The window of tolerance is such an important concept when we’re working with trauma and dysregulation.
For clients who have experienced trauma, that window often becomes quite narrow.
They may space out and dissociate, or get too angry or anxious to focus. Or, they might fluctuate between hyper- and hypo-arousal. When they’re too far outside the window, it makes it difficult to continue the work of healing.
So what are some ways to help clients expand their window of tolerance and come back into it?
Ruth Lanius, MD, PhD and Bessel van der Kolk, MD offer some of their insights in the video below. Take a look – it’s under 5 minutes.
Click here for full transcript
Ruth and Bessel, together with Stephen Porges, PhD and Pat Ogden, PhD focus on: How to Help Clients Tolerate Dysregulation and Come Back From Hypoarousal as part of the Treating Trauma Master Series.
Now we’d like to hear from you. What have you found effective in helping clients learn to self-regulate? Please leave a comment below.
I use boxing as a medium. I find it particularly empowering for women who often make a positive connection with their body for the first time post trauma. Coupling exercises are also great to bring clients into the present.
I remember working with an autistic boy, who had also suffered from emotional and physical abuse. We used to roll a ball backwards and forwards between us at the beginning of sessions and that seemed to enable him to talk a little and be in the room with me before starting to use the musical instruments (I’m a music therapist, which is in itself a very body based type of therapy)
Thanks for these ideas. When I work with traumatized clients (craniosacral) I find that they often have difficulty bringing their awareness and their breath into their lower abdomen and lower back areas. As I hold my hands either beneath their feet or beneath their sacrum and coccyx, I help them to gently open their awareness to the first and second chakra areas, asking them to tell me what they feel there, pain or pressure or tension or nothing. Simply bringing awareness and breath to those areas has a way of bringing them into a deeper state of feeling grounded. While that is going on, I often will touch physically and with deep intention into the psoas, coccygeous, pyriformis and, if anger is an issue, liver, to create movement. Although I am grounded in the science of periodontal dentistry and cranial work, I believe that it is critical to recognize that much of our progress is still mysterious and operates outside of our best attempts at language.
I am also quite appreciating the series.
One alternative way to look at the idea of self-regulation is from Dr. Bonnie Badenoch. Here is a link to a free talk of hers that I love called, “The Myth of Self-Regulation.” Her jam is called IPNB–Interpersonal Neurobiology.
Thanks so much for sharing this link!! I agree that the healing comes from the interpersonal RELATIONSHIP and that it is really about mutual regulation rather than strictly self-regulation!
yes! thank you for this link – what a clear and thorough presentation.
Deep breath in, exhale slowly and say out loud “calm” in an extended “Caaaalllllmmmmm”, noting the feeling in the body of the sounds and vibrations coming out, as they change with the letters of the word. Repeat with “Reeeeellllaaaaxxxxxxxx”, noting again the sensations of each part of the word. Repeat back and forth, and invite the client to use their own words. Clients can be initially self-conscious to this, so I do it with them, bringing more volume that can help them elevate their own chant.
I have found a lot of success bringing clients into a more regulated state by incorporating guided meditations with them. I utilize the Insight Timer App. which is fabulous. I also have my own favorite guided exercises for decreasing hyper aroused clients. One is called “painting the feeling” where clients locate where the difficult emotions are in their body and what color the feeling is and then choose a different healing color to paint over the other color with a “magic paint brush.” One exercise I find a lot of success with is the “mind screen.” I ask clients to close their eyes and picture a blank movie screen. Then I ask them to picture their fear or feeling onto the screen. Then we explore brightening and dimming the picture and shrinking and eventually disappearing the feeling. I use a “basket” of other tools with clients and explore with them what they find helpful and what they don’t. For example some clients like to smell certain aromas, squeeze stress balls, or hold a stuffed animal.
sipping ice cold water….slowly….and to follow the sensation
of water entering their stomach..while saying: “i am cooling
my anger”.
