Trauma changes people.
And for someone who just wants life to return to “the way it was,” this can be difficult to accept.
But in some cases, people have not only been able to bounce back following trauma, they’ve also been able to experience growth.
In the video below, researcher and author Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD offers her insights into what contributes to post-traumatic growth.
Take a look – it’s just about 4 minutes.
For expert strategies to help clients thrive after trauma, have a look at this short course on how to foster post-traumatic growth featuring Stephen Porges, PhD; Marsha Linehan, PhD; Steven Hayes, PhD; Sue Johnson, EdD; Pat Ogden, PhD; and other top experts.
Now how will you use these ideas in your work? Please leave us your thoughts in the comment box right below.
I used to drink a lot because I was running from something I did not know what when I was about 40 I remembered being sexually abused as a child when we worked through it in therapy I quit drinking because I didn’t even Want to drink I didn’t have to run from anything
Helping my clients grow post trauma often begins with psycho-education, in general. My clients are often ones who belong to the population I researched. This (easy to read) trauma research is entitled: “Lives Unseen: Unacknowledged Trauma of Non-disordered, Competent Adult Children Of Parents with a Severe Mental Illness”. If people are interested in receiving it, they only need to Google my name Suzette Misrachi. It is free to download as are my articles about trauma and grief which can be found on LinkedIn. There is no guarantee of Post Traumatic Growth. But when it does occur, it fills people with hope.
Thank you Suzette – you are generous! I would love to read this. It sounds interesting.
Based on my reading of Christopher Germer’s work on self-compassion, and after watching this video, I believe the phenomenon of posttraumatic growth is more likely to occur within people who define happiness by the number of meaningful or engaging experiences they have in their lives rather than the amount of “fun” they experience. Defining happiness by how much fun we have could be self-defeating… whereas when we look for meaningful experiences we can find them in so many places in our daily lives…And perhaps that allows us to live with trauma knowing that it doesn’t have to permanently end our capacity for happiness.
Beautiful.Well said.
I found that mindfulness, deep breathing , long sighs, letting go, self compassion & gratitude for ‘everyday small things’ – allowed me to re-appreciate life again after my daughter took her life. I share these skills with my clients.
I conducted my doctoral dissertation on PTG in breast cancer survivors in 2010. It is important to note that PTG doesn’t discount the psychological distress that people experience in the aftermath of a trauma that is significant enough to have challenged or shattered one’s assumptions about the safety or predictability of the world. It merely posits that negative outcomes may not tell the complete story, as people have also reported some positive outcomes, mainly related to their sense of self, relation to others, and revised life goals/priorities, and/or increased spirituality.
For instance, some individuals report feeling more vulnerable, but also more prepared to face life’s challenges (both expected and unexpected), more appreciative of their relationships, and a renewed realization of what is most important in life, such as family, friends, community.
I agree that as mental health professionals we must be very careful not to communicate the expectation that PTG is necessary in order to heal, as it definitely is not, but awareness of the phenomenon can aid therapists in fostering growth if it is indeed recognized as occurring in their clients. I have found this useful in my clinical work with some clients who have experienced significant and sudden losses and catastrophes.
After watching your video it actually reminds me that I don’t know where I’m supposed to fit in this world anymore. I was sexually abused by numerous people as a child. One being a family member and the others we his friends and then also my mother’s boyfriend. We lived in a condemned house next to a nursing home and the elderly took care of my sister and I as far as getting meals. My other neighbors who knew that my mom worked 3 jobs and had 4 kids fed us as well. I moved out on my own when I was barely 17 and went to a trade school while working 2 jobs to support myself. I have been active in this profession for 26 years. So here’s my thing…I lived my life and felt really happy for many many years even with a few bumps in the road. But now…at 47 I have reverted back to my childhood and all of the trauma that I had endured 40 years ago. What happened? Why now? I have done a complete 180 and I really miss who I was even just a few years ago. Any ideas???
