Working With Your Client’s Traumatic Memories
with Bessel van der Kolk, MD
and Ruth Buczynski, PhD
Sometimes we remember what seem like the smallest, most insignificant details of our lives – an 8th grade locker combination, a story heard at a party years ago, or all the lines from a favorite movie.
These memories – full of facts, words, and events – are explicit memories.
But there are different kinds of memories – ones that are evoked by sights, sounds, or even smells.
For example, the smell of coffee percolating atop a gas stove could bring back Sunday afternoons around the table with beloved grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
On the other hand, being surprised by the scent of a particular aftershave, for instance, could elicit feelings of fear, panic, or even terror.
A person who was traumatized as a child might re-experience the all-too-familiar sensations of quivering in fear or breaking out in a cold sweat.
And it may have very little to do with the verbal thought process of, “Oh, this reminds me of the incident of my father hitting me.”
Traumatic memory is formed and stored very differently than everyday memory.
So let’s take a closer look at what happens when a person experiences trauma.
What Happens When the Brain Can’t Process Trauma
Dr. Van der Kolk: If a person was abused as a child, the brain can become wired to believe, “I’m a person to whom terrible things happen, and I better be on the alert for who’s going to hurt me now.”
Those are conscious thoughts that become stored in a very elementary part of the brain.
But what happens to adults when they become traumatized by something terrible they’ve experienced?
Simply put, the brain becomes overwhelmed. That’s because the thalamus shuts down and the entire picture of what happened can’t be stored in their brain.
So instead of forming specific memories of the full event, people who have been traumatized remember images, sights, sounds, and physical sensations without much context.
And certain sensations just become triggers of the past.
You see, the brain continually forms maps of the world – maps of what is safe and what is dangerous.
That’s how the brain becomes wired. People carry an internal map of who they are in relationship to the world. That becomes their memory system, but it’s not a known memory system like that of verbal memories.
It’s an implicit memory system.
What that means is that a particular traumatic incident may not be remembered as a story of something that’s happened a long time ago. Instead, it gets triggered by sensations that people are experiencing in the present that can activate their emotional states.
It’s a much more elementary, organic level of a single sensation triggering the state of fear.
A person might keep thinking about the sensation and say, “Oh, this must be because it reminds me of the time that my father hit me.”
But that’s not the connection that the mind makes at that particular time.
How the Lack of Context Impacts Treatment
So what difference will it make in our work, knowing that a traumatic memory was encoded without context?
It’s important to recognize that PTSD, or the experience of trauma is not about the past. It’s about a body that continues to behave and organize itself as if the experience is happening right now.
When we’re working with people who have been traumatized, it’s crucial to help them learn how to field the present as it is and to tolerate whatever goes on. The past is only relevant in as far as it stirs up current sensations, feelings, emotions and thoughts.
The story about the past is just a story that people tell to explain how bad the trauma was, or why they have certain behaviors.
But the real issue is that trauma changes people. They feel different and experience certain sensations differently.
That’s why the main focus of therapy needs to be helping people shift their internal experience or, in other words, how the trauma is lodged inside them.
How Talking Can Distract a Client from Feeling
Now, in helping people learn to stay with their sensations, we need to resist the temptation to ask them to talk about their experience and what they’re aware of.
This is because talking can convey a defense against feeling.
Through the use of brain imagery, we’ve learned that when people are feeling something very deeply, one particular area of the brain lights up.
And we’ve seen other images taken when people are beginning to talk about their trauma and, when they do, another part of the brain lights up.
So talking can be a distraction from helping patients notice what is going on within themselves.
And that’s why some of the best therapy is very largely non-verbal, where the main task of the therapist is to help people to feel what they feel - to notice what they notice, to see how things flow within themselves, and to reestablish their sense of time inside.
Why Restoring the Sense of Time Can Make Emotions More Bearable
All too often, when people feel traumatized, their bodies can feel like they’re under threat even if it’s a beautiful day and they’re in no particular danger.
So our task becomes helping people to feel those feelings of threat, and to just notice how the feelings go away as time goes on.
The body never stays the same because the body is always in a state of flux.
It’s important to help a patient learn that, when a sensation comes up, it’s okay to have it because something else will come next.
This is one way we can help patients re-establish this sense of time which gets destroyed by the trauma.
Sensations and emotions become intolerable for clients because they think, “This will never come to an end.”
But once a patient knows that something will come to an end, their whole attitude changes.
Now we'd like to hear from you. How will you use these ideas on traumatic memory in your work with your patients?
Please leave a comment below.