I work with veterans with PTSD and chronic pain in the Vet TRIIP program. (I am not a therapist but have benefitted greatly from NICABM wisdom and especially from Bessel van der Kolk’s expertise.) Before we can address physical challenges with a 2-hour session of Qigong, Reiki, massage, chiropractic and acupuncture, we always step veterans through gentle stretching and opening rib cages; breathing in essential oils for relaxation; and tapping for lowering stress. At other times we offer Qigong, relaxing breathing and yoga classes. We do not provide counseling, but our veterans report better success with Prolonged Exposure and Cognitive Behavior Therapy elsewhere after they have practiced techniques learned at Vet TRIIP. Veterans are more likely to show up and adhere to therapy when they feel empowered with self-directed techniques for feeling better and calmer.
Thank you for your continued gems.
When I work with trauma survivors I let them lead the way. I tell them right from the start that we won’t work on going back until they’re ready to do it and not until we build up our relationship and they feel safety and trust in our environment and in their own outside environment. We might spend quite a few sessions looking into this. I could be missing the boat here but I did not find my clients feeling out of control when we worked on earlier history. Again I and the resistor and they are the ones wanting to go deeper. They feel like they are the ones in control.
I have used some Bal-A-Vis-X activities with clients at the beginning of sessions to assist them with getting centered and engaged. It’s especially helpful when clients have arrived for the session in an agitated or dysregulated emotional state. The Occupational Therapist in our clinic provides us with the information and supplies.
Dear Dr. Buczinski,
I am not a professional therapist but have suffered in the past from panic attacks. These comments from Dr. Lanius and Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk are so accurate in describing that when you are either hyper aroused or hypo aroused you are out of the zone. What has helped in the past is just walking while concentrating on my breathing. The breathing is the key and sometimes after a lengthy time, I am back in the zone of rationality. Fortunately I have been in therapy and hopefully continue to work out whatever has caused the panic situations. However one can never be sure as these panics arise suddenly and often without conception or reasoning.
I am so glad that at least you have brought this to the public surface and that you and your colleagues have recognized a very troubling situation.
Many thanks for your dedication.
Best,
Harriet Porto
In my practice I work from epithelium and that’s the direction I taken from I know where they’re coming from I’ve been there I’m one of the lucky ones they aren’t until they can connect with their innermost self and find that power to just take one tiny step I recognize that window of Tolerance when I first began my practice we use the term short fuse or small cap today we look at those windows we also look at the mirrors in those windows
This is a fantastic series on trauma management. I am learning so much. Thank you Ruth and fellow trainers for all your collective wisdom, knowledge and generous sharing.
Tapping on the meridians as per thought field therapy and energetic alignment work which involves working with acupressure points and the energetic field.
I am a physical therapist in Connecticut and work primarily with pediatric clients. A treatment technique I use is based on rhythm as Dr. Bessel van der Kolk mentioned activates the primitive areas of the brain. It is called Bal-A-Vis-X: Balance-Auditory-Vision-eXercises. It is a series of exercises using sand bags and racquet balls and often the use of a Brain Buddy Balance board. These exercises create hundreds of midline crossings (brain stem, midbrain and frontal region) that create a steady rhythmic beat. They can be modified as needed for young and old as well as neuro-typical clients (anxiety especially) and those with various physical, cognitive or emotional challenges. It improves the tracking ability of clients and helps get them out of “ocular lock” which is often seen in clients who experience trauma. I have many children on my cause load who have experienced various types of trauma: multiple medical procedures, exposure to drugs or alcohol in-utero, physical and emotional abuse, etc. Bal-A-Vis-X is also a social activity as it can be done in pairs or a group (once foundational exercises are learned for proper technique) or it can be done individually. I see many children on the spectrum and incorporating rhythm into their treatment sessions improves eye contact in a non-threatening manner as well as assists in creating emotional bonds. A two year old I was working with loved music. While she was standing, I met her where she was and she allowed me to hold her hands. I began rocking forward and backward, rhythmically, and continued for several verses. She eventually calmed and sat on my lap and we continued rocking, forward and backward and then side to side. Our session was over and she looked at her mother and raised her hands to be picked up and her mother hugged her. Her mother began to cry. She told me at our next session that following the rhythmical rocking her daughter reciprocated her hug for the first time in her life. Rhythm is the foundation for healing. Thank you for this series and all your time and effort that will affect so many in a positive way. Blessings to all on your and your patient’s journies.