Complex PTSD is much harder. Coming from a childhood of abuse (physical, sexual and/or verbal) makes “bouncing back” and going higher much more challenging. However, once one starts to heal the early abuse, it is possible to go to a higher level. It has nothing to do with maturity–it has to do with healing. Also, most severe trauma we endured as a child is so complex that we cannot face it until we are in our 40’s or 50’s –finally having created safety enough for us to deal with it. I attend Adult Children of Alcoholics (and Dyfunctional Families) for support and have a trauma therapist. It’s like getting to know my abused child all over again that I had thought I had healed years ago. Nope. It was incredibly frustrating to have this powerless/victimized inner child rearing her head with anger and rage, absolute terror, and lots of behaviors show up that I had never (that I could remember) done before. I finally started reading about Complex PTSD, re-triggered trauma form childhood abuse, etc. as well reading some parts of the ACA material and it all started to make sense. You are not alone–I bet there are a lot of us out there! The good news is that I am slowly recovering and I am finding that I am slowly healing that terrified, shut down, raging child and I am finally feeling some repeated deep peaceful moments. I still miss my life I had built with a lot of hard work (like you!) but I am seeing glimpses of the other side of this that looks more grounded and better than before. Hang in there and get support. 🙂
I was excited to see this video and thought I might share it with some of my clients who suffer from post traumatic stress disorder. But as I watched I became very disappointed. I would never share it with a client. For example, I found it very discounting to start off by saying “most people” have a dip in their happiness after a trauma and then they are resilient and bounce back. Is that true? Is there research to support that? Perhaps so but many, many people do not just bounce back. A lot of it depends upon just how traumatic the trauma was and many other factors.
There are so many things I could say about why I believe a therapist would need to tread very cautiously into sharing the concept of post-traumatic growth with someone who has PTSD. First they are most likely already being told and expected by others to “get over it.” Implying, even hinting, that they should not only get over it but also that they should grow from it could be very detrimental to their recovery.
I have had the experience of growing from a major trauma in my life. But the growth only occurred, especially appreciating the growth only occurred, after I had recovered physically and psychologically from it. And I see this with my clients. If they grow from their traumas, it is after they are no longer in a state where they can be re-wounded by them.
My part as a victim of trauma is consumption.
I am fed with hours of support and hope-full compassion, care and kindness through sensitive guidance and listening until a transition occurs during which those things that are hoped for become assurances. There is a jump across the gap between hope and assurance which can be less stressful and anxiety provoking when boldness and confidence slowly emerge from the safety of the therapeutic environment, personal awareness and a nurturing environment. There are many variables but it is possible. There are many people but it is possible. It is an ongoing process but it is possible.
thank you for the video.. PTG can occur and also it is good to be mindful in broaching it with a client rendered powerless by trauma, to not put an expectation or a result orientated scent in the therapy room..
I work with traumatic grief and the growth can be anything from being able to get out of the bed , to not taking one’s life , to accepting the world and life you’ve known is gone..so I am very careful in ever raising the concept of trauma dividends and growth, because as the posts show trauma is such a unique experience to each person.. also my clients make me aware to never make them fit the theory, training or practice of the therapist.. for sure we need that training and self examination, but above all we that do ,this work must be done as it is, with love for them and ourselves
thank you to everyone who has posted I learned so much from you ..
Thank you, Ruth, for all of your wonderful information that you share. I absolutely agree that some people move to a higher level of happiness and maturity after trauma. I know I did. Learning about my own trauma has saved my life, given me deep meaning, independence and huge growth. That is why I became a Mental Health Therapist. I want to share the beauty and magic of life that I discovered by going through extreme situations that, as Bessel Van Der Kolk states, “Overwhelmed my ability to cope. I cannot get enough information from you! Thanks again. Keep doing what you are doing!
Definitely worth coming out the other side more resilient and stronger in yourself!! The process is slow and hard though. I think understanding is the key focus for health workers with people dealing with trauma. The most beneficial thing I’ve found is “ I’m noticing I’m having the thought that….” abs trying to let that go.
I am a patient (not psychologist).
1994 a resident grabbed my wrist and sat down quickly literally ripping me from left flutes to right shoulder blade… has never healed
1998 I was re-ended while stopped at red light. I suffered daily excruciating migraines and neck pains until Ajovy shot was given two months ago. This has given relief.
