Treating the Scars of Abandonment: How to Work with the Enduring Impact
with Bessel van der Kolk, MD; Janina Fisher, PhD; Karlen Lyons-Ruth, PhD; Ruth Lanius, MD, PhD; Martin Teicher, MD, PhD; Pat Ogden, PhD; Usha Tummala-Narra, PhD; Eboni Webb, PsyD; Martin Bohus, PhD; Megan Schmidt, PsyD; Ruth Buczynski, PhD
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I would be interested to know whether Dr. Robert Naviaux’s concept of the cell danger response is associated with hypoarousal and ‘preparing for death.’ Can the actual shutdown of mitochondria result from inescapable trauma?
I will only say this much. I am grateful to you for this opportunity as a student and self-advocate. I will do self-care and plus take the gold level when I can. I love this and I am learning so much. I’ve gone through a lot myself. I am working on My Masters. I use assistive technology with a screen reader and magnification. I only ask of good recommendations for books video and besides the great courses here. I plan to take as much as possible. Is there any material in large print if not that is ok I can adjust. there are sources for print disabled for this I can offer elsewhere. In two years i will get my licensure. It is stellar material and is well put together. I wonder If National University knows of it. I will ask my Professor in the MFT courses. Trauma is the focus and for healing too. I hope that the book recommendations weren’t going past a boundary or ethical concerns.
Appreciated knowing that bi-polar is recognized as trauma associated (seems obvious), and that we’re understanding that all symptoms are attempts, albeit unconsciously, to adapt and feel safer in a threatening environment (real or imagined). I’d also strongly urge any of you to check out Voice Dialogue/The Aware Ego Process for not only accessing any/all relevant “parts”, but their opposite/complimentary polar energies, as one becomes able to find a centered, healing, aware choice option. Compassion naturally flows. Last comment: I healed tremendously, and went on to work with many clients, with “inner child”/Original Pain Work (Dr. Kip Flock) decades ago, and? Laying on hands, feeling into the somatic lodgings of trauma memory, along with some shamanic journey, and/or breathwork techniques can also accomplish wonders, when a seasoned practitioner is involved. Thank you for your caring, skills, wishing all many blessings.
Insightful and focused. Thank you.
I am wondering if any therapists are dealing with the effects of entertainment violence of all kinds (TV, music, games, FaceBook disqualifications) and whether you prescribe limiting entertainment time, types of programs that are to be avoided or sought, or discuss media literacy. Back in the early 80s, I was involved in communicating concerning research findings about entertainment violence. Funding for our work became a major problem because the main harmful effect was desensitization to violence as an issue. People didn’t “think” it was a problem. Research evidence was disregarded because of public opinion polls! I would be interested to hear comments from therapists who address media usage with their clients.
What was very powerful in this session is to learn that those with deep abandonment issues have difficulty learning self-compassion and this area needs to be approached slowly, with sensitivity, because vulnerability is threatening to those who feel a strong urge to prioritize survival.
Wow! Borderline Personality Disorder connected to Trauma.
COMPASSION is for me the base line when working with patients.
Thanks for bringing up the importance of the Internal Image, as well as for the words/ steps for attachment: would you be interested, could you listen, may you touch, get closer…
Thanks
The distinction Dr. Bohus made between fear of being alone or lonely, and the threat of existential annihilation, resonated. It is very hard for the traumatized person to communicate that to others. Very useful for couples work.
I use Janina Fisher’s approach in my own trauma recovery therapy. Her comments about healing attachment are exactly true for me. Thanks to all for this helpful presentation.
Thank you for this wonderful workshop. So reassuring and encouraging to be able to understand these approaches more deeply and reflect positively on how to best to support work with clients.
I appreciate all the information but I do not have the skills to implement.
I personally know people who I believe would benefit from this type of therapy.
I would love to know more about the use of psychedelics. thanks
for someone who hasn’t done direct services for a very long time, the idea that borderline personality disorder is a trauma disorder was very eye opening. Of course it is! Will help me be more compassionate to those who exhibit those traits. “Not what’s wrong with you, but what happened to you” applies yet again.
Mia Elyse Elliott, MA, AMFT
After experiencing the session today, I have learned a new and, I believe, more effective approach to working with my Borderline client. The aspect of perceiving the Client’s behavior through the prism of Trauma most definitely clarifies the underlying issues much better for me and allows for an alternative effective therapeutic approach.
Having just been diagnosed with BPD at the age of 46, any language that is not demonizing is very healing to experience!
I am not a practitioner myself, but found this useful in trying to navigate and heal from my CPD. I have had to do a lots of my own research due to a serious lack of qualified or helpful therapist in Slovakia.
