Trauma changes people.
And for someone who just wants life to return to “the way it was,” this can be difficult to accept.
But in some cases, people have not only been able to bounce back following trauma, they’ve also been able to experience growth.
In the video below, researcher and author Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD offers her insights into what contributes to post-traumatic growth.
Take a look – it’s just about 4 minutes.
For expert strategies to help clients thrive after trauma, have a look at this short course on how to foster post-traumatic growth featuring Stephen Porges, PhD; Marsha Linehan, PhD; Steven Hayes, PhD; Sue Johnson, EdD; Pat Ogden, PhD; and other top experts.
Now how will you use these ideas in your work? Please leave us your thoughts in the comment box right below.
I agree that finding meaning after trauma does foster happiness/post traumatic growth but first i believe the pain of the trauma must be honored and experienced to truly grow
I agree that there is a strong and positive connection between happiness and meaning.
I find it difficult to believe that a person can truly be happy without meaning in their life. Of course we decide what meaning is for us, right? I do think we can have meaning without being happy, however. In fact, as someone who has experienced a number of losses over a short period of time, I am finding it is taking quite a bit of time to get back to “my normal”. I can see for me, though that meaning is what came back first and now I am moving toward being able to be happy again. In the beginning, I couldn’t see a path toward either.
I do believe that we are always capable of growing so it makes sense to me that some will continue to grow after recovering from traumatic experiences. I hope to be one of them.
Profoundly sobering. Many thanks for this radiant peak into what it means to be fully human.
Elizabeth Agnese, M.A. (Applied Community Psychology through the Arts)
Finding meqaning in what happened, i.e. what sense can I make of it for myself, setting goals for oneself for after the trauma, feeling as a art of a whole, etc.
I think this is a very complex matter that involves accompanying the client on the journey. Timing would be very important… not getting ahead of the client’s process.
There is an excellent TED talk on Post Traumatic Growth…
Thanks for the link, it’s interesting to see, how she links the regrets of the dying with the characteristics of post traumatic growth
Excellent talk, thanks
I work with clients to help them gain self compassion rather than self reproach, greater self understanding/other and working the process towards self mastery which is a life long process. Being mindful in the power of now and that where is is no mud no lotus. There are other truths to be discovered along the way.
Thank you for this Janet. I have found this gentle approach creates powerful and effective results as well. We heal and grow via love and acceptance paired with the gift of insight.
I work with a strength based approach with people and familes I encounter in my work. This gives the focus on what the person has experienced and how it effects their life. It involves a learning aspect, a different framework of ‘seeing’, an understanding of supports & resources the person can tap into, more insights into one’s self, aresumed control over one’s life and a practical way forward. I have often seen the gilded egde of trauma in people and am moved when the people I work alongside reveals their pain as well as their strengths – thank you for your sharing and research findings on trauma experiences
I made the experience by my own: abusion, getting nearly killed , the suicid of my youngest son. Coming through all this, it makes me more free, more alive, more energetic, more understanding for myself an others and leads me to the profound experience, that death is an illusion, there is only life and love. I’m a rich woman, full of thanks to existence, ready to tell my story. May be it can encourage people in difficult situation
Good idea of how to help folks going through a trauma and rise above the prior level of functioning once healed. Love the ‘Post Traumatic Growth” phrase for measuring and improving on healing. Gail Sheehy had written the book Passages. It has been in my mind all these years. She had said, and cannot quote her exactly, but that we would pay for our crises if knew what they might do for us. I have found that a wise comment and look for that silver lining through life challenges.
As an interfaith minister and public speaker, I can craft my inspirational talks toward resiliency. I like this idea of re calibrating and the term post traumatic growth. Both concepts can be helpful when working with grief counseling as well as victims of trauma. It offers hope and is uplifting to be encouraged that with good mental hygiene and spiritual practices, life can normalize to a new level.
I really like the term “post traumatic growth”. I’ve never heard it before, thank you so much. This new vocabulary takes the pathologization away and opens the door for healing vs staying in the disease model of things. I believe it is mind over matter and this is a very empowering set of words. Having an “action” term is so much more health promoting than a label. Thanks again!
it makes so much sense that meaning and happiness go together. Thank you
What did this circumstance/ condition help you understand about who you are and what you prefer?
