The Steep Cost of an Unlived Life: How to Help Patients Who Struggle to Feel Alive After Trauma
with Bessel van der Kolk, MD; Judith Herman, MD; Janina Fisher, PhD; Pat Ogden, PhD; Usha Tummala-Narra, PhD; Eboni Webb, PsyD; Ruth Lanius, MD, PhD; Kathy Steele, MN, CS; Ellyn Bader, PhD; Megan Schmidt, PsyD; Ruth Buczynski, PhD
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The notion of a kind of fake aliveness makes so much sense, along with the idea of feeling most alive when being in touch w trauma -makes sense of hypochondria (playing the victim). Also how important ‘showing’ is in young children, and the idea that pleasure received from that, if it doesn’t happen in early childhood due to neglect, doesn’t develop well in the brain – and so feels unsafe.
The details expressed by each of the professionals has been most eye opening to the underlying causes and affects of trauma. Thank you as this presentation has also added many new tools available for use in my toolbox.
I am deeply grateful for sharing all this information. I’ve learnt so much from the 5 sessions. The neurobiological teachings were very helpful to gain more insight to client behaviour. Thank you.
I have found that Stage 4 that Dr. Herman speaks about is one of the most critical or clients. Often times that is all they need/want to hear…that what happened to them was wrong and be vindicated if not from their family of origin, the therapist. So many nuggets in this module. Thank you so much.
In Judith Herman’s 4th step, what if the perpetrator and accomplices are dead? How does one shift the shame from the violated 2-3 yr old?
i’m so inspired by the wonderful practitioners you gather for these summits. i feel a lot of support in my learning and keeping on this work of engaging with my people. massive and heartfelt thanks
Presently i do not have a client that does not feel alive but I like the statements of the client saying “I am alive”, I wil use this when needed and the movements.
As with all the other modules I liked the weaving of research and theoretical concepts with practice issues, treatment suggestions and case examples. I have found that trauma doesn’t only suppress the person’s vitality, it kills the person’s spirit. One of our tasks as therapists is to help our clients recognize and celebrate their resilience and to build on this and rekindle their spirit. In therapy I always encourage clients to do as homework an activity that makes them laugh, and to do one nice thing a day for themselves and to write down how they felt afterwards. I have found this particular exercise gives people permission to enjoy and be nice to themselves and be able to tune in to and celebrate their positive feelings about themselves. Thanks to the suggestion, I will add to the options – do one nice thing a day for yourself and/or do something that gives you some small pleasure… and note how it made you feel. Another takeaway for me (which I will incorporate in my own toolkit of techniques/strategies) is to invite clients to have a dialogue with the different parts of their selves.
Thanks again to Ruth and all the professionals for developing this program and series their knowledge and experiences. It’s an excellent program. I’m looking forward to reading the transcripts and getting the additional bonus programs.
Shame. Prof. Resnick helped me most: She said intention has to be determined. e.g. did you intend to be raped? In law, you are judged by intention. The clear response is I did not intend this to happen. So, is it shame or is it sorrow?
Dr. D. Muss Originator of the Rewind Technique(as used in RTM,Human Givens etc.) http://www.iartt.com
David hi
Not quite sure of your point here
At the end of the day, what matters is which treatment is most efficacious. So you are right that there can be an event which is (externally-driven, ie non-consensual) PTSD, and another event which is much more complex but which therefore involves Moral Injury too.
The Law helps but can only bring partial healing
??
Hi,
Thank you to everyone who has contributed to the program.
I think stage 4 as described by Prof.Dr. J Herman is a very important addition to the recovery-model for cptsd. It touches upon the same question Martin Bohus described when he explained patients are retraumatized in society all the time: that this is the second trauma.
It can be opportune for some trauma survivors to pursue legal action, for instance, and in that case, the therapist can also play a bit part outside of the practice.
There are undoubtedly many other ways in which the doctor or therapist can help with the acknowledgment of the trauma in world- outside of the practice and the one-on-one relationship.
The ‘second trauma’ is indeed a particularly tragic event because of course it adds in the moral injury dimension whereby the patient now feels they have colluded with the re-traumatisation.
