame is readily picked up by those who wish to cover up their own actions. My trauma background and the talk around survivors blaming others left me vulnerable to that when it was addressed.
Maybe the question should be asked, how do we work with clients who do not recognize the source of their triggered emotional response? or something like that. “Blame others for their problems” seems too generalized an expression, and because used colloquially sometimes to silence, should be avoided.
As a therapist I might ask clients about the message to them. Work through what happened, and what it meant to them. I would look with them at what they felt, and what piece of the experience left them feeling that way. It is necessary to have an established relationship in order to do this.
It is also important to remember, that as therapists, we do our best, and may also trigger a response without meaning to. A genuine and real relationship allows us to work through these things. Transference does occur, but we also have a responsibility to work through our own feelings. This is part of life. When we do this with clients, we show them how to step away from “blame” to look at what is happening in a meaningful way.
As a trauma survivor, I’m asking that we look at our language so that how we as therapists define and describe does not harm spirit in terms of colloquial negatives directed at survivors. As a survivor, I’m aware of how words can harm, and as a therapist, in my work with people, I keep that in mind. It is learning I took away from my experiences.
As a therapist, I’m also saying keep the questions coming. they are good for discussion and food for thought.
Terri thomas, Other, Litchfield Park , AZ, USA says
As a very recent trauma victim, reading this article was just like I feel. Right now, in the present moment, I feel like I’m drowning.
Your article was very insightful from a patients point of view.
Thank you.
Becky, Medicine, Wyoming , PA, USA says
Interesting but thought it was about something else
Shawna Cordova, Another Field, Colorado springs , CO, USA says
Understanding someone is half the battle and educating yourself on there trauma is number one just because someone is disruptive or volcal dodrnt mean they are a nut case as they tell me anyway I work with many kinds of individualds and they are all special in there own way if you haven’t lived it with them don’t live it cause it’s harder then ones think
Shawna, Another Field, Colorado springs , CO, USA says
Understanding someone is half the battle and educating yourself on there trauma is number one just because someone is disruptive or volcal dodrnt mean they are a nut case as they tell me anyway I work with many kinds of individualds and they are all special in there own way if you haven’t lived it with them don’t live it cause it’s harder then ones think
Charlotte Mabry, Another Field, Primm Springs, TN, USA says
Equine Therapy
EMDR
Art therapy
Meditation
Yoga
Walking in Nature
Chaplain Mark Gupton, Clergy, Knox City , TX, USA says
Thank you for reminding people to use the invaluable tool of listening!
Crystal Patterson, Supervisor, Oil City, PA, USA says
I always attempt bringing the individual back to a place of empowerment, taking back control of their lives, feelings, interactions and reactions. A Window Between Worlds is a therapeutic art project that gives a trauma victim power to express their pain, healing……
Ami, Exercise Physiology, GB says
With any expression ways as dance, paint, sports,write,sing,create for themselves and good talking feedback /chats and understood them inside out give them support
Ami, Exercise Physiology, GB says
With any expression ways as dance, paint, sports,write,sing,create for themselves and good talking feedback /chats and understood.
Ami, Physical Therapy, GB says
I used to treat with it everyday ,correct.
Tamela Fillipou, Another Field, Baltimore , MD, USA says
I deal with this every day of my life I always get blamed for my husbands problems and I hear if I over dose it’s your fault. I also have brain damage and ptsd.
Ruth, Other, AU says
I relate strongly to talking being a distraction. I have rarely found talking helpful. I suggest looking at the persons part in the situation not other peoples part.
Lenegaemelke@gmail.com, Teacher, Pittsburgh, PA, USA says
The statement . let the person experience what they experience no state will last another state will follow.also an awareness that suffering will come to an end. I really liked this writing. I want to read more. I have been called on the carpet for allowing or letting children feel what they feel. Helping children being present in their bodies and able to experience it and their emotional state. I acknowledge the person and also what he or she has to do to seek relieve. Movement is good yoga and acting /playing can help. I want to learn your writing is helpful. Thank you for posting it.
Babshi-Colleen, Counseling, Austin, TX, USA says
Wonderful information…..
Paula Easter, Social Work, Gaston, NC, USA says
I work in a trauma focused psychiatric treatment center for adolescents. I appreciate and very interested in any nonverbal modes of therapy i.e dance, yoga, art, movement, etc. Thank you for offering your knowledge and research around effects of trauma.
Joeyjo, Physical Therapy, GB says
Sounds like my last 2 relationships… gas lighting I think they call it ?