2018 my arches fell in both feet. Through x-rays I discovered osteoarthritis had developed in both feet and ankles. Pain is too much to walk.
My back keeps getting injured as well as my neck. Through trying to deal with the agony and dealing with the death of my husband in 2003, I have a new diagnosis: Recurrent Major Depressive Disorder. No longer can I count on my body to function properly where I can work 40 hours or even 20 hours. I have been denied Disability because doctor at Hearing said I could do production or housekeeping. Ludicrous! I get $26.44 per month from late husband’s pension, food stamps, & health insurance. I’ve tried over the years to work but physically cannot handle the pain. This makes me miserable because I have no one to help me. I feel worthless and like a huge burden to my 81 year old father. I try to count blessings which I do receive many. It’s just been heartache and trauma constantly. I no longer know how to feel happiness or meaning.
Any advice?
Hi Jen, for physical trauma you might want to explore working with a Hanna or Clinical Somatic Educator. CSEs help clients reclaim voluntary control of their muscles, with special, gentle movements. It is very different from physical therapy, bodywork, etc because it addressed the brain and nervous system. Good luck!
I have, for many years, spoken with my clients about having meaning I their lives and have found it to have profound effects, particularly on the newly-sober.
However, I believe this topic is much more complex than presented here.
There is trauma, and there is trauma, as Dana Lerner pointed out.
7 years ago, my youngest child and only son died in a car accident at the age of 22. This event changed me, my husband(his father) and his 2 older sisters. The hole left in our hearts and lives has been profound and shifted our family dynamic — not usually for the good. I have bounced back, I suppose you would say, to a point somewhat below my previous baseline.
9 months ago my husband of 40 years died. I find that I am now riding above even my highest baseline as I contemplate the changes I can make in my life and how I now what to live and even who I know what to be.
Perhaps a missing component here is power and control and the abilities to imagine positive possibilities.
I am so sorry for the losses in your life and for the grief that you have to face and work with.
What helped me when I was in a simmilair place was
honoring my child and my relationship and honoring my husband in the way who he was and the relationship with him. And I honoring myself in that interrelated circel. I held it all in my heart. With tenderness and kindnedd. And that turned out in renewed energy that I used to shape a new future.
It did take time …
May your experience work out for you in best possible ways.
Many blessings,
Margreeth
Wonderful to be reminded of the opportunity available to people during and after adversity. As a therapist, it would be important to stay attuned to the process and “meaning evolvement” of the client so their “growth opportunity” can be nurtured, as opposed to trying to get them to see the positive opportunity.
I am a psychotherapist and a bereaved mother. My 9 yr old son was killed by a taxi driver almost 6 years ago. I watched this video and interestingly, I read an article where a Holocaust Survivor said that losing her daughter was worse to her than the concentration camps. That really stayed with me bc I do not believe it is possible to have “post traumatic growth” after losing a child. One can do things to make meaning of child’s life which in turn can “parent the memory” but that is still not any anecdote for the horror, emptiness and despair of your child dying. Your life is forever changed. Everything that could have brought joy is tinged with the fact that your child is dead. And that can never change.
What are you thoughts on this? Have you studied this population?
Thank you,
Dana Lerner
I am deeply moved by your story. It’s been almost ten years since I lost my mother to a careless driver. The holes in surviving members’ hearts stay the same, regardless how much healing work we’ve done over the years. I agree, PTG is precious and uplifting but it does not apply to losing someone you love through tragedy.
I developed a training (global) on traumatic experience, loss and grief. Based on Awareness, selfcompassion and insight.
Please let me know how I can aid to your understanding if you are interested.
My only two children died at age 16 in an accident and age 29 from a stroke. I learned to be resilient and now cherish life like never before. Grief education is the most meaningful energizing work I have ever done. Thank you for all that you do.
Are you offering a training in Post-Traumatic Growth?
Thank you for this short video-for me as a combat vet it validates my journey of healing. What Dr. L spoke about with regard to a higher level of complex meaning has been my own journey. The awareness that life is precious and should be respected and revered could only be “indecent” not to be happy, but for me I reach for being in a state of Joy daily.