Debbie,
Where can I see a video of that technique? I’m also interested at my son has autism and I call it swaying instead of rocking and I do it often with him. He always smiles when I do it with him. Let me know if you are awoof any other techniques for teens who are non verbal with autism. Thanks
MM, LCSW, LI
All from my personal experience with post traumatic stress and with a child who used to be on the spectrum. There is a natural tendency to rock and sway to self regulate just on their own within the so-called “autism spectrum” in fact that is a common symptom of diagnosis and it’s our bodies natural way of working on self regulating. Energy work and just shaking it out on purpose while pressing acupressure points or not also helps. Also grounding (earthing) over time has long term benefits of slowly self regulating.
Ms. Marino,
You can go to the website: bal-a-vis-x.com. There are three levels of training: Level A, B and Level C which is a three day conference taught by Bill Hubert the originator of Bal-A-Vis-X (BAVX). Bill is the only person that teaches the three day complete BAVX course. There are some videos on the website so you can see what is involved however please attend a course. I am a sanctioned practitioner in CT and with some patients treat only with BAVX and with others I infuse it into my treatments sessions. You can also overlay academics as they learn the techniques. I believe having as my tools in my therapy “bag”. I have found BAVX to be invaluable and the benefits are maintained.
The Long Island BAVX team is doing a training in Brooklyn in November. I recently co-taught for a Level A with modifications and academics two day training held at Hofstra University.
Please feel free to email me at: dwilkos@aol.com. I would be very happy to answer any additional questions and provide you with more information.
Music therapy could be helpful. The therapist would give your son accessible instruments to play and find a way of tuning in with his rhythms and pace and mood. Or they might just play music which entrains with his body movements, swaying or walking or whatever they might be. This can lead to other forms of non-verbal communication, including turn-taking which leads to increased awareness of oneself and others not to mention a great deal of pleasure in the experience of sharing.
I ask clients to start to breath OUT for longer than a count of six – this engages the vagus nerve to turn up the parasympathetic system, turning down the sympathetic – you can actually feel a warming in the upper chest when doing this! I watch the clients’ face and chest to see when calming may have happened. Then go through the senses, noticing one thing with each sense, then highlight how safe this moment is, nowhere to go, nothing to do but just be here, now…..
Thank you for all you do, to help us help our clients. I look forward to learning more!
I am a family therapist in Denmark, and have been working with developmental trauma in children and adults for some years. I am also a neurofeedback therapist and this is what I use mostly to help my clients learn to know and accept what emotions feel like in the body, and to regulate the nervous system to a calmer staten ???Thus being able to expand the window of tolerance.
I found the most effective mechanism for me, used by my psychologist when I was either dissociating or highly emotionally distressed, was to throw a scrunched up piece of paper back and forth and then to begin conversation.
It not only activated my motor cortex and frontal executive functions – planning, sequencing etc, it also forced me to multi-task and this helped ‘bring me back’ and calm down effectively relatively quickly on several occasions.
He is one of the main reasons I am now doing a conversion course in Psychology and hoping to become a Clinical Psychologist in the future.
Interesting ideas!
I like to use simple breathing as an exercise to self regulate emotions. Four breaths in followed by an eight count out and repeat fir several minutes. I encourage patients to practice mirning snd evening while expanding slowly the amount of time they focus on the exercise.
Thank you!!
In helping people learn to self-regulate, I make sure skills are available to try and that they know how to use them. Stress toys – play-doh, bubbles, stress balls, silly putty, tangles, koosh balls, fidget cubes, spiky balls. Instant ice packs for TIPP. Sensory things like scented lotions and sour candies. A self-soothe kit, like you make in DBT, can really help. The client has the control and that alone can be regulating. I’ll take clients on a walk if needed to reorient to the world, show them something new in detail. Play word games or memory games or puzzles. It all works. So does touch.
Breathing of couse is primary. But I offer a pre breathing perception experience to establish a physical container. Then I guide then inside.
This consists of bringing awareness to their form in the chair. Most importantlt what parts of the body are touching somehing: their back, the hands,the feet. They do this focusing their eyes on somehing they feel comforyable with in the room. It is an inner dance of awareness.
Timing the beginning of an episode and then the return to “normal” breathing and arousal states assists in the validation of “This too shall pass.”
