The Neurobiology of Attachment
with Dan Siegel, MD ;
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with Dan Siegel, MD; Ruth Lanius, MD, PhD; Allan Schore, PhD; Bessel van der Kolk, MD; and Ruth Buczynski, PhD
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This is a learning community for practitioners. We can’t wait to hear what you’re going to use with your clients
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Rauni Toffer, Marriage/Family Therapy, FI says
I found it very interesting to learn more about how trauma affects to the brain and how it can be seen in therapeutic sessions. I use inner child/ adult in my work and focus to the body a lot. It was interesting to hear how to stay more together with the client at the hyperarousal state and follow it. I use a lot focusing also to the breathing, because a believe that the chance in breathing comes first to , in implicit way, to tell us about the danger and also about the safety. I use it myself in sessions and call the client also to be curious about that, together with any other reaction in her body. I liked a lot how attachment styles are involved in all and i think a can talk more about these styles with my clients in individual and couple session. Thanks a lot for all professionals speaking so understandable way!
Neeru Chadda, Psychology, AU says
Thank you Ruth for facilitating the sharing of so much wisdom and translatable ideas for helping clients grow in resources and competencies to live healthier and happier lives. I’ve heard the live streamed interviews for the past two days and am looking forward to the next three.🌻 warm regards, Neeru Chadda
Sasha Little, Counseling, Newnan, GA, USA says
I absolutely loved this webinar. I have a lot of clients who have traumatic childhood experiences. I really valued the technique of the adult self and the child self. Having the adult self nurture and care for the child self is powerful and healing. This technique allows the client to empower themselves and practice self-efficacy.
I also like the concept of teaching clients to develop positive emotions. “what you focus on expands.” This phrase is powerful. The self-monitoring questions such as, How do you cope with that trauma? How did you get yourself to come to therapy? Great questions!
I love building up people without it coming across like flattery. Therefore, this is a great tool to implement to sincerely helping people recognize their strengths and abilities.
Evelyn Samuel, Coach, MY says
My biggest take-away from this session is that being a safe person for clients translates differently for them, depending on their personal experiences of attachment and the response styles they developed as coping skills.
Pamela LESTER, Other, CA says
Please expand on the topic of epigenetics, and the impact of the mother’s stress and her own trauma history on the developing foetus. We also need a focus on pre-birth trauma, including the loss of womb-mates, leaving a sole survivor with imprints of the energies of those sharing their womb.
Emma Smith, Another Field, GB says
I love the way that patients/clients are talked about respectfully without downplaying the difficulties. Clinicians really need to understand that they have to be able to manage themselves in order to do right by their patients/clients.
Angela Hartnell, Other, CA says
I Found this session really informative & not only helps to gain ideas on how to assist clients but also helped dive into my own self & explain some interesting actions that I myself do! Thank you as it is extremely helpful and very useful in providing future techniques!!!
Marianne Jahn, Other, DK says
Is there any study that points to a connection between parents with CPTSD og PTSD and children later diagnosed with ADHD? Or High levels of cortisol in a newborn?
Patricia Schmieg, Other, Randolph, MA, USA says
I’m not a therapist. I have/had a friend who was severely traumatized and I wish I knew what we just watched in 2 days ten years ago. My mistakes pushed her away but here’s a question:
if you’re highly empathic, how do you use empathy with a client to sense the trauma but not absorb it into yourself?
Joanbe Bates, Counseling, Newark, NJ, USA says
Hello, Camille,
That is an extraordinary life story to share with all readers on this forum. As we are all “persons” with profound dignity, we readers can extend compassion and celebrate you as a wonderful human. It would be wonderful if you would write a book. congratulations on achieving 82 years of life worth living.
Best kind regards.
Aga H.Reiser, Psychology, NL says
Thank you! Learning so much here, this is mind blowing and Im looking forward to hearing more. One day I will buy your course but right now Im so grateful its possible for me to join without costs.
Denise Carr-DeRamus, Counseling, PRATTVILLE, AL, USA says
I found it interesting to find out how trauma decreases the length of telespheres which is then transmitted to future generations causing them to be susceptible to physical disorders.