Angela Morgan, Other, CA says
I HAVE PTSD. I’m looking for information. Books to read maybe. Shrinks where I live dont believe PTSD is “real”. Lunatics running the asylum here. This is the first hope I’ve had for a long time. I just have no safety still and consider myself lucky I’ve managed to survive and keep the newest people who want rid of me to make room for people they believe are more important and in more need than I am because I am functional until I’m alone. I cry a lot. Afraid to talk because anything I say is used to manipulate me or because I said that now someone will somehow find out and harass me or be phoney nice to me and make me withdraw and feel more anxiety when wanna be shrinks or just people maybe trying to help harass me more claiming trying to help me. Cant ask me what I want what would make me “happy”. Frustrating. I was actually mute and had to learn to use my mouth as if I was a newborn words just wouldnt form. Police added abuse when I and still I have some sort of dark blue covering the face of the main leader of the assaults that opened pandora box of traumas my brain had been keeping previous traumas in so I could function. Head spinning now. Have to stop. I cant look at people’s faces or in their eyes most of the time. people have not been good to me. Dont dare try to tell ME I’m blaming. I have been scapegoated and suffered because of identity theft and because I focused on my education and being a mother and blocking out trauma so I could do that. All anyone seems to want is for me to get a man. Something about me men want to hurt. Women always saw me as competition or a threat. Stop
kathy, Other, tri-cities, WA, USA says
It seems like the malignant narcissists in your life are gaslighting you…and turning your other mutual attachments (ie if your sister…turns your family,) … int their “flying monkeys.” Feel free to run a search for any terms above. When I started desperate searching for understanding to what who was hiding and when they were gonna play me next…and why. My dominating narcissist destroyed my childhood. my parenthood. my kids. Is never accountable for disturbing long range events and trends. She literally committed felonious acts with intent and malice, with boldness in a family court, then sneaking/hiding my kids 3 states away for a month…Honey, I feel you. Please, if you are able, find a regular room mate. learn again to no longer fear them and now knowing they’re just wired twisted and are unsafe for your internal well being. relearn to treat yourself as you would (CHOOSE TO ) have others treat you. God bless & keep you safe.
Angela Morgan, Other, CA says
Gaslighting is a term when I first saw a definition of it that set off big alarms and was helpful because I knew it was my situation but never heard that term before. I dont know if you were replying to me but your post is helpful. I will look the other references up. I’ve found most “breakthroughs” in books. Feeling Good was THE book that really changed my life for the better and my perspective. When I told a shrink but couldn’t find the book to read it again he said it was a dangerous book in the wrong hands??? A butter knife can be dangerous in the wrong hands too. Books have always been my friends. I have a problem obviously with panic and too much to say that are somehow related. Need to talk but talking causes me panic. I’m working on that. Thanks for the references.
Marci Conors, Another Field, Chase City, VA, USA says
The US military believes PTSD real and uses effective therapies to treat it. EMDR and ART are often successful.
Monica Silva, Nursing, AU says
A problem is never 1 person’s issue I’v come to realise , but 1 person can choose to walk away, of course there are many different circumstances.
Pam Hammond, Social Work, Tiffin, IA, USA says
Excellent descriptions and explanations. Thank you.
Nicole Sacco, Other, CA says
I have had trauma on top of trauma, this makes sense to me, logicaly. But as you may well understand, it does not end there. How does one get passed the layered effect lives can give us? And if the brain lights up in areas when feeling deeply, you might want to light this one up. lol I’m finding I get a multi layered effect of traumatic experiences and whole new experiences are coming from that…..And not so good. The fact that people are so seperated and non connecting hinders progress, so I process most of this alone. And what would really help is just a gentle touch. But this dosen’t always work. My Husband will try to connect and depending where or how his body is possitioned affects me in the most obscure ways? And he is the gentlest man ever…. Any suggestions?
Ester Koenig, Health Education, Fresno, CA, USA says
I as a child always had fear as I grew in a war zone (israel) and than married a controlling American man who had braught me to the United state. I divorced him with two of his children 12 years later.
A year later I broke my anckel and little I knew that I would wake up after 5 hours of surgery a
different person…tons of anxiety and panic attacks to deal with..
My question is 1). Did the Anastasia caused changes and triggered a chemical imbalance in my brain??? Or 2) Did the trauma triggered
Fears that where not delth with from the past???
I know this is a long comment but your help and answer will be greatly appreciated!
Esti
Leah Rains, Another Field, Tallahassee, FL, USA says
Injury recall technique IRT pioneered by a chiropractor made a tremendous difference! It is not what I suggest to people first but if you have had counseling, EMDR & other therapies w/ limited success – it is a short term body nervous system technique. Also Trager & Feldenkrais body work. Excellent movement based therapies for self soothing.
Afrouz z, Nursing, GB says
I am doing my PhD in the refugee process impact on the mental health of Kurdish refugee. I think this information will be very useful for readers.
