Working With Your Client’s Traumatic Memories
with Bessel van der Kolk, MD
and Ruth Buczynski, PhD
Sometimes we remember what seem like the smallest, most insignificant details of our lives – an 8th grade locker combination, a story heard at a party years ago, or all the lines from a favorite movie.
These memories – full of facts, words, and events – are explicit memories.
But there are different kinds of memories – ones that are evoked by sights, sounds, or even smells.
For example, the smell of coffee percolating atop a gas stove could bring back Sunday afternoons around the table with beloved grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
On the other hand, being surprised by the scent of a particular aftershave, for instance, could elicit feelings of fear, panic, or even terror.
A person who was traumatized as a child might re-experience the all-too-familiar sensations of quivering in fear or breaking out in a cold sweat.
And it may have very little to do with the verbal thought process of, “Oh, this reminds me of the incident of my father hitting me.”
Traumatic memory is formed and stored very differently than everyday memory.
So let’s take a closer look at what happens when a person experiences trauma.
What Happens When the Brain Can’t Process Trauma
Dr. Van der Kolk: If a person was abused as a child, the brain can become wired to believe, “I’m a person to whom terrible things happen, and I better be on the alert for who’s going to hurt me now.”
Those are conscious thoughts that become stored in a very elementary part of the brain.
But what happens to adults when they become traumatized by something terrible they’ve experienced?
Simply put, the brain becomes overwhelmed. That’s because the thalamus shuts down and the entire picture of what happened can’t be stored in their brain.
So instead of forming specific memories of the full event, people who have been traumatized remember images, sights, sounds, and physical sensations without much context.
And certain sensations just become triggers of the past.
You see, the brain continually forms maps of the world – maps of what is safe and what is dangerous.
That’s how the brain becomes wired. People carry an internal map of who they are in relationship to the world. That becomes their memory system, but it’s not a known memory system like that of verbal memories.
It’s an implicit memory system.
What that means is that a particular traumatic incident may not be remembered as a story of something that’s happened a long time ago. Instead, it gets triggered by sensations that people are experiencing in the present that can activate their emotional states.
It’s a much more elementary, organic level of a single sensation triggering the state of fear.
A person might keep thinking about the sensation and say, “Oh, this must be because it reminds me of the time that my father hit me.”
But that’s not the connection that the mind makes at that particular time.
How the Lack of Context Impacts Treatment
So what difference will it make in our work, knowing that a traumatic memory was encoded without context?
It’s important to recognize that PTSD, or the experience of trauma is not about the past. It’s about a body that continues to behave and organize itself as if the experience is happening right now.
When we’re working with people who have been traumatized, it’s crucial to help them learn how to field the present as it is and to tolerate whatever goes on. The past is only relevant in as far as it stirs up current sensations, feelings, emotions and thoughts.
The story about the past is just a story that people tell to explain how bad the trauma was, or why they have certain behaviors.
But the real issue is that trauma changes people. They feel different and experience certain sensations differently.
That’s why the main focus of therapy needs to be helping people shift their internal experience or, in other words, how the trauma is lodged inside them.
How Talking Can Distract a Client from Feeling
Now, in helping people learn to stay with their sensations, we need to resist the temptation to ask them to talk about their experience and what they’re aware of.
This is because talking can convey a defense against feeling.
Through the use of brain imagery, we’ve learned that when people are feeling something very deeply, one particular area of the brain lights up.
And we’ve seen other images taken when people are beginning to talk about their trauma and, when they do, another part of the brain lights up.
So talking can be a distraction from helping patients notice what is going on within themselves.
And that’s why some of the best therapy is very largely non-verbal, where the main task of the therapist is to help people to feel what they feel - to notice what they notice, to see how things flow within themselves, and to reestablish their sense of time inside.
Why Restoring the Sense of Time Can Make Emotions More Bearable
All too often, when people feel traumatized, their bodies can feel like they’re under threat even if it’s a beautiful day and they’re in no particular danger.
So our task becomes helping people to feel those feelings of threat, and to just notice how the feelings go away as time goes on.
The body never stays the same because the body is always in a state of flux.
It’s important to help a patient learn that, when a sensation comes up, it’s okay to have it because something else will come next.
This is one way we can help patients re-establish this sense of time which gets destroyed by the trauma.
Sensations and emotions become intolerable for clients because they think, “This will never come to an end.”
But once a patient knows that something will come to an end, their whole attitude changes.