The hypersrousal state is time limited when focusing on the breath.
Singing or chanting may aid the breathing process e.g Anusara yoga invocation has helped…repeated until breathing is calm.
Thank you!
I love what Bessel says.
I work as a Rosen method bodyworker on a couch but am sure I can adapt some of his tips for extending the window of tolerance. Certainly observing gait and posture from first moment of entering the room and for myself remembering basics of breath, tapping and beach ball.
Certainly the rib cage barely moves ….
This was excellent! I have recommended qigong, deep breathing, etc. to clients. Dr. van der Kolk’s point about Assessing the client’s window of tolerance in the very beginning is crucial as is regulating the therapy along with the window of tolerance. In the comments, people have mentioned other modalities that have helped them. It is so important to realize that everyone is different (no one modality works for everyone) & to help the client find what works for them. I like the beach ball analogy.
I use mindfulness techniques to help centre them in their bodies. When a client is hyperaroused, when they first walk into my office, I offer them a hot drink or a cold one, getting them to focus on whether they have sugar or milk etc. I talk briefly about their day so far, comment on the weather or introduce them to my cat who loves to sleep on a chair in the room. If they are dysregulated, I ask them to “see” mindfully five objects, “touch” mindfully four objects, “listen” mindfully to three sounds, “smell” mindfully two things and “taste” mindfully one thing. This brings them back into conscious awareness. They can then use this technique in other settings.
Truly holistic, lucky clients!
I have a client for whom it was helpful when I tossed her a ball to catch when she started to dissociate.
Especially helpful for many clients is the dog I have in therapy, I give clients some treats for him and ask clients to offer them to him when they start to leave their window of tolerance. For many clients a cool gel pack taken from the freezer is very helpful to regulate.
In addition, I introduce all kinds of grounding and dissociation-stopp techniques beforehand, so, clients know them and I can remind them when I get the impression they steer towards their window boundaries.
Clients who get very angry can either use the same techniques, and for many isometric exercises are very helpful to regulate rage (pushing and pulling). Or they can use settings for regulated anger expression. For this I use batacas with which clients can beat a table or a mat standing up on the wall. Or an overball clients can smash on the floor. It’s important this is not unregulated rage but regulated and verbally expressed anger. Clients are asked to not just make sounds but actually say what they’re angry about.
Winja this is all really interesting. I’d love to learn more about the isometric push/pulling exercises for rage. I googled and found these on Youtube (not specifically for rage) – are they the kind of thing you mean? What are your clients pushing or pulling?
What are batacas?
And can you help me understand why it’s not okay for clients to be smashing the overball on the floor and catharting rage – I still have a lot of conditioning that catharsis = good (it can certainly feel good!). Is it not a stage? that can be followed by more regulated expressions? I get that catharsis can be beyond the window of tolerance; I just wonder if it is *by definition*
If you ever read this I’d be grateful for your answers.
If others have comments that is also welcome!
Thanks 🙂
Great explanation on the Window Of Tolerance. Qi Gong is great. Also Jin Shin Jyutsu – Peter Levine wrote about it in his book IN AN UNSPOKEN VOICE.
The regulation of a client’s breathing is so vital to helping them calm their spirit, and be able to absorb the material and information they need to learn to be able to heal from trauma. We practice that in session; and I have also taught some clients tapping. Another calming exercise is to help them discover a word, or phrase, to use as a mantra to bring their mind and their body back to a calm state.
I would say I am my own client and what is helping me is listening to music. Certain songs in certain situations. I after reading and hearing what you said I saw myself .
Music always helps me come back in the real world, helps me breath and be calm. But not any music. Lyrics and melody have to be in harmony. I am a big fan from U2, a band from Ireland. Their new album came out and it is doing its magic on me again. Just the first song “Love is all we got left” is my best therapy at the moment.
I wish I had the fund to bring my daughter to you. She really could use some understanding help. We lost our husband/father last year very sudden, lots of financial problems, way to much stress and now the fires here in CA took a big toll on her. I hope she will get better again. It is hard to see her suffer.
(She is 26 by the way)
Thanks for the info and I will save this link and hopefully share with my daughter.