Vulnerability + compassion pose as a threat to survivors of childhood abandonment was such an eye opener. Thanks for creating this insightful program and welcoming non practitioners to it. Inclusivity is great in todays world.
I appreciated the way you brought the client into compassion for his/her younger self by degrees. I will use this Thank you!
It’s long been recognised that the tragically ubiquitous Borderline Personality Disorder frame is a crude, often over-simplified, prejudiced & ‘catch-all’ ‘cop out’ diagnosis that serves clients very minimally. And serves to just stigmatise the client as a ‘difficult case’ Whereas the Trauma informed model presents an effective, empathetic map of conditioning, symptoms & healing recovery modality. The BPD by its very inherent limitations & prejudiced uniformed nature should be completely resigned as a diagnosis.
This is such a refreshing take and I completely agree. I went with Trauma Induced Reactionary Emotional Dysregulation (TIRED) as a better suited name for it. Also I found some of the methods in DBT to be very effective such as the Distress Tolerance Skills but others seems more invalidating so I think we need to work on first understanding the clients and validation because a lot of times the therapeutic relationship will be the first and sometimes only healthy relationship in their life.
Yes it’s a high needs situation but I also thing if you are therapist that cannot dedicate that time then working with these particular patients would be better left to those who can.
I have a patient who suffered from childhood trauma, abuse. His grandfather helped him survive. He struggles to see how his past is contributing to a very unpleasant marriage. To complicate things, his eldest son was just killed in a car accident leaving a wife and 2 kids. These strategies suggested have given me some new tools to try. Thank you!
Maternal withdrawal can be so damaging for a child, even when she is “physically present”. I would add that cell phones are withdrawing mothers from their responsibility to care for their children.
We need to educate mothers in order to pay more attention to their children
I have taken away the voice recording of a relaxation exercise to give my clients. To try to engage the clients gradually in internalising their parts and gradually building their inner compassion and letting their parts know that they are seen clearly by themselves.
I really appreciated the re-framing of clients with Borderline Personality Disorder, this is a powerful shift that
has given me new insights into how best help clients. I had an ah ha moment when thinking of one client.
I wish to thank you all for sharing your valuable knowledge.
It’s long been recognised that the tragically ubiquitous Borderline Personality Disorder frame is a crude, often over-simplified, prejudiced & ‘catch-all’ ‘cop out’ diagnosis that serves clients very minimally. And serves to just stigmatise the client as a ‘difficult case’ Whereas the Trauma informed model presents an effective, empathetic map of conditioning, symptoms & healing recovery modality. The BPD by its very inherent limitations & prejudiced uniformed nature should be completely resigned as a diagnosis.
I was struck by many similarities with IFS in today’s session, but IFS was not yet mentioned. Also, the info was very logical, yet left me with a sense of the overwhelming, far reaching impact of the something a person has no control over–how their caregivers left their brains to be wired to often instantly switch to a “prepare for death” neural network, which seems that it would be felt, even if not directly activated, by the “I will be rejected” network. I have heard an individual talk about this near constant feeling, and they even (seemingly permanently) rejected the most loving relationship and compassion/vulnerability available to them when that was activated. While I think I see now how that happened, it seems so almost impossible to address it without intense therapy, and many of these people who don’t think they experienced trauma (as this person), will not seek THE RIGHT kind of therapy–even when they do seek treatment–and stay stuck. It’s incredibly disheartening.
Not much new information here. Old and well known ideas are rehashed as “new insights”. For example:, papers on trauma origins of BPD have been in press for at east 20 years, but the idea is presented here as new and cutting edge; or “let your patient know the treatment schedule” because it helps them understand that there is order and predictability in the world and in treatment. seriously? No way I’m going going to pay money for hearing that, no matter how many times i’m asked to “buy the gold package”.
Sorry, this just doesn’t cut it.
The treatment approaches all strongly ech both the ancient Buddhist self Compassion Empathy therapeutic approach & effect of the Bramha Viharas meditation. Which on itself is the basis model for the Garmer, Neff Self-Compassion/Fierce Compassion therapeutic practices. Predating all the ‘insights’ & treatment pathways mentioned here as the ‘latest’ research-driven approaches. Dr Ron Srgal is both a Psychologist & depth Buddhist practitioner who understands this.
HUGE fan of renaissance movement of mindfulness practices . Definitely going to echo Ron Siegel but also Dan Siegel ( the whole flock really ) also Jack Kornfield, Rick Hanson (who does free weekly online sanghas ) Tara Brach , Sharon Salzburg , etc etc once you read on you naturally follow everyone else.
I love these multiple voices on the same subject because they address different issues from difference lenses of perspective so eventually it will click.
