What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?
Although most of us have probably heard this euphemism before, a recent study looked at traumatic life experiences to see how true this saying really was.
Published in the Current Directions in Psychological Science, Mark D. Seery, PhD and his colleagues from the University of Buffalo, delved into the impact trauma has on individuals and whether or not it actually makes them psychologically stronger and more resilient.
Traumatic events like major natural disasters, sexual abuse, or the death of a loved one obviously incur psychological damage, so where does that saying come from?
It turns out that not enough adversity can be just as harmful as too much.
Dr. Seery and his colleagues found that people who experienced multiple traumatic events in their lives had high levels of global distress, functional impairment, and PTS (post-traumatic stress) symptoms.
But they also found that people who experience little to no traumatic life events had similar levels of distress, functional impairment, and PTS symptoms.
Their results identify a “sweet spot” in life, where you need to have had some hardships, but not too many, to have the highest life satisfaction and the lowest distress.
It’s important to experience some adversity in order to learn how to cope with the ups and downs of life.
If we want our patients to achieve this balance, we need to learn how to increase resilience. Even if someone has already experienced more trauma than they can handle, there is still a chance to build resilience and come back to a more balanced state.
As Dr. Seery puts it in the article, “Bad things are still bad things. This work does, however, suggest that experiencing adversity may have an upside—a silver lining—in that it may help foster resilience.”
You can find the entire article here.
To learn more about building resilience and healing trauma, check out our webinar series on the The Advanced Master Program on the Treatment of Trauma . You’ll learn about the latest treatments and how you can utilize these methods in your practice.
Does your experience show patients growing stronger as a result of adverse life experience?
I certainly have had toxic traumas in my life and im Spirirtualy stable and cope with stress now .I read an article in Kindred Spirit on this subject this week (issue172) its amazing how this subject rose its head at the right time in my life Thanks to you all for this …
As a therapist – I love the quote “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”
Wohh just what I was looking for, regards for posting .
constantly i used to read smaller posts that as
well clear their motive, and that is also happening with this piece of writing which
I am reading at this place.
The most horrendous times in my life have always had the final result of my becoming wiser, more patient, less frightened, and over-all a better problem-solver. But then I have the irrational belief of a un-seen ‘helpers’. Yes, a psychologist with spirituality. Certainly better to trust my holy spirit than to trust drugs or alcohol or ‘white knights. I now always say ‘thanks’ for whatever trouble is sent my way as I know I will grow from the experience.
After 40+ years of dealing with traumatic events (Army Psychologist and Police Psychologist), I’d say that Nietszche was right, sort of…
What does not kill you makes you stronger, if you master it. Facing the trauma, controlling the excess emotions (fear, anger, shame) associated with it and challenging the irrational beliefs about your own worth and capabilities (or lack) are all necessary elements in mastering it-building a sesnse of self-efficacy. If these things are done well, the trauma is “resolved”- resi;iency is built and the peson has a sesne of mastery that not only enhances their life but builds their confidence and skill for managing the next trauma. If these things do not happen, people are usually left with a sesnse of a lack of adequacy for meeting the next challenge and less satisfaction with them selves.
To quote dennis Miller, “That’s my oppinion, I may be wrong.M
mjmc
The one constant is the power of belief. If we believe we are forever damaged, condemn actions of others, and embrace professionals who confirm our beliefs we remain “damaged.” If we believe we are not the exception of all living things and are in fact hardwired to thrive in miraculous ways despite great trauma and adversity, and embrace teachers who affirm this, we do. If brain research has confirmed anything, it is that until anyone can construct a human being in a lab, critical we remain humble – and engage educators optimistic about our ability to thrive. Gina I am not a horse person but, your post touched me dearly. I hope you will consider posting a petition on change.org Choose who you want to hear your appeal and let’s give the forces of compassion an opportunity to heal. There is a lot of untapped love on this planet. You most assuredly have my love and prayers. Hugs! Mama Marlaine
I fully agree with what you said.In Pakistan life is like being in a war like situation.Both externally and internally there is chaos violence and uncertainity
The saying is actually a quotation from the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche.
Life is traumatic. Life is full of random moments that we attach meaning to, that is, we think about these moments, and then we feel and behave accordingly. When our thinking goes haywire, the random moment takes on a larger-than-life negative meaning, and we begin to ruminate, or go over that negative story over and over again, what people also call “racing thoughts”. The feelings that come from these racing thoughts? Worry, nervousness, anxiety, panic, and then sometimes despair. When we get stuck ruminating over these thoughts and feelings, we might be diagnosed by some as having symptoms of post-traumatic stress.
What’s interesting about this article is that people who haven’t had “traumatic” events in their lives also report symptoms of “post traumatic stress”. What on earth does THAT mean?! In my experience as a therapist, it proves the subjectivity of life experience. One person makes it through childhood sexual abuse, wars, deaths, destruction- and makes it out relatively unscathed. The next person reports being a broken-down mess because their parents got a divorce when they were 7, and they never got over it. One person’s “traumatic life experience” might just be another person’s “well, that sucked, but I’m still here, and can move forward with my life”.