As a lay person (aged 65) I have found this program profoundly informative and helpful. Having experienced significant trauma from an early age and actively tried (for 30+ years) to come to terms with it and why I don’t ever feel I belong or fit in, I at long last feel I may have found a way forward. Thank you to each and ever contributor from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you for creating this! I am definitely considering purchasing the gold package, but am wondering if the infomertial sales pitch parts are edited out? No offense intended here, I just don’t want to listen to them over and over again if I’m a paying customer.
I agree. Too many commercials for the gold package.
Want to share my appreciation and gratitude to everyone involved in creating these 5 lessons. I hope to purchase the Gold Package before November 7 to earth and read all supplemental videos and transcripts. Great wisdom here. The only topic not covered is how to recognize the harm from being around people who continually sabotage your healing and aliveness so they can control, exploit or abuse you. Learning how to recognize them, deal with them (grey rock) and undo the gaslighting has been extremely empowering so that the information presented here can help me heal. Can’t heal when those around you benefit from you not healing. My deepest gratitude.
Thank you for teaching me how to heal myself. Never found a therapist who would even be open to these ideas.
Self harm is not addressed. Cutting and hair pulling. Suicide idealisation. I would like to use this type of therapy to help those who have been through a trauma and self harm in order to ‘feel alive’.
A plea from my bleeding country. We have 100’s of thousands reeling from a massacre of at least 1400 innocent people. They have only been able to identify 800+ of them in over three weeks of 24 hour shifts in forensic lab work. Many are f the bodies are mutilated and burned beyond ability to obtain DNA. Children were wired with metal to their parents bodies back to back and set afire. We know this because the spines are fused.
We are experiencing suicide attempts by terrified children. Panic attacks in adults. Others who are moving on but will emerge one day never the same.
Are there members of your therapeutic community who would consider offering training to Israeli and Arabic professionals and clergy? The Druze, Bedouin and Christian Arabs are terrified.
I look forward to your response. Thank you for your work
In the face of what you are facing, the only human, humble response is to look down and fall silent
I do hope you will get the expert help you need but it may be that you now know more than most present and will be empowered and enlightened to bring some comfort to a traumatised society.
For that, trust yourself
My family and friends are praying for the peace of Jerusalem – there are no words. A compassionate embrace to all from us to you and those you are working with.
I agree with Richard Fletcher that this was the best of the course. I am a seasoned therapist/psychologist with a background in dance/movement therapy and authentic movement. The focus on embodiment and its relationship to trauma and its healing is essential to my mind. I just started working with a significantly traumatized patient with severe OCD on increasing her sense of and behavioral engagement with pleasure, and its relationship to developing her sense of self, as in “I like” this or that, emphasis on the “I.”
I look forward to the bonus sessions that come out of this module. Thank you for the work of pulling all this together.
PS I also am very interested in the neuropsychology of this module and will review it and the related bonuses associated with it. I remember a therapist I knew years ago talked about people not having “receptors” for certain experiences, which fits neatly with the concepts of neurodevelopment discussed here. Thanks again.
Thank you so much for this course. Very valuable, useful insights and up to date methods.
I begin some sessions in the Consultation phase explaining the ACE’s.
I have used humour (appropriate and relevant to the patient / service user) to help someone laugh, and bring them back to the present. That now feels even more okay.
Reinforcing “…you are live…”. I remind my service users that they have survived 100% of everything they’ve been through and that they have strength and depth in spite of it / because of it (depending on their situation).
I really enjoyed the short audio I was able to listen to.
Thank you.
Good point about HUMOUR ! (its immediacy, its lightness) and, dare I say it, an excessive focus on ‘wokeness’ will squeeze out of us?
deep brain re-orienting for patients with refractory trauma re-living is new to me- thank you.
also i am so glad for the spreading of treatment of trauma in connecting with somatic experiencing – so valuable and result oriented
thank you so much!
I’m a survivor, how I get help as described here? I had many a-ha moments listening! thank you
‘HR’ is Croatia ??
There will be others where you are but, until you find them, listen and relisten – and let those a-ha moments fill a bigger and bigger space. Once you intuit where there is healing, the human spirit will have a keen nose to follow
deep brain re-orienting for patients with refractory trauma re-living is new to me
also i am so glad for the spreading of treatment of trauma in connecting with somatic experiencing – so valuable and result oriented
thank you so much!