Most all alcoholics who recover have to hit a bottom or traumatic event in order to change. AA uses that experience strength and hope to change peoples lives for the better and it doesn’t cost money in AA
I witness gratitude and compassion and yes “growth” every time I work with cancer patients and their caregivers. I use all forms of creativity to help patients get out if their heads and into their hearts where real healing occurs.
When people can tune into themselves, shift their perspective on pain and disease, befriend their challenges, they can diffuse their experience of trauma.
Patricia Varga, Create to Heal
Dear Patricia,
Thank you for this pist. Are you able to connect with me? I offer lijeeise teachings in The Netherlands. Perhaps we can exchange some insights?
Thank you.
Margreeth
So sorry ment to say:
…post
…likewise
It is something I don’t talk about with my clients until they’ve made some considerable progress and I want to call attention to that for reinforcement. We might have a discussion about the phrase “everything happens for a reason “. I will say that I don’t like it but I think everything that happens to us makes who we are today. Then I will ask them to reflect what they see as coming from their trauma that makes them who they are. I keep that focus on positive results. It’s usually a real turning point to therapy. Great video.
I have experienced monumental trauma, time and time and time again.
I have reached a stage in my life now where everything brings me joy everything brings me happiness and at the same time I see and feel others suffering.
(I have always been HSP and felt the suffering of others – even before they knew them selves. I somehow would know what their issue was, what their problem was and where it came from (in a way) which I don’t fully understand (Yet at another level I really do).
I cannot pass a homeless person without giving them a dollar, a kind word, offering to get them a sandwich, a juice, even offering a kind word if I have nothing to give that day.
I give and share of my time, my musings, my light, my care with whomever I happen to have a little conversation with that day. Ppeople end up hugging me and thanking me and saying that’s exactly what they needed to hear. I love it thst I can help even a smidgeen.
I also have to practice a lot of self-care and regroup as I do that all the time.
I believe that these gifts are out of the Trumatic events and experiences that I have had.
I’ve overcome, I have not only persevered, I exude happiness n joy. The power of positive thinking has always been the way for me and this I have in abundance .
You cannot dismiss the power of positive thinking replacing a negative thought with a positive one it is beyond powerful and life-changing it’s not ignoring any of the suffering any of the pain that people cars are that have happened it’s changing how you bounce back each and every morning been given an opportunity to do better a bright new day to start all over again with a blue sky and trees and birds outside your window what’s not to love.You cannot dismiss the power of positive thinking – replacing a negative thought with a positive one – it is beyond powerful and life-changing.
it’s not ignoring any of the suffering any of the pain that has happened. it’s changing how you bounce back.
each and every morning being given an opportunity to do better, a bright new day to start all over again, how joyful
with a blue sky and trees and birds outside your window …. what’s not to love.
(many don’t get it but that’s OK they will somehow, adjust a lil each n every day, with hope in your heart and gratitude for all that you have survived and have now.
Positivity – now
that’s my path, has always been my path and I believe it always will be and it’s bringing tenderness, joy, happiness, care, concern, peace, quiet, A listening ear – Even for the briefest amount of time.
happens over and over and over and over again.
all the peoples lives that we touch with our kindness makes a difference in the world those that need it and to myself it fills my days with wonder.
Be well all
there is so much good in the world open your heart and your mind to it and it will flood in.
Peace.
MFW
Hello,
I would like to believe that PTSD survivors can triumph over their illness and I am hopeful that it can be achieved but, it is my belief, this can happen only with collaboration and validation.
Isolation of a person or ostracism leaves a person in his head to work through the tragic event that led them to where they are at this time.
I am a trauma survivor. I am 63 years old. I feel I am making progress finally after seeking out support from other avenues which included coming out of isolation and moving from no houses around me to a small city. I surround myself with people. I can see life in a neighborhood. I walk my dog where I see people. I am doing good work with young adults from an inner city.
I do not look for validation from those that did the trauma because I do not believe that will happen and years of yearning for that did not make it come to fruition.
Most days I feel happy now. Trauma is a part of us. To embrace it and maybe help another in some other way due to the amount of compassion I do have for those that hurt, that helps me as well.