I often have used breathing techniques as a way of grounding the client to the momemt.
It extremely effective ,
thank you- great practical suggestion- I work with kids and we practice breathing with bubbles and pinwheels- lots of fun- I tell them when they need to “gets the grumps out of the tummy” they can make believe they are making bubbles or making the pinwheel spin
Thank you!
I’m really loving this series. I am not a professional, but a would be client. I am educating myself as much as I can to aid my self in my recovery. For someone who is stuck is hypo arousal and suffers extreme dissacosiate, what would the best method for this person to monitor their self and bring them selves out of it? I find that if I can bring myself out I go straight to hyper arousal. I have window of tolerance but I’m rarely in it and the tricky part is catching the hyp arousal and dissacosiation in the first place which is difficult what is the best method to catch yourself instead relying on a therapist for this
One thing I use is to practise tuning into your body. If you can try to remember what was the feeling in your body b4 you disassociated. With practise you can increase awareness and take action b4 fight or flight kicks in. May just be a change in sensation in some part of the body. For me its mainly in my gut/tummy. Practise tuning in when “normal” to increase your awareness when it starts to change. Your body always knows b4 its a concious thought but it takes practise especially if wev disassociated from our body to protect ourselves. Good luck
My thing (as a prof and writer, not therapist) is to bring the focus to thinking, to look at logical consequences when people’s “window of tolerance” does not include tolerance of disagreement. “So what you are saying means . . . “
Elsa, not sure if I understood you correctly….?
I’ve had chronic complex PTSD since I was a child, then again as a teen, young adult, again in 1986, 2007 & 2017 & I can tell you as a thinking educated mature woman, that someone in a full blown PTSD reaction/relapse has absolutely no ability to think or exercise logic.
When the fight/flight response kicks in the autonomic response completely takes away all control & higher executive function shuts down.
When I’m having a PTSD flair, NOBODY can reason with me, let alone say, “So what you are saying means…” because I’m either running away in shock, wanting to attack someone, or end my own life.
PTSD is a horrible curse that attached to my life & robbed me of being able to function in any normal capacity. I cannot tell you how much I’ve suffered, however….
Yesterday November 1, 2017 was the 1st ray of hope I’ve had while watching the video claiming PTSD was not a life sentence, and that neuro-feedback is sound treatment. I’m very thankful to be taking this course because yesterday was I finally have hope that I CAN get my life back, even at this late age/stage of 61, to hopefully lead a more normal stable happy life. THANK YOU to all the presenters who’s dedication to this field & platform led to my miracle! Which I can now pass on to others!
The emotional & psychic pain when PTSD is fully activated is beyond description & ability to bare, beyond the ability to tolerate, beyond the capacity for most to want to live through. It completely overwhelms the person. The ONLY successful treatment I’ve found is neuro-feedback long for 3 months every day, which helped me re-connect my shattered self, back into my body/mind/emotions so I could begin to function once again. However that treatment doesn’t last forever, if the person is retriggered, they need it again.
I’ve tried EVERYTHING to overcome this relentless beast, and the ONLY treatment I’ve found with ANY success is neuro-feedback &/or bio-feedback.
All the drugs/alcohol to numb or knock you out, so you don’t kill yourself to escape the unbearable pain is only a temporary bandaid to get you through that particular PTSD crisis.
Unless a person has experienced PTSD for themselves, they simply cannot grasp the catastrophic impact in the person’s life & those around them. I understand why people take their own lives when they have PTSD. Without help they are doomed to a life of painful torture.
Terry, I, too, have chronic Complex PTSD, and indeed, it is a horrible thing. But there is HOPE!
I’ve tried EMDR, neuro-feedback, acupuncture, and scores of other things, not to mention medications. The best modality I’ve found is Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy (PRYT). You don’t need to know yoga postures or be physically flexible.
Just as Dr. van der Kolk and many others state, trauma is held in the body. PRYT works with the body. I can’t express enough how amazing PRYT is. It has helped me so much, I’ve gone through two years of training to help bring this work to others with PTSD. If you’re interested in this modality, you can go to PRYT.com and find a Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapist in your area.
Sending you all my best on your healing journey.
Thank you so much Gina for responding with this helpful information about Yoga therapy.