Mitzi, Other, Redlands , USA says
I Do not have clients but I sure have PTSD.
I have time issues and did not know it was related to trauma itself I thought it was from the brain injury.
I was abused by my husband caused PTSD then a car crash in 2010 7 years after the divorce. I am back at my x house his new wife which is his x wife he never told me about has her new house with horses he promises me. I drank until I almost died to escape the PTSD. Thanks MITZI
Nikki, Other, GB says
I believe that to become empowered we need to be a cause in the matter of our own lives, which means to take responsibility for how we feel about an experience. My personal dilemna at times is dealing with anxiety and wondering where it came and started from which is clearly counter productive! Most of the time I just say…’this too shall pass’.
Thank you.
Lindy Mayfield, Other, Gillette , WY, USA says
I’m 55 and I suffer with migraines. I’m currently retired due to them. I’ve been told that I’ve had blood loss to the frontal lobe of my brain and I could efficiently get dementia. I’ve been struggling with this since I’ve was diagnosed. Answers would help and who to talk to also.
Christine Parker-Cale, Nursing, GB says
My suggestion would be to see a plant-based nutritionist. I have see people end migraines that they have suffered from for decades, recovery from really severe heart disease and halt cognitive disfunction (which is the beginning of dementia). Also cures of auto-immune illnesses of many types. I can’t recommend this type of eating too highly. It changes everything for the better.
Lisa Conisbee, Other, GB says
I am 55yrs old and suffering from a traumatic life because of my mother’s behaviour. ‘Mummy Dearest’ is my story only much worse and I wasn’t adopted. How can I overcome that monkey on my shoulder? I am not an addict. I am mother of four boys and two grandsons. I have a younger sister who is traumatised like me and more so because she stayed close to the toxic destruction for longer. I work as a librarian. It seems the older I get the more the stuff creeps out and debilitates me. My sister and I cut off contact definitively about 5 years ago. She is still alive but has been unable to damage our lives recently. Nobody understands really. Mothers are meant to love you, as indeed I love my sons and grandsons. I have no roots and I am a desolate soul. I have a persecution complex. I try too hard and suffer physical pain in my neck. “I have never been good enough and it has always been my fault.” This is my sub reminding me of my childhood. My question is how do I lose this? What can I do to release the terrors in my head? Please help me – thank you
Susan, Coach, Warrenville, IL, USA says
Look to see if maybe there is truth in what they are saying. Maybe they are being abused by another and feel victimized. Victimization can render people powerless and immobilized .. try
Susan, Coach, Warrenville, IL, USA says
Look to see if maybe there is truth in what they are saying. Maybe they are being abused by another and feel victimized. Victimization can render people powerless and immobilized
Gail Steel, Other, CA says
Thank you very much for this. I am currently in therapy for trauma. It began with sensorimotor and now we will try EMDR. I have read, The Body Keeps the Score, and it started me on this journey. I am so very grateful for the research and treatment that has emerged in the last three decades, as I have suffered much before effective methods were available.
Becky Buentello, Other, Brazoria, TX, USA says
Thank you for this valuable information. I work with youth in an alternative school setting and am aware of the ACEs study. I am also registered yoga instructor and really want to know more about the research on yoga and trauma.
Robin, Other, Fife Lake, MI, USA says
I personally know that this is a true story! I have seen what validation in patient care can do for a person with this type of injury.
Gloria Kennedy, Other says
Thank you for article. I work with Memory care clients in their home..as a care taker..and can confirm some of the the methods I have found to help. I have used to keep them in sink with the happenings around them. Mostly it has been with dementia and early alzheimer people. The disorientation for a fleeting moment can be shortened in time by bringing it casually back to the moment we are sharing. I was encouraged by the article stating it can come without a verbal trigger or anything that can be happening at the moment..smells – sensations stimulated by internal change of the body itself..always in a state of flux.
Linda, Social Work, Rockville Centre, NY, USA says
Role playing often helps with that!
Roles are often ‘redefined’ and a dialogue begins!