I loved hearing Sonja talk about this topic and associating related issues in a broader sense. I have been reflecting on the issue of happiness versus meaning – and read research that stated that finding or having meaning in one’s life does not necessarily mean one would be happy. For what it’s worth, here is a snippet:
“…happiness is mainly about getting what one wants and needs…In contrast, meaningfulness was linked to doing things that express and reflect the self and in particular to doing positive things for others. Meaningful involvements increase one’s stress, worries, arguments, and anxiety, which reduce happiness…Whereas happiness was focused on feeling good in the present, meaningfulness integrated past, present, and future, and it sometimes meant feeling bad. Past misfortunes reduce present happiness, but they are linked to higher meaningfulness—perhaps because people cope with them by finding meaning.” Article written by Baumeister et al. (2013) in the Journal of Positive Psychology, 8(6).
this resonates with the trajectory of my life, though I see how one might be able to break through to a “higher'” happiness filled with meaning, just haven’t experienced it personally.
Thank you for the video post Ruth.
When you have lost control of your life and so scared that you could never get back to your normal self again and then you do get it back…for me it was not the same. I appreciated every aspect as never before! I never loved my life as much as I do now. I am almost thankful for the trauma that happened to me. It also made me spiritual.
I’m glad to know someone is doing research on this. I tell clients that there is a silver lining to working through trauma, and it is what is being pointed to here. This underscores what I know, personally and from many clients.
Thanks for this. I think it’s an important observation that post traumatic growth does occur but the ability to actually survive beyond the traumatic experience is an important first step and having meaningful support is also important. Nelson Mandela is one who was able to truly evolve in his humanity in the face of trauma and adversity. Thanks.
I can speak only as a patient, but there is no question that if you can work through trauma and gain a better understanding of how much you still matter and how meaningful your life can be for yourself as well as others, you will develop, and in ways you could not have imagined. I never thought I could have an unshakable sense of who I am or how appropriate that understanding is for me, and I would not trade what I know and understand now to have back the pre-trauma happiness I new. It will never be the same, but it can be different in surprising and beautiful ways.
That should be “knew,” not new. Sticky K key.
May be by takibg clients out in Nature, to helt them feel the beauty about being here.
Or try to helt them engage in meaningful activities.
Or going to a spriritual level, by proposing that there must be a meaning with them still being here in this World, it must be because they have something important that has to be done?
It is a bit challenging, as people tend to follow a specificere route, that sometimes has to be disturbed. If they tend to be depressiv, their route has ro be distracted.
Recognize the time needed to transition from the old way of life (pre trauma) to the new way of living. Empathize with the fears and confusion around the demands of change. Explore sources of comfort and be comfortable enough to explore and encourage client to explore meaning of life and mortality. Encourage client in his/her faith as a personal journey embarked on by all cultures and individuals seeking to understand trauma and fear……normalize without diminishing. We live, we die. Help clients to open their eyes to the positive; the rescuers came, the neighbors cared, the community stepped up, the flowers bloomed, and they have learned vulnerability that possibly at some time in the future will enable them to reach out to someone else. We keep reading about meditation and yoga and mindfulness; that is what prayer can be/is, listening in contemplation and silence or calm music. Walking to the sounds of nature; believing that there is something greater than oneself that can join with ones sorrow is powerful indeed and can put present time in greater perspective. Faith has become a bit of a dirty word in therapy conversations…clients can hesitate to raise it, fearful the therapist will be disdainful, so bring it up respectfully. With every client we can expand our own knowledge and experience and we are privileged to stand with people in deep pain. Tell them that. We also are always growing. So can they.
I like this reply and agree with it. I love the phrase post traumatic growth. Very helpful.
I keep thinking of Victor Frankl,
Man’s Search for Meaning. Our capability
to find meaning in the most horrific
circumstance. Thank you.
It seems to me that the biggest barrier to resilience in the face of trauma is how entrenched the person is in fear.