So, yes, I believe we all can move forward wIth other’s support. Working alone through any of it, in my opinion, does not work.
Thank you.
Deborah
I use the analogy that after trauma people try to live in the picture the have rather than drawing themselves a new picture. So I work with the clients to look forward and identify a new picture for themselves. This takes time and we do a vision board of what their picture was and is now and it’s easy for the to draw the picture that was, but not easy for the new picture they want now ,so we we work on new goals and plans for their lives and vision board of what the the pic was and then discuss how to get to the new one ie identify what they do want in their live to achieve their goals and what they do not want, so they can identify these things if they come along ie is this going to further my goal or is it going to take me away from what I want. People are then able to see light at the end of the tunnel and draw their new pic and be more positive and courageous and walk towards it. They have so much more resilience and are much stronger people whom the trauma has changed. Doing this I have seen people become much stronger and better equipped for life, and able to walk forward. so I loved this video and will use this in my practice as well. Thank you
Karen
Love this idea. I will use it. Thanks for sharing.
I agree that people can emerge from traumatic events stronger than before that occurance. Some persons get stronger by realizing their self worth, and think thoughts that can empower them to rely on their own will power as well as believe in a higher power than themselves to gain strenght and resilience. Also, good family and supportive friends can also be of help. Many persons believe in a higher power to bolster their courage to move on.
In my own life I experienced physical abuse from birth by an older sibling. At age five years old I watched my Mother die right in front of me on the kitchen floor. I suppressed these memories for years. When I was in my early thirties I started having dreams of my mother dieing on the kitchen floor in front of me. I recalled details of her death in my dreams. I finally confirmed the details of my mother’s death after having these dreams for two and a half months by talking with my stepmother.
She was amazed at how much details I recalled in my dreams. Still to this very moment I can visualize my mother’s eye’s and I can feel how still the air felt around me as I watched the light of life disapate from my mother’s beautiful eye’s! At the age of only five years young I experienced the loss of life of my mother. From that moment and throughout my entire life I have always known how precious everyone’s life is. I value life as well as everything GOD has graciously given all of us. I can tell you from my own experience in my life that I’ve matured at an earlier age than others. I appreciate life and I enjoy sharing my own life experience with others to hopefully enlighten them to an understanding of life and how precious life is. I also hope that my own life experience helps others to see how we take for granted and waste so much of our precious time of our lives. I’ve always believed that we all have responsibilities to helping the future generations live a better life then what our lifetime was. Learn from our mistakes and education of our young generations from the elders is essential to ensuring a higher educated and peaceful humanity for all generations to come.
Thank you,
Maureen L. Walker
Hi: I agree…now…initially w/PTSD…this person was depressed…suffering nightmares…episodes of trauma….but now after 4 yrs…t/notes on his talks have changed …for t/better…his kids were always absent bcuz of his down days…t/days…in short…r not perfect BUT thrs more laughter that wasn’t thr b4…slow but sure he’s here in present more! 🙂
I had a stem Cell Transplant knowing it had significant dangers.
It went wrong, very wrong. My body closed down and Practically died.
I was on full life support for 5 days followed by 5 weeks in hospital.
On my return home I couldn’t walk, toilet, shower, eat etc without great assistance and just sobbed daily from the trauma. We didn’t think I’d ever bounce back but that’s exactly what I did after months and months.
That life and death trauma was a gift. My life, thinking, behavior and values are forever changed. My life has so much morre quality.
Thanks to a myriad of people.
So glad this message came up for me, thank you. I have suffered adversity. My journey back from demise …… to heal has been my most wonderful, enlightening life lesson ? if these ….. situations hadn’t presented themselves in my life….well I can only say …. I wouldn’t be the amazing, powerful person I am today….. I sat on my comfy victim couch for far to long ? forgiveness has been a huge part of my recovery amongst many other beautiful….. please excuse this very unprofessional word “things” ….. you can heal from trauma….. I know this to be true as I have had this journey ? I would love to help help other suffers…. its magical when achieved ?? blessings to you and your incredible work ???