Now we'd like to hear from you. How will you use these ideas on traumatic memory in your work with your patients?
Please leave a comment below.
Cindy L Tusa, Marriage/Family Therapy, Jackson, MN, USA says
Patience, speaking with them, caring
Ana Diaz, Other, Eastchester NY, NY, USA says
I just tell them to study well their situations and find out their problem before blaming them.
Jan Goldsworthy, Psychotherapy, GB says
By being with them and truly listening to their dilemma and then suggesting gently they look at when they were blamed for something as kids and what the consequence was. Then they learn to get in touch with that hurt child and grow forward to then stop blaming others and concentrate on the feelings that are physically going round in the body, work on that in the moment then recognise everyone gets this stuff and can get over anger and rage and move on.
Amy lynn Presnell, Another Field, Kingsport, TN, USA says
I indeed need to no more about this
Ani, Other, USA says
I have expeeienced 1 trauma 30 yrs ago and another one 12 years ago….nothing haa been working to lessen the impact on my life evey year…..still looking for a solution
Susie, Teacher, AU says
I have been dealing with childhood trauma for many years abuse on many levels I have been doing some work with eye movement eg watching a bauble move from side to side up and down.I belive this as helped me process because it has engaged both my rational brain and my emotional brain thus causing a integration of the memory
Summer Grindstaff, Other, Riverton, UT, USA says
I am the client and I’ve experienced trauma far beyond what is usual, or so my therapists have said. We weren’t making any headway at all until I quit blaming other people. I wasn’t wrong to be doing this but it wasn’t helping me move forward. On my own I’ve found some ways to stop blaming and it changed my entire world! There are a few things missing, in my opinion, from what my therapists were teaching me. Foundation work really. Once I understood that I have not struggled again! If anyone wants to know more contact me. I’d love to share what I know if it could help even 1 person. The information I got saved my life. I was very seriously struggling with the time issue and blaming other people. My understanding now puts me completely in control and that is effective!
M Cummings, Counseling, Des Moines , IA, USA says
I’ve been suffering with Trauma for several years and am curious when you say “foundation work”..? I’m finding as I get older, I’m experiencing a deeper level of trauma again.
Thank you..
Sarah, Student, CA says
I’d love to hear how you have been able to stop blaming others, as I find like yourself, it’s not that hey aren’t to blame for certain situations in my life, but staying mad at them and feeling held back by looking back at that trauma really is keeping me in an unhappy and stuck place no matter what else I do to be healthy or positive. Thanks again for sharing and hope to hear what has worked for you. All the best to you!
Marie, Other, Seattle, WA, USA says
Summer, I have a sister who will not embrace healing for her trauma. She is quite combative and self medicates. Presently, she is isolated from the entire family because she’s burned her bridges either by physical, or other kinds of abuse. How can I help lead her to heal?
Sarah, Other, Muskogee, OK, USA says
Hello. I’m Sarah from Muskogee Oklahoma. My maternal family is plagued with trauma, suicides, mental diseases, etc. During my therapy about 5 years ago, my therapist recommended my then, 7 year old daughter vusit a psychologist. I immediately cried of course because I do not want my daughters to ever feel like I’ve felt before, so I spoke about them both very much. After a short interview, the psychologist said she was obviously struggling with trauma. I cried again of course, cause I already knew, yet confirming it hurt my heart. It’s been impossible for me to forgive myself, frankly, I refuse to forgive myself until I’m certain she is stable atleast. It’s quite a story that I actually vividly relived it today like a flashback. It literaly physically pains me, and I think I deserve thus, of course. What my daughter experienced from me when she was only 2 years old is not ok, it’s downright evil without a doubt and I simply don’t see how that was the real me even. The person that I’d consider “myself” would never do such things to anyone, and I’m asking myself why or how did it get to a point where I traumatized my very own baby, cause that’s not “normal” for me, yet, it makes sense that this comes down to prescriptions I took for about a year until it ruined everything. 11 years ago I was being prescribed 80mg oxycontin along with every other known sedative and narcotic, and I insurance, so the man got paid as he wished, it’s likely all he cared about. Perhaps if you can reach out in any way anytime, I would have no hesitation explaining what experience caused the pure pain endured to this day. She doesn’t deserve this, and no one does!