Self accountability is oftentimes challenging for that person but when we take emphasid off ‘self’ it oftentimes helps
Theresa, Teacher, Holt , MI, USA says
I am very grateful that I am a recovering drug addict due to my trauma. I say this because it has led me to many many recovery groups of which I have taken full advantage of immersing myself in. In turn, this has helped me to learn the 12 steps of recovery and I work my tush off trying to apply it to my life! It has helped me to meet many people in addiction which at the core of most addictions is usually trauma of some magnitude and this is what we talk about in our meetings. I also attend formal substance-abuse counseling groups and I learned a great deal about the brain and how it heals and am finally putting many of the puzzle pieces together after many many years of struggling with both internal trauma and many physical injuries brought on from two serious vehicular accidents. Needless to say unraveling the PTSD, a traumatic brain injury (went undiagnosed back in 1975, yup) ??? along with complicated neck and spinal injuries just compounded the mental issues that come with trauma. So today I can say I am a grateful recovering addict because if I hadn’t turned to drugs (opiates) and thank God managed to come out on the other side ? I would never have had the opportunity to become involved in the recovery community which is the only place I accidentally stumbled upon for healing most ? of my mental health issues. The greatest lessons I’m learning are to love ? myself AND forgive ? myself. My journey has just begun. Love, Theresa ?
Tracey, Another Field, CA says
TraceyAnn Robinson .my Mother was an alsoholic, cancer patient. , Fatheer travelling sales man, age13 sister age 18 we divorced Mother lived with Father. I had a sickly childhood. In hospital steadily 6 months rheumatoid arthritis, 2 weeks eye surgurey, . I have gone threw many serious situations on my own. Feeling lve had to grown up on my own. Became parent of 3 daughters at age 19, then, 20, then, 21 with husband, divorced him due to his alcoholism. He just past away this last November. I’ve raised my daughters mostly alone. Married second time suggested sexual abuse to eldest daughter, had him pulled from him immediately at same evening l was told of situation, then 15 yr old was pregnant, had the child. Gmsz excellent child . I’ve been in 4 accident suffered 4 concussions, last one was fall backwards has really Dammagex me physically. I’m only 60. Fibromyalgia, arachnoiditis, mild-moderate brain injury, post traumatic brain concussions, torn hip Labrum on both hips. Many other health is used .own my own home soul home owner. It’s gettinv more difficult later. I would love to talk to someone qualified. Have lost last 4 elders of our family end of 2019 Cousin coming to livein with me l have a large enough home, plus young family of 4 coming to live in as well I need someone professional now to talk to please while lm open to talking.
Looking forward to our meeting. I currently am not driving which causes a great deal of problems for appointments. Couldn’t drive due to seizures from accidents in head trauma. I finally want to talk . My partner and l just broke up after 10 yrs. l feel something’s not right with me as lm not feeling that emotional about this break up which l feel l should be . She will anxiously await to hear from you l am not working flexible hours are no problem at all ? Thank you for taking the time to read my breif summary!
Marlene Corbett, Counseling, AU says
Dialectic Behaviour Therapy has changed my life after suffering Trauma losing my soul mate to suicide. For years I could not deal with his death but now I am free. Doesn’t mean I still don’t hurt, I do, I have learnt to live in the present moment and living a full life again.
Di, Tucson, AZ, USA says
In red above it asks…How do you deal with those who blame others for their problems?
No forward ans.
Sheri Abbott, Another Field, Binghamton, NY, USA says
Once I started praying things became much easier for me. I started to have a sense of peace and clam that I have never experienced of felt before. Once I started to have a relationship with God instead of going through the motions of being part of a “religion”. My PTSD got significantly better.
Annie, Teacher, Chattanooga, TN, USA says
Thank you for turning your trauma into service… That is wizardry: turning lead into gold.
Brian Deal, Student, Hampton , VA, USA says
I am in school for psychology with the desire to work with people with OCD, PTSD, and other forms of anxiety and trauma. I have become interested in working in this field because of a life long battle myself having to process some major trauma and me being on the spectrum and feeling ashamed at times and thinking it’s my fault. Although I know they are cognitive distortions, they do have a way of holding onto you. At the moment, I am also currently trying to co-parent with someone who had unintentionally gaslighting me. I need to have more of an ability to stand up for myself and express/explain things to her in a more clinical process while at the same time, helping her with her past trauma, and facilitating her ability to express herself as well.
Danielle Rogers, Another Field, CA says
Thanks for the information. I became ptst in 1993 and am still learning to cope with the overwhelming feelings. I lost all visual memory which was a blessing. I don’t blame anyone accept myself which has had brutal consequences. I now know we are all responsible for our own feelings and behaviours and we need to be careful who we let in our lives. I try to practice Eckhart Tolles philosophy of being present. Thank you
Yvonne, GA, USA says
Iam reading Bessel Van Der Kolk’s book “The Body Keeps the Score”. A good resource for those suffering the long term insidious effects of trauma..PTSD is not limited to soldiers experiences in combat. Trauma of many origins affect us later in life. A must read.