Thank you!
thanks again Ruth and all the professionals for sharing this wonderful series for free for those who can’t afford it. Wonderful psychoeducation of the Neurobiology of Trauma and great suggestions on how to help people to feel alive without reliving their trauma. also liked the socratic questions used and the 4 steps for civil justice to rid a trauma survivor of deep shame and self blame and the use of the gestalt chairs to deal with the fear part and nurturing part of you. and another great take away was understanding that high risk taking behavior can be a way trauma survivors feel alive and connecting with a sense of threat familiar to them during their trauma experiences. there were too many great takeaways too mention. thanks again.
best to all of you
Deep Brain Orienting: What kind of therapist will be familiar with this treatment? It resonated deeply with me and I feel it’s what I really need.
DBR (Deep Brain Reorientating) can be an advertising phrase so what matters is what modalities/therapies a therapist actually offers and whether they are worthy of your consideration (because if you don’t warm to them, don’t go to them).
What are some examples of modalities/therapies? I have seen a few therapists and all they do is have me talk about my day and come back in a week or two. It has never addressed trauma at all, and certainly nothing that has been discussed here in this training. I am very frustrated with this profession because I seem to only hear about trauma specialization but in the real world, I am not getting help for trauma and very deep-seated abandonment/attachment/neglect issues that carry into my life. In addition, I have had several traumas in my adult life such as rape, sexual assault, illness almost costing me my life, childbirth almost costing me my life, and now, a progressive neurological disease. And my daughter has estranged me because of my suicide attempt that I barely survived. There are days when talking myself out of it again doesn’t come so easily anymore. If there is a way to narrow down the kind of therapist that can help me, that would be amazing. Thank you for your help.
Some of the different treatment/healing modalities that have been mentioned in this program include Somatic Experiencing (Peter Levine) and parts therapy (eg Internal Family Systems from Richard Schwartz.) Also, Polyvagal Theory (Stephen Porges, Deb Dana) was referenced quite a bit. There are many online resources where you can learn more about these systems, and get a feel for what might work for you. Then you can find look for practitioners who use these techniques. There are online resources to help with that also, for example lists of practitioners who are certified in different modalities. Hope this helps. Good luck with your healing journey.
So sorry to hear your struggles with life and with getting help – not fair at all
You probably need to be searching for PTSD therapy and/or C-PTSD therapy, and one modality that has had good results with PTSD and was mentioned in at least one of the talks is EMDR, although, even there, there will be good and bad therapists.
Psychodynamic therapy should in theory help but, again, often not done well. CBT can help but you have probably tried that and found it lightweight (you would need ‘trauma-informed CBT’). DBT is a possible, and CFT (compassion-focussed therapy, ie extending to yourself the same compassion that you probably have extended to others)
Since you know what the causes of your anguish are, don’t linger with any therapist who is not getting to work on them. Trust your own judgment and leave – don’t keep hoping that the next session will be useful
BEST TALK so far – his should be the start point
this should be ..
I am working on an underdeveloped country, Mexico. As a retired therapist, I work on a sliding scale or barter
I wonder if I qualify for this course free of charge as you mention is your priority
Thank you for considering my request
Nancy Clingan
Nayarit MX
Do you have a payment plan?
I am missing an important element in a trauma healing voyage: Trauma as an opportunity for spiritual awakening.
I am intrigued by your comment because i both agree and disagree!
All negatives (especially pain) are opportunities for positives (especially spiritual life). Nevertheless, while we might tend to agree on what constitutes the pain of trauma, we may well disagree on what constitutes spiritual awareness, and how to give birth to it
All ‘spiritual awareness’ must surely incorporate several features including a sense of the joy of belonging (? to the human race, to the life of the planet?) and what has been covered here are the most elemental steps through which many a tortured soul must pass before they can have a spiritual awakening that is worth having, ie one that is truly theirs and not one thrust on them as a new trauma – heaven forbid!