Currently I’m wrestling with how to reach and get my sister-in-law to make even small changes. My oldest brother is in early/middle stages of alzheimers. Both he and his wife lived near and assisted when my father went through the disease 20 years ago. Despite seeing effects of disease first-hand, my brother’s wife seems entirely unable to adapt to her husband’s condition. She believes my brother can improve. Worse, she cannot understand why her life has to change and she resists on every level: she still works but never learned to drive. She knows my brother failed an official driving test, but on the sly, she gets my brother to drive so she/they can do errands on the weekend. They are not rich, but they do not have to worry about money either. My sister-in-law’s fears, however, extend to spending almost any money — not just for cab drivers, for workmen to repair their house, landscapers to replace my brother in lawn/snow care, etc. etc. This disconnect between instituting positive factors to assist — and not harm/help my brother — is best summed up by her turning off the hot water.
She is entirely encircled by fears. My brother is much more open and positive. I do not know how to help her become less fearful. I think about it a lot. How to reach her with loving kindness and get her to make even the smallest shift towards reality, openness, and hopefulness. How does one successfully get someone to overcome ANY of their fears and change their dangerous behavior?
Breaking a cycle of fear seems the secret to resilience. For some, however, a deep, intransient attachment to fear seems insurmountable.
Fear is another avenue of exploration when it comes to recovery and how to work through. This whole topic is unfortunately been so paramount for many nowadays and warrants further investigation. All these comments are thought provoking and inspiring. Wish I could comment on them all and maybe I shall as time allows. If anyone has read the study on Adverse Childhood Experiences, it helps to start to define how hard the issue of fear can be far imbedded in our psyche. Early study of development in this field are paramount for understanding and development needs to be brought back into the study of psychology more profoundly, especially when it comes to families.
My response to Sonja is so complex and multi-faceted that it would take expanding the topic in several directions to answer it adequately. But one aspect of growth is a shift both into one’s worth and into belonging here- here on earth. Interaction clicks into place. Where you are (including wherever you’ve been) makes sense.
One’s growth factor must be totally different from another’s growth factor–perhaps in a ratio to the love and encouragement of supportive others, as well as one’s ability to see, hear, and feel that support.
I think that survivors of trauma are and do become very strong as a result of what they have gone through. What I think is lacking in the therapy process is reflecting not only the experience of the client with the wide range of emotions they face everyday but reflecting and drawing out the strengths, positive characteristics and humor of the client that the client downplays or doesn’t notice or appreciate about him/herself. As a trained therapist and also as a client, I feel there is much too much that is not celebrated, acknowledged, or even focused on that is happy, positive and a sign of growth in the client and too much left for the client to kind of figure out and then eventually leave therapy because she now realizes she is “enough.” I think the therapist, rather than being afraid of emotionally taking care of the client, needs to partner with the client to find agreed upon strengths that the client can internalize that will further the belief that she is okay. It’s okay for the therapist to do a little bit of cheerleading. If your therapist can not be for you, and the client feels too shitty to be for herself, then there’s not much hope-but when your therapist can be for you, before you realize that you’re worth being there for yourself, what a gift that can be to the client!
I think there are a lot of contingencies. Whether a person experiences decline, return to status quo or growth depends upon the client’s temperament, the quality of support in the person’s environment pre- and post-trauma, developmental trauma prior to the event, and whether or not the client was fortunate enough to seek treatment and the quality of that treatment. Probably many other contingencies. So, what I get out of this piece is that there is hope after trauma and even happiness, under the right conditions. Am I getting this right?
It is a great!
I recently was impressed by the back cover notes on Alex Brumbaugh’s, The Praxis of Recovery. Suggesting that “the threshold of success does not occur until after five or more years of sustained remission.” And it frames “recovery in terms of learnings.” To experience post-traumatic growth, it strikes me that these “learnings” are key. And how we go about creating the environments, the teachers and the competency to support this five+ years growth process essential.
I feel so hopeful and excited to receive this kind of information, not only for myself but as concrete evidence of where we are going as a species, i.e., into enlightened living.
I have specialized in living with disability in the family for years, in my private clinical practice. Many of my clients either face the challenge of long term physical conditions, being a spouse in that situation, or as parents of children with disabilities. So often it involves a loss of identity (giving up a career, dreams for a future together, etc.) and the necessity for redefinition of self. We will explore, who was I before, what can I bring forward from the past, what must I let go of, and what are new possibilities? Eventually we end up discussing the “gift” embedded in the loss or challenge they face, but not before giving ample air time to their grief about what dream has been lost. It’s when people don’t have the “permission” to be seen and acknowledged for their losses, that they get stuck and can’t see their way clear to re-create meaning.