This illustrates nicely the whole concept of cognitive behavioral therapy/rational emotive behavior therapy. The events themselves mean nothing. What we TELL ourselves about the events is what leads us to trouble. Cognitive behavioral therapy spends much less time wallowing in what it FEELS like (again, subjective) and more time helping you make sense of the event, and move on with your life.
I think this really speaks to and what Pat Ogden refers to as the Window of Tolerance.
Since there is no such thing as life without frustration disappointment, loss etc, the issue has less to do with the nature of the non traumatic event but on the person’s abilty to regulate there affective responses in order to recognise and cope with the event.
I agree with some of the premise but not with the ability to handle the trauma so PTSD does not happen, if I am understanding you correctly. The event itself.
Afterwards yes. from my healing journey, mindfulness turned into a spiritual practice and healing was passed a while ago. We, even childhood complex PTSD clients can be better than ever.
When my trauma integrated or my amygdala emptied, there was a hole where my thoughts dominated a low self image filled with doubt gujilt, shame. I remade my ego by reprogramming my ego with my true self as a guide. Daily affirmations were added and never again did I utter a negative word about me or entertain a negative thought. The left brain is a computer, we can program it.
Without changing our core all the rest of the healing is run by shame based person.
We heal by not giving attention to our ego ( thoughts) but direct our attention to our breath when thoughts, emotions or trauma fear grips us.
Ok, back to loss and suffering. life has granted us so many breaths then we wither. Anything impermanent that we attach to or pronounce a judgment on, that is we have laid down expectations, will eventually bring loss. A meal does not last for the rest of our lives. emotions come and go and are fleeting at times.so please never attach to them. What desire do we have that is permanent.
The less desire the greater chance for happiness. We will leave this planet the same day whether we worry our whole life or relax and be present. For us childhood trauma kids, we need to learn the only time happiness is available or life is the present moment. The past and future are distractions and are where trauma fuels and grows.
Thank you Beth for your beautiful post to Gina, I join in best healing wishes to you Gina from across the spectrum! And hi Marty, I recommend your wise, intriguing + encouraging c-ptsd blog to all.
thank you for the kudos and I also think the healing or loving kindness response by Beth to Gina quite exquisite.
PTSD is epidemic and young soldiers need help quick. Glad my childhood trauma waited till most of my young testosterone days were over before exploding.
Yes can I suggest we bring urgency and participation to the therapy session. Expect much more and means it from clients and see the improvements.
movement, mental action brings us out of victim stage to take responsibility.
Marty
Thanks for the chance to share and learn.
The foundation you have when the trauma hits can make a difference in integration: developmental stage, resources; is there a chance to recover (biochemically, physically, mentally, emotionally, in your spirit) between blows? It can be like being forced to learn calculus with only snippets of math background, or having to run a marathon with daily training on an injured or maimed leg that does not get a chance to heal. Knowledge can make a huge difference (thank you, Ruth+co.!)–from shame, “Why am I a jerk with no willpower?” to “Oh, there’s a reason for this, I acted well with what I had, now I have more — knowledge, resources, developmental building — and I can get better, with effort, understanding + Grace”.
Does anyone know of research regarding developmental stage + trauma integration + adaptation? I believe there may be a quantum jump at certain points, as with developing any skill with time + effort.
All that said…true healing partakes of the Mysterious!
Hi Gina! I just wrote you a long note and then it got erased. I was just trying to say that I pray that you will call upon all the courage and bravery and resilience that are part of who we are as horse women! I also have a horse and know that they are the most fun and healing creatures to be around but because of their keen fight or flight response always pose a risk of accidents such as yours. I hope that no matter what your dad does, you can imagine your brain healing day by day. You can spend time visualizing it healing and also imagine riding your horse when you felt safest and happiest and those good thoughts and images can help your brain to heal. Even if you are not able to do things now, you can go anywhere you like in your mind. Visualize you in your favorite place and take in all the sights and sounds and smells of that. The time spent visualizing can help your brain to heal and repair itself. I know you are a brave, courageous and resilient woman because that is how us horse women are. I will keep you in my prayers for healing. I had a traumatic brain injury once and although it took lots of time to heal, I learned and was drawn to the things that helped me. I hope that you find your way through this. Sending love from one horse woman to another. Beth
I had a head trauma when my horse fell onto me. He was scared by kids up a tree that threw stones at him while he was running home. Even though I was wearing a helmet my brain hit my own skull and I was in a coma for some time. I am still struggling to walk etc. I am back living with my father isolated from people. Not much of a life. He is not taking me to physio etc cos as he says money doesn’t grow on trees. But he is building himself a holiday cottage I can see from the house he lives in. So hell knows it is obviously more important to build a holiday house behind your current house than it is to help his daughter get better. Go figure. So I am just staring at the cieling and suppose to miraculously get better
I would say that statement is partially true.
What does not kill you makes you stronger,,if you integrate it.
if not misery and suffering will be your companions.