Faye Lawrence, Counseling, GB says
I am not fully experienced in this but I find that letting people talk and take the conversation where they want to (without allowing them to stray too far), seems to help
Jude, Another Field, CA says
I agree. Instead we spend time talking with people who will not let us speak, interrupt, and or ignore and change subject before we even get a chance to clarify, finish our thoughts and or a sentence, etc..plus its automatic these sorts of conversations will leave us at a further loss, until we understand that our voice is not to be quieted or treated as unimportant. Too many are eager to label our energy as negative when yes the experience of trauma is negative yet its very positive to be finding our way through to overcoming SO, there is nothing negative in that, only negative is having people act like bullies when communicating.
Ella Morris, Other, Delphi near Purdue College, IN, USA says
Help me to help others in groupc
Councseling. Been through the mental and physical. A lot of the girls are in there 20s 30 raising there child and baby( grand ). Thank you it was down loading. I will keep you informed..
Tygrr FitzSapien, Other, AU says
And when it’s medical trauma? For problems (ie;medical malpractice & assault/adverse reactions) with treatments of degenerative conditions? Sometimes it’s about accepting that you got the short straw. You are the person bad things will keep happening to. Diddums. It happens.
Terica Brown, Student, Camden, AR, USA says
Exceptions is not the problem with the issue of trauma. I am assuming you never have been beating half to death and had to hear someone tell you nasty things that you started believing or was rapped at all ages of your life or had to remove yourself from your own home at the 8 grade because your mom also was a abusive drunk. Yes, bad things happen to everyone. I am not a victim and this is my story, but being a survivor took a lot of healing and excepting is the first step on recovery. You make it sound so easy. I still wash dishes and back flashes of my abuser. I had to train my mind. I moved off to a new city with a bag and 20 bucks. Now in 8 months later fixing to open up a art gallery and I am a photographer. Working on a ladies support group will become a outreach program. God bless you. Thanks for your helpful notes
Naomi Chapman, Medicine, GB says
An empiress reclaiming her power
?????
? devine Feminine rising ?
?????
I love this!!!!!
Keep up the good work! Create, share heal!!!!
Woman’s groups r the way forward s!!!! ?! Moon circles, wise women gatherings, womb power is AMPLIFIED when woman gather with the intended purposes to share learn teach speak truth honour one another heal our selves from centuries of ridicule and abuse.
Forgive self.
Loose Ur mind find Ur ?
U r an inspiration ?
Keep on shining ?
Love love x
Jude, Stress Management, CA says
I agree. Instead we spend time talking with people who will not let us speak, interrupt, and or ignore and change subject before we even get a chance to clarify, finish our thoughts and or a sentence, etc..plus its automatic these sorts of conversations will leave us at a further loss, until we understand that our voice is not to be quieted or treated as unimportant. Too many are eager to label our energy as negative when yes the experience of trauma is negative yet its very positive to be finding our way through to overcoming SO, there is nothing negative in that, only negative is having people act like bullies when communicating. IF one needs to address a certain person re a situation and they won’t listen, instead of trying further its best to not speak, write it out in a text, letter, or the mail, this will guarantee full clarity to first yourself, then if you do send the note, re the item you’ll find closure enough to rise from the ashes instead of confused by both the situation coupled with being
bullied.
Trudy, Other, Minneapolis , MN, USA says
I read the book “The body keeps the score” and it totally changed my life. Thank you very much for doing this research.
Colleen Hayes, Nursing, AU says
I have that book but I am still unable to read it. I find it difficult to tackle anything that requires a deal of concentration due to my PTSD. I try to control my anxiety through mindfulness and relaxation techniques. It works sometimes but not all the time. I don’t know how to get rid of the nightmares and “triggers”.
Carrie Ferr, Nursing, GB says
Perhaps they do the book in audio ?
I don’t think we can ever rid ourselves of the triggers, but remembering to go straight into mindful technique and waiting for the ‘here and now’ feeling to pass, can be one way to cope.
I meditate in bed (like self hypnosis)to cope with dreams, to go into such a deep sleep in the start seems to make body feel more recovered from the day, and I wake up less.
Lesley Adamson, Psychology, AU says
Please read the book. You can read it in small chunks. This will ensure you dont panic. You might be able to read more as time goes by.
T Miers, Other, GB says
My movement psychotherapist spends much of our sessions getting me to drop into my sensations, to feel what is going on. If i pull out of thatinto anxiety whilst i am talking to her she srops me and gets me to reconnect and drop in again. Done right, a combination of talk therapy with body awareness is very powerful. And very helpful!
Grania Haigh, Another Field, GB says
Oh yes! And my experiences with SE therapy and vipassana meditation have certainly bourne this out. Paricularly in building tolerance for trauma driven emotion and experientially learning that it does pass .