Here is the conundrum. I, the adult, believes in and trusts in God. I define my God by the Bible. The children, which is what I call the 256 personalities do not trust God because it is difficult to differentiate between God and the wannabe god who I would call Satan. The reason for this situation is part of the programming. At around 4 my God was washed from my hard drive, and in it’s place I was forced to accept to acknowledge and accept their evil god. I basically had to accept their diabolical insanity and make it my reality just to survive. So the children have a very difficult time differentiating between the two. But as I continue to heal, the children do not react as strongly when things go wrong.
Another important issue is that at that young age, I loved God. He was real to me. This is a recovered memory after much therapy. The memory made me cry over the loss and the wonderful realization that I had loved God before the brain washing.
One other thing that I would address is that you mentioned the joy of belonging. I would add the joy of a true sense of purpose, not necessarily a negative one, but a loving one.
Also, I have known many people who without trauma have a real spiritual awareness. They have joy in so may things: nature and being part of it, love and joy in wanting to serve mankind. To be truthful, part of me is jealous, but in other ways, I am not for I have learned so much more than they would be able to understand.
Thanks again for your feedback, and I hope that what I have shared clarifies some of what you mentioned from my point of view. Continue taking care and God bless!
I have truly learned much regarding my own trauma during these sessions. I did even in the module 5: I AM ALIVE, and I have survived. It is now time for me to go forward and live MY life not theirs. I and my many personalities/ identities needed to hear that out loud. It struck on a much deeper level, and it expands more throughout my being every time that I say it.
Thank you for letting me be a part of this event.
However, I feel that there is a topic that has been overlooked, and it is an integral part of at least 4 of the 5 sessions. This must occur before the other subjects can exist: BETRAYAL. Betrayed/ neglected, betrayed/ abandoned, betrayed/ moral injury (betrayal of one’s own moral code), and betrayal/ an unlived life.
Please understand that this is not a criticism, only an observation, which I hope can help each of you in recognizing part of what the client is feeling, and why they would have trouble trusting.
I am a lay person who has endured many, many deep traumas even psychotic breaks and catatonia during the tortures/traumas before the age of 6, and I have gone way beyond Borderline Personality Disorder with 256 personalities with the last count. The reason that I mention this, it is why I feel, in my experience, that betrayal always went hand in hand with neglect, abandonment, moral injury, and the cost of an unlived life.
Again, thank you for allowing me to be a part of this experience and for sharing. It was very painful, but most rewarding in helping me see certain aspects of my traumas from which I can now heal and go forward. May God richly bless each of you and your loved ones.
Most sincerely,
I am alive
Betrayal. Yes. This. Absolutely.
I am so sorry you have suffered so much. I hope you are finding some healing. Prayers for you. Thank you for sharing your story. I truly appreciate it.
Thank you, Ann, for your prayers, and yes, I am healing. If you scroll down on to my response to Richard Fletcher, Coach, GB, you will see more of my journey. but be assured that I shall overcome.
God has truly blessed me with my amazing and most precious wife for even in the mist of all of the pain we are to find something to laugh about. She listens, reassures, holds me when I cry, and just loves me. In fact, the definition of her name in Great Britain is God’s gracious gift, and she has been all of that to me. He continues to bless, encourage, and inspire me through her. He has and continues to bless in so many ways for which I am grateful. Gratitude is also a blessing.
Again that you for loving heart and your prayers.
Ann, I just read your story, and I am truly sorry for your suffering. I have asked God to bless with hope and healing and to show you your value as a child of God. I acknowledge your strength in going forward after all of the pain that you have endured. I am glad for your failed suicide because I pray that now there time for some real insights and healing for what feels lie a damaged soul. If I may, I wish to share a phrase which continues to help me, (it helps me from feeling like a victim). Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you. So much of the time, one doesn’t see how in the world something like what you have suffered, could actually be a benefit, but as you continue on your path with your change in viewpoint, you start to see where it is true. The important part which is also the hardest is to change your viewpoint believing that you are a victor, no longer a victim of life nor “just” a survivor, but walking a most difficult path of learning and growing.
You have a loving heart, a great strength, courage, an ability to persevere, in spite of your attempt to check out. I have those qualities, and as it is said, “It takes one to know one”.