Additionally, I found it interesting to find that people with trauma may be more affected by the death of a pet versus the death of a person they are close to.
Laura pasternack, Counseling, GB says
very interesting but what do you suggest? most people font live in stressful hippie lifestyles.in a capitalist society with both parents having stress just meeting their normal expenses of rent, mortgage, bills and food… how can the mother Not be stressed? Add to that trans generational stress and what hope is there for the poor baby who grows into an old stresses out child, teenager and then adult, who then passes their own stress into their own children?
brave new world.
J Bates, Counseling, Newark, NJ, USA says
Hello,
Your comments are thoughtful and well-taken. Although parents are under great pressure, the situation is even more dire. In the U.S.A., as many as 75% of babies are born to single women with no husband. They are often economically deprived. This is statistical data, including all babies born, including those to mothers migrating without documents or women who were victims of sexual violence. However, it includes the mainstream middle class women who cannot persuade the men to marry them or acknowledge paternity. This is a sad prognosis for the future of children. Even though the knowledge of psychology is now extremely advanced, the sheer tragedy is how can we possibly apply it to the overwhelming need? However, we must start at the top and avail ourselves of knowledge to hold out goals of achieving more respect for the needs of child-bearing women.
Cinthya Padilla, Coach, MX says
Knowing that trauma can be a transgenerational situation gives us the opportunity to provide our patients with more tools to work with the same trauma. Another important point is knowing how to manage this backdraft that we can provoke when revisiting trauma, so it is important to have tools that allow us to work with trauma safely. One fundamental way, in my opinion, is to keep the person in the present moment. Thank you for your effort in keeping us updated on such important advancements
Ingrid Collins, Psychology, GB says
1) I agree with and use appreciative enquiry to strengthen the client’s capacity for self reliance and to rebuild a positive self image. 2) I struggle with and would challenge the idea of “parts” because I feel it potentially could encourage fragmenting of the personality, so prefer to address and call the difficult “parts” simply difficult ideas or thoughts. 3) I have often used the presence of an animal to good effect. For example, once a client with zero self love became entranced by my affectionate cat, and so I asked him what did the cat see in him as she lay purring in his lap that he had lost sight of in himself. The session became quite magical as he built up a list of positive attributes. 4) As I also have the ability to channel healing energy, I can use the clients’ tangible feelings as they receive the energy to inform them that my spirit guides are sending healing to them over the bridge of unconditional love. This enlarges their awareness that they are worthy of love and connection.
J Bates, Counseling, Newark, NJ, USA says
Hello,
Perhaps you might be familiar with “Internal Family Systems” Therapy by Richard Schwartz, Ph D. It is merely a “treatment model.” It is currently a popular method. This presentation is about treating clients who are already self-identified as experiencing what is called dissociation. It is intended to be helpful so that the clients can understand themselves better. It is offered merely as a tool.
Best regards.
Jayasree Kastury, Social Work, Washington , DC, USA says
Hello Mrs. Buczynski,
My daughter has experienced trauma
Growing up and after marriage. We did not realize until it was too late and it affected her behavior. These sessions are helping me a lot when trying to help her.
Thanks a lot.
jeni chiriac, Psychology, RO says
Knowledge of the neurobiological mechanisms underlying attachment processes provides psychologists with a deeper understanding of how individuals form and maintain relationships, regulate emotions, and respond to social cues. This understanding can inform psychological assessments, interventions, and therapeutic approaches. Thank you. Great opportunity to improve my knowledge on this subject
A. L., Social Work, Cleveland, OH, USA says
I keep waiting for these clinicians to report how the clients feel after intervention—e.g. verbatim reporting— I think, I feel x way instead of y way like before–that we hear the change in affect, feeling, thought, etc. That would help to know the probable result of the different efforts toward the client.
Adhira Syam, Counseling, IN says
Thank you so much for making this a free webinar. I remember one of my clients telling me how they were second-guessing themselves for sharing their traumatic experience with me. And understanding how empathy, and our kindness can affect our clients makes me look at this interaction with my client differently. This surely is eye-opening.