Laura Ibbott, Other, GB says
Thank you very interesting helping me to undstand more about my self
Norrie Shaw, Teacher, CA says
Wow I now understand a bit more about my ptsd
Thank you
Ramona Kauth, Psychotherapy, GB says
I have found Person-Centred Art Therapy to be very effective.
Cindy Holmes, Social Work, CA says
I really found this interesting and very enlightening actually.I have been living with traumatic memories for quite some time and I am trying to overcome these memories. It has been a very difficult journey but I think I am learning to reconstruct my pathways in my brain from negative thoughts and emotion to more positive thoughts and emotion.I still find myself needing to sit with the feelings and the body trimmer and try to figure those things out and at the same time and bracing what’s going on inside me it has been a challenge I’m sometimes detrimental because of the relationship that I am currently in. Thank you for this article and for enlightening me.
Cindy Prefer not to share, Social Work, CA says
I really found this interesting and very enlightening actually.I have been living with traumatic memories for quite some time and I am trying to overcome these memories. It has been a very difficult journey but I think I am learning to reconstruct my pathways in my brain from negative thoughts and emotion to more positive thoughts and emotion.I still find myself needing to sit with the feelings and the body trimmer and try to figure those things out and at the same time and bracing what’s going on inside me it has been a challenge I’m sometimes detrimental because of the relationship that I am currently in. Thank you for this article and for enlightening me.
Rita Oak, Other, GB says
Hi I don’t work with others but am in thrapy with a counseller and have had a bad week with past things issues coming at me like I am on fast cicle on the washing machine and it’s hard to stop them like hale hitting me over and over but a friend surgest ed U draw pictures about it and write it down like in cartoon captions. It as helped me lounds to get it out my head even though other issue replace it I find it easer to handle and will if U gave courage be discussing with my counseller .so if I can’t told at least she can understand and see what’s been going on for me . Thank you for the info and in sight.xxx
Kelly Schwartz, Nursing, CA says
I have PTSD. At times it does help to go to my quiet place.
Unfortunately it is insidious. I never know when it will rear it’s ugly head.
I have found that information is very important for me. If I know what is going to happen, It bothers me less.
The element of surprise is not a good thing for me, especially if I am going to have any kind of medical procedure which was the cause of the PTSD.
I am a Registered Nurse and I keep my pt’s and families informed constantly. It decreases their anxiety and contributes to a better outcome.
Mitc, Student, CA says
Just being brutally honest and controlling the rage I feel when re-enacting the traumatic experiences such as confidence building, sex, identity finding is a little helpful. What’s even a bigger help is having a cornerman in life. But I know there are some things missing or not done appropriate because I still fall back in to having no trust in anyone and reflecting on my actions and behaviour in overly critical sense. Meditation and self belief I think are the tools I’m not using
A C, Another Field, Edmond, OK, USA says
I hear you…the anger is my most difficult obstacle.
Sherrie Gustafson, Nursing, Yakima, WA, USA says
God bless u have a place. I pray u get to enjoy for the rest of your life.
Yep..
So many of us on this search and help ourselves
Vicky Kenny, Teacher, CA says
As a survivor of abuse, I understand this words from the inside. In my own experience, not only just the brain shuts down at the moment of becoming a victim, but also you dissociate yourself in order to survive in that moment, you might even have an out of body experience, what makes it even more difficult to make sense of whatever happened afterwards, when you are in a “safe” space. It is like pieces of that fragmented memory are all scattered in your body/mind, and it almost feel like it was not real… feeling extremely cold, the smells of the room or ambience where it happened, a perfume, a body odor, smoke… even smells that we cannot even recognize can be triggering at any time.
It is important to acknowledge that verbal individual therapy is usually irrelevant, unnecessary, and in most cases retraumatizing. A holistic approach was much more useful to me in order to find the tools that gave me the courage to travel inside and untangle the scattered memories, like putting together a huge puzzle. It took years of individual therapy, Art therapy, Yoga Therapy, and Dance Therapy to create a toolbox big enough to hold a safe space in order to build the puzzle and put the pieces together in a way that made sense, if that could be the case… that is the main issue: that what happened in trauma does not make sense, it is something that was never supposed to happen and that you would never imagine it could happen to anyone and least yourself. It is a solitary, scary and dark journey within that we need to commit with, in order to retrain our brains and nervous system, so we can guarantee that whatever happened is in the past, and it will not happen again. Yoga and Mindfulness have been the most useful resources for me, being anchored in the Present moment, avoids for the flashbacks to come back, and for the story to have that heaviness that does not allow you to live in the now, enjoying your life and fulfilling your potentials as a Human Being.