I am sorry that you feel alone without someone to support and encourage you, it makes the journey so much more difficult. Believe me I know. I walked alone for so many years, and now I am walking with love, acceptance, encouragement, and support. Something which I would have missed had I succeeded in my suicide attempts.
I know that you can’t see it right now, but you have a lot to look forward to in your life. Sometimes it may feel like the line in a movie, ” Cheer up, life could be worse, so I cheered up, and sure enough, life got worse.” Sometimes it does, but given time, it can start to get better.
Ann, I acknowledge your suffering, your pain, your hopeless and helpless feelings. They are real, and so are you.
If I may before I end here, send you a really big, big, warm and loving hug, a kiss on your cheek, and to tell you that you are very special. I see it even though you can’t, YET.
I shall continue to keep you in my prayers asking God to bless you with peace and love, especially for self and light.
Walter, yours is a very tender and brave comment, and it is clear you are seeking a wholeness that will be as gracious as the graciousness of the expression of your pain
Yes, ‘betrayal’ was not, to my recollection, a word used in the sessions but maybe ‘betrayal’ is an adult word with moral connotations whereas quite simply what the child felt at the time was ‘unsafe’, suddenly unsafe, following an abandonment, and of course the child assumed that it was the child’s own fault (and therefore something more traumatic than a betrayal).
I’m not an expert in these things but I would ask ‘what gives you hope or pleasure?’ Go for them, and ‘What brings you shame and sadness?’ Then trust the judgment of others to allow you to put any such shame and sadness aside, not because they aren’t ‘real’ (because they certainly are real) but because they are not permanent; and they are nor permanent because they are essentially glitches (glitches in the matrix), and glitches are always having to repeat themselves in the face of the healing that the organism (you) will, by definition and by essence, be compelled to bring to itself (although the whole healing process may well not be without pain (I attest to that)
Child assumed that it was the child’s own fault (and therefore something more traumatic than a betrayal). I was told over and over in the scientific brain washing experiment that it was my fault, and that my parents and siblings wanted nothing to do with me because I was a “bad boy”. I was then subjected to many horrendous tortures: physical, emotional, mental, and sexual to completely erase my hard drive so that they could upload their software. Some of which I was programmed to commit suicide rather than remember the “secret”. So I daily deal with depression and a call to commit suicide when a memory starts to surface.
Both of what you said about the child believing that it was his fault is accurate, but there is also a sense of betrayal.
One possibility is that the incestual violations began before I could speak and ventured out to include being shared with my fathers cronies, forced to participate in satanic rituals: cutting out the victims heat, eating of it, drinking the blood, the afterwards orgy, etc., etc.
What gives me hope? The big one is that I know that God has a purpose for me and all of this.
The next is my lovely and amazing wife. Not only has she been super supportive, loving, and reassuring, but I know that she deeply loves me, and I deeply love her even after 34 years of marriage. The knowledge of what my suicide would do to her gives me the strength to try and go to sleep at night and wake up the next day knowing the pain that that day will bring. I have learned much about myself that I didn’t know when I began this journey: I am strong, I am brave, I am courageous, and I persevere against great odds/ barriers.
So I shall continue to forge ahead attending classes like this, and trust that God will continue to guide me on the path that I need to follow.
Thank you for your concern and your suggestions.
May God continue to bless you in all of your endeavors.
Walter, your story is heartbreaking and yet so good to hear where you are and hear the hope in your comments, hear your gratitude as you continue to heal from such horrific events in your life. Something that came to mind as I read your comments is that it is absolutely necessary to name (or come to a sure conviction of) that this was real harm done to you (as you say, betrayal). I do believe that is a necessary step of healing in many cases of trauma. Adam Young has a podcast where he speaks of this importance (podcast is called The Place We Find Ourselves).
More personally, some of the most profound moments of my healing were having memories that would resurface and rather than push them down, I had resolved to grieve them well. For me, this meant revisiting that memory later in the day if I wasn’t in a place where I could cry, grieve, scream, whatever. I would take this memory to God, hear Him say the words to me “I saw that, yes, that was wrong what he did to you.” or something like that….and I would cry and feel His presence as I grieved that memory. As I did that, memories would resurface that I hadn’t thought of in years….