Diane Soriano, Counseling, San Jose,, CA, USA says
The importance of our role as therapists and the responsibility to regulate ourselves and to respect the client’s decisions while holding space for them.
Judy Schink, Health Education, Champlin, MN, USA says
Thank you for your sharing! I’ve worn many hats over the years working in schools: Early Childhood Consultant, EC Coordinator, Parent and staff educator, EC Special Education teacher and an anatomy/medical terminology teacher. I hope to share some of your information for parent and staff education. My appreciation for the opportunity to listen and learn up to date information from your professionals pertaining to the psychological elements of brain development.
Rosa Poire, Other, MX says
This was a great session, with a lot of practical orientations. I find specially useful to know about the types of attachment and their implications, also the alternatives to connect using midnfulness as a vehicle to get in touch with the body sensations that are always wise guides to open new understandings and to deep our perspective on the resources we have. Thank you very much
Terese Shelton, MS, CPC, Coach, Charleston, SC, USA says
Sending thanks to the content experts, the producers, editors and marketing staff who created this highly consumable, accessible trauma series…I am a professional patient navigator and health coach working with chronically ill and traumatized caregivers who deal with brain-based disorders, auto-immune diseases and a variety of fatal conditions. We who experience collateral trauma ourselves, as practitioners, can benefit enormously from what you are teaching through this course. Five stars!
Barbara McLean, Teacher, Aiken, SC, USA says
I’m a retired associate professor and LCSW and i’ve just read Dr. VanDer Kolk book . This was very helpful to me in better understanding The Brain Keeps The Score and some family members who are Viet Nam vets suffering with PTSD. It also is helping me with reflecting back on my own life and the realization of how very fortunate my life has been, growing up knowing I have always belonged and knowing I was loved. Thank you.
Victoria Derrick, Occupational Therapy, GB says
Really interesting – thank you!
The part I found most linked with my developing practice is the concept that we invoke types of relationships and reactions from others – I observe this frequently in the population of children I work with and have focussed on supporting the teaching staff (I work as a mental health occupational therapist in a school) to recognise what could be happening and develop their own sensory and emotional regulation skills and to be able to support the children through co-regulation . I work with some children individually but there is not the funding to work with all so supporting staff an effective use of time etc
Shanii Davis, Health Education, CA says
I love the comments about patient unique experiences … ie. kindness allowing overexposure, smiling being associated with a personality flip towards abuse or anger later. So complicated how nice isn’t enough, but so true.
Madeleine Gill, Psychotherapy, State College, PA, USA says
Important to note that fathers (and others) can and do affect the developing fetus in a number of ways. For example, 1)A father can mistreat the pregnant mother, thus raising her cortisol levels, among other things. 2)A father can create a loud, chaotic environment, whether overtly abusive or not, that can both directly and indirectly affect the developing fetus. Thus, the mother’s dysregulated emotional states and reactions are not the only influences on the developing fetus. Thank you.
Charity van Delft, Psychology, NO says
I agree with the others, this is wonderful! Some points are good reminders and others are new ways of thinking about the work. Thank you all! I will definately consider the gold package, if there is some way I can ask a couple of questions first.
I would really LOVE to see a client version of these presentations. I believe several of my clients would benefit greatly from getting all these ideas so well presented. I could then reinforce/discuss/help apply instead of using sessions to explain it all, which I do now. It wouldn’t require very much change of content, just replacing the comments meant for therapists with comments to clients, but I realize the editing might be a bigger job.
As I live in another country, where English is not the primary language, I think it would help spread this fabulous learing opportunity to therapists around the world if there was texting (subtitles), even if they are in English. Sometimes it’s easier to understand what is being said that way.
Susan Michelfelder, Clergy, Rocky Mount, NC, USA says
Happy to hear that main stream psychotherapy is finaly catching up with the teaching I got in the 1980s: give everybody a choice, “Would you like a cup of tea?”; acknowledge and explore as able the pre and perinatal experience of the person; do the family genome so the person can reflect on the gifts and hazzards they inherited; assure them you will walk with them to the extent they want you to; focus on what is working more than on what is not working; encourage them to identify resources they have found along the way, stuffed animals can be a big help; acknowledge that the “solution”, the wisdom, the healing is within the person; self-monitor for the tendancy to “help” people rather than empower the person to help themselves as they are able; the butterfly is in the cocoon, don’t rip it open, it will emerge in its own time.