I am feeling so grateful for all the work that has been done so far to understand how to better guide survivors to a safe space within yourself. The key to that is to empower them with the certainty that no matter how hard or how impossible it looks like to find the Light and the Joy in your Life, all the resources for Healing are within yourself… and it is only your journey, and no one elses. A unique path that you will have to figure out on your own (with some guidance of course), trusting that life will bring the right Mentors and Teachers so you can learn how to feel safe in your skin again, and you can breath deeply, fully in the safe space of the Now.
Rita Oak, Other, GB says
Thank you the git it so right but I feel I need to look at my past to make sense of it counseling is enabling to do this . Intestine that you say art therapy as I am finding this helpful but wish could find one in my area fir support might ask my counseller thank you .thank you xxx
A C, Another Field, Edmond, OK, USA says
I hear you…the anger is my most difficult obstacle. I am 3 yrs in recovery….got married…now my husband’s children are being abusive….reopens wounds. So, we cut ties. Still, hard to be centered on self when constantly retriggered.
Sherrie Gustafson, Nursing, Yakima, WA, USA says
God bless u have a place. I pray u get to enjoy for the rest of your life.
Yep..
So many of us on this search and help ourselvesAmen. I understand totally
Marlene Thompson, Another Field, CA says
Without getting into to much detail…As kids when our step father and Mom were fighting or things were bad or we had just been punished by a very hard step father (who had never had kids and was faced with nine) we would do this thing called WaWa and sing…we would sit on the couch and bounce back and forth, hand folded on lap and sing. Sing every song we knew. I would say as children experiencing trauma it was a really good tool because we could sing a happy or sad song and escape the moment. Then as an adult when those traumas come up the one thing that can settle my system, blood pressure and nerves is guided meditation and music. I sit with it for 5-10 minutes and things go back to normal.
James Cale, Another Field, Massillon, OH, USA says
I’ve experienced trauma myself. I am a two time Iraq war combat vet. Even with counseling the trauma stays with me. My life is better than it was but still lots of work to do
Patricia f, Other, CA says
Nice read…thank you. I agree, Im a survivor and I dislike talking details. It is of no benefit in my eyes….trauma is trauma lets fix it (wink)
Deborah Tud, Counseling, Murrieta , CA, USA says
Art therapy, collage’, body painting (s) + trace & collage’ body, smashing thrift store dishes while shouting _______, splash paint (etc.), musiic, DANCE
Monica Devine, Another Field, AU says
Love it – great suggestions thanks Deborah
K K, Other, Big Sandy, TX, USA says
My intellect knows that something else will come along but my heart and emotions relive every thing over and over again and much of it with out specific memory recall as you stated above, but just knowing it was bad. My ex husband said I said things I do not remember saying at all and had I of been me, or thinking clearly, I never would have said them. It is what I believe ruined my marriage and now I relive that 24/7 as well as passing of my dad. No way of dealing effectively as it’s there 24/7 but I try to meditate on the word, His promises, and prayer.
It’s all just so painful and unbelievable to me.
Rita Oak, Other, GB says
Hi I hear you Loud and clear I too feel like this at min but I now with the help of mother earth and the support of like minded friends it will pass . So please don’t give up find some thing that . Norishes your soil and do it mine is singing swimming and being with friends who hug . Not easy but what did you like to do as a child . Do what gives you joy if only for awhile . Xxx hugs and thoughts to you xxx
Lorraine Scott, Another Field, Fort Wayne, IN, USA says
What, specifically, do you mean by “they hide they did something wrong too”?
How does this relate to the original article and the trauma sufferer’s auto-response to stimuli? What exactly did I miss?
How does a person diagnosed with Critical PTSD have blame for childhood abuse of any form? How does any person suffering PTSD hold blame for any auto-response to stimuli related to the cause of that PTSD?
Please, please clarify.
Brandy Williams, Another Field, Alexandria, LA, USA says
I’ve experienced psychological, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse as a child and as an adult. I also witnessed some horrific things in the military.
I was 35 before I finally started getting counseling, and it was the death of my father that triggered 30 years of trauma at once, trauma I thought I had dealt with. Just prior to everything coming back, I had a professor who fell in love with my writing, and she encouraged me to write a memoir after reading a memoir paper I wrote for her class. We developed a strong relationship, and at times, emails to her were like diary entries. She only responded when need be. It was seeing my writing change that made her realize something was off.
On her advice, I went to counseling. Told myself I respected her enough to go once. I saw my counselor weekly for the next year and a half. Like someone else mentioned, she worked on talking through things, peeling back the layers. When I struggled to Express how I felt, I’d write to her. And then we’d hear our next session at that.