I offer that story to you as you are obviously open to God’s work of healing in your life and so hopeful that it will help or encourage you (although I suspect you have already experienced the same).
Thank you for sharing your story.
Hello, Jennifer. Yes, I do believe in God, and I do cry thanking God for wonderful release that comes with crying, which I was not allowed to do at that time without severe torture. I would usually remember something, but other times it was just a great release of pressure in my entire body.
When I first began to remember my time in the experiment, I thought that I was being punished, and I kept asking God if was. His eventual reply was no. I allowed it for My glory and purpose, and when it had accomplished my purpose, I made it end. He also brought several Bible verses to mind to re-enforce His words. That realization put a whole new light on my suffering, and this may sound bizarre to some, but I was able to thank Him for thinking me worthy to suffer for His glory.
Now that doesn’t mean that I enjoy all of the pain and trauma that I have to remember…no way! Most of the time as the adult, I can accept that insight, but when the identities are in charge, I am lost in the traumas that they are living. It is hard to get the adult back in charge as 256 vs 1 are not good odds. Laughter! (God’s blessing of humor and laughter in the mist of dealing with all of this.)
Thank you for sharing, your compassion, and your love.
I pray that God would continue to bless and completely heal you.
For me it was a wonderful experience to listen to you and very useful. A phrase from Cioran reverberates in my mind. “Maybe suffering has no more justification than life”. I hope your efforts reach those who are waiting for it.
Thank you. Cornelia Demetra Prodan
As a layperson and someone who has been diagnosed with BPD, ADHD and a few others during my 64 years of existence, I am ETERNALLY GRATEFUL for these incredible people who WANT to understand people like me.
I agree with everything that was expressed here. I am now able to High-Five myself every morning. I know some of you will understand how incredibly difficult it has been for me to even acknowledge that I mattered enough to learn to Love myself.
I have more growth and learning Acceptance of what was ,but I am ALWAYS inspired by the ongoing Awareness of this Branch of Medicine.
I do not have access to quality counselling, although free , to a degree in Canada , I rely on free programs like this.
It is true that when a person ,even begins, to recover from Complex Developmental Issues (Trauma ) that , They in turn begin to Heal those around Them.
My relationships are so less straining for everyone and therefore I benefit from this as my nervous system ( mid brain ) begins to understand what my intellect ( Frontal cortex ) knows and my intuition ( brainstem) is correcting .
I use many methods to aid in my Brain Recovery. EFT being my primary as it is self guiding and on hand immediately , Breath work , Vagus nerve resetting ( not all are effective) and a lot of self talk now that I have a better relationship with SELF and am less prone to believing the old messages( triggered ).
I was not attention seeking, I was looking to see if I actually existed or mattered. Suicidal attempts were excruciating to endure.
PLEASE understand how incredibly scary it is to survive that way and not be understood. I got tired of hearing that it was my Impulsive behaviour that caused me so much grief. I had zero control over my brain. I have reprogrammed so much because of People like these Wonderful Doctors and Specialists.
Please support and if able Purchase this gold package because someone is waiting to hear something from this.
Blessings, Suzanne
Thank you for sharing freely these 5 weeks of “Trauma Care”.
I have had over 50 years experience as an RN, and 44 years experience as a Family Nurse Practition. I worked to inregrate mind and body as I was priviledge to work mostly in LA County. My patients in the Kaiser Mental Health system taught me so much as I cared for threir physical care in the context of an acute Psychiatric process. In the outpaient experience, in homeless health care and at risk programs I was also chalenged. Then as an Adjunct faculty at Azusa Pacific University in the I taught truma informed care for all ages and culturual groupgs.
This progam of 5 weeks filled in so many gaps of assessmentand treatment in my understanding. Thank you so much
Linda Schutz
I am what might be termed as a lay person, although I’ve often been mistaken for a psychologist many times. I want to leave a comment regarding the three stages of trauma recovery. My trauma which started from birth, being born to a woman who had Schizophrenia with no meds and for my childhood feeling displaced after being taken away from my mother by the courts when i was 3 years old and then was compounded by a first marriage which traumatized me further as she was a survivor of severe child abuse. I lost myself completely being totally immersed in helping her. I hated my mother for 36 years. I dearly loved my first wife.