Natalie Martin, Supervisor, CA says
I have just started a job where I will work with children in care and have experienced trauma. I would like to learn more. So that I may be able to help them through some of their issues or feelings that they are dealing with, as well as, help my niece as she is experiencing PTSD
Miffy Farmiloe, Other, GB says
Emotional pain is so intense and raw
Antonia, Another Field, Providence , RI, USA says
I’m trying to learn more
Shayla A, Nursing, AU says
Religion cannot be a blanket blame. Alot has been done under false doctrine in the name of religion (if i wad god id be pretty pissed off!!)
Blamong all religion is just as bad as racism sexism and is also a hate crime.
You need to respect people’s religion even if you don’t share it. As long as they are not infringing anyone else’s rights let them worship when what or how they may.
Shayla A, Nursing, AU says
Religion cannot be a blanket blame. Alot has been done under false doctrine in the name of religion (if i wad god id be pretty pissed off!!)
Blamong all religion is just as bad as racism racism and is also a hate crime.
You need to respect people’s religion even if you don’t share it. As long as they are not infringing anyone else’s rights let them worship when what or how they may.
Angela graham, Counseling, GB says
I try and allow the person To come to an understanding on how to take responsibility for their part while understanding blame is a defense mechanism and usually comes when the destruct button has been pushed in an individual’s life.
Jen, Counseling, Staples, MN, USA says
This doesn’t sound right to me. Taking responsibility for what? Most trauma is not the individual’s fault and if you try to get them to see their “part” you will cause much damage as their shame will be reinforced. I hope you receive training in trauma informed care.
Deborah, Another Field, PAGOSA SPRINGS, CO, USA says
Most often, the only part a trauma victim is responsible for is the recovery. Letting go of what or who caused the trauma releases energy that can then be directed towards reclaiming one’s sense of self and repairing the damage done.
Polly, Other, AU says
Oooops, I must have read this wrong. I do not have clients. I was interested in what coping mechanisms you suggest to deal with a traumatic experience. Thank you
Siân Finn, Other, GB says
I give our participants a list of calming strategies that they can read through and a comprehensive handout of recognising stress and with practical ways to respond to stress in a healthy way. For example listen to music, go for a walk in nature if possible, deep breathing exercises.
E, Student, Port St Lucie, FL, USA says
You don’t make folks pay for that, do you?
Margaret Lewis, Counseling, GB says
Thank you for this it really makes sense and will help me explain it to others in a way that gives hope for change
Addison Grace Evans, Other, Albuquerque , NM, USA says
I have been in talk therapy, no good, art therapy and inpatient holistic therapy at the life healing center in Santa Fe. I’ve been working to heal a trauma bond and excessive violence from men. I was a nationally published writer for SAMSHA. I wrote about everything in this field. I recently rendered myself homeless intentionally to experience what I wrote about walking across 6 states in the deep south. Exposure therapy and policy and story research. Most profound experience and harrowing of my life. I’m back in housing very stable but noticing how my brain maps patterns, sounds, smells and body memory. I still relate this to stories but that speeds my brain into fear and I notice it. I use art, exercise, cannabis with cbd in low amounts, photography, yogic breathing and walking. I live in a dangerous neighborhood and crave nature and safety. My tolerance for noises and threats decreased significantly after my total immersion research.
Rmma, Another Field, CA says
I wish I was as strong
Lesley Adamson, Psychology, AU says
Try to bring clients into the present moment. Allowing them to let their feelings go, noticing thoughts (ACT), naming, allowing them to go. Breathing. Assionate involvement in new activity. Breathing. Timelines. CBT.
Holly Sinicki, Psychology, Casa Grande, AZ, USA says
I respectfully disagree. Trauma tends to evoke very strong feelings for or against religion/spirituality and to not address that when it comes up (because it absolutely will) is completely irresponsible and leaves brokenness rather than complete healing.
Selina Avent, Social Work, Baltimore, MD, USA says
These therapy theories work when used properly. (DBT) Dialectical Behavior Therapy
Psychodynamic Therapy
Narrative Therapy.
Targeting the time in life the trauma happened as well as identifying how insightful, how motivated is the participant to change their behavior.
Ric, Another Field, Redlands , CA, USA says
My early experience of humiliation and whipping were buried until good therapy decades later. My sense of trust has suffered. I am still learning about this in late adulthood. Many aspects have come to light. I am grateful for good insurance!
Dianne Rossi, Social Work, Yonkers, NY, USA says
I try to allow them to become aware that they are blaming someone for their problems, since often they don’t realize this. Then explore their feelings about this.