I must one of the few that haven’t bounced back.. after 13 yrs of many many major traumatic events from lose of a spouse in a violent death to facing my own mortality.. whilst juggling the effects of these on teenage children to life being turned up side down multiple times…I used to think I was resolving to being resilient..but now I struggle more and more… I miss happiness…I miss me!!
I’m so sorry to read that you feel you haven’t moved through your trauma. I’d encourage you to find a counselor that can help you on this journey. If you have been seeing someone for more than a year and really seen no improvement, it may be time to find someone else. Especially someone who can help you reflect openly on any progress you may have made. Sometimes it looks so small that we might negate or not recognize it. Best wishes for moving forward and through.
Rebecca, sometimes survival is the most profound form of resilience. I truly wish you continued healing and peace, and also just want to acknowledge that if you are still keeping on after losing your spouse to violence, facing your own mortality, and supporting your children in the aftermath, you are amazing.
Rebecca,
Thanks for sharing. Because you are sharing I have no doubt that you are ready for healing. You have a story to tell that will help so many. Be brave and seek help for yourself. You are worth it!
Hi Ruth. I was compelled to write a comment to the above video – never done anything like this before. ? Im not a therapist but a fellow survivor of abandonment and severe emotional neglect (that I have only just realised the severity of), and am currently learning how much it has impacted my life. Just coming to terms with this over the past couple of years, and Just this morning I had a massive realisation that ALL my personal power, strength, ability to speak my truth emotional honesty and vulnerability has been put into my shadow side as a way to cope with this trauma. Over the past 6months, I have literally become a different person, feeling my personal power for the first time in my life (strangely scary and overwhelming!) and now being able to live with much more openness, honesty and integrity. But this has only occurred because I stopped talking with my parents 3years ago (long story) and since then, I’ve been able to grow into the lovely, caring, vulnerable and strong/resilient person I have always been under the walls of self-protection I have Imprisoned myself in all of my life. Feeling truly liberated and free to be myself. Of course, this has come at a cost to the relationships with those who kept me down (parents/husband) but has been so worth it to find this inner piece. And to think I have been living with the belief that I am naughty and disrespectful all my live. Such bullsh1t! Thanks for the opportunity to share my story xx
Hi Jo Seecharan, thank you for what you shared. Your trauma and what you described as the impact in terms of your shadow really makes sense to me. I have never quite thought of it in those terms but when I look at my struggles throughout life and even to today it really fits. Thanks for sharing your story and the hope and inspiration embedded in your healing and recovery.
Hello Jo, Let me introduce myself.
I’m Maureen L. Walker and I wrote a comment just as you have done. After writing my comment I scrolled down reading the comments of others and then I came to your comment. As I was reading what you wrote I suddenly realized how similar your life experience was to my own life experience. You described how I to felt throughout my entire life perfectly with the words you used and wrote. I thank you for enlightening my life by sharing your own personal life experience.
GOD BLESS YOU! Maureen L. Walker
I’m not a therapist, but I have been through trauma and great loss. I have been in therapy and a member of a womens psychotherapy group for over 4 years. I notice I have learnt to communicate much more appropriately, using I statements and expressing my feelings and reactions in a better calmer way. Cry sometimes yes, but never raise my voice. A relative that I haven’t seen for a long time is visiting and it’s interesting to see how she will snap at me, raise her voice and use words like “always” and “every time”. I suddenly feel like the adult in the room who would never shout at someone or bite their head off, because I have better ways of showing my feelings or talking something through respectfully. So I have grown.
As therapist and trauma-survivor I am more happy than before. Why? Coz I accepted death. It s not important to me that I am alive or dead. “Of course I love life. I embrace it.”
Which therapy helped me? Not CBT (useless method when there is trauma), EMDR (just partly), SensoriMotorPsychotherapy (mostly after the attachment issues were treated with a lot of fysical work in warm, safe embedding, touch etc).
Was there a therapy that helped you? I was waiting in your comment. I’m a marriage and family therapist too and consider myself very eclectic in my methods. Always looking for new opportunities to learn.
Wonderful information! Having the research to bolster the re-framing and challenging of maladaptive thoughts and beliefs with clients is powerful. Thank you for sharing!