I will make a decision to incorporate this into my lifestyle.
Thank you again for mentioning it.
You are welcome, Terry. I hope the modality is as helpful for you as it is for me.
Wishing you the very best,
Gina
Phoenix Rising has been a Godsend for me too. I’ve been doing it since ’14.
Terry, I have Complex PTSD as well. There are great Facebook groups where you’ll hear versions of our story and lots of tips. Have you read Pete Walker’s Complex PTSD book? Life-changing for me as was EMDR with an experienced trauma therapist in L.A. That he labeled what happened to me an atrocity was also huge for my recovery. Choices, safety, and connection (animal and/or human) are key. Will look into Phoenix Rising!
Feeling the painful emotion on the in breath and blowing it out and leaving it in the room on the out breath. Finding the client’s own self comfort movements. Progressive muscle relaxation. Opposition movement, so practising moving the body in a way that is opposite to hypo/hyper arousal, e.g. opening out the body.
Supporting the patient’s efforts to “change the things I can” is a well-worn principle of self-regulation. It puts the focus on what the patient can do in a simple practical way, getting back into authority over her day to day circumstances.
I have found that this might not be very helpful with teens who use electronic games as leisure and get frustrated over the game and winning the points. I’ve taught using the pillow to let out the frustration instead of yelling aloud or hit the furniture. This is how far this can go. However, I appreciate your sharing. Thank you.
I find the stability ball helps likes to regulate. Holding ice can be affective for some as well. Throwing and catching a ball.
Can anyone recommend very good medications that help?
I like to incorporate some movement, so I meet them where they are at and then co-regulate them back into their window of tolerance. I work a lot with children so I need to rely more on the non verbals!
An example I use with children and parents if they are hyperaroused is a yoga breathing technique I call “Woodchopper” it’s great because it combines movement and breathing together. You lift up your arms on the inhale and on the exhale swing down like you’re chopping wood releasing a loud sound as you can! It often makes people laugh too which is a great way to discharge excess energy and connect. It’s nice to hang out with head between their legs at the end of their exhale as this switches them into their parasympathetic nervous system.
Hope this helps! I’m enjoying reading the comments and learning others tips too! Thanks for hosting this series 🙂
Often do breathing exercises during a session, and have used throwing a ball back and forth.
Me too!
Firstly,I’d like to thank you for this series.I am really enjoying it and learning alot. In my practise I help clients do mindful breathing ,being in the moment , notice their thoughts as a neutral observer and with compassion. I help them retrieve memories of soorhing images ,whether it’s a beautiful place in nature or a loving person or pet , I help them locate their anchor in their body that’s the most planted in their chair. All the while I go back to the breathing.i help them get contained in a safe place .we imagine an invisible forcefield around themselves that’s protective of them . After a short while they’re breathing deeply , limbs feel heavy ,and they’re in a very calm peaceful state . It’s from this place that healing begins as we explore the different physical sensations in their body. We identify constructions and expansions and pendulate between the two. Interception and self awareness follows.
Forgive typos. Constriction ,interoception
Deep breathing
I love ‘the window of tolerance’ notion
I feel as if I’m among friends and love how the work now has come full circle and the body is acknowledge I feel the work is validated from my original four year body psychotherapy training 30 odd years ago with Gerda Boyesen ‘Biodynamic Psychology’..
Then as now I listen to the peristaltic gut sounds which indicate the freeing of the emotional stress The quality of the gut sounds is another way of viewing ‘the window of tolerance’ and wyhen working with an individual using touch can monitor the progression and strength of the response. It is an acquired art from that original training which I still use but now more generalised to with facilitating training work with a group.
Watch for breathing is a fundamental.,At a time when I see the breathing is changing, people may talk about being hungry. Another way is I ask people exaggerate there breathing by blowing out as they drop their shoulders.Using a soft ball underarm to catch the ball – hands out ‘soft hands’ like the cricketers and do it non verbally. this can bring a switch of hemsipheres, help hand/eye coordination and improve regulation quickly.