Clarisse, Physical Therapy, Medford, NJ, USA says
Hugely helpful. Insight into why I have no concept of time and am very chatty often dancing around difficult subjects verbally is a major avoidance technique. Avoiding emotions.
Thank you. Time to sit with those foreign scary and unfamiliar creatures. Emotions. Hope I survive it.
Just joking. Its probably not really fatal. Just that scary.
Sheryle Wigle, Other, CA says
MY ADVICE TO ME Just accept that this is the here and now. Don’t put any demands on yourself. Feel what you feel. Sometimes I go minute to minute other times by hour or day. Keep reminding yourself you survived and be proud that you did. Out of our worst moments, you get the strength to forge ahead. Sometimes it feels like climbing a stairway, I go up one down two, but there are other times we go up two down one, eventually no matter the time or length continue to remind yourself you survived these tough times. By pretending or ignoring these painful events will not bring you to feeling whole. So accept each day as they’re given to you. Try when you can to even reward yourself for a day or week. You definitely deserve it. In time your mind won’t forget, but it will be less painful as time goes on even talking about it will free you. Try to not let the darkness overwhelm you. It’s not your fault, you didn’t ask for it happen.
These things happened and all you can do is try to look forward and enjoy every good moment that happens to you. We deserve to be happy…life just threw us a few curve balls.
I forgot 20 years of life cuz I had 3 babies under 3 to raise without any family.
For the next 30 years, I strived to be the best mom I could be to help my infants thru to maturity. Then when they were living there own lives my mind opened up a box of abuse I literally forgot. My mind protected me from the horrors done to me. Even my now adult children didn’t know, no one. And I’m left with permanent physical & mental injuries for life. What opened up that box was when my sister came down with her 8 yr old daughter and abused me in my home for 9 mths till they finally left.
For the last 8 yrs I was hemorrhaging bleeding out of my skin all over my body over 1000+ scars, till few mths ago it stopped and my skin organ returned to normal with permanent injuries they did to my spine, feet, leg, face and in non-stop pain.
Then 2 years ago, without warning, my mind was remembering in flashes, then fully.My feelings were dark.
I appreciate to hear your short story and wanted to reach out to you, even though it’s scary.
I tell myself, “I’m sure out of the bad that happened to you lies a wonderful life ahead. You were born in this world for a reason. One day at a time.HUGS” I literally hug myself thru dark feelings till they subside.
Thank you again.
Lo haze, Another Field, Burlington, IA, USA says
I am a 32 year old mother of 3 and expecting. I am raising and set to have another child on my own. It was thought that the man that fathers all my children would fall in suit and we would be a family. I have often thought of this to be my biggest accomplishment in life and yet I’m alone to raise my children. Keeping up with life’s challenges is just one part in this. As an individual I have struggled to understand who I am and what purpose is to be served. My spirituality being largely questioned and I’ve had many questions as what is. All in all I feel a solid connection with God. Religion has be laid aside as to it has no underlining merit. Yet my oneness left displayed with a deep faith wonders with grace. Intwined in my growth and experiences as I grew would fall to emotion. Emotion behind everything I did and was. I wanted to understand more and so I studied the mind. On a psychological level and states of the mind helped me see a bit deeper into the behavior we developed and I don’t like to give power to the diagnosis that labels many disorders. But rather it was deeper than this. Which for myself I discovered what I was feeling was non other than ptsd. What people tend to miss is that ptsd is the suffering of something traumatic and that the trauma depends on the person. Its one sensitivity to them. Emotion is not right or wrong. It can’t be stopped. I’ve come to realize these things on my own and I’m sure a doctor would call it ptsd. Prescription drugs are out of the question for me and I’m am here now just moving along my journey trying to cope with what life hands me. Its peace of mind that I long for and will work to this. My biggest accomplishment in life now is to find peace of mind and I will do just that. God bless to all along your journey. Peace and love.
Lo haze, Another Field, Burlington, USA says
Past life regression?? Anyone? Or the emotion code?
Deborah Hutchison, Chiropractor, CA says
I use a very basic emotional release and I also use body Talk
Lee, Another Field, CA says
I found that yoga nidra (iRest.org) is a very powerful tool for PTSD. Clients learn to recognize feelings/emotions while in the state of very deep relaxation. They learn how to recognize where that feeling/emotion is within the body. Then, they learn how to bring the opposite feeling/emotion in and locate it in the body as well. Finally, they learn how to hold both feelings/emotions and the opposite together, feeling them in the body simultaneously. It’s all done in a state of very deep relaxation and I find this method very effective.
