How to Work with Patients Whose Trauma Triggers Problems in Their Current Relationships
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with Stephen Porges, PhD;
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with Stephen Porges, PhD; Terry Real, MSW, LICSW;
Janina Fisher, PhD Richard; Schwartz, PhD; Pat Ogden, PhD; Martha Sweezy, PhD, LICSW; Bessel van der Kolk, MD; Ruth Lanius, MD, PhD; Deb Dana, LCSW; Thema Bryant-Davis, PhD; Ruth Buczynski, PhD
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this was excellent. the teenage adapted child.i lost my right hand between wrist and elbow to a booby trap detonator look like a fat pen,that my sister 8 years old, pick up in the street when she came back from getting the bread. that was in ww2 in normandy france. i was 2 years old. after the war i was send to a reeducation school for children hurt in the war. about 50 i was the youngest. i came back to my family i was 10 and i don’t have any memories at all of it. my parent separated then.the teenage adapted child,rather rigid, perfectionist…i am a super achiever obsessive compulsive. i build a residency for artists.www azule.org. i am now 82 year. i was trying to find the non verbal child than i couldn’t access. this is very helpful to me i will try to talk to that adapted teen.my husband died 24 years ago. multiple sclerosis.i live alone. thank, the adapted teen might be talking to me.
I have been so fortunate to have had a psychiatrist who was aa all of you rolled into one person. He was ahead of his time and was awarded two Gold Medal Achievement Awards from the American Psychiatric Association. Interestingly, the award is not to be given twice to the same doctor but they did not know he was the same doctor. He helped me save my life. He has recently passed on and I am in need of compassionate expertise. I live not far from London, ON where Ruth Lanius is located.
As a teacher of children for over two decades, I have come to think in this way: just as the gardener looks to the soil for the health of plants, so should society look to the classroom and childhood for the roots of societal maladies or flourishing. What you have offered here is precious, and yet, I wish to request that you expand and create summits specifically designed for teachers and parents: they are suffering intensely, and their children/young adults, who, osmotically absorb the traumatic expressions of their parents subconscious behavior. My take today is that suffering is precious, as it allows us to be fully present with one another, with a an open heart, yet not depleted, not discouraged, not overwhelmed or burnt-out, but fully human. This said, we don’t stop bringing awareness to it, for herein lies the jewel, the pearl we have come for.
Thanks
It will be interesting to see how I will be next time in Wave Work session.
How this will stick with me.
Many things á know and som things new.
love listening to you.
Love and light
Guðfinna
I am very grateful for your wonderful work! I learned so much theory and practical tips!… can’t wait to put them into practice. Please continue doing this, you’re helping society immensely!
I just want to express my very sincere gratitude and appreciation for allowing me the benefit of listening to this course. I cannot afford to purchase it but I definitely feel that it is worth its cost – priceless for me.
In the window of tolerance, a person can BOTH think and feel.
A very important and helpful skill is to be present with the person; to be a witness.
Paula, beautiful words. I wonder if there is an even more descriptive word that could advance the term/reality we know as “tolerance”… do you know ow what I mean? It seems to me that “tolerance ” bears a slight connotation of “putting up with “, rather rhan fully respecting or allowing… I am pondering and coming up with a few words…
Thank you for your comment: it made me reflect on this point.
Thank You for your service which included the opportunity for being able to hear invaluable talks by many Professional Dr’s share in their own respective work with us, by including insightful method’s, related to the knowledge of understand’g a person mind,&physiological response’s to Trauma, with what has occurred A disassociated state related to how affected by this within one’s own physical body which is a response to Trauma within itself,& context of underlying what their own need’s, is crucial to understand how self awareness is with their own perception of themselves of behaviour’s Relates to personally with being wounded in deeper areas of heart in being damaged by those who were meant to be their protectors,& guardians of tvhemselves as a human being! They who’ve had a responsibility to care for by nurturing given to as a precious child,& gift
who’s dependent upon them for awhile, yet made for higher purposes with need’s to be loved deeply cared for cherish as valuable life gift given to nurture as responsible adults!
treats another’s humanity, which does reveal matters of the person’s heart
state by being valued by people ‘Worthy’ reflects in Life by being an individual who’s able to be in show’g humility!
Gill Harvey 
Need to develop who they become in see’g their child need’s support in being who they’ll become in order, to not only survive but thrive in context of discovering love,& reflect what they’ve learnt in heart to parental care with being listen’g to,& acknowledges in their own person with learn’g from who they are,& as a person involved with their’s to parent’s role,& attitude’s which are reflected by their values?
What results are produced by them in being able to grow,& separately from other’s,& still
feel’g an acceptance of their own person with who they are for which they’re being included. They still part of their own family with parent’s but are in the process of need’g to find their own identity with maturing, within how they grow,& become to have their own idea’s with opinions as teenager’s,& into their young life as adult’s; who hopefully have been taught this in values of morales of respect,&with right behaviour in build’g up self esteem of other’s? A person need’s to know their own self worth, with who they are in solid foundational values of good boundaries included in life’s journey. How we live in life by regard’g how
Being a human role model,& mentor for,& with people enables them to be open in way’s that can make one’s life better to make difference for themselves,& other’s, with just being able to give time,& for their need’s with personally
involved in being to be part of their life growth process,& which will impact on providing with individual opportunity’s to share in,& with as a privilege while grow’g as children as younger person in throughout teenage years into rest of their own life journey which is essential with own personal development in self identity as a person to be expression of personal growth in who they are,& have become for self,& how they relate in relationship’s within their family?