The point I want to make is this. I can see through my own experience that the call for a 4th stage won’t be necessary for all cases of trauma. I didn’t blame my mother, she was sick, there was no looking for justice regarding her on my account. Also there was no call from me for justice regarding my first wife. I loved her, she was suffering and I just happened to feel the lions share of it. I can see why a 4th stage will be necessary for some but certainly not for everyone.
Thank you for increasing my knowledge with this information. A lot of things hit home here. Thank you for being dedicated to the relieving of suffering.
Among other things, I am a practitioner of shiatsu, a touch therapy based in Chinese medicine. My experience is that shiatsu can help to develop a sense of safety and embodiment, which I’ve conceptualized as a first-step or precondition or foundation. I know that clients may say that they feel more like themselves after a session, but I hadn’t thought about this in terms of the problem of aliveness in a way I will now be thinking about more consciously.
A good question – whether it is aliveness or indeed ‘pseudo-aliveness; (= arousal)
I am a life coach and a trauma survivor (narcissistic abuse, cPTSD, parental alienation) and do not have the background to treat clients and patients as they may need, but I want to recognize and understand what is happening within them (and me) and help them pursue further interaction with qualified therapists. I was in therapy for nine years before I fully understood what had happened to me and found healing, and my greatest desire in life is to help others, especially mature women, thrive after leaving these relationships. This course revealed simple and effective ways to recognize and address trauma. Thank you for your expertise and willingness to share your knowledge of healing trauma.
I listened to you as a lay person and got quite a lot of clarification concerning past experiences from which I kept some tendancies as hypervigilance, and austerity. Nothing too much a handicap but there is that margin for improvement, not buying into all of this as being profoundly myself etc. I thank you very much for confirming my attempts to open doors of spirituality by getting first well down into my body, connect with others in shared emotions, and let the ego do its job but know it’s not in charge of everything. I wish you all the inspiration you can find here once back working with your clients. There is so much which can be done today, that was impossible 40 years ago!
Thank you for bringing great psychologists/therapists to share their insights from working with trauma-affected people.
What is my takeaway is a deeper understanding of the nature of trauma. What I am missing and would like to see happening is not only what is happening and saying what was helpful but also showing how to apply different strategies and techniques that provided improvement. It seems you assume that we all know how to use specific strategies. That’s a huge missing part in all the courses I’ve taken with you. That is only what prevents me from buying the golden package. I genuinely miss you people being more on a concrete level, sharing pieces of your practice for us to have a direct experience. It’s like describing the taste of an apple but not giving us an apple to taste.
Tatiana, much of what you are asking for is in the Bonus material in the Gold Package.
I am working as a lay volunteer in at risk communities with extensive trauma, single parents, children killing children, because of their lost identity and the triggers fueled by a lack of brain development causing them to use risk taking behaviors to stimulate their awareness of self and being. Thank you for helping me understand a little more of what I am dealing with.
I too as a very young child had a life-threatening accident and significant feelings of abandonment and neglect because of my family’s economic status. As a child I was unable to understand them. Fortunately, I got to adulthood and found helpers to help me navigate and find meaning.
I will research and experiment with incorporating more gentle embodiment exercises in my sessions – to help ground and center in the safety of the present moment to increase awareness and introspection outside of the trauma story & patterning. Thank you for this insightful course.
Thank you to all the presenters. Of the many things that struck me, I’ll mention but two: one is how pleased I am to see that DBR is now integrated into mainstream trauma work. I working with Frank Corrigan when he developed it and helped set up the first workshop and I know that many people have readily integrated its use into all sorts of modalities. Secondly, I do a lot of thinking and working around abuse in religious settings and I found it deeply moving and inspiring to hear the new 4th stage of healing advocated by Judith Hermann – the need for acknowledgement, witnessing and some kind of justice. Religious groups are often reluctant to acknowledge anything that has happened and/or the work done for victims is all in private. This gives power to my elbow in advocating for more! Thank you.
May God grant you wisdom and bless your efforts!