I have seen my clients do both – refuse happiness or develop a happier life. I am always hopping for the happier life and I do affirm all indications that the client will become happier. I know the affirmation helps my clients in that moment, but I do not know if it is a component of helping the happier life to develop.
For many year doing grief and loss groups it was always the clients who seemed to grieve more at the onset who were more able to move on as they often has reported such a good relationship with a partner. They sought to duplicate it sooner. It was the ones that my grief professor warned me about were the ones who seemed to not grieve as much but it never seemed to end. They were ones that had a poor relationship with the partner. They never seemed to move on until that relationship got resolved. the group members were always baffled by the fast transition of the former. I have found this helpful in dealing with clients who have loved ones they have strong conflict with, to resolve it before it becomes this situation.
Though I’ve always been dubbed in incurable optimist, I know that the peace and security I get is knowing that there is the creator of the universe who is wiser and more loving than me. He has shown me again and again the truth of the Scriptures that say God can make all things work for good for those who love him. Though he allows things to happen that we often do not understand, he also will allow those things to help us grow, if we trust him. Those who have come from a really difficult family history have a harder time trusting that an authority figure could be all loving, but it certainly isn’t impossible. Much of what people seem not to understand is that there is evil in the world and that wanting to be our own God often makes things very hard for us. Even for clients who are not believers, these truths can still operate so presenting an alternative to letting trauma have us rather than us having had a trauma is a very helpful view. The helplessness and powerlessness that are so much a part of trauma get re-framed with the concept of conquering and making something good out of an experience that wanted to defeat us. Whether somebody gets that extra assist from God or not is their call. These are truths that have been written long before any of the recent researchers.
A therapist is working with a client that has experienced a family suicide, loss of a son and breast cancer.
After many years of pain, grief and sadness, this lady has learned to enjoy life in a new way. With many ways of learning about herself—she has learned acceptance, resilience and contentment.
LOVE is her answer—-know how to love and cherish yourself, then learning to love others.
True loving kindness can take you to a higher place than living a normal life.
Very validating of my personal experience with traumatic events and in my professional life as an LCSW. I’m the Trauma Informed Care Coordinator in a maximum/high/ minimum security Forensic Mental Health facility in Missouri, Fulton State Hospital. I definitely see individuals who grow and mature and find meaning in their lives. The other thing I believe we also know is the importance of connection and having at least one person that believes in you.
I work with clients who are challenged with complex trauma and PTSD. I myself have experienced both. Trauma is a dark night of the soul. A heroine’s/heros journey, resourcing deep faith, surrender to what you cannot control and re-directing energy into positive action, being able to tolerate pain and passion, finding your tribe and where you belong, and choosing creative inspired living. Personally and professionally I don’t know why one person recovers meaning and happiness and others do not. I believe it has to do with something spiritual, karmic and beyond our knowing. My sister committed suicide. I fought for my happiness, meaning and love. I am still standing. Still passionate. What I have witnessed throughout my life and career are those who can reach a recovery of love and passion are those who can internalize their resources of faith, radical self acceptance, loving-kindness, relearning trust and re-building and re-patterning the fragmented self into wholeness. They never give up. They want to receive love and give love. It takes a deep hunger desire and practice to reach new levels of happiness after trauma. I don’t know, in this research, what those individuals did to find happiness after trauma. What I do know it take alot of strength, vulnerability, ability to receive your worthiness and establish healthy attachments and find meaning. Your organization has helped me to understand trauma in so many meaningful and healing ways, I am grateful for you passion and dedication to healing trauma. Deeply humbled and thankful
Thank you for your words Marta. Namaste
I think it’s great that this is scientifically validated now, because it must be part of our job as therapists to totally believe in the person’s ability not only to bounce back but also to go way beyond themselves, their expectations of themselves and even our own expectations of them. I have seen this happen so many times – and it’s exciting! It shows us that we really are living in a space of infinite possibilities and if we can bring that energy to our work then we are hopefully not limiting our clients by our own limited mindset about what is possible for them – we are actually holding a space which supports and encourgages them to go as far as they will.
Trauma enables a person to discover just what they are made of and how far their limits or boundaries of what is possible go, it can be empowering to get to know a part of ourselves hidden until trauma happens to let us see what we are made of!
