Many of us look back at our teenage years and realize that while often turbulent, these years laid the groundwork for who we are today. We learned incredible amounts of information, not just in terms of academics but also in terms of who we were as individuals.
But why were these years so turbulent?
At the time that I was living it, I felt that my parents seemed a big part of my teenage angst. Why couldn’t they just let me be me? Of course as I matured, this view has changed greatly.
Now I wonder if parents obtain sainthood when dealing with teenage behavior that mystifies the rational brain.
But after reading some new research, 
perhaps the behavior isn’t so mysterious… Frances Jensen is an epilepsy expert at Harvard Medical School and Children’s Hospital Boston, who recently shifted her attention to look at the teenage brain. What did she find?
It is different from ours.
Teens have fast growing synapses, but also parts of the brain that aren’t yet fully connected. The frontal lobes are the part of the brain that deals with cognitive functions, such as reasoning, planning and judgment.
Teenagers do not yet have fully connected frontal lobes, which mean that while they can use the frontal lobes, the access is going to be slower. Teens don’t have as much myelin (fatty coating) on their nerve cells, which causes these slow connections. The myelin insulation won’t be complete until they reach their late 20s.
This helps to explain why parents complain that their teens can be self-centered. Thinking about the effects of actions requires insight, which generally comes from a fully-connected frontal lobe.
That doesn’t mean that our teens are inherently thought-less, selfish creatures. Just that it takes more effort on their brain’s part to think through consequences.
What else do we know about the teenage brain?
Neural networks (allowing neurons to communicate through chemical channels) are enlarging in teens. This evolutionary biology has made adolescent brains more excitable so that they can learn more easily, but it also means that they are more vulnerable to external stressors like drugs.
So next time that your teen drives you to distraction, realize that their brains are functioning in a different way than ours.
If this article interested you, check this out.
Can you help me understand the correlation between these scientific findings of the brain development and selfishness? Slower cognitive functioning = selfish?
A+
I was struck by the hoestny of your posting
Your gripping posts have me hooked up each and every time i read them… I distinctly remember when i was redirected here for a nice read and ever since that day, i have not missed reading a single post of yours, though i have not commented on your posts…
Like a lot of methods, its works for some, but not for all!
Wow Lisa. That’s such a visceral deroispticn of how slowly we can sink into soul weariness. It’s not always so easy to ascertain when to breathe and have patience vs. when to let it go and move on! Of course the more times we move through experiences like you describe the stronger our meters get on when to take action and when we might just need to let the roots grow before pulling out the plant. Maybe there’s something to the fact that you never felt the inner warmth when you got there. I do believe our body guides us and sometimes it brings us information we may not be ready to hear so we tune it out. I’ve done that with many relationships in my life for sure! I’m so glad you made the decision to love and honor yourself enough to relocate your precious Soul to somewhere that you can thrive. You deserve it. Often I have found that once I’ve extricated myself from a situation like that I’m shocked at how much it actually was wearing me down and how long I accepted what was actually unacceptable. I also love that you found a way to feed yourself and nurture yourself in the meantime. Once we make a decision to change it’s not always so fast to happen! Too often people lose heart, feel defeated or chicken out. But you have found the courage and support to hang in there and follow your dream. Many blessings ma. Thanks for your heartfelt sharing.
Thanks, Ruth, for your clear response. I am more of the opinion now that FASD is an umbrella, under which many organic brain syndrome and disorders fit. There are a significant number of connectors between Tourrette’s syndrome, oppositional defiant disorder, attention deficit and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and I’m researching autism. There are interesting follow through indicators in the symbolic language they use in their drawings, which in my experience means there is a link. Now to find out specifically what it means???:)
~Corry
Kaety! How fantastic that you lteeinsd and shared! Ha. I know all too well that impatience that can drive us into action- any action as long as we’re moving. And of course in some ways it has served me. But like yourself I have had to learn to cultivate some peace and acceptance with where I am since that was not my strong suit to begin with. It seems to be a pendulum effect sometimes where you may at first swing too much in one direction and then swing too far in the other as you say things to yourself like But you need to be patient cause you know how you can be too impulsive I’m sorry to hear that your job is traumatic at times but as you said sometimes it’s what you need to do. The best we can do in those circumstances in my opinion is A) Check in and make sure that’s what we really need to do. Then B) Really feel into and appreciate how meaningful it is that you get to bring that gift to your family. C) Do the best you can to support, nourish and nurture yourself in anyway possible fully recognizing that there is a toll on you. Even if that means leaning on other sometimes. D) As you said- keep cultivating the faith and optimism that this too shall pass. And that everyday brings new and wonderful possibilities. Your inner voice is an amazing one Kaety. I hope you find the space and the stillness to be guided by it. xo
Thank you for your kind words. I will dyarely remember them and keep them dear to my heart. Kaety
Hi Janie, the term FASD refers to conditions such as fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS), alcohol-related neurodevelopmental disorder (ARND), and alcohol-related birth defects (ARBD). Brain damage and physical defects are the primary disabilities associated with FASD.
Lifelong behavioral or cognitive problems may include: mental retardation, learning disabilities, hyperactivity, attention deficits, and problems with impulse control and social skills.
Hope this helps.
Ruth
What is FASD? Everyone assumes we are to know all these letters that stand for something.
Thanks,
Janie
Many thanks!
Interesting read on teen brain and so true! Maturity only happens at age 25…
As a nurse, I got involved in therapeutic art methods, NLP, Senoi Indian dream work and resonance in music therapy to assist my griefwork after my daughter’s death. Years later, we adopted a baby who turned out to have FASD. Although over simplified, I will say I raised him using these strategies which was an astounding experience in how it allowed him to ‘connect’ and ‘correct’ his learning and communication skills.
He sadly became a crack addict in his teen years, but I continued working with him while learning myself at the same time, aware he could be my greatest teacher. I was aware of a theory by Russian scientists that the brain stops ‘maturing’ in drug addicts, especially with heroin, although I found this same theme in my son on crack.
We were finally left without any other recourse than to insist on one constant: that he deal with his unresolved grief about his birthmother and his feelings of abandonment, as I felt it was the root of his addiction and his pain. He needed to grow through his grief, just as I did.
He met her, forgave her and himself and has been gainfully employed and is in a healthy relationship with a wonderful girl now for 29 months. He ended his relationship with his birthmother as she was unwilling to change her lifestyle.
I am getting to know my son all over again, as he is a changed personality without a doubt. I do believe we must have been onto something profound in the process we engaged in raising him, as his level of function is far higher than any other FASD person I’ve ever worked with (and I spent 18 years working with FASD kids in foster care.) Our dedication to his welfare was admittedly profound, but I also realize what is possible in what we discovered, for others who have FASD and are malingering on welfare or homeless or imprisoned. Our society can change this, in my belief.There is a way to make the brain connect, despite the damage of FASD.