I experienced abuse in church and I totally agree with you and Dr. Herman. Victims can’t stress enough the need for acknowledgement of their experiences and justice, but unfortunately the catholic church often solely understands “give us money”. And they prefer their victims to stay silent. I have the strong feeling celibate priests and bishops feel embarrassed when confronted with the existence of healthy sexuality let alone child sexual abuse and they are very uncomfortable to comment on something they don’t know enough about (or didn’t have proper sex-ed, regarding their age).
They have to understand that victims have a right to talk about their experiences in a public way and to be listened to in order to heal and not feel offended by that. A former Sister turned theologist published a book in Germany about her spiritual abuse and does research on this field (look for Doris Reisinger, née Wagner) which got a lot of attention.
I wonder who does or how to heal a large community eg a parish after abuse has happened.
After yesterday’s session I also wonder if I unconsciously chose a career in church in an attempt to feel alive or activated enough. I even stayed in the same place with my parents, unable for years to move on or even taking up romantic relationships, maybe caused by chronic shutdown. I only recognized I was severely burnt out the day I was preaching to the community of my origin and passing out afterwards in the church building.
The video session has given me a lot of stuff to think about and dots to connect! Therefore I’m very grateful for all the expertise which will allow me to take further steps in healing.
Great presentation:
Most important points for me: The concept of aliveness, and it’s importance for shutdown clients; some ideas of how to address aliveness; the use of risky behaviour in order to feel pseudo-aliveness; ways to draw clients’ attention to ways in which they are alive (“See how you just smiled/laughed/lit up!”); the use of movement to promote connection to capacity for aliveness; shame as a barrier to aliveness, and how to shift the blame back to the perpatrators of the trauma; the neurobiology of the Default Mode Network (which I must explore for myself!); and why a child (like me!) might dissociate from my happy, pleasurable feelings, as a child, in order to avoid being clattered around the head! (and how I now laugh out loud, and run and play, and sing at the top of my voice, because I am healed!); and on and on.
Great work! A Nobel Profession Indeed!
Best wishes, Jim
It is so amazing to see Judith Herman continuing to practice in the area of trauma. I attended a workshop she had in Wellington, New Zealand many, many years ago (when I lived in NZ). She is awesome.
I also really appreciated Ruth L’s contribution in regards to deep brain reorienting. She explained it in very understandable terms. While I appreciate all presenters the presenters and value their input, I always find Ruth L to be very helpful.
Thanks for this valuable Trauma Modules. They are so invaluable.
PS: I am a retired School Psychologist, but am often unable to choose my profession in the area where such is asked for. For that reason I often click on other professions such as psychologist or counselor.
Thank you for the opportunity to watch this program for free. It has been so helpful to me as a layperson with aspirations to start my business as an energy work practitioner.
I was really amazed to hear about the “deep brain re-orienting” developed by Frank Corrigan and briefly described by the awesome Ruth Lanius.
I wish you all the best with sales of the program which is beyond my means at this time.
Marg
superb ideas
will buy the gold package
It should be worth more than 10.5 c.m.e points.
more like 25cme
Much Appreciated
thank you Pat Ogden. Faciitating aliveness is the fundamental process of Focusing also: accessing a felt or “alive” experiencing. ( developed by Eugene Gendlin PhD and others)
Another insightful session, thanks all for some great presentations and information.
One of my clients did not feel alive at all. He relived the trauma a lot of times. What worked for him was to re visit thd things that used to bring him peace and calm and what sources of calm there still are in his life. It helped him reconnect him with the physical sensations of joy and aliveness. I also understand his relationship patterns now where it landed to abandonment as his parents abandoned him. Getting into these relationships and patterns familiar to him being repeated might create a sense of safety as abandonment was known. Being loved and wanted was an unfamiliar experience.
Thank you!
Thank you for making this wonderful information available to
a wide range of persons who might not be able to afford the
Gold package. It has been an enlightening experience. Many
thanks!
superb ideas
will buy the gold package
very interesting especially not identifying oneself with trauma, asking intelligent questions.
can i just buy the first module about neglect?
thank you
alain drimmer
I will use psycho-education to help build compassion for how trauma story can make one feel alive, and is that how they want to feel alive?