As I’ve experienced this kind of growth after trauma, I know it is possible. I share with my clients that challenges present opportunity for growth. It’s a paradigm shift that gradually occurs with the client as their lives become more vital and meaningful. We have discussions about forming healthy boundaries, asking for what they want (communication skills) and healing past hurt through paying attention to the body (The Body Keeps the Score) when triggers re-occur. There’s more but that’s the basic approach.
I agree, Kristine. That is what helped me the most as a survivor of a serious SUV rollover accident, divorce and near firing from my job. Thank you.
Hi Ruth,
From the trauma training I got from you, I thought about the 3 systems of the brain which I use the acronym PET System as a way to remind myself. Protective, Emotional and Thinking Systems. In regards to the trauma training, and this video it seems to me that after trauma that any of the 3 systems can override or prevent the other systems from recovering and returning to the baseline or beyond.
Our task is to see which system is best connect with first. It seems to me in this scenario with the holocaust survivors, that allowing them to tell the whole story with a good listening ear, gets it all out there for the person to be more conscious of, (good listening skills) and to then use the “name the feeling skills” to help them become more aware of their emotional system’s process and then the same with asking about their physical sensations. (top down approach. As we become more skilled, we learn how best to balance the top down and bottom up approaches. This video was very helpful, very resourceful. thanks
“tell me about your story and what it means to you and what it feels like in the telling, as I really want to know.”
I think the situation of PTG may be very different for reasonably emotionally healthy adults recovering from the loss of a spouse/having a diagnosis etc than for those who have suffered repeated chronic childhood trauma, abuse, neglect, abandonment. For us, there is no baseline level of happiness to compare PTG to.
I agree, Beaula. Thanks.
Yes, that illustration of having a certain level of happiness which dips with trauma and then rebounds to a higher level does not work for anyone who has only known life with trauma. In one sense, all growth is post-traumatic growth then. Perhaps it would be more useful to think of trauma work as climbing hills, cliffs, or mountains to reach new plateaus of peace and happiness over the course of one’s lifetime.
I met this writer who is Reyna Grande and she is really and inspiring motivational speaker who against all odds went to a quest to find within her inner world the complexity of the history of her life as an immigrant in this lifetime. Very easy to relate to and I want to share that her book is called “a dream call home” (2019) Reading it feels like in therapy and getting stronger and stronger afterwards.
My book Going Home: The Lost Story of Chief the Fire Dog exemplifies PTG. It’s a historical novel based on the true story of the only fire dog preserved by the NYC Fire Department in their museum. I was inspired to write it to reach out to 9/11 survivors, especially, the children whose parents didn’t come home that day. However, the story has helped many adults whose traumatized inner children have never been acknowledged.
Out of hundreds of clients, I have only had one that had significant PTG. That was a case of eartly trauma, trauma from mistreatment in a hospital at age two, followed by sexual abuse and death of her mother. When we resolved the early hospital event, her sense of reality shifted greatly and she was able to experience the full physical and emotional life for the first time, and she was really happy that she had had the more recent traumas which led her to seek therapy. Most clients experience improvements in their lives and relief from symptoms, but this was true PTG!
Owdy butifuel
I am finding that Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) is very helpful in turning trauma on its head.
The research on memory shows that, after contacting the images and feelings of a trauma or of a phobia, there is a window of reconsolidation in which, if the memory and feelings are changed for the better, the experience cannot be put away by the brain in the same way. The person still knows what happened but the impact is transformed. The memory research uses a drug to prevent the memory/trauma from being put away by the brain in the same way. ART does not use a drug, but instead has a way of clearing sensations and feelings from the body. The old scenario can then be replaced by a new one.
ART was developed by Laney Rosensweig soon after she learned EMDR. ART uses eye movements but in a structure that leads to resolution of a particular trauma within a session.
Barbara Frederickson, who has studied positive emotion, Happened to be in NYC conducting research when the 9/11 attacks happened. She found that people who bounced back gave their attention to good things, like moving stories of people helping other people.
I’ve experienced this with grieving families: some families go back and forth between their pain of loss and relishing stories that show something wonderful, something they loved, about the deceased.