I did my advanced project in undergrad about Posttraumatic Growth (PTG), and I am so happy to see you talking about this! I think it is a fascinating and hopeful topic, and it is something I have experienced myself. 5 years ago I was immersed in research by the PTG Group at University of North Carolina (Tedeschi & Calhoun), and Dr. Stephen Joseph’s book “What Doesn’t Kill Us.” I am so pleased to see that body of work continuing and growing.
I think the specific areas of growth involved in PTG are important to know, in order to recognize and support them in our clients (and in ourselves). Research has shown the 5 top areas of growth in PTG are:
– Increased Sense of Personal Strengths
– Greater Appreciation of Life
– Seeing New Possibilities
– Increased Intimacy in Relationships
– Spiritual Development.
This sounds interesting, any possibility of sending a link or more information on the subject? I find that I’ve grown so much from surviving domestic violence in my marriage and nursing my son back to life from his long stay in ICU. I’I’ve also witnessed how most of my clients grow after sessions of TRE with them. Now I know how this is possible.
Here is an article I like that gives a nice breakdown of PTG growth areas, how/why they may occur, and other factors and concepts related to PTG.
Posttraumatic Growth in the Aftermath of Trauma: A Literature Review About Related Factors and Application Contexts (Ramos & Leal, 2013)
Thank you for sharing, Laura. I greatly appreciate it.
After experiencing my daughter’s protected illness and subsequent death, I can say with unfortunate authority that parents of children with disabilities do experience life with greater complexity. That can often be overwhelming since complexity can be positive or negatively perceived. As a therapist, my task is to normalize that complexity in the context of redefining existence and meaning. Those who get stuck in the negative end of the pool are the challenge.
I think happiness depends on fulfilment of the physical and psychological needs of a person.
This is explained well in Human Givens psychology.
Can you please send me the link please, I am studying Hypnotherapy/Psychotherapy/Neuro Linguistic Programming and Counselling at the Diploma level and onto Masters after , as a previous employee of Correctional Services, I wish to learn and develop as much knowledge to help Police Officers/Correctional Officers and anyone with more sound knowledge of this field. Also this link “Human givens Psychology” could you provide link please. South Australia.
I love the quote which has made so much sense and growth in my own life…
“There are places in the heart that do not yet exist,
pain must be for them to be.”
My parents were in the Holocaust & I am totally amazed by their tremendous resilience! I have come to learn that no one can take my spirit away!
I live with C-PTSD – Although i have a huge vulnerability on the other side Superhuman strengths – Trauma can be very educative because even though the events are truly staggering the person by living such a tough battle becomes a very impressive entity – re-defines their own life and uses Trauma to get not only your life story told but to emerge out the other side (this isn’t easy) superior than before
In order to come through and thrive, after severe trauma, it is not unreasonable to suggest that a viable and supportive network is required. I can well imagine, from lived experience, that those with a positive and viable support network do better than those who live in relative or complete isolation.
Our center uses the Feuerstein program, created to help holocaust survivors move out of a limbic system hijacked state by developing frontal lobe cogitive growth. We are getting some good results. Some people, of course, need more time and intensity.
Could you provide a link to information on this feuerstein program and its methodology?
Thank you!
I always say to my patients, family, friends and myself: there’s nothing good about trauma, tragedy and crisis, and yet, it’s happened/happening, so you may as well grow. Looking for small and big miracles helps. I’ve used the idea of PT growth in my work and in my book as the thing that can make all the difference. I find that perspective, thoughts about events and loving kindness from self and others, will make all the difference.
It did for me.
Hi Ruth, The person who came to mind, listening to the research on people growing after and/or through a traumatic event, was you. I remember hearing of your huge loss – the loss of your partner. And I wondered: are you more daring, more complex, now. For example, has NICABM is some way come about in part in response to the loss – that you have taken on this enormous challenge, to share what you know with ever so many more people. All the best to you – to all of us.
Thanks for thinking of me, Elsa. And yes, it was a huge loss that I grow from continually.
I will take these examples and applying them. I value you information.
I teach students who experience trauma and I will modify and adapt.
What causes differences between each group?
Again what determines the outcome of advestiry? Did they check what kind of thinking styles the people had before the adversity?