So grateful that you shared these videos for free. Lots of take aways from every session. Every session has relevant information to the work I do with my clients. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and expertise.
The reminder re the misinterpretation of social cues based on responses to past trauma in relationships was very useful.
I gained greater understanding of why the individual may engage in serial abusive relationships and mistrust potentially healthy relationship. THIS is significant.
I think the use of a somatic approach to change the body-to-body communication could be much more effective than talking about the specific events/feelings in may cases. There usually are visible physical responses evident, so bringing those into awareness could be very important.
Another excellent presentation. I look forward to implementing and exploring these new insights further.
Thank you.
Than you so much for this program. I try to attend the free masterclass every time you offer it an I learn so much each time.
My sense of self is enormously influenced by this program! thank you!
I feel supported, decoded and given tools to use in daily living with my own parts, as a mom and with people around.
I was raised by mom that was a child in the war, my compassion for her grow even more.
Now I am also filled with compassion for my own wounded child and adoptive child.
Thank you for a creative, comprehensive and transformational program!
ask what the good purpose of the part was? That is important.
Resourcing through validation of past experiences whole reconfiguring past strategies offers a hopeful opening. I look forward to working with this in a clinical context. Thank you for this excellent series.
*while
Thank you so much for such a deeply helpful program for me as therapist and my patients.
Great insights! Experiencing this learning experience again reaffirms much of not only points raised in my research entitled: “Lives unseen: unacknowledged trauma of non-disordered, competent Adult Children Of Parents with a Severe Mental Illness” at The University of Melbourne, Australia, but also reinforces a new grief theory called “Socially Incongruent Grief” (SIG). If interested, google Suzette Misrachi for the 4 introductions to SIG, originally published for psychiatrists and mental health practitioners along with other relevant articles should come up.
Thank you everyone at NICABM. I wish I could afford to buy the gold package! Sorry that this is the last of the series. Please try to continue. This work is so critical… It needs to be shared with the rest of the world.
With much gratitude,
Suzette Misrachi, Melbourne, Australia.
Thank you! I appreciated Janina Fisher’s comment, “You don’t choose them, your body does.” That is clients who repeatedly gravitate toward unhealthy relationships. For me, this separates the issue from the identity of the client and connects it to the nervous system that was traumatized as a child yearning for connection. I plan to integrate this point with one client, a classic example!
So many take aways . In my work I find it challenging when those in abusive relationships keep returning to them – Janina Fischer’s insights on this was illuminating ” we are biologically wired to seek out our attachment figures in times of stress” – so if our attachment figure was abusive or neglectful or checked out than that is the kind of person we seek out …
Can it be that simple ?
Also the part on the Adaptive Child was very illuminating as well.
Thank you so much
In gratitude,
Lily
Thank you for all the work that went into this training and for providing these videos for free this week. As a post-doc fellow in clinical psych, I learned so much and have already been putting the new language I learned from here (and perspectives from polyvagal and IFS approaches) into practice this week and have had some pretty rewarding sessions that visibly meant so much to my patients.
I am grateful for your generosity of sharing.
The sessions I was able to see in this series were enlightening, instructive, and thought-provoking. What a fine labor of care! All the practitioners who participated were both impressive and persuasive, and their collective wisdom is indeed gold. This last session, especially, made me want to purchase the gold package, but I am a layperson in uncertain financial circumstances that make even the discounted rate daunting right now. Deep thanks for the chance to access this series without cost. I am grateful to everyone who made that possible–it really is an extraordinary kindness and service.
I agree with you so much, on all points! This series has been such a valuable and generous gift.
I have attended all five sessions this week – at least twice because there is so much to absorb! As a graduate student completing the final practicum, I am incredibly grateful for this free resource, as my work is all pro bono, and it costs me thousands per semester on top of my regular tuition to offer this service. (So thanks to those who can afford to pay for the Gold package and support this work).
The variety of presenters, who work from different theoretic orientations, helped to highlight the common themes – the importance of the therapeutic relationship; the recognition that trauma responses are adaptive and have served a good purpose. They also helped to show differing approaches, expanding my knowledge of areas that I am interested in learning more about, such as IFS.
Thanks again for all you do. Equipping a therapist, can bring healing to a client, which impacts their family, their community and can ripple beyond that to the world. What you are doing here, online, is important!
The information shared here has opened my eyes to how we as people operate from our traumas. Recognizing the impact of these experiences on how we make decisions and ways to rewrite our own coding, has been a profound realization for me. I appreciate the example provided about the client with sexual trauma (prostitution). The therapist assisted her with finding a useful tool in her survival part, which highlighted her strength to work through hard things and gave an opportunity for her to incorporate that into the therapeutic process. I also found the dialogue about having the partner in a relationship learn how to help the client experiencing a freeze response return to the present. The information has helped me recognize more questions I can ask and how to assist a client with identifying strengths they can learn from through various types of experiences.
This program made me so happy! Now I am equipped with more palpable and subtle observations and insights than I had even hoped for. Enrapt student thanks you, the team, and all participants.
I have a beginner’s mind at 65 yrs old. Finally, you’ve given me a way to name my issues which helps me accept myself. I’ve learned how I carry my shame, how we can heal, and help our relationships. Everything you’ve presented is new to me, so it all has occupied my mind; pushing out the old self deprecating internal dialog…that is a result of trauma, as you taught, not my inability to control my body’s innate self preservation physiology. Thank-you! Cynthia
Thank you so much. As a lay person, these sessions have helped me understand so many of the issues I’ve been working to change and the ways that my therapist has been helping me. It’s been like jigsaw pieces falling into place.
Wonderful work!