John Haw, Nursing, Ashland , OR, USA says
This segment is particularly helpful for me because I may well have had some placental exposure to excess cortisol and I had a right sided head injury with a loss of consciousness greater than 1/2hr. After a lot of minimization by the medical community over decades a functional MRI shows that my Rt ventricles don’t visualize (they’re compressed enough there is no CSF to make clear spot that would be seen with the imaging). Postulation- scar tissue or inflammation. Difficulty processing information has always been a problem for me. Personal relationships have been and are difficult like not remembering to avoid invalidating remarks with my wife who is especially sensitive to them. I hope the remaining segments will be as helpful.
Susan Gordon, Coach, CA says
I loved hearing about the importance of animals for some clients struggling with attachment issues. My primary clients are horses. But, of course, those horses have owners, and often unravelling the trauma between the humans and the animals is a practice unto itself. I’ve worked as a professional trainer for over forty years, starting with a couple of very young horses when I was a teenager. One of the horses was started in a very harsh, traumatizing manner, leaving her untrustworthy with triggered responses that would show up when I least expected them. The other one, a yearling colt out of a well-adjusted, peaceful mare and handled with kindness from birth, was incredibly easy to train. He loved people, and they loved him back. He taught many children how to ride and show until the day he passed away at age 26.
After decades of working as a professional, many of the horses brought to me for training were from backgrounds of abuse or other traumatizing situations, such as off-the-track thoroughbreds. Understanding these horses and turning them back into safe, manageable mounts became my specialty. Understanding the “people problems” that lead to the abuse of these horses has been more difficult. I turned to practicing meditation and mindfulness techniques, hence my interest in NICABM and other teachers.
In 2015, my book, The Compassionate Equestrian (Gordon/Schoen DVM, pub. Trafalgar Square Books/Horse and Rider Books), became the 25 Principles of Compassionate Equitation now used by several Equine Facilitated Learning and Wellness programs around the world. It is striking how the crossover between animal behaviourist theory and practice is becoming ever more correlated with the latest in neurobiology and healing trauma in humans. Ultimately, what we understand about the ever-aroused equine brain can be applied to understanding trauma in humans and vice versa.
I’m looking forward to the balance of the sessions in this series.
COLLEEN BENSON, Other, EL CAJON, CA, USA says
Hello, thank you for making this available for free. I am not a practitioner, I am actually just an unemployed, 60 year old that is trying to figure out how to fix my own developmental trauma because I want to be able to figure out where in my body I feel the trauma’s I received because I somehow disconnected from feeling those things and all of the different modes of healing I have learned involves pinpointing those feelings in my body and none of them have given me a way to do it. Anyway, I have learned and tried to use eft, neurodynamic breathwork, reiki, and a few other things but I don’t have health insurance or an income so it has been an uphill battle I haven’t figured out yet. I will continue watching and hoping for a clue.
Frances Purdy, Coach, Salem , OR, USA says
One of of the other methods for establishing relationship with a client who is not ready to use words is to simulate the level of control (comfort) with art materials (resistive to fluid) and either “parallel-play” or cooperative play giving the client as much choice directiveness as is comfortable.
Marie Franklin, Psychotherapy, NZ says
Thank you , this has been incredibly helpful.
I got so many significant insights. Around providing safety. So refreshing !
Thee we neurobiology helped, also up regulating and down regulating
Salli Watson, Psychology, AU says
Thank you. I found this session very helpful.