When the memories are overwhelming and I can’t sleep, I write. I write until I find answers. Sometimes, that’s 30 minutes. Sometimes, that’s all night.
I’ve struggled to write since my mom died 2 years ago, and I feel that has significantly increased my depression. I’m not able to put it on the page and work through it. Two weeks ago, during a Bible study, I finally wrote. 8 pages and 4 hours later, I got 45 minutes of rest prior to getting ready for work. I sent it to my pastor. After reading it, he wondered how I was still alive or how I hadn’t killed anyone. The next night, I slept more peaceful than I had in ages. I ended up sharing it with a small church group, and I was a mess, trying to read it.
I think the problem is that we are too afraid to let people know what we’ve been through. We close ourselves off so we don’t get hurt again. We have to understand that if something was done to us, then the fault lies with the attacker and not the attacked.
So this is where I have some issue with some of the comments, stating that people will only heal if they accept what fault belongs to them.
First off, a child being sexually or physically abused is never at fault, no matter what. And that’s what those statements insinuate. A woman who is raped is not at fault, regardless if she was drinking, at a bar with friends, or wearing a skirt. No one made a man attack her. If part of the medical community is providing therapy with the notion that these women are somehow to blame for what happened to them, then I feel sorry for those clients.
Do things happen and it is our fault? Absolutely. If I drink and drive and kill someone, then I’m to blame and no one else.
I’ve had 2 therapists that talk things through with me and allowed me to write, and I felt the most comfortable and productive with them. I had another therapist who gave me some chart where I had to write down words and then write down how it made me feel. It didn’t work for me. I don’t write that way. Anytime I shared my own writing with her, she was too dense to understand metaphors and always thought I was talking about fantasy. So I quit seeing her because I didn’t feel like she was beneficial at all.
I’ve had a lot of trauma the last 7 years, and with each situation, more stuff comes up. So I take up the pen when I can. Other things that have helped have just been creative outlets that feel therapeutic: drawing, remodeling my house, painting, and wood working.
j m, Another Field, Gilbertown, NY, USA says
Part of my past abuse involved hypnosis and psychological abuse, so I’m uncomfortable with most meditation techniques. What I have found works well for me instead is coloring a mandala. It works for making time go “normally,” and also helps if I’m upset. It also gets me in tune with my body and my emotions, as I have to focus on these when I decide which colors I want to use. The mandala patterns are very soothing in their consistency, and something about that makes me feel like everything is going to be okay. The universe will continue to create its “master patterns (like the Fibonacci sequence, which is in many mandala patterns).”
Carolyn Caroline, Nursing, Philly , PA, USA says
I say things like, I notice how you are tensing up. Feel how your heart is beating. Take a breath. I have them put a hand on thier chest. I try to help them tune into the natural flow of thier body literally living. What we feed will grow. They are missing thier sense of self when overwhelmed by these emotions. By tuning into themselves they are able to have a healthy perspective and get in touch with thier reality,thier trauma and orient themselves in the present. We are naturally occurring. Its a matter of embracing the emotion and allowing onesself to actually feel the fear, not just count through it.
CindyLou Houston, Another Field, Lewis, CO, USA says
Carolyn, I like how you bring them back to their biological body functions, the beating heart, breath, organs working. I think this physical connection can be key to bringing the client into the now and notice that the body is still in it’s current motion, doing it’s everyday stuff (“we are naturally occurring”) and it’s the mind that distracts from that, letting the emotions overrun the rest of the systems. And that to simply FEEL the fear is ok, feeling it allows it to move up and out rather than to have the story run itself over and over again in the mind. Also knowing they are not alone but rather being witnessed and held in safe space as they move through that scary emotion, then come out on the other side, hopefully, with a sense of connection.
CindyLou Houston, Another Field, Lewis, CO, USA says
At this time I am still gaining knowledge and education to work with people using yoga as a form of release for past trauma and beliefs. This is a wonderful topic and great opportunity for me to practice how I may respond and work with someone who is having a traumatic experience present in the body during a yoga practice or in a private session.
I believe if I was presented with the above scenario I would ask the client to notice what’s coming up, notice the sensation(s) in the body, that we are not looking outside or in the past for someone or something to blame, only to take the current sensation happening and identify how they can move forward from here. Maybe they notice they get warm, anxious, angry or have a rapid heart beat when they remember or think about the person/thing they want to blame. I would then ask them to give the sensation some kind of expression through movement of the body either in a dynamic yoga posture or whatever other form of movement they feel appropriately expresses the sensation. Having them hold this movement to allow the sensation to be expressed fully and completely, changing it up as many times as necessary to be sure to get it all out. Once they come to stillness, which may include shedding of tears or other releases, I might ask them to make a statement acknowledging the person/thing they use to blame and forgive or honor them for holding that place for them to heal. From here I would then ask them to follow it up with another movement that will counter the negative sensation with something more nurturing and calming. After asking them to check back in with their body (always bringing it back to the sensation in the body), if the current expression is feeling like it counters the negative sensation previously experienced, I would then ask them come up with a positive affirmation or a mantra that will align with the positive sensation to powerfully move them forward.