Sharon, Another Field, Haverhill, MA, USA says
Emdr can be very beneficial and other similar therapies. Therapist can use a variety of methods not found on a google search, so dont waste too much time there. If your christian (and i hope you are) you can bring God right into it. You can finish the stories in your head, unlock supressed memories, and the trauma gets stored as a very specific event from that place and time. You can now go about developing skills that can keep you out of those dangers, but you are not living like it could happen again at any moment, or actually is happening. It takes you out of flight or fight. Unlocking repressed memories is a very good thing. You can see and feel what you should have done in that moment, and how you should feel about yourself deapite the circumstance. (God is a great help here)
Roxanne Bull, Student, CA says
Yes sounds interesting
Paul, GB says
I have only recently been diagnosed with bipolar, it is challenging at best, I came off my meds for it to see if I could cope without them, it was a bad decision. Not only did I suffer the ups and downs of the disorder, I began to remember bad things that happened to me as a child, I have flash memories and sometimes nightmares, the thing that scares me most is that when these thoughts randomly pop into my head, that it is another new memory of what happened to me
Marjorie Garber, Other, Glendale, AZ, USA says
I wish this info could be mailed to me 3814 w ross ave, glendale, az. 85305
Sue, GB says
Found this very interesting and helpful. Thank you
Elsa Saraiava, Another Field, GB says
This was very interesting….but still cant talk at 51 about the abuse I’ve been through.
Maybe because I’ve always been told not to talk about it…when I have wanted to share with family or friends I get the silent treatment…people dont want to be involved..
Sam, Other, Crothersville, USA says
Im sorry you went through that. I think you’re right because it was told not to talk about more in the past and a lot of people don’t know how to approach it. Have you reached out to anyone else since then? Don’t give up… You’re worth fighting for. Even if someone doesn’t have all the answers I think it would help to be listened to.
antonia treverton, Teacher, albuquerque, NM, USA says
Please find someone outside your family to talk to.
Judith Starr, Clergy, Jacksonville, FL, USA says
I am Christian healing minister. We usuallly work in context of the memory. Usually they will actually experience the event and I will bring Jesus into the encounter. It is usually in the en- counter that we help them with Holy Spirit led questions to the Savior. Our goal Is to help them release the pain , fear ,trauma or any false beliefs that maybe empowering their life.
Sheila Stevenson, Coach, CA says
As a survivor of early and lengthy childhood abuse (followed by domestic abuse), I learned at an early age that my feelings, and what my body was feeling like didn’t matter. As a matter of fact, I was almost always punished for displaying feelings. It has been a long journey of healing, first with a registered therapist, and then during my training to become a certified life/business coach. All through, my classmates and profs were being coached, and coaching each other. It changed my life. I work with clients who have experienced trauma. One of the things I’ve found to be most helpful to them, is to help them focus on what is happening in their body while they are bringing memories up, and also when they experience a forward moving ‘Ah-ha’ moment. They soon ‘get it’, and begin to proceed more quickly. Life changing.
Susan Taylor, Counseling, GB says
Thankyou for sharing
Busty Oscillation, Other, Pownal, ME, USA says
I am recovering from childhood abuse and PTSD. I deal with a slew of health problems pretty much naturally. I’ve tried many medications but the side effects far outweigh the benefits. Side effects like suicidal ideation come with medicine that is for treating pain and imbalance,physical and mental.
I use acupressure, meditation ,yoga, art of all sorts ,nature, shamanism, therapy (?art and animal therapy), emdr, tapping , tong ren vitamins and fishoil
I see an acupuncturist and recieve osteopath manipulation regularly
I hope to one day give others professionally acupressure and mindfulness training. I put a lot of faith in healing yourself. I like to use a mix of eastern and western medicine as there are benefits to both. I feel like our culture as a whole has been totally over-medicated. I can see the usefulness of pharmaceuticals but it is crucial we are each given tools to heal and soothe ourselves. When it comes to PTSD there is no medicating it out of you. I have had great success with therapies that retrain your brain. I think it is the way to go when dealing with PTSD and being able to unstick the traumatic merry go round
Willard Colebank, Another Field, Saint Mary , MO, USA says
Good stuff. Thank you for the free advice. Sure wish I could get rid of these memories
Even though I have dimentia I keep remembering new things from my past trauma. Even trauma I caused to others. I will talk to my MST therapist at Jefferson Bararracks.