I think kindness and compassion can be expressed in a range of different ways depending on the client’s window of tolerance. Maybe sometimes a quieter form of kindness and compassion can work eg in a quiet, comfortable, safe professional setting with an outlook onto ‘nature’(bird sounds, greenery, trees) – (I’m fortunate to work in a semi-rural/ city fringe area) – and express/model curiosity, receptivity, creating a safe, ‘different’ space for the client to speak, to cry, to be angry, to laugh, to be heard, to translate memories, somatic or emotional experiences into language to frame and re-frame their own connections -can often provide a new, very different experience for them. A bit like the example given today where the toddler who has grazed their knee doesn’t cry and scream until they are picked up and held, until their experience of pain can be adequately heard, held and contained and can feel nurtured through the experience to the point of having a different somatic, emotional and cognitive experience that can then be held in their own memory. I think this experience is foundational and formative in the attachment process – in primary attachments and also in the therapeutic context. Thank you again, you have stimulated and challenged me to think afresh and conceptualise my own experience as a therapist
Karine Tadevosyan, Other, Lowell, MA, USA says
I am a parent and in desperate search to heal my own teenage daughter who was traumatized by me since I was pregnant. I was under enourmoous stress due to betrayal by a family member. But then when my daughter was born my mothering was that of my mother even though I had told myself never to be like her. I was completely self unaware. She was very colicky baby, I didn’t know how to soothe her, and my nervious system was getting triggered constantly by her uncontrolled cries. And I was not mentally attached to my baby because of my own defenses. I was afraid to get hurt and wounded if I ever lost her. Now the more I listen to more I realize how impotent I am to help my daughter to heal from me. My own feeling of guilt, insure how to do what to say, no support and understanding… I have gone through several therapists over the years but nobody really helped us. All was done was do some assessments for ADHD, and other disorders and she was labeled as Mood Disregulation disorder and offered drugs which I refused. Thats why I have lost my faith in the entire system of pshocology and psychologists and therapists, etc. The best ones who have gotten to the root of the problem to the multigenerational trauma, to the childhood trauma of caregivers, to the attachment issues, etc.. those therapists are not available because they are busy educating everybody, writing books, giving talks in conferences like this one. I do learn and search and am not stopping at the challenge, however I am so depressed for not getting anywhere. I know I am my daughter’s best bet, but I am not equpped to re-wire because of my own insecure attachment patterns, triggers, insecurities. I am right now listening to “Myth of Normal” by Gabot Mate, have listened to Dr Neufeld’s “Hold on to your kids”, Oprah’s “What happened to you”, and many more. I have taken over 8+ online courses from Neufeld Institute on Making sense of attention problems, alpha children, making sense of adolescence, teachability factor, 5-steps to maturity, making sense of attachment, etc. My daughter has a disorganized attachment I think, she wants me but pushes me away, seeks my love but in unloving ways, is not thriving, no vitality, attached to her iphone.. it just breaks my heart knowing I am the reason. I am heartbroken knowing the legacy I am leaving her with. My explosion of self-awareness is both a blessing and a curse. I feel lonely as my friends, family do not have capacity to support and we are mostly isolated, there is no attachment village. If you know any therapist who is available to work with us, lives in Boston area, or willing to do remotely, or any other book or conference on healing from traume that might be helpful I am willing to try. Your conference is helpful as it added a few more pieces into my giant puzzle that I am trying to solve. THANK YOU! Sincerely, K. T.
K Moore, Other, Long Beach, CA, USA says
Karine,
I have chilled to the resemblance of our stories. I have an almost exact story except that I have 3 teenagers. My kid’s are thriving for the most part because of the other parent who was their secure attachment figure while I was unable to be that person to them. When I stopped blaming everyone else for my problems and began taking responsibility for my behaviors I found mediation. I have a deep meditation practice that has actually saved my life. I have also started working with someone only a couple of months ago that has been a game changer for me. Kristina Renée Kuzmich Bengala is in San Diego CA and works via zoom. But honestly it is a deep practice in mediation that has guided me to Kristina. It’s hard work, no doubt! But I am finding forgiveness and compassion which is allowing me to heal. So much of what they share here is KEY! Listening to our bodies, but we have to learn how to do that and it takes time and a lot of patience. Much Love to you and your daughter.