Jenny Davies, Another Field, AU says
Encourage them to see the situation in a different way we all make mistakes so what we need to do now is to eliminate this situation happening again
Marianne Kaspar, Psychotherapy, AU says
I find myself returning time and again to the Serenity Prayer (even though my relationship with ‘God’ is not religiously defined).
“God, grant me
the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can and
the wisdom to know the difference.”
More often than not, the thing we can hope to change is ourselves, even if it is only a little. Externals, too, can change, over time, often only with lots of backup from others. The first and most effective way to change things, however, is trying to find a way to change ourselves and this starts with *what* we think about things and then looking at *why* we think about things the way we do. The next step is to deliberately think about and do things differently from how we have done them before. We can’t hope to change by not being willing to change even a bit. That’s where the courage comes in, because change requires effort and can be a bit scary, since we don’t know what the outcome will really look and feel like, whether we will still be and feel safe and also whether we will get a positive reward for the effort of making ourselves do things differently.
Line Pelletier, Another Field, CA says
We can change everything, we are to lazy to really try.
Nicola Martin, Teacher, GB says
I am a bereaved mum training to be a counsellor. Lots of stuff I read about bereavement has not addressed this particular loss.
Sonia St, Counseling, GB says
I’m a talking therapist and believe that talking is the way forward but this has been food for thought! Thank you.
The answer to the above question for me has always been to strip back the layers so people are aware of their part in the action that they may have taken part in with great nurturing and understanding of why they have play that part! I work transparently when ever I know it’s not going to do any further damage. Thank you for the above.
Rosemary Sprakes, Teacher, GB says
Many times when caring for my mother when other family members thought they knew best AND tried every way to discredit me. Had to go into Court of Protection at great expense and a seriously bad time for me. waiting for the judgement. They did not win, my mother ‘s wishes granted.
Sharon Olso, Osteopathic Physician, kamuela, HI, USA says
I encourage the person to find the positive message since everything has a positive as well as a negative side. My childhood abuse made me who I am and I like who I am. Had the abuse not have happened, I might not have turned out to be who I am but because of the abuse I have been able to help others.
No matter how dark the cloud, there is a silver lining and it’s the clients challenged to find that silver lining.
Lorraine Scott, Another Field, Fort Wayne, IN, USA says
I do agree with you on the point that experiences and challenges vs the way we meet them (or don’t) is what makes us the person we become.
On my 40th birthday, my very last day of therapy after 12 years of counseling with psychiatrists/psychologists/therapists of all degrees, my therapist compared me to an “Israelite” having journeyed 40 years in the wilderness and finally coming out into my Promised Land.
I, being very much a spiritual person, greatly appreciated this analogy. She asked me if there was any one thing I could change about that 40 year journey What would it be? My response after just a very few seconds of reflection, “Not one thing, this past 40 years made me who I am today and I know I am a damn good person. No, I wouldn’t change a single thing.”
deb wiltshire, Other, CA says
i have had the label ptsd for 30 yrs having been sexually physical and emotionally abused by my step father for way too many yrs my mother knew ii have finally found a healing place in a small group here in Stratford Canada had a therapist convince me to work only on my inner chid ten yrs of being stuck in a chid victim state left me suicidal and worse sometimes i am not strong enough to do this alone but afraid of all therapists now and even my own gut fellings i dont trust thx for the post re reading now Deb
kristina vogt, Other, Houston , TX, USA says
I only know that when I start to remember the trauma because a word or words that I have seen or heard on TV and it takes me back to the traumas that I have been unable to process because I become over taken by fear and I try to get away from the fear by repressing it by not going outside of the fear, but stuffing the fears and not looking at them and going through them to get them out of me and start to heal. Have never been able to get over the fear I can’t get through them because I shut down and don’t get through it.
Nan Clarke, Another Field, syracuse, NY, USA says
I learned that depression or childhood trauma reenacted will change, it does not last forever. I learned that reminding others that over a timeline of a lifetime the length of an episode shortens because understanding can bring reason to know that waiting it out, learning to comfort and soothe yourself, it disipates like rainy puddles. When the sun comes out they soon are gone. The feeling of endlessness is punishing, the feeling of hunkering down like a cat waiting, knowing change is a constant, the pain mutates.