These practices have kept me on this side of the grass. I was lucky to stumble onto a Buddhist DBT specialist, who’d quite literally saved my life and sent me on my own journey towards relearning some of the practices I set aside as “woo” and reinvesting in my spiritual practices. Even as someone atheist/secular I have found so much value in it. Being here and now “this five minutes” is a powerful lesson.
I get this. However, across the world BPD/EUPD is still viewed as a character flaw that doesn’t deserve treatment. In the UK, NHS England tried to implement a scheme just 2 years ago that criminalised these patients, refusing them access to hospital treatment and sending them to the criminal justice system instead. By no treatment, I mean no access to treatment for wounds or overdose. Patients were to be given a police officer as mentor and limited intervention by health professionals. The scheme was developed by an ex police officer from his basement on the Isle of Wight. NHS England did not check the evidence for the scheme, which used inaccurate records. For example, on patient forced into the scheme was recorded as not having accesssed emergency healthcare throughout. When checked, it was found that she had been hospitalised the entire time. There were many irregularities with the data. Nevertheless, NHS England began to roll out the scheme. They would never have done that had there been any care or concern for these patients. That’s the reality of the situation in many places.
This may not be a course that will benefit you or your patients and I am grateful for that. It is still very much needed in various places.
This will help me to focus on helping one of my clients in particular have “physical” strategies for soothing young parts inside (ex. “hand-holding”) – beyond strategies she’s already using – and I believe will further enable her to move toward more self-compassion. Thank you.
I would say getting the sound standardized with everybody’s mic style would uplevel these productions. Sound is key.
I agree with you wholeheartedly on that.
Hi I’m from Malaysia. Would love to connect with professionals in the field near this region. Love the simple and yet promising strategies and learnt a lot about traumatic invalidation
I am not a professional therapist, and I am a person seeking therapist and healing. In my search and journey for healing, it has been super hard to find a good therapist that I can be with over the course of past over 15 years. And that drives me as well as Forces me to study healing of all kinds myself. I have had abandonment issues plus many other types of trauma in early age. I definitely can Validate through my personal experiences what Janina said about When treating the fear of abandonment, to ask a client go directly to the Compassionate mode is just not possible without being understood how deeply painful to despair these parts felt in a person, as well as the extreme amount of fear all got triggered. It is like not being in tune with what a person’s internal experiences with its sensations and feelings to prescribe a healing medicine modality or suggestion. That won’t work. Finally, I started to hear the validation of being understood of the abandonment in both early age as well as the social cultural related experiences of abandonment. As an immigrant, I have experience so much despair not being understood. People would try to use their experiences that they came to California from Connecticut or Ohio’ small town to tell me that they understood me how I have felt the isolation as an immigrant ! They had no idea what I have experienced on the social cultural context of abandonment feeling. I appreciate NICABM’s professional work from all the therapist and researchers, and Your willingness to explore with Your clients and open minded to discoveries continually! Your work and presentations are truly deserve to be applauded! Often most of the hurt I experienced are from therapists, teachers and healers who consider themselves they know it all state. They failed to listen and discover with client when the client’s experiences is not what they expected.
Li Jiang, i am gratefull for your text here as i find myself in your story especially the part where u state that most re-traumatization happens with therapists thinking they know but they dont. Going on studying trauma to save myself as well, didnt find a trauma therapist in my country and till finding few portals like NICABM and similar, was in the dark, forever pacient compansating with other successes. I am also very gratefull to NICABM, Ruth Burzinsky, Janina Fisher and others to share this knowledge in such na empathetic way. I hope one day i Will be out of the trauma leading mylife helping others in my country. Sadly i am buying books for trauma to my therapists and i was more a threat to them doing this gesture and hoping one of them in 20 years od therapy would see the valid of me so i could be valid. In this one webinar i summarized a lot od knowledge that previoysly Just couldnt put toghther. So thank you for not hiding this knowledge only in pschological associations but that u give all us others the possibility to study your programmes.
Thank you all, especially Ruth moderator. This information is helpful to me personally, also for friends in need and for my consultancy where I try to help individuals achieve their best states of being in order to be more productive on the job. I attended City University NYC with the intention of obtaining my Phd in Psychology, but the murders of my siblings and the resultant disruption of my family in Jamaica put an end to that.
Having myself suffered trauma in childhood and worked through it on my own, I am constantly observing people and understanding their traumas.
Thanks again,
Jennifer Stephenson-Bent
The dual responses of hyperarousal ( cry for help) and hypoarousal ( preparing for death) in the abandoned infant were very familiar and good to have identified however there is little mention in these seminars of the somatic symptoms so prevalent in complex trauma from infantile neglect/ abandonment/abuse. In my experience they may be the most significant presenting symptoms eg dysautonomia , IBS, CFS, etc
The frustrating thing is that it takes over 20 years from the time these new findings and modalities are discovered until they make it into the practicing community.