Peadar O'Loughlin, Other, IE says
Hi Karine, Here are a few thoughts that came to mind as I read your post. Firstly I wish my primary terrorizer had even displayed a scintilla of the awareness and remorse that you possess. It would have been immensely cathartic for me and for the overall family dynamic. So take a bow, you are already ahead with your daughter’s healing journey. My second point is based on the old saying ‘You can take a horse to water but you cannot make it drink’. I wondered if perhaps you are almost trying too hard(?) Your daughter will eventually have to develop her own curiosity and longing for awareness. One suggestion if you haven’t already done so might be to leave some actual physical books lying around for her to find (especially those you found helpful). In my case someone left a copy of “The Road Less Travelled” for me to find as a teenager. It was helpful and engrossing to read though it didn’t deal directly with abuse situations. However it introduced me to the author, Scott Peck who later published “People Of The Lie” which was both an eye opener and a life saver for me. My last point is a reading suggestion.. virtually anything by Nicole LaPera known as the The Holistic Therapist. I don’t think she does one to one sessions now but she runs an active online community programme. My very best wishes to you and your daughter. P O’L
J Bates, Counseling, Newark, NJ, USA says
Hello,
Thanks for sharing. it is touching. Maybe contact the Trauma Institute in the Boston area that is by Bessel van der Kolk. There will be an annual conference in May. The website may have a list of counselors. Best kind regards
Sophie Elworthy, Psychotherapy, NZ says
I found this session insightful and it also validated some technique I seem to do intuitively around right to right brain communication and up-regulating. I enjoyed the whole session and found many helpful ideas to translate into my practice. I really like the practical suggestions: Pat Ogden’s suggestions on how to use physicality and offer choice throughout, so encouraging and supporting self-agency. I found the clear descriptions of different attachment styles and how they might play out in a person’s life or in the therapy room helpful and also the suggestions around providing psych ed in order to slow the process down and ask the client to take some charge of that. I am hoping to use all of these things in my practice this week.
Chantelle Hyde, Another Field, CA says
In today’s session, I found it especially important to highlight a person’s need for control and choice in their day and life. I also appreciate the message about the dangers of restraints, as my advocacy work for The Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint is what brings me to these sessions. The traumatic impact of seclusions and restraints are undeniable. The information contained in these sessions are a part of the roadmap to doing better. Thank you!
Lee Barnes, Psychotherapy, GB says
Thank you for another great, informative presentation. It was really helpful to be reminded that being warm and empathic can be triggering for some patients/clients as it may revive the perpetrator/abuser for them who was warm and friendly but so abusive.
Toni Mulvihill, Exercise Physiology, Nassawadox, VA, USA says
Thank you. Just this morning I was speaking on not being a dictator and allowing the person’s own innate intelligence provide & allow for their healing experience, as Pat Ogden said this afternoon. I’m happy that we’re in sync.
Mina Matania, Counseling, GB says
Mina Matania (Mindspace Mina) Counsellor, London UK
I’m very grateful for today’s insights. A handful of clients kept popping into my head and I thought about what I could have done better! As somone considered highly empathic in both my personal and professional lives, the consideration of empathy and kindness in working with trauma clients was extremely helpful. From a personal perspective, having had strong and secure attachments from both parents, it was interesting to learn how trauma can cause ruptures in adulthood. Thank You!
Carol Brown, Counseling, Mansfield, OH, USA says
I think this is great. I especially like the variety of presenters, their personal professional examples, the pacing, opportunity for different times, suggestion for writing in journal and Ron’s suggestion of psycho-education. Having worked in child welfare and residential programs it is useful to consider the prenatal issues, trauma of relinquishment, and awareness of the trauma potential or reality of physical holds. I have taken a number of these courses through the years and its good to be back.
Thanks Ruth and all the presenters of NICABM.
Lucy Kungu, Counseling, KE says
I am Lucy Kung’u from Kenya. Thank you very much for the session, it was informative and very well presented. I have been dealing with a client who has gone through complicated grief and trauma, currently displaying PTSD since moving out of her country. Having to make choices, use of mindfulness, an emphasis on positive coping mechanisms, psycho-educating on how the trauma impacts the body and using the first part of the session to build and uplift the client will be very helpful in my sessions with this client. I greatly appreciate the opportunity to learn.