Cheist Kenavan, Counseling, AU says
EMDR
Amazing trauma therapist.. Sarah Miller
My story heard
Journaling
Instagram
? on trauma
Sharon Aldridge, Nursing, Los Angeles, CA, USA says
Got your link. p.s…hope Dr. van der Kolk is okay. I followed him for a while. He did good work.
Juels Edwards, Health Education, GB says
The only thing that has ever helped is love.
The love from my son, my real close friends & most importantly the love of Jesus. His love, if you can find the faith to believe in It, fills you up to overflowing. His peace transcends any peace that the world can give you.
All people people pit conditions on their love.
But not Jesus. All he asks is that you believe that he loved you enough to die for you.
Worship & praise songs help me to really feel that love, peace & safety.
Nothing else comes close
Diane Peagler, Other, Papillion, NE, USA says
This is true- and when its lacking- one can feel lost and hopeless
Denise Spooner, Coach, Peoria, AZ, USA says
Wow, excellent advice. I too have found healing thelrough Jesus where nothing and no one else has ever been able to help enough. Theophostic ministry has been SO incredibly beneficial for me to work through and get over my trauma and go on to help others so the same.
Im so very glad you found Jesus to be the Healer and Comforter you’d been looking for. God bless you!
Lorraine Scott, Another Field, Fort Wayne, IN, USA says
Thank you June, for your courage to proclaim your love for your’s & my Lord & Saviour, Jesus Christ. His love is the key to all healing.
Yes, a good Christian therapist or counselor is a wonderful help and a true Gift of God. But be sure you interview the therapist at your first appointment not vice versa.
Only make that 1st appt. after you have gotten references, referrals from a trusted Dr, searched for reviews from other patients and researched their credentials and the facilities credentials if that applies.
Jesus told us in His own Word, the NT Gospel, “Good News” that all the ‘Law’ of the Old Covenant & the New was Fulfilled in Love. 1st – Love wholly God the Father & Love our Neighbors as we Love Ourseves.
The Jewish man of authority asked Him “Who is my neighbor?” Then Jesus responded by giving the parable of ‘The Good Samaritan’.
When He was finished He asked the Jewish man “Who was his Neighbor? (referring to the beaten Jewish man that was ignored on the Road to Jerusalem by the 1st two paaerbys), and the Jewish man responded “The Samaritan”. Jesus told him he had answered correctly.
Friends, all Mankind are our neighbors, no matter who or where.
The biggest key to healing is Love. In true Love for all Mankind there is no sin that harms Man by any Means. No matter your beliefs, creeds or worship.
Everyone worships someone/something. Your soul/heart has it’s deepest treasure/pleasure rooted somewhere. Whether it’s the God/god of your choosing, work, hobby, fishing, a craft, a music genre you can’t be apart from, a cause or political action you can’t tear yourself away from, making money to build your bank account/savings/retirement/trust account/fund whatever.
Everyone worships, includingathiests and agnostics
Juels Edwards, Health Education, GB says
The only thing that has ever helped is love.
The love from my son, my real close friends & most importantly the love of Jesus. His love, if you can find the faith to believe in It, fills you up to overflowing. His peace transcends any peace that the world can give you.
All people people pit conditions on their love.
But not Jesus. All he asks is that you believe that he loved you enough to die for you.
Worship & praise songs help me to really feel that love, peace & safety.
Nothing else comes close
Del Web, Another Field, AU says
Hi Jules, you’ve had a lot of things happen to you and your family! I’m so glad you have Jesus and daily bread or you’d be in a much worse situation. Have a look at “Experiencing the court room of heaven” teaching . It may help you, blessings
Angela Drew, Other, TIFTON, GA, USA says
I may have PTSD. I feel like everyone I’d out to get me sometimes. I Don’t have a social life because..I Don’t know why. I Don’t understand!
Sam Marti, Nursing, Newport News, VA, USA says
It sounds like borderline personality disorder, not PTSD
Cyndi Alger, Another Field, CA says
I have suffered for years, sought help, got loaded down with drugs, shock therapy, etc. The “Mental Health” community in Canada harmed me horribly, permanently. In Canada, we have no right to compensation, this must be changed. I am 50 years old & cannot work due to the horrible, lasting side effects of the drugs & ECT. I begged for help & instead got treated like a lab rat. They destroyed my life. I hope they rot in Hell!
candia sullivan, Other, CA says
We must look at the facts and try to separate the feeling. It might be true that the resposibility is in part on the other person. However, its far more helpful to look at our part in it if we want to learn, heal and grow.
Acsent to true freedom Sami, Another Field, GB says
Simple body scan, physical cleansing of the body doing Tai Chi, yoga, chanting.
Vanessa Cottle, Another Field, AU says
Very interesting read and it makes sense why people still live out the trauma, and makes sense how the get stuck in the trauma in the present.