Cheryl Helsby, Other, CA says
I am a survivor of multiple trauma. My childhood traumas are tucked away in my brain though pieces had poked through. As I had been sexualized at a very young age, I became self destructive. As I result, I was severely beaten and left for dead. I was found with a broken skull and internal injuries in 1986. My parents were told I wouldn’t survive and if I did, I’d be a vegetable. I was brought into the hospital in early June of 1986 and walked out in August?! 1986. Besides speech therapy, I received no assistance for my trauma. To this day, if anyone comes near my head I flinch unless prepared in advance.
More trauma has occurred and continues to occur to date. My entire immediate family passed away one after another over ten years ago.
Presently living in a unit with mold in a Co-op in which they are liable and are abusing my family with threats of eviction and harrassment. I have found no support nor a recourse.
While it has been suggested by some that I have CPTSD others have said I do not suffer from PTSD and the psychiatrist society does not recognize CPTSD.
Friend, Teacher, CA says
Cheryl H. You deserve to be shown love and compassion. Don’t give up now, You are a strong woman to have come through so much trauma and still fighting for your family and your right to live where you are! Try to find a support group in your area. Maybe through a community assistance group or church? You are not forgotten or alone. Others care about your pain. Most importantly God cares; He loves you no matter what! He sees you as His own; beautiful! Reach out and have faith. He can change any situation from bad to good!
Olive Clarke, Another Field, GB says
I was on life support following a stroke. I actually died several times – I guess that can be classed as severe trauma. When I came off life support I couldn’t speak or move. I was locked inside my body with no way of communicating. A very frightening experience. Five years on – although I’m bed bound my life is so full there is not enough hours in the day. I have learnt to in the Infinity of the present – not the past or future . It took a life changing event to learn this wisdom. I pass the knowledge on
Annie, Teacher, TN, USA says
Thank you for turning your trauma into service… That is wizardry: turning lead into gold.
Kelly Goodman, Other, palestine, TX, USA says
Reading about things that are positive helps you grow, Learning to do things that you once loved and couldn’t do because of PTSD gives you a sense of confidence. Being kind to others, even if you want to avoid them helps to see people are okay. Learning it’s okay to have a bad day cuz everyone does. Learning that situations doesn’t own you.. Learning to stand up for yourself isn’t being mean, and saying no to things you don’t like or disagree with is powerful to self growth. Everyone is different and not everyone will like you. People are mean and ugly at times but only we can give them the power to change us or affect us..(Dont give away your power)
Attitude is everything the ups and down come and go like an ocean tide, or a shifting saddle on a horse, just enjoy the ride.. Life is hard at times, joining the grudges only makes it worse.. forgive yourself and be kind to yourself. Healing is a choice we have to make for ourselves, sometimes it takes a person time to wake up to that ,and realize the struggle is ours alone no one can do it for us…others can comfort you and give directions but only you can pull youurself up by the boot straps and make yourself heal..Healing takes time and time is of abundance, yet we only have so much in our life time so make every moment of the struggle worth while..there is light at the end of the tunnel no matter what…so don’t stand around in the darkness light that tunnel up for yourself!!
Kelly, Other, palestine, USA says
Reading about things that are positive helps you grow, Learning to do things that you once loved and couldn’t do because of PTSD gives you a sense of confidence. Being kind to others, even if you want to avoid them helps to see people are okay. Learning it’s okay to have a bad day cuz everyone does. Learning that situations doesn’t own you.. Learning to stand up for yourself isn’t being mean, and saying no to things you don’t like or disagree with is powerful to self growth. Everyone is different and not everyone will like you. People are mean and ugly at times but only we can give them the power to change us or affect us..(Dont give away your power)
Attitude is everything the ups and down come and go like an ocean tide, or a shifting saddle on a horse, just enjoy the ride.. Life is hard at times, joining the grudges only makes it worse.. forgive yourself and be kind to yourself. Healing is a choice we have to make for ourselves, sometimes it takes a person time to wake up to that ,and realize the struggle is ours alone no one can do it for us…others can comfort you and give directions but only you can pull youurself up by the boot straps and make yourself heal..Healing takes time and time is of abundance, yet we only have so much in our life time so make every moment of the struggle worth while..there is light at the end of the tunnel no matter what…so don’t stand around in the darkness light that tunnel up for yourself!!
Theresa, Teacher, Holt , MI, USA says
After many many years of trying to identify my trauma then relive the feelings I found the ONLY way to gradually overcome my pain was through forgiveness. Forgiveness toward those who did their best to raise me the best they knew how and finally and i’m Still working on this forgiving myselferesa