Martha Torres, Another Field, San Antonio , TX, USA says
I would ask why do they feel that way..
Petrina Budden, Another Field, GB says
I have dealt with trauma by forgiveness. Which is an act of will and it has helped.
Cindy Whyte, Nursing, CA says
I am a person who suffers from ptsd. I lost my son in 2009 due to an accident. I don’t agree with the part about not talking about it. I needed to talk about my son and my husband didnt. It caused a lot of stress and I felt unsupported and angry. It lead me to also suffer from depression and anxiety. There were no support groups at that time and my counsellor had never lost a child so despite getting help I still felt very alone in my journey. Two years ago I started a chapter of The Compassionate Friends. Here we sit and talk about our children, many of us suffer with ptsd. I have seen the change in many because they are free to talk about their experience and feel understood. It has helped me as well by helping others. We are a society who puts our feelings aside and puts on another face to go out in public. We are taught to keep our feelings to ourselves, or suck it up, get over it. Our mental health has suffered because people don’t or won’t talk about it.
Dawn Clarke, Counseling, GB says
I find this difficult at times, depending how ingrained this avoidance technique goes. I help them focus on there process, feelings by just being with them and focusing my reflection on their feelings rather than the content. I also reflect the power to make them feel joe blogs has over them in the hope they will take it back.
Jo Lewis, Other, McPherson , KS, USA says
Practicing mindfulness. Working with at risk youth, I find that this can be very challenging as being still and being in the moment is very difficult for a teen (anyone) with high ACEs and low Resilience. But it is a good start.
William, Student, Grand Forks, ND, USA says
This is very interesting and rings true for me.
Ash, Nursing, Athens, OH, USA says
Self responsibility
Pastor Carrie Moore, Clergy, Guthrie, OK, USA says
Many times we work on the inner child. When trauma happens when we are a child, the area in our life that is traumatized, needs healing.
Frances nugent, Another Field, CA says
I have live with s verbal abusive husband and still with him after 40 years . He has destroyed my life, my love for him and my joy and my heart . He gas cycles just verbal and mental abuse. Every time he does it all the things he has said comes rushing to my head , every bad thing he has ever said and called me. He also had an abusive childhood sad
Marilyn, Nursing, AU says
His perseption is not your responsibility.
antonia treverton, albuquerque, NM, USA says
You must get help outside your marriage.
Noname Please, Other, Jacksonville , FL, USA says
I’m so sorry you’ve had to endure this for so long. I know it is a very painful experience. I am 4.5 years divorced and didn’t realize how awful it was until I left. Just try to separate yourself from him… I believe I checked out mentally along time ago. Now it’s like how could I allow this to happen.
Sandy Darr, Other, Saegertown , PA, USA says
Certain types of trauma leave you feeling fat and ugly ,totally useless. Loss of self confidence. Can’t ever do anything right. Waste of life. Waste of time. Sometimes is is a burden we carry for the rest of our lives. No hope.It affects our loved ones as well. Such a looser. No beauty or faith anymore!
J. Ellison, Counseling, Somersworth, NH, USA says
Learning to speak to your inner traumatized child as the adult survivor you are helps you regain perspective and strength to change old tapes and beliefs.
Sonia bell, Other, AU says
I think art and music are keeping me sane.
At 53 I was recently asssulted by my partner and he subsequently had a massive heart attack and died on my kitchen floor
Since that day I have had 9 different events involving acts of violence,intimidation and treats.
My escape my car.
I am homeless and have lost everything and at this stage in my life it is a freedom like I have never ever known.
Kristan, Teacher, GB says
Hello, what are the chances that I could actually meet with Bessel van der Kolk? Is this the author of the book about the body?
Thankyou,
Kriatan
Pamela, Another Field, Farmersville, IL, USA says
I find my trama that i experienced many times over have returned even stronger in my older life. One of my abusers passed away and when i found that out i felt all the pain come back. I never told him how much he messed my thoughts up, how i have suffered since i was so little
One is still alive (they were teenage cousins.) I obsessed with telling him i remember
You two thought i forgot. I never forgot. I am over protective of my little grandchildren. I always tell them dont let anyone mess with you. No matter how the adult or kid tries to convince you its all your fault
Run and tell your trusted adult. I am trying to get these feelings out of my head
They are so much worse since i got older
Thank you