Four months ago, I had a traumatic accident in which I lay on the pavement with many broken bones. During the first few days as I went in and out of consciousness, my mind would go to the enormous kindness I received from strangers. Each time it moved me as I let it in. I still can experience this feeling. I believe this has buoyed my recovery.
Maybe it’s oxytocin that helps.
I’d like more on her perspective on how to help people who don’t automatically see the growth from traumatic events, change their outlook so they can grow.
My name is Edna Sailor. I am an author, a writer, a public speaker and a survivor of childhood molestation. I always knew I reacted to things differently than most other people I knew. I never knew why, however. In 2016 I was triggered by the Hollywood access tape of Donald Trump. It flattened me. I sought help from a trusted friend/counselor. After hearing my story she encouraged me to write. My book published in 2018 is my story. Alfalfa Girl, The Path From Childhood Molestation To Soul was extremely healing for me. Over time, I left a bad relationship, struck out on my own and searched for a way to “take the next step.” I did not, however know what that was. I donated a copy of my book to our local library and she asked me if I would like to do a talk on my book. My workshop was born then. I am still in the infancy stages of my quest to bring education and hope to victims, survivors and communities. I am not a doctor or a counselor, so I am careful not to do those services. I am an authorized representative of NAASCA, the National Association of Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse. This experience with my workshop has afforded me a great deal of growth. I research new information coming out which is how I ended up connected to this site. I am also following a doctor by the name of Bessel Van Der Kolk and his research. Each time new information comes out it allows me many aha moments into how my own five time molestations before the age of 11 have impacted my life in ways I never imagined. I am 72 now and my book has been slow to sell, which is both understandable but disappointing to me. That aside, my focus is on this final step of growth which seems to have emerged as helping others and supplying harmony and growth for myself at the same time. Much success to what you do. I am following and using this information as best I can. Edna Sailor, byedna@gmail.com.
This is an example of the belief that all things CAN be turned to good. Scar tissue really is stronger than regular skin-just like a person who has overcome adversity has become stronger or wiser. A person that has survived a challenge has the opportunity to wrap their arms around the challenge and embrace what has come with a curiosity that asks “what have you come to teach me?”
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I am currently coping with a very recent trauma, but it is not my first. I am 49 and I’ve spent most of my adult life in CBT for treatment of childhood abuse and neglect. As unfortunate as the recent events have been, I have come to realize that I am, in fact, more healed than broken. If anything, the most recent trauma has opened my eyes to life in a way that 20+ years of therapy simply didn’t. Thank you for this article on post traumatic growth and for putting a name to what I am happy to finally be experiencing.
This type of information is really important for my clients to hear. Knowing that not only is it possible for them to recover from their traumatic event, but that in the healing they can actually find a level of satisfaction and peaceful living, is a highly rewarding awareness.
If we’re talking about PTG, I highly recommend “the choice” be Edith Eger. This quote is written on the cover:
‘A gift to humanity. One of those rare and eternal stories that leave you forever changed'” – Desmond Tutu
Thank you for the contrast perspectives with regards to the holocaust survivors. As I have chosen to move through my own trauma, I too faced the guilt of choosing to find joy in life and was able to resolve it by acknowledging that if something better doesn’t come from our experiences, what is the use of living?
I now, use my own experience to assist my clients in coming to terms with the choice that lies ahead for them in what they can receive from this experience that will allow them to grow from the experience in ways they never imagined possible if they are willing.
While there are those who are able to reach the Post Traumatic Growth by themselves or learning from the experience in a positive manner, there are those who remain in the state of Post Trauma.
if they have to understand their potential for Post Traumatic growth,It is important to guide the client to revisit the traumatic experience, after they are able to handle it better, to SEE what they did during the situation and in the course of the recovery and resolution. This helps in the client actually see themselves not just as ‘Victims’ but as someone who was ‘Able To’ deal with the situation.
The latent strengths that were till then not noticed, get actually acknowledged by the client himself or herself who till then was unaware of those strengths.
My own personal experience of traumas have taken me through phases of propulsion and stagnation. What I have time and again noticed personally, professionally and even Socially is that human beings have the tendency to nurture the wounds not working towards healing whenever the environment allows this luxury.