Yes play dough or modelling clay is also very powerful. I have one child who hardly ever expressed her creative play other than babbling,can now explain what shes doing while she develops her models.\
This explains the increased “passing of wind” when a child is shifting and relaxing in session haha! Biodynamic psychology sounds really interesting. Thanks for sharing
I am in the process of my PTSD/developmental trauma recovery journey. And, with my SE therapist we have expanded my window of tolerance. A huge indicator for me knowing when my body is again regulating itself now has been the return of & activating of peristaltic sounds/movement. The first time I heard/felt it I was shocked, as I realised it was many months since I had heard that! (After being in a crisis state). And now, when I noticed I’m “off” and “out of sorts” I lay still and in my mind say “I’m here body. I’m listening”. And after a period of time, I feel my nervous system “start up” and go through a series of movements (body initiated) and once I start to hear my tummy grumble I know we’re “away”. And things are settling. And the fearful/dread/anxious tone to my whole being (thoughts and body sensations) is lifted and dissipates. And I feel relief and calm again. And yes…I again start passing wind. Which makes me giggle that my body farts to calm itself. Hehe!
You’re not alone LOL! I can relate personally speaking but also professionally I work with children and the play room is nearly always with a faint aroma of farts after sessions. And you can’t get more authentic than children! Thanks for sharing your story. I enjoyed reading it. Inspiring & funny! 😉
Oops Repeating myself a little! Sorry! Nap time!
Wonderful to hear about saying to our body that we are ready to hear them and then how responsive it can be, farts and all!
Such fun reading all the comments about beach balls! I just finished offering a 3 day professional accreditation training in EFT/tapping in Toronto, Ontario, Canada where we integrated a majority of what this video spoke about. I’m enjoying how this field is becoming more and more integrated. Thank you NICABM, I know that you have contributed greatly to this integration
Wonderful information and ideas. Thanks so much. When I was working with children I used kneading and molding of clay as a grounding non-verbal communication by modeling whatever clay shape the child made: round balls, snake shapes, etc. With older children I used Baroque music or coloring books with crayons while I modeled their breathing and then slowed mine (to slow theirs). With agitated or anxious adults I modeled deep breathing while avoiding eye contact and moving my swivel chair rhythmically. I wish I had heard these ideas about the “window of tolerance” and how to expand it back then. How much more helpful I could have been!
never underestimate the power of playdough…especially with children!
As a Primal Therapist we have used exercise such as light jogging to either bring people down into the primal zone by running off excess tension or bring people up into the primal or feeling zone by elevating their repressed or lowered vital signs.
My initial go to activities include: 1.Thirty second self-calming activities like three long exhales, tensing and releasing set of muscles, sipping a hot beverage. 2. Grounding (right now I see, hear, smell, taste, feel). 3. Diaphragmatic breathing. I find it’s important to get them to practice in session each visit as well as encourage daily practice.
Mindfulness Meditation
Perhaps in Buddhism they say “return to the moment” or “follow your breath” to return to the window (or open the window) For instance : Tara Brach uses R.A.I.N. and Pema Chodron uses C.A.L.M. to return to the moment and regulate the breathing of panic.
My son inadvetently bastardized their acronyms into P.I.N.E. : Pause the panic…Inhale slowly…..Notice the panic…..Exhale slowly and “let go” of or “accept” (panic?).
For some it is easy to notice that you are no longer in the moment (large window). For others it is impossible (small window). Perhaps meditation is the “exercise” that strengthens the “muscle” that either opens the window or squeezes us through the smallest opening. Or maybe meditation just helps us remember our favorite acronym.
On my recovery journey and with clients I treasure the Tibetan Buddhist mind training and it’s modern forms like RAIN. I use tapping, SE, EMDR, Yoga and Qi Gong, but the deepest transformation of creating a safe place and inner safe caregivers for me, provided Tibetan Guru Yoga practice.
‚Feeding your demons’ by Tsültrim Allione is an easy 30 Minute practice with breath and body awareness, visualizations to dissolve recurring intense feelings like panic, anger or simply the dissociated feeling of not being in the body. It‘s a very ancient technique brought into a modern self-help form on CD. It‘s amazing tool to get from intense negative emotion or body sensation to aresouceful, connected state in half an hour and it can become a journey of creating inner safe places and connections that evolve during the healing journey. Book and CD are available. In different bookstores and online in several languages.